South Dakota forcing trans kids to detransition
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Anonymous
Has your kid come out to you as transgender and asked for puberty blockers or HRT? |
Anonymous
Sure. Stay out of my business with my kid. Now we good? |
Anonymous
Thank you taking the time to post this. |
Anonymous
Will you report a parent to CPS if they refuse to consent to such treatment on their child? |
Anonymous
If you see a parent consenting to such a treatment in Texas, will you report them to CPS? |
Anonymous
WTH are you even blathering about? Why are you so concerned about other people and CPS? WORRY ABOUT YOUR KID. Or in your instance, ignore any issues they may have for fear of being “woke.” |
Anonymous
PP with trans son here. No, and my trans son has a friend who was in that boat. I know the mom. She believes the child is trans, but refuses to call them by the name they’ve chosen. Agreed to they/them pronouns as a compromise but won’t use he/him. Uses an initial as a compromise because she won’t use the chosen name. I’m friendly with the mom because our kids are friends. Her reasons for not using the name her child chose are that as the mom, she put a lot of thought into the feminine name she chose for her child* and because the child tried on a different name before settling on this final one and she’s afraid they’ll switch again. She would let them do therapy but no meds. At one point, she was willing to allow top surgery but still no hormones, but we lost touch during Covid and I don’t know what happened. I don’t know her child well enough to know if they were trans. I don’t think I’m qualified to judge. What I do know is that when I met them, I throughly they were a boy, and they seemed happy, but the mom corrected me and the kid seemed crushed. For years, the kid seemed to consistently be a good kid, have good grades, make good choices, hate being called their given name, and present as androgynous to boyish, before puberty and after. What I saw and heard through my son was a kid with growing resentment of their parents for giving in on small things but having to fight so hard to be heard that they were exhausted and sad. I heard a kid biding their time until they could go to college and escape. What I heard from the mom is someone who loved her child, believed her child, but opposed the changes the child wanted because she didn’t want to deal with explaining to other people that her daughter is now her son (she told me that). She was embarrassed that her kid was different (she told me that too). I felt so sad for her, watching her push her kid, a great kid, away from her because she wanted a “normal” kid who didn’t require an explanation. It really felt like a powder keg waiting to blow. I really hope they were able to find some way through it together. *I admit, changing names was hard at first. I get how she feels to an extent. I knew I wanted children when I was young, and I always wanted to use this name. So when we had our first, I picked it because I didn’t know if we’d have another chance. DH didn’t love the name like I did, wasn’t in his top 5 list, but he didn’t veto it (we each had veto power) and let me choose it because I was the one doing the heavy lifting. Then I let him have the final say for our next daughter. So it felt a little like my wishes didn’t matter for either of our kids’ names in the end. And guess what. They don’t. As adults, they can choose whatever they want. If they marry, they can take their partner’s names or not. I learned to approach it with the mindset that I gave them their names as a gift and it’s up to them to do what they want with that gift, including not using it if it didn’t suit them. I raised them to be independent and know themselves well enough to make that choice, and I succeeded, even if they make different choices that I did/would. Especially if they make different choices. |
Anonymous
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Are there any studies or numbers on the suicide rates for trans teenagers? I’ve heard that it’s high, but don’t know specifics.
If there is data, has it changed over the years? |
Anonymous
And no, I didn’t report her and her husband as abusers to the school, the therapist, or CPS. I never even told other parents who asked that I disagreed with her approach or thought she was doing harm to her child. It’s complicated. I’m going to stand in solidarity with parents of trans kids when they try to do the right thing, even if their choices are different than mine. We’re a fairly small group, and it’s hard enough to find support, much less someone who has shared the experience. My approach to parenting a trans child shouldn’t be considered abusive or illegal either. |
Anonymous
It’s high. The main factor isn’t just that they’re trans, it’s that they’re trans and not supported by their family. When families are supportive, the numbers are lower. |
Anonymous
I’m curious about the numbers in the 90’s, and 00’s. I wonder if those numbers have changed. |
Anonymous
You can Google it. I don’t have time. It’s been a steady thing though, lgbtq youth who are accepted have much lower rates of mental illness and death from suicide compared to those whose families are unsupportive, although both are higher than cishet youth. It’s probably something to do with it being acceptable in our society to treat them like deviants and politicians trying to make laws against them. Imagine being a trans youth in SD today. Even if your parents are supportive and helping you get treatment, state law says no, you shouldn’t exist, sorry. So what now? As a parent, I’d use the next year to find a new job and move to a state where treating my child isn’t illegal, but I know that would tear my son up because he’s feel responsible for upending our lives and causing us to move and change jobs. Those politicians feel like it’s more important to keep people closeted than to prevent suicides. |
Anonymous
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NP. There is no way I can believe the Republican Party cares about kids. No way at all. You cannot be the party that enables school shootings and strips children of education and expect me to believe you care at all about kids.
But you also can’t expect me to look around at the current landscape and not see how troubling this is. I believe we are going to look back at some aspects of gender affirmative care with the same horror that we regard lobotomies with, eventually. We will see that profit-based, male-dominated medicine targeted autistic, non-stereotypical, neurodiverse girls for life-altering and often sterilizing interventions. As a neuro-atypical woman, I look around at the language around trans, the enormous sexism in the trans movement, the rank misogyny, and it is horrifying. I don’t know what the answer is. I believe there are indeed trans kids for whom gender affirming care is necessary. I also believe much of what had come to be known as “gender ideology” is horribly misogynist and ableist at its heart. Maybe the answer is to focus on the financial. Right now gender clinics are hugely profitable for medicine. That profit taints decisions. So make the profit riskier. Allow doctors to prescribe blockers but extend the statute of limitations for malpractice claims to twenty years or something long. Remove all caps on malpractice settlement sizes. Enable large awards for kids who are harmed by gender-affirming care. If profits are taken out of this equation, what will happen? |
Anonymous
Also, lgbtq youth who are not accepted by their families become runaways, homeless, and getting involved in dangerous things. So do cishet youth who are not accepted by their families and/or do not accept their families, fwiw. |
Anonymous
Do you live in a bubble and have never ever met a Republican? Or do you just disbelieve them whenever they say something unobjectionable? |