Bathing suits and hair for DD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares what anybody does or does not “want to see” as long as private parts are covered (I’m assuming OP’s DD is wearing a standard-cut bikini bottom and just has some hair on upper thighs which is not a private part)? She doesn’t exist for the visual satisfaction of others and I think it’s really great that she realizes that at such a young age.

Also the “unaware of social norms” stuff seems out of place. Unless this kid lives a very sheltered existence I’m sure she is fully aware of the prevailing beauty standards.

OP back again. She is very aware of social norms and I think this is one of her ways of rebelling against them. It’s not really relevant but she also is currently identifying as part of the LBGTQ+ community. I’m trying hard not to put labels on her and just be a supportive parent. So much around us is so supportive and accepting of everything now. This is where some of her logic about men is coming from. And I don’t know, I’ve seen some pretty hairy men in speedos so I’m not sure the argument that they all shave applies. It hasn’t been in the US but it happens.

But I agree with many of you, the world is a harsh place and exposed pubic hair may be a little much even for accepting Nova.

Funny. I swear you are me. I am also battling this as a Mom of an empowered she/they and a pansexual leaning towards girls right now. We went to Mexico and she trimmed her underarm her but did not shave her legs, underarms nor public area. I told her she needed to if she was going to wear bikinis and she flat out said no. I am not for hair and shave and wax regularly everywhere, so this has been a challenge. She does not seem to care either. She did not get any attention but I was anxious about it.

This is my teen daughter, too. Proudly hairy and offended at the idea of being anything else. I have to admit it makes me extremely self-conscious on her behalf, but she doesn’t seem to care. Any suggestions about grooming, self-care, or impressions on others are not received well.

If I were you, I'd be proud of my daughter for not giving in to societal pressures to alter their looks to be more "pleasing" to the eye, as if our bodies are made for the consumption of random people that happen to be around us at any given time. I certainly am not as brave as they are, but I admire their self confidence and feel hopeful for future generations of women.

[Anonymous]

Good for her and she is right. Women and girls are constantly objectified and it shouldn’t be considered our duty to be visually appealing to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a lifeguard at our pool who does this. She does shave her pits though. People talk about it (men and women) but that’s it. It’s her choice

Why do they talk about it? What is there to talk about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women, even those sporting underarm hair and unshaved legs, do not display their pubic hair. She doesn't have to shave it all off -- but it needs to be trimmed to stay inside the suit. At some point she has to understand that some things are considered nasty.

I truly don't understand why people don't want to shave their underarm hair, as it attracts odor. My teenage son shaves his -- not at my prompting -- because it makes him less 'funky'.

Why do you think it is nasty? I grew up in a Western European country and as a teenager no girl would shave her pubic area, nobody would even have thought of that, it just seems absurd. I only started shaving that area when I moved to the US, but I don't like it at all. So, honest question, why is it nasty?

Women walk around in Europe with pubic hair sticking out of the bathing suits? I've been all over and never seen it. No one said she had to take all the hair off, but it needs to be inside the suit. And her DD is in the US which even if your oh-so-refined sensibilities like to see pubic hair sticking out, is not the cultural norm here and gets you made fun of and talked about as nasty.

The only nasty thing I see here is a grown woman calling a young girl nasty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make my kids wax their upper lips and plan to enforce bikini hair removal once it becomes an issue. Sorry not sorry.

How can you make them do this? Do you hold them down?

[Anonymous]

One of my first experiences with pubic hair (lol that’s a sentence I never thought I’d write) was my teen counselor at a summer camp when I was a tween. I was more curious than horrified about the bush she had sticking out around her bathing suit but in retrospect, I thought her confidence was pretty rad. I’m psyched there are teens nowadays that feel that way. Good luck to your daughter OP.

[Anonymous]

I think these girls are pretty fabulous, honestly. As for people noticing or saying something rude, the more common it is, the less they'll notice. And if they stare or say rude things and the unshaven girls don't respond, all the better. They should find more interesting things to talk about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she's wearing a bikini, the hair that's showing isn't "pubic hair." It's leg hair. Hair on her legs is fine.

Honestly no one will even see or notice and if they do it's their problem.

People who are saying that men who wear speedos shave, I don't think that's true.

If these guys are fine, she's fine.

Exactly.

No difference at all between hairy Mediterranean cisgender heterosexual men and a teen daughter.

How on earth do you know these men are straight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes DCUM is so progressive, but sometimes people are so dumb. It’s is definitely a thing now for girls to not shave, particularly if they are lesbian or non-binary. If OP’s daughter is a member of this community and that is who she is hanging out with, it’s not going to be an issue.

Shaving is a PITA and girls like anyone should be able to just suit up and swim.

Oh please it takes 10 seconds in the shower and you don’t have wispy thick vulva pubes sticking out or overgrown ones. Shaving is not a big deal.

How can they be both simultaneously wispy and thick? You make no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for her and she is right. Women and girls are constantly objectified and it shouldn’t be considered our duty to be visually appealing to others.

This is how I feel about weight and society’s sick views on how Women “should” look; as if it is anyone else’s business!

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of women on this forum are really out of touch with the younger generation, which (thankfully) is a lot more open-minded and less judgmental about choices like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think these girls are pretty fabulous, honestly. As for people noticing or saying something rude, the more common it is, the less they'll notice. And if they stare or say rude things and the unshaven girls don't respond, all the better. They should find more interesting things to talk about.

