Are we the Aholes?

[Anonymous]

Are we forgetting that OP's husband is the one who actually feels this way as well? And he was called and a hole by his brother. And the brother doesn't seem too keen on coming up with any type of compromise, so I wonder if there's some family history there...... And this really is not about a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt Niece just developed a deadly dog allergy. Its either mild or nonexistent. If it is deadly the IL would probably be more forceful about the dog not visiting.

Allergies evolve, and can worsen rapidly, particularly in childhood. Late elementary is the typical age for allergies to appear then get worse. Last year, my 11 year old DD was not allergic to spring pollen. This year, I made the mistake of leaving her window open last night, and she needed steroid medication today!!!

So SHUT UP if you're so ignorant.

That doesn't sound like the case here, rude one. Nobody cares about your DD, start your own thread.

OP knows nothing of her niece's allergies, and will of course present the matter to her advantage. Other posters and myself have explained what can happen with allergies so that people can understand that they can get bad rapidly and without warning. And THAT, moron, can absolutely become the case here, the next time this girl is in contact with a dog.

So go away. You don't know what you're talking about, and it shows.

I have dog and cat allergies, moron. I don't need your feeble explanation of what this is about or how it works. You know nothing about the niece's allergies but suddenly you are the family spokesperson? You are grasping at straws and making shit up because you hate dogs. How sad.

You posted already, and showed yourself to be incredibly self-centered. Just because you're medicating yourself, doesn't mean you can force others to do the same. I am a dog owner. I do not bring my dog to such gatherings.

Um, there are several people posting about their allergies. Are you brand new here? OP offered to not bring the dog, ILs got mad. Feel free to read the OP instead of making up your own story as you go. You didn't read it the first time and it shows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Truly, that is the worse of those pandemic dog owners.

They got a pet, and didn't think it through.

What exactly did you think would happen to the next 10 years of your life, OP? That you'd never go anywhere? That people would magically welcome your pooch with open arms?

I mean, it's hilarious.

Oh FFS, that's not what OP has said.

Then get a sitter.

Maybe BIL can help split the cost if he so desperately wants to see OP and her family more often without the dog. Win/win.

Good idea. It would be really nice of him. But I'm not sure I would be ready to defray OP's refusal to pay for dog-ownership. She has the dog, she pays for the sitter, or she stays home and splits the family. If you can't afford a dog, don't get a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Truly, that is the worse of those pandemic dog owners.

They got a pet, and didn't think it through.

What exactly did you think would happen to the next 10 years of your life, OP? That you'd never go anywhere? That people would magically welcome your pooch with open arms?

I mean, it's hilarious.

Op said she boards the dogs for events but doesn't want to at the frequency BIL wants. Op said her family is fine not going. No whining but we're called Aholes.
I would be mad if my brother-in-law and inlaws asked to see me once a month even if there was no issue why I couldn't. The fact that she's even considering it she deserves a medal.

You can stop spinning this, PP or OP in disguise. OP clearly is in a huff because she doesn't want to pay for a sitter that frequently, when it's the norm around here. She's the idiot for not thinking of the ramifications of owning a dog. Her family cannot see her as often as they'd like, and it's all because OP won't get a sitter.

Sorry, but she takes the blame.

I used talk to text And it was supposed to be were not we're. So that is my fault for the confusion. Not OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Truly, that is the worse of those pandemic dog owners.

They got a pet, and didn't think it through.

What exactly did you think would happen to the next 10 years of your life, OP? That you'd never go anywhere? That people would magically welcome your pooch with open arms?

I mean, it's hilarious.

Oh FFS, that's not what OP has said.

Then get a sitter.

Maybe BIL can help split the cost if he so desperately wants to see OP and her family more often without the dog. Win/win.

Good idea. It would be really nice of him. But I'm not sure I would be ready to defray OP's refusal to pay for dog-ownership. She has the dog, she pays for the sitter, or she stays home and splits the family. If you can't afford a dog, don't get a dog.

Then you can also say you can understand when the family can't make it and not get upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Truly, that is the worse of those pandemic dog owners.

They got a pet, and didn't think it through.

What exactly did you think would happen to the next 10 years of your life, OP? That you'd never go anywhere? That people would magically welcome your pooch with open arms?

I mean, it's hilarious.

Oh FFS, that's not what OP has said.

Then get a sitter.

Maybe BIL can help split the cost if he so desperately wants to see OP and her family more often without the dog. Win/win.

