Have you ever backed out of a multi-family trip last-minute?

[Anonymous]

Obviously you made your decision already OP, but I think that you basically worked yourself up over this trip and talked yourself out of it when you would have had a great time. No one likes packing and traveling and the stress of work pre-vacation, but you have to just push through if you want to have a good time on vacation. I'm 100% sure that if you would have actually gone it would have been a great trip and you would have come back refreshed and happy after spending so much time with your good friends.

I mean after all what is it all for? You have been working hard all year, killing yourself and for what? One of the few times you had this year for fun you just backed out and didn't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people here behaving like OP is committing a federal crime sound like lunatics. I am glad I don’t know anyone like that IRL. If one of my dear friends told me that she was completely frazzled and needed to recuperate I would be disappointed but understand her need. I would certainly not come down on her like a ton of bricks.
Be better.

You have no idea if you know anyone like this IRL. I'm one of the people disappointed in OP, and I wouldn't tell her or you this IRL. I'd smile and say "no problem" while recategorizing her as someone who knowingly overbooked her summer and when it came time to cut something, we were at the top of the list. I'm sorry, that's just how I would feel. You don't get to tell me my feelings are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people here behaving like OP is committing a federal crime sound like lunatics. I am glad I don’t know anyone like that IRL. If one of my dear friends told me that she was completely frazzled and needed to recuperate I would be disappointed but understand her need. I would certainly not come down on her like a ton of bricks.
Be better.

You have no idea if you know anyone like this IRL. I'm one of the people disappointed in OP, and I wouldn't tell her or you this IRL. I'd smile and say "no problem" while recategorizing her as someone who knowingly overbooked her summer and when it came time to cut something, we were at the top of the list. I'm sorry, that's just how I would feel. You don't get to tell me my feelings are wrong.

So you’re just vindictive and petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people here behaving like OP is committing a federal crime sound like lunatics. I am glad I don’t know anyone like that IRL. If one of my dear friends told me that she was completely frazzled and needed to recuperate I would be disappointed but understand her need. I would certainly not come down on her like a ton of bricks.
Be better.

You have no idea if you know anyone like this IRL. I'm one of the people disappointed in OP, and I wouldn't tell her or you this IRL. I'd smile and say "no problem" while recategorizing her as someone who knowingly overbooked her summer and when it came time to cut something, we were at the top of the list. I'm sorry, that's just how I would feel. You don't get to tell me my feelings are wrong.

So you’re just vindictive and petty.

No. I just don't like feeling like someone's lowest priority. If that doesn't bother you, good for you. Again, my feelings are mine. You don't get to say what they should or should not be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people here behaving like OP is committing a federal crime sound like lunatics. I am glad I don’t know anyone like that IRL. If one of my dear friends told me that she was completely frazzled and needed to recuperate I would be disappointed but understand her need. I would certainly not come down on her like a ton of bricks.
Be better.

You have no idea if you know anyone like this IRL. I'm one of the people disappointed in OP, and I wouldn't tell her or you this IRL. I'd smile and say "no problem" while recategorizing her as someone who knowingly overbooked her summer and when it came time to cut something, we were at the top of the list. I'm sorry, that's just how I would feel. You don't get to tell me my feelings are wrong.

So you’re just vindictive and petty.

No. I just don't like feeling like someone's lowest priority. If that doesn't bother you, good for you. Again, my feelings are mine. You don't get to say what they should or should not be.

NP -- It must be very hard going through life thinking that everything is about you. I mean that quite sincerely. Have you tried to use empathy and imagination?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP just tell them the truth. Lying is so childish. Based on your reasons for wanting to back out, if I were your family I would 100% get it and not be upset. I would probably miss you guys, but I wouldn't be mad.

She didn't lie. Reading comprehension is so important.

I was referring to the other responders who were telling her to say she had COVID. Your reading comprehension is also so important.

You were telling OP to tell the truth when she had already talked to her friends and been honest with them. You either didn't catch that or just wanted to give unnecessary advice.

[Anonymous]

You need to say work. Can’t leave right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don’t have friends that close and would be petrified of backing out and never receiving an invite again. My husband couldn’t make a couple gatherings once my female friend group expanded to include partners, and we ended up frozen out.

