Question for the smart girls who snag the good guys early in life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so dated. Tell your daughters to snag a degree that will enable the life they want.

This^. A solid degree and a stable career serve you better than any guy with perceived or real potential. One in hand is better than two in the air.

It depends on what OP means when she says a “good guy.” If you do want to get married, it’s very hard to have the kind of life you want if your partner is a loser, regardless of what job you yourself have. A good guy is emotionally supportive, loves you in good times and bad, shares your goals, supports your individuality, etc. And I don’t think that how to find a genuinely good guy is general knowledge, especially for ambitious women who have been taught to put dating on the backburner. So OP actually asks a good question.

Isn't it too late for OP? She should ask about how smart women in their 30's snag successful guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of my work, I collaborate with a lot of Gen Z guys who are/will become rich. As in, they start a business flat broke and make half a million dollars within six months. A lot of them do want to marry young, and I can tell you EXACTLY what they want:

- Absolutely no gold diggers. They expect a woman they marry to make good money and have her own goals.

- They approach it like a business partnership and look for who will advance their own goals the most.

- Zero interest in “hot” girls because they don’t want women who are gold diggers or materialistic because it’s a waste of money. They prefer a woman who is a 4-5, rather than a 10 who was fake eyelashes and designer clothes.

- But, they all date the 10 for a year or two before dumping her for a suitable wife.

- A lot of them go to church and marry women from their church.

- Zero time for anything like insecurity. If, say, a woman expresses she feels insecure about her looks, they bail because they don’t want to waste time on that.

It all sounds good in theory, but a lot have unrealistic expectations. Sort of like, they think their wife will be a full time housewife while also helping to run their business and owning a business of her own doing something like raising alpacas for wool.

I would say men like this are not one of “the good guys.” I know this type and they aren’t terrible human beings but you can see how they don’t really treat women all that well. They just want to take what they can and give as little as they can get away with. They aren’t very interested in who their SO is, just what they offer.

PP. For sure, I don’t think these guys are “good guys”.

But on the flip side, I don’t think females who target men for their earning potential are good, either. If you want money, make your own.

Basically my point is that it’s not enough to just be pretty anymore. You have to bring more to the table with these guys, they aren’t impressed by makeup or a nice body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because of my work, I collaborate with a lot of Gen Z guys who are/will become rich. As in, they start a business flat broke and make half a million dollars within six months. A lot of them do want to marry young, and I can tell you EXACTLY what they want:

- Absolutely no gold diggers. They expect a woman they marry to make good money and have her own goals.

- They approach it like a business partnership and look for who will advance their own goals the most.

- Zero interest in “hot” girls because they don’t want women who are gold diggers or materialistic because it’s a waste of money. They prefer a woman who is a 4-5, rather than a 10 who was fake eyelashes and designer clothes.

- But, they all date the 10 for a year or two before dumping her for a suitable wife.

- A lot of them go to church and marry women from their church.

- Zero time for anything like insecurity. If, say, a woman expresses she feels insecure about her looks, they bail because they don’t want to waste time on that.

It all sounds good in theory, but a lot have unrealistic expectations. Sort of like, they think their wife will be a full time housewife while also helping to run their business and owning a business of her own doing something like raising alpacas for wool.

What do these guys do, if they go from zero to half a million salary in 6 months ? Sell opioids? Logically and based on economic principles, you can't do it without a significant starting capital. Not even if you are an MIT graduate.

I've seen people make this sort of money on airbnbs, auto rentals, selling apps but they didn't achieve it in 6 months. More of a 5 years perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so dated. Tell your daughters to snag a degree that will enable the life they want.

This^. A solid degree and a stable career serve you better than any guy with perceived or real potential. One in hand is better than two in the air.

You can have both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We teach women they don't need to even start getting serious about men until their early 30s. By then, a single 32-year-old man is looking for a woman in her 20s.

We can mock the women who settled down in their early 20s as not being modern, ambitious, independent, motivated, or smart. Women are told that making marriage a priority in her 20s makes her a loser.

Then she gets into her 30s and says "I'm ready to settle down" and she can't find anyone.

A woman who makes marriage a priority at age 23 is sort of a rebel today. Seriously. She is going against the grain of her peers, bucking the message society keeps sending her and doing the opposite.



Maybe it's the message sets sending you?

