You don’t get to police screen time of other people’s children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You say your not in her house op but if you were then yes her house her rules. Regarding screens, food, sleep, showers really everything is up to her in her house. If she tells you to give her your phone you hand it over .

This is the weirdest post on this thread. If you’re at someone’s house, you literally have to do everything they say? If an adult I’m staying with demands that I give them my phone, I’m not handing it over, period. You have gone off the rails with hosts’ rights here.

I thought we were talking about children, not other adults. Yes, children, including teens, should listen and do what the adults in their family say.

If you tell my teenager to give you her phone, she won’t and I will support that. She’s not your kid. You don’t get to dictate that, your house or not.

If you have something to say about my kid while she’s in your house, you come to me or her dad. Parent your own children and know when you’ve overstepped.

And that business about how sleep, food and showers are also at the hosts’ directive? No. This is BAD HOST behavior.

If my SIL or sister asked my kid for her phone and she didn’t hand it to them it would be big trouble. My child should assume close family members have the same ability to ‘parent’ as I do.

Nope. Don’t act like that’s a universal truth. You had better be on the same damn page with each and every adult you are visiting/vacation with before you pull that particular crap. My sister has that kind of authority with my kids, but her immature, useless-ass husband? NOPE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's at her house, and the volume is out loud for everyone to hear, then yes she's allowed to decide screen time is over.

To clarify, if the volume was out loud at any location, then yeah it's time to end the screen time, if the parent won't provide headphones.

No. It’s time to tell the parents (not the kids) to turn the volume down. “Hiding the devices” of kids who aren’t hers? Meddlesome helicopter moms gone insane,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's the volume or questionable content that others can see, and the kids parents are not doing their job them some other adult has to step in

Yeah, sounds like she had to parent your kids for you.

Wrong. Smug, and wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ages????
You are right that people don’t dictate screen time rules. It does not matter whether you are guest in their home. It’s obnoxious.

But pleasantries require both parties to do their share. If your kid is always on their screen when visiting family, that’s weird too!

I wouldn’t be happy if I saw that, and I would say something to them or remove the phone. But it depends on the age. Are we talking about 10 year olds or teenagers?

Get so very much over yourself.[img]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You say your not in her house op but if you were then yes her house her rules. Regarding screens, food, sleep, showers really everything is up to her in her house. If she tells you to give her your phone you hand it over .

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not clear to me if your kids were the only kids there or if she was saying this to a group that involved her own kids. I would never tell someone’s kids (friends or my nieces/nephews) to get off screens if it was just them. And would be annoyed if someone did that to my kids. But if there’s a group that includes my kids and friends/cousins I think it’s totally fine for the parents of any of the kids involves to tell the kids to out their screens away and go outside/do something else.

You “think” wrong. You are the boss of your own kids and no one else’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is all. Spending time with relatives this weekend and so fed up with my SIL trying to dictate when all the kids can have screens and when they can’t. She even took all their devices and hid them at one point, and she made it really awkward when we basically had to demand them back. She is not anti screen all the time - just when SHE decides she wants no screens, which may not be when I decide.

Parent your own kids and not other people’s.

sorry you play by my rule when you are in my house. don't like it, door to your left.

Bye!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who is policing the adult screen time in this scenario? Because it looks like it needs to policed. OP is spending more time in DCUM than with her family.

Stop being ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t see the point in going on a long weekend with tweens glued to their screens, but I wouldn’t take their devices away. Why are you taking your kids on vacation when they’re sitting on their devices? You could just stay home. Is this a long game effort to get out of time with your husbands family? If so it’s probably working!

What makes you say that OP’s kids were “glued to their screens?” How do you know how much time they were or weren’t on their screens? Maybe it was just before dinner after a long day without them. Maybe it was in the morning before anyone was really up for a family activity. Who knows? OP does, and as their parent, they get to decide what’s appropriate for their own kids. Not SIL and not anyone here.

Two things can be true at the same time. OP is the parent - and she isn’t making the right call.

