Continue relationship with neighbor kids?

[Anonymous]

I am Catholic. I am pro-gay marriage, pro-choice, hate guns, think Trump is disgusting, pro-transgender rights. My kids go to Catholic school.

If you know about my religion, you probably assume a lot of incorrect things about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Invite them over to dinner to feel them out if they’re homophobic” said no gay person ever. What a delightful evening that sounds like, inviting someone who gives the appearance of hating my lifestyle into my home with my children. “Does my neighbor think I’m an abomination and/or that my family and I should die and suffer in eternal hellfire? Let’s find out in front of the kids over some tacos.”

I don’t think so.

Right? I will be friendly with people when I'm feeling out their potential homophobia but I'm sure not going to leave my children alone with them until I know for sure they're not going to try to proselytize or preach hellfire at queer kids/the kids of queer people. PSA: if you send your children to a school or church that preaches values you don't agree with, it's on you to tell people you don't agree with those values. It's fine and expected for people your school/church preaches against to be wary of you if you don't.

Again, note for all of you calling OP intolerant. Most of the queer parents here are not saying: don't play with children of religious families. They're saying: I understand why you're scared, and maybe supervise playdates for now until you have a better sense of the neighbour's beliefs or at least behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess OP wouldn't want to socialize with conservative Muslims or Jewish people.

Nah, what am I thinking? It's not cool to say that. It's only ok if the offending family is Christian.

Wait - don’t Orthodox Jewish people support gay marriage and LGTBQIA+ rights?

Don’t observant Muslims support LGTBQIA+ rights??

These groups are like fundamentalist christians in that regard. How do you not know that???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I love about the responses here is that everyone assumes that how OP behaves toward her neighbor should be based on how the neighbor behaves toward OP and family.

If neighbor had been mean to the gay family, it would have been okay to have kids stop playing with them.

BUT BUT BUT since neighbor who sends kids to school who teaches that being gay is wrong is not openly horrible to the gay family, everyone here is saying OP should be tolerant and accept this family!

So the herero family gets to set up all the rules, even though they support an organization that negates OP’s family life, and OP should just accept them.

Like, if you’re a black family living next to a KKK family, and they have a noose out in their tree, but they are actually really quite nice to you personally, despite the ideas of the organization they belong to, you should definitely let your kids play together! They are so NICE! It’s YOU who are being intolerant, really!

What is the matter with you all? When people show you who they are, believe them.

The bold is where your whole idea falls apart. OP does not know--and you certainly can't--that they "support an organization that negates OP's family life." The entire point some have made here is that the neighbors may have many reasons OP doesn't know about, for sending a child to a particular school. You and OP both are making assumptions too that the neighbors support every tenet of the church affiliated with the school. Black-and-white, either/or thinking. You don't want others making assumptions about you but you're both free and clear to assume all you like about others.

"When people show you who they are, believe them." Sure. These neighbors have shown OP and her family only neighborly attention so far. You and OP want knee-jerk condemnation of them based on a car magnet and OP's Google search. If OP is concerned she can ask the neighbors but she won't -- it's easier simply to assume they're terrible and put walls around herself.

DP. They pay tuition to a school that is attached to a church that negates OP's family life. I mean, what more are you looking for? Read the statement for Trinity Christian School - they believe people are born a single gender and that's the end of the story. They believe marriage is between a man and a woman, period. There are a billion private schools in NoVA. That someone chooses to pay tuition to that particular school and not any of the others in the same area for the same price says something.

I believe marriage is between a man and a woman. That’s why I married a man. My best friend married a woman and I support her and her wife 100%. Her choice is her choice. I don’t have to agree with it, but I sure as hell support her right to it.

You make no sense whatsoever. How can you believe that marriage is between a man and a woman but also support a marriage that is between two women?

Also, you married a man because you're straight.

I don’t believe in abortion for myself - would never do it - yet I support someone else’s right to do it. Same thing.

You're weird. You can decide not to have an abortion and that's fine, but if you don't call yourself pro-choice then you're off.

Same with the above. It doesn't matter who you marry - you married a man because you're straight. That's not remotely the same thing as choosing whether or not to have an abortion. Unless you're saying you're actually gay but you married a man because you believe marriage is between a man and a woman where you are concerned...

[Anonymous]

I find it really odd that you would write off a perfectly fine neighborly relationship due to a school magnet. Seems really judgemental on your part especially from someone who expects acceptance for

[Anonymous]

.... their lifestyle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes no sense. How do you know what they believe? I teach at church and my son’s best friend has two moms. It makes literally no difference to us.