Interesting. I married my husband at 23. He had a master's in statistics. I was a nanny with a high school diploma. I knew I wanted to be a SAHM. Ten years later, we have two kids, and I work part-time. I met a lot of moms in my 7+ years as a nanny and the majority of them wanted to be a sahm or work part-time, but for whatever reason, they couldn't. I saw firsthand how hard it was gor them to balance work and kids. Even the SAHM, with hired help were stressed. I knew I didn't have a high-income potential, so I chose someone with a STEM degree. Some of my friends tried to hide it, but I knew they thought I was marrying too young. Guess which ones are almost 40 and unmarried? Having the man be the plan has worked out for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of my work, I collaborate with a lot of Gen Z guys who are/will become rich. As in, they start a business flat broke and make half a million dollars within six months. A lot of them do want to marry young, and I can tell you EXACTLY what they want:

- Absolutely no gold diggers. They expect a woman they marry to make good money and have her own goals.

- They approach it like a business partnership and look for who will advance their own goals the most.

- Zero interest in “hot” girls because they don’t want women who are gold diggers or materialistic because it’s a waste of money. They prefer a woman who is a 4-5, rather than a 10 who was fake eyelashes and designer clothes.

- But, they all date the 10 for a year or two before dumping her for a suitable wife.

- A lot of them go to church and marry women from their church.

- Zero time for anything like insecurity. If, say, a woman expresses she feels insecure about her looks, they bail because they don’t want to waste time on that.

It all sounds good in theory, but a lot have unrealistic expectations. Sort of like, they think their wife will be a full time housewife while also helping to run their business and owning a business of her own doing something like raising alpacas for wool.

A lot of them go to church? Gen z generally isn’t churchgoers, especially entrepreneurs.

Do you work in venture capital in Utah?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In reference to the other thread where it was concluded that the good guys with the potential to make good money are always paired up very early in life- in college or before. This makes me feel major FOMO because in high school and college, I had 0 idea what a “marriage material” guy was and how to identify them. But I had a roomate, I recall, who had been dating her engineer bf since hs. They were monogamous throughout college and he went to an Ivy League across the country. They already had it all mapped out. What jobs they were going to do; how many kids they would have.

How did she know so early what’s a good guy? And how to keep him?

I was so clueless and only now in my thirties am remembering the things she said about marriage and husbands.

Who teaches these girls? How they know? What do they know?

The bolded is pure bs. Who came up with that? The most desirable men I knew waited to settle until their 30s.

Couples who marry young are much more likely to divorce.

“The odds of divorce decline as you age from your teenage years through your late twenties and early thirties. Thereafter, the chances of divorce go up again as you move into your late thirties and early forties (all NSFG respondents are under 45). This is a marked departure from the way things used to be, when the relationship was relatively linear: the older you are when you first marry, the lower the odds of divorce. Period.”

Institute for Family Studies, research by Wolfinger 2015.

What bs. No one intelligent would be spouting a thing this extreme right wing propaganda group touts, The "Institute for Family Studies" is a joke. This is an extreme right wing propaganda group who promote early marriage. Any data from them is beyond suspect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We teach women they don't need to even start getting serious about men until their early 30s. By then, a single 32-year-old man is looking for a woman in her 20s.

We can mock the women who settled down in their early 20s as not being modern, ambitious, independent, motivated, or smart. Women are told that making marriage a priority in her 20s makes her a loser.

Then she gets into her 30s and says "I'm ready to settle down" and she can't find anyone.

A woman who makes marriage a priority at age 23 is sort of a rebel today. Seriously. She is going against the grain of her peers, bucking the message society keeps sending her and doing the opposite.



Maybe it's the message sets sending you?

Interesting. I married my husband at 23. He had a master's in statistics. I was a nanny with a high school diploma. I knew I wanted to be a SAHM. Ten years later, we have two kids, and I work part-time. I met a lot of moms in my 7+ years as a nanny and the majority of them wanted to be a sahm or work part-time, but for whatever reason, they couldn't. I saw firsthand how hard it was gor them to balance work and kids. Even the SAHM, with hired help were stressed. I knew I didn't have a high-income potential, so I chose someone with a STEM degree. Some of my friends tried to hide it, but I knew they thought I was marrying too young. Guess which ones are almost 40 and unmarried? Having the man be the plan has worked out for me.

What do you do part time?

[Anonymous]

We will be seeing more of these ridiculous posts as the GQP are going to be pushing for more early marriage. This is part of their platform. It's like stepping right back in to 1950. Clever op, so clever.

[Anonymous]

Your premise makes no sense. Good guys are not taken early life. Men are 22 when they graduate college. My DH was 37 when we got married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We teach women they don't need to even start getting serious about men until their early 30s. By then, a single 32-year-old man is looking for a woman in her 20s.

