Bathing suits and hair for DD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it’s ok to show the tops of your thighs in public as long as there’s no hair there? It’s just hair. Sheesh. I hope the PPs calling pubic hair “gross” and “nasty” aren’t raising their kids to be full of shame and self loathing about their bodies.

Pubic hair is not on the tops of thighs.

Well, you are lucky then. MY public hair grows onto MY thighs. I have basically no hair on my thighs, but a few errant pubes find a way. Ha.

I remove them and/or wear shorts. It’s really not hard!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like the message that dressing a certain type of way makes you a “target” for anything.

So you don’t live in reality?

[Anonymous]

I make my kids wax their upper lips and plan to enforce bikini hair removal once it becomes an issue. Sorry not sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make my kids wax their upper lips and plan to enforce bikini hair removal once it becomes an issue. Sorry not sorry.

What age did you start? Any push back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her wear what she wants. Your personal hangups are clearly not hers. She'll either be comfortable or change, either way it should be her decision. No random stranger is going to notice or care.

You are very very wrong. I definitely notice when women have pubes sticking out of their bathing suits.

I will say though, if your daughter doesn’t care, then not much you can do. Maybe other kids will make comments and she will change or maybe she will start a new trend. Just because I think it’s revolting doesn’t mean it is. It’s my opinion.

OP back again. This is where I am. I think it’s terrible but there’s nothing I can do, right? I guess I’ll let it go for now. She will change her mind by the summer or get some serious looks at the pool but that’s her business. I’m trying to tell myself that there are lots of posts on here about parents who feel strongly about young kids coloring their hair and how that’s wrong and looks bad. I think this looks bad. But as long as the kids are clean and not harming anyone else, it’s all opinion.

One the one hand, I think it’s sweet she’s so idealistic. Maybe there is nothing you can do?

OTOH, teens are ruthless. She will be made fun of, and it will hurt.

Worse still: kids these days do not just talk, like when we were young. I am learning they will use their phones to record everything. Yes everything. Then they post and share it. All of it.

So much more potential for terrible situations.

But again- what can a parent do?

Great point. If it is quite obvious, especially from some distance, that she has a significant amount of pubic hair creeping out of her swimsuit, it will for sure be captured and shared.

Can we all collectively shudder now?

OP, great job on the purchase and the conversation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it’s ok to show the tops of your thighs in public as long as there’s no hair there? It’s just hair. Sheesh. I hope the PPs calling pubic hair “gross” and “nasty” aren’t raising their kids to be full of shame and self loathing about their bodies.

Pubic hair is not on the tops of thighs.

Well, you are lucky then. MY public hair grows onto MY thighs. I have basically no hair on my thighs, but a few errant pubes find a way. Ha.

I remove them and/or wear shorts. It’s really not hard!

This! I have the same problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make my kids wax their upper lips and plan to enforce bikini hair removal once it becomes an issue. Sorry not sorry.

Wish you had been my mother. I would have appreciated some support.

[Anonymous]

Older millennial here (33 yo). Just saying here that I'm always heartened to hear ways society has changed in the last 20 years. At around 12 I started feeling like I needed to remove hair all over. I wish I hadn't used a razor around the bikini line. I got so many bumps and ingrown hairs and it's been an annoyance ever since. Only now, after having my 3rd child, am I really reassessing and wondering why I feel the need to continue this way. I stopped shaving/waxing my bikini area a few months ago (I swim about once a week). Maybe I will again in the summer but IDK.
In college I had a brilliant, gorgeous friend. She was the only girl I remember seeing wearing a swimsuit without any care about hiding or removing her hair. Rather than feeling "disgusted," I was kind of amazed and impressed.

It's all about perspective, OP. Your daughter doesn't care about others staring at or judging her on something she doesn't care about. A good reminder to all of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And I didn’t even think about photos and sharing online. Thank you for bringing that up. -OP

The teens’ mean-spirited sharing of - just about everything - on social media? It is really getting out of hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older millennial here (33 yo). Just saying here that I'm always heartened to hear ways society has changed in the last 20 years. At around 12 I started feeling like I needed to remove hair all over. I wish I hadn't used a razor around the bikini line. I got so many bumps and ingrown hairs and it's been an annoyance ever since. Only now, after having my 3rd child, am I really reassessing and wondering why I feel the need to continue this way. I stopped shaving/waxing my bikini area a few months ago (I swim about once a week). Maybe I will again in the summer but IDK.
In college I had a brilliant, gorgeous friend. She was the only girl I remember seeing wearing a swimsuit without any care about hiding or removing her hair. Rather than feeling "disgusted," I was kind of amazed and impressed.

It's all about perspective, OP. Your daughter doesn't care about others staring at or judging her on something she doesn't care about. A good reminder to all of us.

This is the key. If you’re hot and cool you can do whatever you want. If you’re chubby or weird you’re gonna have a bad time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just got back from spring break and this came up many times with my daughter. She is confident with herself and doesn’t want to shave her armpits or legs. She constantly tells me, men don’t have to do it and neither do women. Okay. Her body. But the topic came up with bikini bottoms and pubic hair. She had the same answer. Men don’t have to shave, why do I. I told her she should buy some of the boyshort bottoms if she wants to be natural and she is saying the same, her body and she’s comfortable. I don’t really have a good answer on why she can’t do this other than it makes me and possibly others uncomfortable. I totally get that I’m old now. What do you think, DCUM? Honestly, I wish I had her confidence when I was a teen.

COol. Our super progressive liberal school in WDC convinced large swaths of girls to do the same. I don't think it resulted in more confidence in any of them, just herd mentality and fitting in with the latest BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her wear what she wants. Your personal hangups are clearly not hers. She'll either be comfortable or change, either way it should be her decision. No random stranger is going to notice or care.

You are very very wrong. I definitely notice when women have pubes sticking out of their bathing suits.

Yup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just got back from spring break and this came up many times with my daughter. She is confident with herself and doesn’t want to shave her armpits or legs. She constantly tells me, men don’t have to do it and neither do women. Okay. Her body. But the topic came up with bikini bottoms and pubic hair. She had the same answer. Men don’t have to shave, why do I. I told her she should buy some of the boyshort bottoms if she wants to be natural and she is saying the same, her body and she’s comfortable. I don’t really have a good answer on why she can’t do this other than it makes me and possibly others uncomfortable. I totally get that I’m old now. What do you think, DCUM? Honestly, I wish I had her confidence when I was a teen.

This is not your problem to solve. Actually, it's not actually a problem. Leave her be. There is nothing inherently wrong with a hairy body. You have been conditioned to think it's bad.

She can deal with whatever "consequences" that result in her choice.

If she's neurotypical and not SNs or LD, let it go. Most kids around here are too polite and conditioned to not say anything ever, so that will be that. Good signaling to LGBTQIA2+ as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will make a lot of people stare at your underage daughter’s private area and yes they will stare especially as she gets older. You explain this to her and only buy her shorts until she’s mature enough to understand why a teenage girl needs to shave for swimming. Parenting means setting boundaries, when she’s 18 and buying her own swimwear she can walk around with her pubes hanging out.

She could just walk around in a burqa to eliminate looks. If you are staring at anyone's pubes, that is a you problem, perv.

F grooming! F hygiene! F societal niceties and expectations!

Free to be Me!

Feminism! Hippies! Hair! Drugs!

Deal with it! Or I'll sue you for not hiring me.

[Anonymous]

If you don't stare at other people's crotches at the beach or the pool you wouldn't notice what they have done or not done with their pubic hair. Just a thought...