Good idea. It would be really nice of him. But I'm not sure I would be ready to defray OP's refusal to pay for dog-ownership. She has the dog, she pays for the sitter, or she stays home and splits the family. If you can't afford a dog, don't get a dog.

Then you can also say you can understand when the family can't make it and not get upset.

THIS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt Niece just developed a deadly dog allergy. Its either mild or nonexistent. If it is deadly the IL would probably be more forceful about the dog not visiting.

Allergies evolve, and can worsen rapidly, particularly in childhood. Late elementary is the typical age for allergies to appear then get worse. Last year, my 11 year old DD was not allergic to spring pollen. This year, I made the mistake of leaving her window open last night, and she needed steroid medication today!!!

So SHUT UP if you're so ignorant.

That doesn't sound like the case here, rude one. Nobody cares about your DD, start your own thread.

OP knows nothing of her niece's allergies, and will of course present the matter to her advantage. Other posters and myself have explained what can happen with allergies so that people can understand that they can get bad rapidly and without warning. And THAT, moron, can absolutely become the case here, the next time this girl is in contact with a dog.

So go away. You don't know what you're talking about, and it shows.

NP. OP said they just weren't going to visit as much. That's fine. They are allowed to decline. YOU don't know what you are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think BIL is being an A-hole for asking - he's acting like a responsible parent. If I were him, I'd think you were an a-hole for putting your dog over my kid.

I wouldn't want to board my dog every month either, but I think getting someone to come over and take him out once during the day is fine.

You can't leave a dog at home alone at night. Most can't handle it - it's cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt Niece just developed a deadly dog allergy. Its either mild or nonexistent. If it is deadly the IL would probably be more forceful about the dog not visiting.

Allergies evolve, and can worsen rapidly, particularly in childhood. Late elementary is the typical age for allergies to appear then get worse. Last year, my 11 year old DD was not allergic to spring pollen. This year, I made the mistake of leaving her window open last night, and she needed steroid medication today!!!

So SHUT UP if you're so ignorant.

That doesn't sound like the case here, rude one. Nobody cares about your DD, start your own thread.

OP knows nothing of her niece's allergies, and will of course present the matter to her advantage. Other posters and myself have explained what can happen with allergies so that people can understand that they can get bad rapidly and without warning. And THAT, moron, can absolutely become the case here, the next time this girl is in contact with a dog.

So go away. You don't know what you're talking about, and it shows.

I have dog and cat allergies, moron. I don't need your feeble explanation of what this is about or how it works. You know nothing about the niece's allergies but suddenly you are the family spokesperson? You are grasping at straws and making shit up because you hate dogs. How sad.

You posted already, and showed yourself to be incredibly self-centered. Just because you're medicating yourself, doesn't mean you can force others to do the same. I am a dog owner. I do not bring my dog to such gatherings.

Um, there are several people posting about their allergies. Are you brand new here? OP offered to not bring the dog, ILs got mad. Feel free to read the OP instead of making up your own story as you go. You didn't read it the first time and it shows.

One of us can't read and it's not me.

It's simple. Humans before pets. OP should get care for the dog, or be willing to accept that her family misses her and resents her decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Truly, that is the worse of those pandemic dog owners.

They got a pet, and didn't think it through.

What exactly did you think would happen to the next 10 years of your life, OP? That you'd never go anywhere? That people would magically welcome your pooch with open arms?

I mean, it's hilarious.

Op said she boards the dogs for events but doesn't want to at the frequency BIL wants. Op said her family is fine not going. No whining but we're called Aholes.
I would be mad if my brother-in-law and inlaws asked to see me once a month even if there was no issue why I couldn't. The fact that she's even considering it she deserves a medal.

You can stop spinning this, PP or OP in disguise. OP clearly is in a huff because she doesn't want to pay for a sitter that frequently, when it's the norm around here. She's the idiot for not thinking of the ramifications of owning a dog. Her family cannot see her as often as they'd like, and it's all because OP won't get a sitter.

Sorry, but she takes the blame.

NP - you sound like a control freak. People are allowed to live their lives the way they want. I have dogs and kids. I do not get a dog sitter several times a month - it's not the "norm around here."

[Anonymous]

Yes OP, you are the aholes. You get a dog sitter when you travel, some people are allergic to dogs. We don't want your dog on our lap while we are trying to eat, and most of your fellow travelers don't want a dog at the hotel either. Your niece also deserves to eat with family.