We can mock the women who settled down in their early 20s as not being modern, ambitious, independent, motivated, or smart. Women are told that making marriage a priority in her 20s makes her a loser.

Then she gets into her 30s and says "I'm ready to settle down" and she can't find anyone.

A woman who makes marriage a priority at age 23 is sort of a rebel today. Seriously. She is going against the grain of her peers, bucking the message society keeps sending her and doing the opposite.



Maybe it's the message sets sending you?

Interesting. I married my husband at 23. He had a master's in statistics. I was a nanny with a high school diploma. I knew I wanted to be a SAHM. Ten years later, we have two kids, and I work part-time. I met a lot of moms in my 7+ years as a nanny and the majority of them wanted to be a sahm or work part-time, but for whatever reason, they couldn't. I saw firsthand how hard it was gor them to balance work and kids. Even the SAHM, with hired help were stressed. I knew I didn't have a high-income potential, so I chose someone with a STEM degree. Some of my friends tried to hide it, but I knew they thought I was marrying too young. Guess which ones are almost 40 and unmarried? Having the man be the plan has worked out for me.

What do you do part time?

My cohort of college educated, professional women had no problems finding husbands except for a few with serious problems and black women. I don't know if the latter is still true. Everything about this conversation can be invalid for other races or even ethnic groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We teach women they don't need to even start getting serious about men until their early 30s. By then, a single 32-year-old man is looking for a woman in her 20s.

We can mock the women who settled down in their early 20s as not being modern, ambitious, independent, motivated, or smart. Women are told that making marriage a priority in her 20s makes her a loser.

Then she gets into her 30s and says "I'm ready to settle down" and she can't find anyone.

A woman who makes marriage a priority at age 23 is sort of a rebel today. Seriously. She is going against the grain of her peers, bucking the message society keeps sending her and doing the opposite.



Maybe it's the message sets sending you?

Interesting. I married my husband at 23. He had a master's in statistics. I was a nanny with a high school diploma. I knew I wanted to be a SAHM. Ten years later, we have two kids, and I work part-time. I met a lot of moms in my 7+ years as a nanny and the majority of them wanted to be a sahm or work part-time, but for whatever reason, they couldn't. I saw firsthand how hard it was gor them to balance work and kids. Even the SAHM, with hired help were stressed. I knew I didn't have a high-income potential, so I chose someone with a STEM degree. Some of my friends tried to hide it, but I knew they thought I was marrying too young. Guess which ones are almost 40 and unmarried? Having the man be the plan has worked out for me.

What do you do part time?

My cohort of college educated, professional women had no problems finding husbands except for a few with serious problems and black women. I don't know if the latter is still true. Everything about this conversation can be invalid for other races or even ethnic groups.

I meant to add they had no problem finding husbands in their 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We teach women they don't need to even start getting serious about men until their early 30s. By then, a single 32-year-old man is looking for a woman in her 20s.

We can mock the women who settled down in their early 20s as not being modern, ambitious, independent, motivated, or smart. Women are told that making marriage a priority in her 20s makes her a loser.

Then she gets into her 30s and says "I'm ready to settle down" and she can't find anyone.

A woman who makes marriage a priority at age 23 is sort of a rebel today. Seriously. She is going against the grain of her peers, bucking the message society keeps sending her and doing the opposite.



Maybe it's the message sets sending you?

Wow that is so smart. So unambitious girls should prioritize marrying guys they know will make money. Such as STEM, finance and law.

Interesting. I married my husband at 23. He had a master's in statistics. I was a nanny with a high school diploma. I knew I wanted to be a SAHM. Ten years later, we have two kids, and I work part-time. I met a lot of moms in my 7+ years as a nanny and the majority of them wanted to be a sahm or work part-time, but for whatever reason, they couldn't. I saw firsthand how hard it was gor them to balance work and kids. Even the SAHM, with hired help were stressed. I knew I didn't have a high-income potential, so I chose someone with a STEM degree. Some of my friends tried to hide it, but I knew they thought I was marrying too young. Guess which ones are almost 40 and unmarried? Having the man be the plan has worked out for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your premise makes no sense. Good guys are not taken early life. Men are 22 when they graduate college. My DH was 37 when we got married.

Suit yourself but for me, definitionally, that wouldn’t be a good guy. By the time he was 37, my DH already had 3 kids with me, a beautiful home, had just made partner. A 37 yr old who just got married is a big red flag for a chronic time waster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your premise makes no sense. Good guys are not taken early life. Men are 22 when they graduate college. My DH was 37 when we got married.

Same and I had several other guys to choose from. The smart guys don't jump to marry early.