Mother surprised DD with tickets to a concert she doesn’t want to go to

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I’d force her to go. It’s a concert not a prison sentence, and I think it’s important for teens to try new experiences.

I'd buy Grandma a trip to a nudist resort, and guilt trip her if she doesn't want to go. It's not a prison sentence, and it's important for old people to try new experiences!

Utterly bizarre forcing a child to attend an event she doesn't want to, and claim that it's "a gift."

Not remotely the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is crazy to me that people are suggesting having your kid miss school for something she doesn't even want to do just to appease her grandmother, who shouldn't have bought the gift in the first place. Telling your daughter she has to go or encouraging her to go will likely make her feel like her family doesn't care about seeing her for who she is really is.

+1 But people are responding this way because it's Taylor Swift, and they're superimposing their own desire and/or their own DD's desire to see this particular show.

Nope, I hadn’t read the update that it was a Swift concert at the time I posted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it's an outing with her grandma, I would tell my child to go.

If it were just the tickets, I would have her sell them and do something else.

My teen wanted to go to a kpop concert. I got us tickets and dreaded it. Guess what? I danced the whole time and made a great memory with my kid.

That is wild to me. Force a kid on an airplane and missing school for a non essential event she doesn't want to go to?

No no and no. Tell her she has choices, and control over her own life. She should not be forced to go.

I don’t agree with this perspective. Family is important, and we emphasize the value of having loving grandparents in our lives. I would have agreed with PP that because it’s her grandma and she would be spending time with her, I’d have her go…except for the fact that DD has autism and this is a unique case. As for school, to me it just isn’t a big deal to miss a day for family.

[Anonymous]

I flew to see her this spring and had a blast, but I can't imagine putting my kid through that if they didn't want to do it. Our flights barely made it into the airport and the show was delayed because of storms. We got out at after 1am, and then had to make early flights the next day. I was fine with that because I wanted to be there, but if I hadn't it would have been awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it's an outing with her grandma, I would tell my child to go.

If it were just the tickets, I would have her sell them and do something else.

My teen wanted to go to a kpop concert. I got us tickets and dreaded it. Guess what? I danced the whole time and made a great memory with my kid.

That is wild to me. Force a kid on an airplane and missing school for a non essential event she doesn't want to go to?

No no and no. Tell her she has choices, and control over her own life. She should not be forced to go.

I don’t agree with this perspective. Family is important, and we emphasize the value of having loving grandparents in our lives. I would have agreed with PP that because it’s her grandma and she would be spending time with her, I’d have her go…except for the fact that DD has autism and this is a unique case. As for school, to me it just isn’t a big deal to miss a day for family.

Having a good relationship with grandma is important, but that does not mean rewarding inconsiderate and manipulative behavior.

[Anonymous]

Stop pinning this on autism, people. No one should be forced into a trip like this.
And certainly not as a "gift" for the victim. If DD wants to do a trip as a gift for Grandma, that's cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because it's an outing with her grandma, I would tell my child to go.

If it were just the tickets, I would have her sell them and do something else.

My teen wanted to go to a kpop concert. I got us tickets and dreaded it. Guess what? I danced the whole time and made a great memory with my kid.

Wow, you really can't tell the difference between choosing to do something of your own free will, and forcing your daughter to do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh OP that is such a cool and generous gift from your mom. Your 14 year old is lucky!

I know why OP didn’t go out and immediately tell people it was a Taylor Swift concert because for some reason Taylor Swift fans can’t understand that not everyone is dying to go to her concert.

I'm a fan and certainly can understand why some people don't like her. I don't know why people who don't like Taylor Swift feel the need to knock down fans. It really isn't necessary.

Op Does your dd not like your mom? There has to be more to the story...

Because you people are truly insufferable. You cannot fathom that someone doesn’t feel the same way about a person as you do.

OMG look in a mirror.

[Anonymous]

Can we all agree on one thing, that an activity one person enjoys tremendously can be a torture to someone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in the same situation with DD. We surprised her with expensive tickets to a really hip, edgy band - The Fixx- at wolf trap in November, even though hard rock like that isn’t really our thing.

She was totally unappreciative.

You bought these tickets because she loves that band, right?

Well, not them specifically. But I do know that kids like that sort of hard rock music, even if I don’t care for it.

In truth, I am not exactly sure what her favorite band is. But it would have probably spoiled the surprise if I started asking about that.

It’s so much harder now; you can’t just look at the records in kids rooms to know. All their music is electronically stored on their private phones, and they only listen with those pod-things in their ears.

What? This is bonkers. You can't expect to just pick a band that the "kids" are into and expect your kid to care or be interested. Music is a very personal thing. I promise you it's better to have a gift your kid loves than one that is a surprise. Isn't The Fixx a band from the 80s?

I dont know it just seems like a big leap to assume your kid would like them or even know who they are.

[Anonymous]

Tell grandma NO now so and can sell the tickets. She probably wants to brag to all her friends about how cool she is for taking her granddaughter to the concert.

And for the parents who bought FIXX tickets for a teenager—that’s just weird. Did you even look up the band? It’s going to be all Gen-x and boomers at that concert.

[Anonymous]

This makes me sad because the implication is Grandma thinks DD should be the kind of girl who likes Taylor Swift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gosh OP that is such a cool and generous gift from your mom. Your 14 year old is lucky!

It was a performative -look what I did!- gift that had nothing to do with OP's kid. So, no, it wasn't generous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This makes me sad because the implication is Grandma thinks DD should be the kind of girl who likes Taylor Swift.

Exactly - this is why OP should not make DD go!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to view it as an experience.

This. I’m not a Taylor Swift fan but would go with a relative (especially a grandma) just for the experience.