This. I’ve had some positive conversations with my teens. Their logical approach to dress that makes *me* feel uncomfortable has been educational for me. Now I have greater confidence that the next generation has the potential to get this right. We need to quit objectifying women and get over our own hang ups on what is “right” or “wrong” in terms of their bodies. The problem is men leering - not women’s bodies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares what anybody does or does not “want to see” as long as private parts are covered (I’m assuming OP’s DD is wearing a standard-cut bikini bottom and just has some hair on upper thighs which is not a private part)? She doesn’t exist for the visual satisfaction of others and I think it’s really great that she realizes that at such a young age.

Also the “unaware of social norms” stuff seems out of place. Unless this kid lives a very sheltered existence I’m sure she is fully aware of the prevailing beauty standards.

OP back again. She is very aware of social norms and I think this is one of her ways of rebelling against them. It’s not really relevant but she also is currently identifying as part of the LBGTQ+ community. I’m trying hard not to put labels on her and just be a supportive parent. So much around us is so supportive and accepting of everything now. This is where some of her logic about men is coming from. And I don’t know, I’ve seen some pretty hairy men in speedos so I’m not sure the argument that they all shave applies. It hasn’t been in the US but it happens.

But I agree with many of you, the world is a harsh place and exposed pubic hair may be a little much even for accepting Nova.

Funny. I swear you are me. I am also battling this as a Mom of an empowered she/they and a pansexual leaning towards girls right now. We went to Mexico and she trimmed her underarm her but did not shave her legs, underarms nor public area. I told her she needed to if she was going to wear bikinis and she flat out said no. I am not for hair and shave and wax regularly everywhere, so this has been a challenge. She does not seem to care either. She did not get any attention but I was anxious about it.

This is my teen daughter, too. Proudly hairy and offended at the idea of being anything else. I have to admit it makes me extremely self-conscious on her behalf, but she doesn’t seem to care. Any suggestions about grooming, self-care, or impressions on others are not received well.

If I were you, I'd be proud of my daughter for not giving in to societal pressures to alter their looks to be more "pleasing" to the eye, as if our bodies are made for the consumption of random people that happen to be around us at any given time. I certainly am not as brave as they are, but I admire their self confidence and feel hopeful for future generations of women.

Sounds like a small activist minority are the ones pressuring others to not groom themselves or have decent personal hygiene. New age hippies. Cool. Bet they love the attention too. Gender fluidity is where it’s at, it’s the new goth. Maybe layer on some more piercings and tats with the bushy bush and pits, good to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of women on this forum are really out of touch with the younger generation, which (thankfully) is a lot more open-minded and less judgmental about choices like this.

More like they don’t have any guidance or social norms or expectations and are just boggling around aimlessness. Read up on what happened and how demanding and teaching “consent” backfired royally. Consent for what? Kink, choking, anal, props. You consented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares what anybody does or does not “want to see” as long as private parts are covered (I’m assuming OP’s DD is wearing a standard-cut bikini bottom and just has some hair on upper thighs which is not a private part)? She doesn’t exist for the visual satisfaction of others and I think it’s really great that she realizes that at such a young age.

Also the “unaware of social norms” stuff seems out of place. Unless this kid lives a very sheltered existence I’m sure she is fully aware of the prevailing beauty standards.

OP back again. She is very aware of social norms and I think this is one of her ways of rebelling against them. It’s not really relevant but she also is currently identifying as part of the LBGTQ+ community. I’m trying hard not to put labels on her and just be a supportive parent. So much around us is so supportive and accepting of everything now. This is where some of her logic about men is coming from. And I don’t know, I’ve seen some pretty hairy men in speedos so I’m not sure the argument that they all shave applies. It hasn’t been in the US but it happens.

But I agree with many of you, the world is a harsh place and exposed pubic hair may be a little much even for accepting Nova.

Funny. I swear you are me. I am also battling this as a Mom of an empowered she/they and a pansexual leaning towards girls right now. We went to Mexico and she trimmed her underarm her but did not shave her legs, underarms nor public area. I told her she needed to if she was going to wear bikinis and she flat out said no. I am not for hair and shave and wax regularly everywhere, so this has been a challenge. She does not seem to care either. She did not get any attention but I was anxious about it.

This is my teen daughter, too. Proudly hairy and offended at the idea of being anything else. I have to admit it makes me extremely self-conscious on her behalf, but she doesn’t seem to care. Any suggestions about grooming, self-care, or impressions on others are not received well.

If I were you, I'd be proud of my daughter for not giving in to societal pressures to alter their looks to be more "pleasing" to the eye, as if our bodies are made for the consumption of random people that happen to be around us at any given time. I certainly am not as brave as they are, but I admire their self confidence and feel hopeful for future generations of women.

Sounds like a small activist minority are the ones pressuring others to not groom themselves or have decent personal hygiene. New age hippies. Cool. Bet they love the attention too. Gender fluidity is where it’s at, it’s the new goth. Maybe layer on some more piercings and tats with the bushy bush and pits, good to go.

They don’t care what you think. But if you want to waste your time and energy complaining about how other people look, that’s up to you.