I'm so sorry -- that must be hard. I hope you find kinder friends to hang out with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people here behaving like OP is committing a federal crime sound like lunatics. I am glad I don’t know anyone like that IRL. If one of my dear friends told me that she was completely frazzled and needed to recuperate I would be disappointed but understand her need. I would certainly not come down on her like a ton of bricks.
Be better.

You have no idea if you know anyone like this IRL. I'm one of the people disappointed in OP, and I wouldn't tell her or you this IRL. I'd smile and say "no problem" while recategorizing her as someone who knowingly overbooked her summer and when it came time to cut something, we were at the top of the list. I'm sorry, that's just how I would feel. You don't get to tell me my feelings are wrong.

So you’re just vindictive and petty.

No. I just don't like feeling like someone's lowest priority. If that doesn't bother you, good for you. Again, my feelings are mine. You don't get to say what they should or should not be.

NP -- It must be very hard going through life thinking that everything is about you. I mean that quite sincerely. Have you tried to use empathy and imagination?

OP had numerous things she could have eliminated to simply her summer and/or give herself a break. She chose this particular trip to cut. I'm simply stating a fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people here behaving like OP is committing a federal crime sound like lunatics. I am glad I don’t know anyone like that IRL. If one of my dear friends told me that she was completely frazzled and needed to recuperate I would be disappointed but understand her need. I would certainly not come down on her like a ton of bricks.
Be better.

You have no idea if you know anyone like this IRL. I'm one of the people disappointed in OP, and I wouldn't tell her or you this IRL. I'd smile and say "no problem" while recategorizing her as someone who knowingly overbooked her summer and when it came time to cut something, we were at the top of the list. I'm sorry, that's just how I would feel. You don't get to tell me my feelings are wrong.

So you’re just vindictive and petty.

No. I just don't like feeling like someone's lowest priority. If that doesn't bother you, good for you. Again, my feelings are mine. You don't get to say what they should or should not be.

NP -- It must be very hard going through life thinking that everything is about you. I mean that quite sincerely. Have you tried to use empathy and imagination?

OP had numerous things she could have eliminated to simply her summer and/or give herself a break. She chose this particular trip to cut. I'm simply stating a fact.

DP. Real question: what should she have cut in order to prioritize a weekend away with neighbors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people here behaving like OP is committing a federal crime sound like lunatics. I am glad I don’t know anyone like that IRL. If one of my dear friends told me that she was completely frazzled and needed to recuperate I would be disappointed but understand her need. I would certainly not come down on her like a ton of bricks.
Be better.

You have no idea if you know anyone like this IRL. I'm one of the people disappointed in OP, and I wouldn't tell her or you this IRL. I'd smile and say "no problem" while recategorizing her as someone who knowingly overbooked her summer and when it came time to cut something, we were at the top of the list. I'm sorry, that's just how I would feel. You don't get to tell me my feelings are wrong.

So you’re just vindictive and petty.

No. I just don't like feeling like someone's lowest priority. If that doesn't bother you, good for you. Again, my feelings are mine. You don't get to say what they should or should not be.

Such a whiny baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people here behaving like OP is committing a federal crime sound like lunatics. I am glad I don’t know anyone like that IRL. If one of my dear friends told me that she was completely frazzled and needed to recuperate I would be disappointed but understand her need. I would certainly not come down on her like a ton of bricks.
Be better.

You have no idea if you know anyone like this IRL. I'm one of the people disappointed in OP, and I wouldn't tell her or you this IRL. I'd smile and say "no problem" while recategorizing her as someone who knowingly overbooked her summer and when it came time to cut something, we were at the top of the list. I'm sorry, that's just how I would feel. You don't get to tell me my feelings are wrong.

So you’re just vindictive and petty.

No. I just don't like feeling like someone's lowest priority. If that doesn't bother you, good for you. Again, my feelings are mine. You don't get to say what they should or should not be.

NP -- It must be very hard going through life thinking that everything is about you. I mean that quite sincerely. Have you tried to use empathy and imagination?