What does your church's doctrine say? It's probably on their website. Does it say that they believe marriage is between a man and a woman? I bet it does. So you say you don't believe that, fine. But you align yourself with an organization that does. So until you say otherwise, is it really a huge stretch to think that you believe what the church you choose to go to believes?

Not the PP to whom you're responding, but: It IS really a huge assumption to think someone believes every single tenet of what an organization's written doctrine espouses. OP will never know either way because I figure she won't ever enter a dialogue with these neighbors now.

As some earlier PPs have tried to explain: There are people who attend churches or send their children to church-affiliated schools, who do not necessarily embrace every belief of those churches. But again, OP won't ever know if that's the case because she's chosen instead to assume the worst.

Are you just not aware that one can be part of a church and still disagree with, even work against, specific parts of its creed in which you find profound fault?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes no sense. How do you know what they believe? I teach at church and my son’s best friend has two moms. It makes literally no difference to us.

What does your church's doctrine say? It's probably on their website. Does it say that they believe marriage is between a man and a woman? I bet it does. So you say you don't believe that, fine. But you align yourself with an organization that does. So until you say otherwise, is it really a huge stretch to think that you believe what the church you choose to go to believes?

Not the PP to whom you're responding, but: It IS really a huge assumption to think someone believes every single tenet of what an organization's written doctrine espouses. OP will never know either way because I figure she won't ever enter a dialogue with these neighbors now.

As some earlier PPs have tried to explain: There are people who attend churches or send their children to church-affiliated schools, who do not necessarily embrace every belief of those churches. But again, OP won't ever know if that's the case because she's chosen instead to assume the worst.

Are you just not aware that one can be part of a church and still disagree with, even work against, specific parts of its creed in which you find profound fault?

DP. Are you just not aware that some churches go out of their way to make the world unsafe for LGBTQ people? Do you always encourage people to assume the best of everyone around them even when it has a fairly high likelihood of being unpleasant and non-zero change of being genuinely dangerous for them? True, neighbours may be LGBTQ-friendly and at the school for other reasons. But should OP put her children's safety at risk because MAYBE the neighbours don't believe in their church's tenets? If the neighbours (or you or anyone who doesn't believe the bigoted views of an organization you belong to) don't want OP to shy away from them, it's on them to actually tell her she can be safe around them. So far what she's gotten is basic manners and a statement of affiliation with a non-LGBTQ-friendly church. Mixed messages at best.

[Anonymous]

I highly doubt that the neighbor would let her children play with OP’s and engage in light, friendly conversation with her if she was the religious fanatic OP is perceiving her to be.

[Anonymous]

I hear lots of stories about pedophilia from churches.

Becareful who you trust. And those prolife...more like probirth should remember they are sending millions of American dollars to Israel, a state that gives FREEEEE abortions

[Anonymous]

And is legal over there while here is so so

[Anonymous]

I don't trust people, so many people are fakes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes no sense. How do you know what they believe? I teach at church and my son’s best friend has two moms. It makes literally no difference to us.

What does your church's doctrine say? It's probably on their website. Does it say that they believe marriage is between a man and a woman? I bet it does. So you say you don't believe that, fine. But you align yourself with an organization that does. So until you say otherwise, is it really a huge stretch to think that you believe what the church you choose to go to believes?

Not the PP to whom you're responding, but: It IS really a huge assumption to think someone believes every single tenet of what an organization's written doctrine espouses. OP will never know either way because I figure she won't ever enter a dialogue with these neighbors now.

As some earlier PPs have tried to explain: There are people who attend churches or send their children to church-affiliated schools, who do not necessarily embrace every belief of those churches. But again, OP won't ever know if that's the case because she's chosen instead to assume the worst.

Are you just not aware that one can be part of a church and still disagree with, even work against, specific parts of its creed in which you find profound fault?

I think you are the one who isn’t really listening. It’s not really OP’s job to give every religious person the benefit of the doubt when they belong to a religion that marginalizes her beliefs and her existence.

If you want to be given the benefit of the doubt, and don’t want marginalized groups to distrust you, then don’t join and give your money to organizations that promote hatred and stigmatize of marginalized groups.

OP didn’t do anything wrong. What’s wrong is promoting and giving your money to religious groups that say being gay is sinful and bad. EVEN IF YOU DON’T PERSONALLY BELIEVE THAT, it’s wrong to give your money to such groups and to let them teach those beliefs to your kids. It’s just wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really? A car magnet has sent you off the rails?

It’s not about the magnet. But then, you already knew that.

NP

[Anonymous]

big·ot
/ˈbiɡət/
noun
a person who is obstinately or unreasonably attached to a belief, opinion, or faction, especially one who is prejudiced against or antagonistic toward a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group.


Op- you are a bigot.