People keep spelling and pronouncing my name wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Literally half of my husband’s family pronounces my daughter’s name incorrectly. She’s 20.

I have two Andreas - one is ANDrea and the other is Ahndrea. It can be hard.

Wait! What do you mean you "have" two Andreas--like two daughters names Andrea with the two different pronounciations?!?!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m a Sara in a world of Sarah’s. I hated it as a kid but I don’t care one way or the other anymore. Sometimes people will ask which is nice and I just tell them I’m a four letter word Sara. For some reason a lot of people want to call me sally and that’s a total WTF for me—like did I get in a time machine and go back to 1947? It’s not really about you, but if it bothers you, feel free too correct it in the first line of your reply to the email. I try hard to spell peoples names correctly, probably because of my life with a no traditional name spelling, but most people aren’t detail oriented enough to care.

+1. I don't get worked up over the spelling at all, but it's kind of nice when people ask. It's so commonly misspelled I barely notice at this point and I just don't have the mental bandwidth to care about something so insignificant.

-Sara

SO nice when people ask

-Anne (with an e)

OP here. Fine. I'm also Anne with E.

Yes, I've made jokes about the show/books to be kind about people spelling it correctly. I get blank looks.

Yeah, Anne, there's just not that much to be done about it. I'm Carolyn but people often go with Caroline. I barely notice anymore; I just think of them as two different variations of the same name and don't sweat it. Life's too short to let stuff like this bother you.

It's very dismissive.

Yeah, there is some element of “suck it up, buttercup” in my comment.
But to the extent that you are an adult, you can choose to not dwell on tiny minor annoyances like this one.
You are entitled to your feeling, but I encourage you to actively avoid lingering on feelings that people are minimizing you or not seeing you based on the silent e at the end of your name.

[Anonymous]

I'm currently on a group text with four other people for a volunteer thing that we're doing.

One of the women responded to the text and misspelled another one's name. They've been friends for years. I've known her for only a few months and I definitely know how to spell her name.

Some people just don't pay attention to that stuff.

[Anonymous]

I'm a Megan and today I got an email addressed to Meghann

[Anonymous]

Nothing beats a (now, it wasn't when I was born) unisex name that has several ways to spell it.

[Anonymous]

You are definitely over-reacting.

You can blame your patients for getting cutesy. My sister is a teacher and warned me not to saddle my kid with a name that was hard to pronounce.

Why does their lack of familiarity with a (now ) obscure spelling make YOU feel less worthy. You have issues and should consider therapy. I don't mean that in a harsh way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not difficult. It's a boring American name like Jane or Emily or Mary, but one that has an alternative spelling (I use the traditional one).

But fully half of the emails I get, both personal and work-related, begin with something like "Hi Mari," and it's driving me crazy. My first name with the correct spelling is in both email addresses, so for people to do this for years on end seems...passive-aggressive? I've been struggling for a long time with feeling invisible and suicidal thoughts and just being a woman in my 40's, and this just adds to the depression, like people can't even be bothered to call me by the right name. They create their own nicknames, too, e.g., if you randomly decided to call your friend Catherine Cathy or Cat, even though Catherine has never gone by anything but.

Please tell me I'm overreacting. Because today it's made me feel so unimportant and unseen.

Not my name, but pretend I'm legally Deborah, go by Debbie. This happens daily! I will correct people if they use a different version or spelling of my name i.e. Deb/Debby/Deborah and I will regularly interact with them. Otherwise, it's just a running joke with my friends about my "starbucks name" which is a quick-glance different pronunciation of the name I use (there isn't really a Debbie equiavalent, but let's stay my starbucks name would be the equivalent of Devin).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm another generic middle-aged white lady with a less common but not at all unfamiliar name with an alternate spelling. It does drive me crazy when people use the alternate spelling in an email when the correct spelling is right there in the To: line, but I also realize that a lot of people spell phonetically or based on familiarity and aren't even aware when they're using different variations of a word or name.

I do have to restrain myself on baby name threads where someone is in hysterics over choosing the absolute most unique name in all the land because they can't bear the thought of more than one head turning on the playground when their precious child's name is called. All I wanted as a kid was to buy a license plate for my bike at the boardwalk souvenir shop or hear the teacher pronounce my name right on the first day of school!

I remember this too... Don't know how many of these racks I looked at as a kid, never to find my name.

[Anonymous]

It's hilarious how annoyed people are by this. My name is Kim, three small letters, and I have people still misspell it. Just move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My name is not unusual but it's one that has many different spellings and my spelling is not one of the most common. I get annoyed when people respond to an email where my name is plain as day, but I don't waste much energy on it. My name has been misspelled my entire life and will continue to be misspelled.

Kelly, Kelli, Kellie, Kelley?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hilarious how annoyed people are by this. My name is Kim, three small letters, and I have people still misspell it. Just move on.

NP. I do move on, and I don't correct anyone misspelling my name, which happens daily, but it does make me think less of the senders. My first name is spelled out in my personal email address, my work email signature, and my work email name (i.e., if you put in my email address it will pre-fill with my name). And yet basically everyone misspells it. Everyone. This is not some long, complicated, or unique name. It's a common name along the same lines as Ann/Anne or Sara/Sarah. As a white, middle-aged woman who is becoming invisible in the workplace, having everyone misspell my name on top of it says something. I get it, OP.

Calling someone by a nickname and mispronouncing names seem like variations on a theme. They're different issues.

[Anonymous]

My email auto"corrects" my best friend Rachael to Rachel all the time! Same with my work colleague Rebekah/Rebecca.

I try to catch it before sending but sometimes I miss it until right after sending if I'm rushing or never notice at all. If I notice, I apologize. If I was doing this to you and didn't realize it, I'd want to be corrected.

You matter, op. You have a right to speak up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are definitely over-reacting.

You can blame your patients for getting cutesy. My sister is a teacher and warned me not to saddle my kid with a name that was hard to pronounce.

Why does their lack of familiarity with a (now ) obscure spelling make YOU feel less worthy. You have issues and should consider therapy. I don't mean that in a harsh way.

Yes, Sarah/Sara and Anne/Ann are SO hard pronounce. Totally obscure.

[Anonymous]

I sign my name in my emails, and people keep changing it to another popular name from the same era.

Eg

Blah blah blah...

Regards Jessica

To which they reply

Dear Jennifer

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Omg who cares? Get over yourself.

It's basic manners. You call a person by their preferred name. It's who they are. Using whatever variation pops into your head is rude and dismissive.

^^we found the woke viewer. 'preferred' name. Let me guess, you're in your 20s/early 30s?

I am another boring middle-aged woman who is pretty darn un-woke. But at work I insist that we all make an effort to pronounce and spell our colleagues' names correctly, and to ask what name they go by-- Matt/Matthew, Andrew/Andy, Christopher/Chris, Elizabeth/Beth, Anna/Anya, etc.

But about alternative spellings: is it possible that there's some weird autocorrect thing going on?