The “right call” is the call the children’s PARENTS choose to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they were at school and the teacher took the phone because it was distracting would you run to the school and demand it back?

JFC. You aren’t very bright. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids screen time is probably affecting her kids behavior. We have one set of cousins with whom we no longer enjoy spending time because they are glued to their phone/iPads the entire time. My kids are not allowed much screen time but it’s impossible to keep them away from the screens when the cousins have them in their faces the entire time we visit. It takes a week to detox from the screens after spending time with that family. We love the kids and their parents but the parents use screens as a babysitter (immediately pull out phones at a restaurant, etc.). I honestly don’t know what the kids personalities are like because they don’t really interact with the family much. We definitely limit how much time we spend with them now, it’s sad.

Oh well. Guess she’ll have to get off her behind and do some parenting of her own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You say your not in her house op but if you were then yes her house her rules. Regarding screens, food, sleep, showers really everything is up to her in her house. If she tells you to give her your phone you hand it over .

This is the weirdest post on this thread. If you’re at someone’s house, you literally have to do everything they say? If an adult I’m staying with demands that I give them my phone, I’m not handing it over, period. You have gone off the rails with hosts’ rights here.

I thought we were talking about children, not other adults. Yes, children, including teens, should listen and do what the adults in their family say.

If you tell my teenager to give you her phone, she won’t and I will support that. She’s not your kid. You don’t get to dictate that, your house or not.

If you have something to say about my kid while she’s in your house, you come to me or her dad. Parent your own children and know when you’ve overstepped.

And that business about how sleep, food and showers are also at the hosts’ directive? No. This is BAD HOST behavior.

If my SIL or sister asked my kid for her phone and she didn’t hand it to them it would be big trouble. My child should assume close family members have the same ability to ‘parent’ as I do.

Absolutely 100% incorrect, but I admire your dedication to your wrongness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SIL is out of line, but I’d be super pissed I’d say we had planned a fun family lake vacation together and you were just letting your kids watch screens the whole time instead of doing things sucking me kids in along with them. A couple kids on screens a ton can definitely change the whole dynamic and make it hard to get anyone to do anything. Just stay home and watch movies

+1. Sounds like OP’s kids are addicted. If they were normal, healthy teens they would be able to put the phone away most of the time and engage with the rest of the family on vacation. Why do you need a phone when you have real live people in front of you to go swimming with, play cards with, etc.?

Also, OP is calling her SIL a hypocrite for sometimes allowing screens, but not all screentime is equal. Cousins piling onto the couch to watch a movie after dinner is very different from cousins scrolling through Instagram and TikTok all afternoon because the immediate dopamine hit overcomes any desire to try another activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s neither volume nor content. She just randomly decides when the kids should “go do something else.” Not her call. Neutral location (neither of our homes but I don’t agree that’s relevant.) These are older kids who were definitely not misbehaving in any way, not 3 year olds.

And I did handle it directly. But just thought I’d throw it out there for any other would-be screen vigilantes. My kids phones have app limits and downtime. Whether or not she (or you) thinks I am a good parent is also irrelevant. Not her call. Even at her house (which we were not.)

She gets to make up the rules in her own house. You are free to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SIL is out of line, but I’d be super pissed I’d say we had planned a fun family lake vacation together and you were just letting your kids watch screens the whole time instead of doing things sucking me kids in along with them. A couple kids on screens a ton can definitely change the whole dynamic and make it hard to get anyone to do anything. Just stay home and watch movies

+1. Sounds like OP’s kids are addicted. If they were normal, healthy teens they would be able to put the phone away most of the time and engage with the rest of the family on vacation. Why do you need a phone when you have real live people in front of you to go swimming with, play cards with, etc.?

Also, OP is calling her SIL a hypocrite for sometimes allowing screens, but not all screentime is equal. Cousins piling onto the couch to watch a movie after dinner is very different from cousins scrolling through Instagram and TikTok all afternoon because the immediate dopamine hit overcomes any desire to try another activity.

Where did OP say anything like that?