Feeling terrible for not bringing a gift to a no gifts party when others did

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nooooo - no means no!!

Actually it doesn't. We always take a hostess gift of a bottle of good wine or champagne.

Please don’t unless you know exactly what I like. I have a fridge full of champagne that I don’t drink and a wine rack full of good red wine because I don’t drink red. If I tell you just to come be a guest, do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

At my kids' parties gifts didn't go into a black trash bag but off to the side, out of the way, not on a gift table on full display. The whole point of it is for it not to be awkward. Bring a gift, fine, don't bring a gift, fine. I'd prefer you didn't but if you did, it's fine. It's all good. It's a party!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I have 2 kids and over 30 bday party invites a year, in addition to a busy life. I’m not going to remember to text you, nor do I have the time. I am much more likely to decline if I sense the host is going to be high maintenance.

LOL. No one cares about your attending or not attending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Carry an Amazon gift card in your purse, and put it in the birthday greeting card if you need to. This is not a big problem.

Don't most parents carry several blank greeting cards, checkbook and pen in their car glove compartment especially if they have young children for just these kinds of situations?

No. I keep bandaids, sunscreen and tissues. Definitely not a blank checkbook.

No one is talking to you, idiot! You do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nooooo - no means no!!

Actually it doesn't. We always take a hostess gift of a bottle of good wine or champagne.

DP. Nooooo - no means no, drunky!

+1. I'd rather you gave it to your drinking buddies.

[Anonymous]

Wine and champagne are my least favorite hostess gifts. I end up giving them away to anyone who mentions they like them. I will thank you but not mean it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wine and champagne are my least favorite hostess gifts. I end up giving them away to anyone who mentions they like them. I will thank you but not mean it.

Yeah, I also like to be ungrateful towards friends who are attempting to thank me for hosting them. It’s just a really mature thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

I posted earlier— my kid gets tons and tons of gifts. Our friend party is no-gifts and our family party, which is significantly larger, isn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wine and champagne are my least favorite hostess gifts. I end up giving them away to anyone who mentions they like them. I will thank you but not mean it.

For my girlfriends, I usually do some nice hand lotion, scented oil, candle, etc.. because I know she will usually get wine from others. Most are not big drinkers either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wine and champagne are my least favorite hostess gifts. I end up giving them away to anyone who mentions they like them. I will thank you but not mean it.

Yeah, I also like to be ungrateful towards friends who are attempting to thank me for hosting them. It’s just a really mature thing to do.

It would be the same if someone gave me a box of cigarettes. I will thank you but I prefer you didn’t buy it for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

DP but you don’t need to understand. No gifts means no gifts. No means no. Aren’t we all about teaching our kids the concept of consent? Why is this so difficult for some of you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

I’m sure the kid’s parents got her gifts she actually wanted, you aren’t saving the day with your bracelet making kit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I have 2 kids and over 30 bday party invites a year, in addition to a busy life. I’m not going to remember to text you, nor do I have the time. I am much more likely to decline if I sense the host is going to be high maintenance.

Ah yes, you’re so busy but you insist on buying and wrapping gifts for all 30 parties whether they are wanted or not.