OP had numerous things she could have eliminated to simply her summer and/or give herself a break. She chose this particular trip to cut. I'm simply stating a fact.

DP. Real question: what should she have cut in order to prioritize a weekend away with neighbors?

She should have planned better in the first place. Look, we could go round and round like this all day. I'm not convincing you, you're not convincing me. OP has made her choice, which is obviously hers to make. She asked for opinions, we all gave them. We don't have to agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people here behaving like OP is committing a federal crime sound like lunatics. I am glad I don’t know anyone like that IRL. If one of my dear friends told me that she was completely frazzled and needed to recuperate I would be disappointed but understand her need. I would certainly not come down on her like a ton of bricks.
Be better.

You have no idea if you know anyone like this IRL. I'm one of the people disappointed in OP, and I wouldn't tell her or you this IRL. I'd smile and say "no problem" while recategorizing her as someone who knowingly overbooked her summer and when it came time to cut something, we were at the top of the list. I'm sorry, that's just how I would feel. You don't get to tell me my feelings are wrong.

So you’re just vindictive and petty.

No. I just don't like feeling like someone's lowest priority. If that doesn't bother you, good for you. Again, my feelings are mine. You don't get to say what they should or should not be.

NP -- It must be very hard going through life thinking that everything is about you. I mean that quite sincerely. Have you tried to use empathy and imagination?

OP had numerous things she could have eliminated to simply her summer and/or give herself a break. She chose this particular trip to cut. I'm simply stating a fact.

Yeah she should’ve still gone while being stressed and exhausted and haggard, that’s definitely a ton of fun for the other families

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people here behaving like OP is committing a federal crime sound like lunatics. I am glad I don’t know anyone like that IRL. If one of my dear friends told me that she was completely frazzled and needed to recuperate I would be disappointed but understand her need. I would certainly not come down on her like a ton of bricks.
Be better.

You have no idea if you know anyone like this IRL. I'm one of the people disappointed in OP, and I wouldn't tell her or you this IRL. I'd smile and say "no problem" while recategorizing her as someone who knowingly overbooked her summer and when it came time to cut something, we were at the top of the list. I'm sorry, that's just how I would feel. You don't get to tell me my feelings are wrong.

So you’re just vindictive and petty.

No. I just don't like feeling like someone's lowest priority. If that doesn't bother you, good for you. Again, my feelings are mine. You don't get to say what they should or should not be.

NP -- It must be very hard going through life thinking that everything is about you. I mean that quite sincerely. Have you tried to use empathy and imagination?

OP had numerous things she could have eliminated to simply her summer and/or give herself a break. She chose this particular trip to cut. I'm simply stating a fact.

Yeah she should’ve still gone while being stressed and exhausted and haggard, that’s definitely a ton of fun for the other families

+1 the most important thing is that OP’s friends feel they are everyone’s #1 priority regardless of how it affects OP’s well-being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people here behaving like OP is committing a federal crime sound like lunatics. I am glad I don’t know anyone like that IRL. If one of my dear friends told me that she was completely frazzled and needed to recuperate I would be disappointed but understand her need. I would certainly not come down on her like a ton of bricks.
Be better.

You have no idea if you know anyone like this IRL. I'm one of the people disappointed in OP, and I wouldn't tell her or you this IRL. I'd smile and say "no problem" while recategorizing her as someone who knowingly overbooked her summer and when it came time to cut something, we were at the top of the list. I'm sorry, that's just how I would feel. You don't get to tell me my feelings are wrong.

So you’re just vindictive and petty.

No. I just don't like feeling like someone's lowest priority. If that doesn't bother you, good for you. Again, my feelings are mine. You don't get to say what they should or should not be.

NP -- It must be very hard going through life thinking that everything is about you. I mean that quite sincerely. Have you tried to use empathy and imagination?

OP had numerous things she could have eliminated to simply her summer and/or give herself a break. She chose this particular trip to cut. I'm simply stating a fact.

I am the OP. I went back and forth over what I could not do. Back out of a work project? Not doable. Not go on vacation with my rather stressful extended family? Not a choice. Not send my kid to camp? It's nonrefundable. I'm just a person doing their best. I hope you give your friends grace