Don't you have a neighborhood teen who is willing to be paid to walk and feed your dog for one night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt Niece just developed a deadly dog allergy. Its either mild or nonexistent. If it is deadly the IL would probably be more forceful about the dog not visiting.

Allergies evolve, and can worsen rapidly, particularly in childhood. Late elementary is the typical age for allergies to appear then get worse. Last year, my 11 year old DD was not allergic to spring pollen. This year, I made the mistake of leaving her window open last night, and she needed steroid medication today!!!

So SHUT UP if you're so ignorant.

That doesn't sound like the case here, rude one. Nobody cares about your DD, start your own thread.

OP knows nothing of her niece's allergies, and will of course present the matter to her advantage. Other posters and myself have explained what can happen with allergies so that people can understand that they can get bad rapidly and without warning. And THAT, moron, can absolutely become the case here, the next time this girl is in contact with a dog.

So go away. You don't know what you're talking about, and it shows.

I have dog and cat allergies, moron. I don't need your feeble explanation of what this is about or how it works. You know nothing about the niece's allergies but suddenly you are the family spokesperson? You are grasping at straws and making shit up because you hate dogs. How sad.

You posted already, and showed yourself to be incredibly self-centered. Just because you're medicating yourself, doesn't mean you can force others to do the same. I am a dog owner. I do not bring my dog to such gatherings.

Um, there are several people posting about their allergies. Are you brand new here? OP offered to not bring the dog, ILs got mad. Feel free to read the OP instead of making up your own story as you go. You didn't read it the first time and it shows.

One of us can't read and it's not me.

It's simple. Humans before pets. OP should get care for the dog, or be willing to accept that her family misses her and resents her decision.

Hey illiterate troll, try reading the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Truly, that is the worse of those pandemic dog owners.

They got a pet, and didn't think it through.

What exactly did you think would happen to the next 10 years of your life, OP? That you'd never go anywhere? That people would magically welcome your pooch with open arms?

I mean, it's hilarious.

Op said she boards the dogs for events but doesn't want to at the frequency BIL wants. Op said her family is fine not going. No whining but we're called Aholes.
I would be mad if my brother-in-law and inlaws asked to see me once a month even if there was no issue why I couldn't. The fact that she's even considering it she deserves a medal.

You can stop spinning this, PP or OP in disguise. OP clearly is in a huff because she doesn't want to pay for a sitter that frequently, when it's the norm around here. She's the idiot for not thinking of the ramifications of owning a dog. Her family cannot see her as often as they'd like, and it's all because OP won't get a sitter.

Sorry, but she takes the blame.

NP - you sound like a control freak. People are allowed to live their lives the way they want. I have dogs and kids. I do not get a dog sitter several times a month - it's not the "norm around here."

Actually, it is. One of my friends dog sits as her career in the DC area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is pretty rude to take a dog to a cookout when someone has asked you not to do that.

And rude not to go because of this. For family. Give a high schooler $20 to check in and walk the dog.

A dog is part of a family. You get that right? People take them to brunch for effs sake. Some people like animals. others don't. But don't get made when someone says they aren't coming because you don't like their dog.

My cat is 100% part of my family and I don't take him to brunch or people's BBQs or whatever.

A dog can be a family member but he is not a human. And some people are very afraid of dogs or allergic. The expectation that others will treat your dog like a human child is unreasonable.

Also, I have no idea why it's not okay to leave the dog at home for a day, but it is okay to have the dog spend the whole day riding in the car and spending time around people who don't like dogs. Why do that to your family, why do it to your dog? This is literally why petsitter exist. Who gets a pet and assumes they will be welcome every single place you might go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Truly, that is the worse of those pandemic dog owners.

They got a pet, and didn't think it through.

What exactly did you think would happen to the next 10 years of your life, OP? That you'd never go anywhere? That people would magically welcome your pooch with open arms?

I mean, it's hilarious.

Oh FFS, that's not what OP has said.

Then get a sitter.

Maybe BIL can help split the cost if he so desperately wants to see OP and her family more often without the dog. Win/win.

Good idea. It would be really nice of him. But I'm not sure I would be ready to defray OP's refusal to pay for dog-ownership. She has the dog, she pays for the sitter, or she stays home and splits the family. If you can't afford a dog, don't get a dog.

When she bought the dog and budgeted for the dog, she did not take into account BIL’s inappropriate request. Why should she pay for dog boarding when the host loves the dog and has a large property to accommodate it? And why is the BIL insisting they come over without dog instead of letting them stay home? He is calling the shots and he is neither homeowner nor patriarch.