Worried for my friend—could this be grooming?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet again and again there are parents who let their children go off with stranger women who statistically are more likely to physically abuse kids.

Shame shame shame

Oh really? Please share your statistics, poster.

Women abuse kids more than men. Look it up. I’m not your Google.

It is however a fact!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet again and again there are parents who let their children go off with stranger women who statistically are more likely to physically abuse kids.

Shame shame shame

Oh really? Please share your statistics, poster.

Women abuse kids more than men. Look it up. I’m not your Google.

It is however a fact!

In no way is it the black and white fact you assert. Men sexually abuse children at much higher rates and that is physical abuse, poster.

As to physical neglect and abuse absent sexual component, it is more women than men but DUH, more women are custodial parents than men are, by a very wide margin. Having seen what I’ve seen in my 52 years on the rock and 25 of them in the criminal and family justice systems, I feel very confident asserting that if more men than women had primary custody, more men than women would be abusing kids.

[Anonymous]

My dad is 80ish. I feel sorry for innocent old lonely men just minding their business, tending their farm, and some kiddos took an interest in his chickens. She's fully capable of watching out her window, setting time limits, or going along with them. She obviously trusts the man enough to invite him to her porch and feed him. They sound like friends. He's not trying to barge into her home or take the kids to the movies and buy them "popcorn". People used to socialize, before there were smart phones. They got together, in person! Talked and ate, passed the time. What's weird to me is, we've heard nothing about her husband. Why is he out of the picture? Why does she prefer the company of an old man? Probably because he has time to spend, while the husband is working. SAHMs and retired people are on the same schedule. Nothing wrong with that. Get your minds out of the gutter. Trust her judgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet again and again there are parents who let their children go off with stranger women who statistically are more likely to physically abuse kids.

Shame shame shame

Oh really? Please share your statistics, poster.

Women abuse kids more than men. Look it up. I’m not your Google.

It is however a fact!

In no way is it the black and white fact you assert. Men sexually abuse children at much higher rates and that is physical abuse, poster.

As to physical neglect and abuse absent sexual component, it is more women than men but DUH, more women are custodial parents than men are, by a very wide margin. Having seen what I’ve seen in my 52 years on the rock and 25 of them in the criminal and family justice systems, I feel very confident asserting that if more men than women had primary custody, more men than women would be abusing kids.

Yet as clear as women abuse kids more than men, the parent would be “bad” letting their kids go off with an 80 year old female! Clearly. Bad parent.

Yet most of DCUM is full of sexists and men haters anyway!

[Anonymous]

Always follow your gut. You don’t have to make a big production just voice your concerns. I knew of a pedophil well into his 90’s.

[Anonymous]

If I lived on a farm in the county and you called me and said I’m worried you let your kids hang out with the old man next door. I would probably never talk to you again and think you’re a city loon.

[Anonymous]

My grandparents lived in the country and their neighbor would let us siblings come over to spend the night and experience farm life. I would be molested being sent out to gather eggs in the mornings (as well as during the night while I would pretend to be asleep to not have to have any embarrassing or confusing conversations about what was being done to me). I eventually journaled about it and my mother read my journal and that is when we learned this guy was doing the same to my older brother. Pedophiles prey on kids period. They take an interest so the kid will be eager for the “fun” parts of time together. I am very cautious about adults who are eager to spend solo time with children. I am close with teachers who have a real calling to the profession and communicate/connect wonderfully with kids… they still don’t seek out alone time with children. OP, I hope you encourage your friend to start an (on-going) dialogue with her kids about ‘secrets’ and bodily autonomy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet again and again there are parents who let their children go off with stranger women who statistically are more likely to physically abuse kids.

Shame shame shame

Oh really? Please share your statistics, poster.

Women abuse kids more than men. Look it up. I’m not your Google.

It is however a fact!

In no way is it the black and white fact you assert. Men sexually abuse children at much higher rates and that is physical abuse, poster.

As to physical neglect and abuse absent sexual component, it is more women than men but DUH, more women are custodial parents than men are, by a very wide margin. Having seen what I’ve seen in my 52 years on the rock and 25 of them in the criminal and family justice systems, I feel very confident asserting that if more men than women had primary custody, more men than women would be abusing kids.

The pp posted all over another discussion about the fact that women abuse kids more than men and they quoted a study showing that the number of women abusers was marginally higher than men, while ignoring the fact that, as you say, women far outnumber men in both paid and unpaid childcare. This pp does not know or care to understand how important denominators are. Just ignore.

[Anonymous]

Definite groomer behavior.

Makes zero sense whatsoever for a man in his 80’s to have any interest in grandchildren that aren’t his. Not unless he’s having sexual contact with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet again and again there are parents who let their children go off with stranger women who statistically are more likely to physically abuse kids.

Shame shame shame

???????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definite groomer behavior.

Makes zero sense whatsoever for a man in his 80’s to have any interest in grandchildren that aren’t his. Not unless he’s having sexual contact with them.

You are a loon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad is 80ish. I feel sorry for innocent old lonely men just minding their business, tending their farm, and some kiddos took an interest in his chickens. She's fully capable of watching out her window, setting time limits, or going along with them. She obviously trusts the man enough to invite him to her porch and feed him. They sound like friends. He's not trying to barge into her home or take the kids to the movies and buy them "popcorn". People used to socialize, before there were smart phones. They got together, in person! Talked and ate, passed the time. What's weird to me is, we've heard nothing about her husband. Why is he out of the picture? Why does she prefer the company of an old man? Probably because he has time to spend, while the husband is working. SAHMs and retired people are on the same schedule. Nothing wrong with that. Get your minds out of the gutter. Trust her judgement.

Do you think everyone with a child has a husband??

It is 2023. Look around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My H is a child abuse investigator and predators definitely look for single women with young children. They also try to separate the moms from the kids... go shopping I'll watch the kids, I'll take the kids to the movie you need a break, etc.

she's not going to listen to you because like the women on this thread most people live in lalaland where nice old men befriend little kids because they are kind.

In the real world people sexually molest infants and young children at a very high rate and they target single women with young children.

I'd say, "I'm worried that the kids are not safe alone with him." Then leave it alone.

You k iw a dude if reality that most people would rather pretend is not there.

I would never let my child go alone to a male neighbor’s house, unless I had known him for years and years.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but even that news story seems odd to me.

He has “never known such love” (and he has his own grandchildren?).

That little girl is his reason for living??

Seems unhealthy to me (I am not saying sexual).

He can volunteer in a school or something.

I am glad that little girl took him out of his depression/grief, but I think it is odd to cultivate the ongoing relationship when they each have actual families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My H is a child abuse investigator and predators definitely look for single women with young children. They also try to separate the moms from the kids... go shopping I'll watch the kids, I'll take the kids to the movie you need a break, etc.

she's not going to listen to you because like the women on this thread most people live in lalaland where nice old men befriend little kids because they are kind.

In the real world people sexually molest infants and young children at a very high rate and they target single women with young children.

I'd say, "I'm worried that the kids are not safe alone with him." Then leave it alone.

You k iw a dude if reality that most people would rather pretend is not there.

I would never let my child go alone to a male neighbor’s house, unless I had known him for years and years.

You are a complete sexist who discounts all of the stay at home dads out there!