We just started dating and she called me out over a joke. Petty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just started dating about a month ago. We were talking on the phone and I asked her what she was up to. She said she had just finished watching the news. I replied with, “oh what news? TMZ, National inquirer, Star magazine?” and I started laughing. She paused, and said, “you must think I’m an airhead or not particularly bright for you to assume I read such low brow things as my source of news. I don’t appreciate it and don’t do that again”. In my defense I know she is into celebrity gossip. Heck, she’ll even ask me once in awhile if I want to hear the gossip of the day.

I think she was being petty. Thoughts?

Can we just revisit this for a minute? I’m assuming you’re just a troll who didn’t proofread carefully enough, because this is nonsense.

What’s the big deal? I’m doing this from my phone so I didn’t take the time to capitalize everything properly.

Lol. Are you OP? The issue isn’t capitalization, it’s that when the woman said she just finished WATCHING the news, you asked if she had just finished watching the National Enquirer, or Star magazine…both are print publications.

He knows those are print magazines, not news. This is why we said he’s the a-hole for insinuating that’s her form of news.

Or she overreacted because it's clearly a joke since they can't be watched.

*furious backpedaling*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds a little uptight. Men tease the women they like, and that is time for a woman’s wit, charm, and perspicacity to stand up for herself can shine.

In short, she doesn’t have very good girl game and that won’t change any time soon. I would end it if it were me because I personally don’t think the schoolmarmy, stick-up-the-butt attitude is attractive.

I know men like you. They are always deeply insecure and “tease” their partners as a form of leveling in an attempt to elevate themselves. It’s such a transparent tell of low self confidence, I always feel embarrassed for them.

+100

I know guys like this, too. There was a thread on here the other day that had a guy saying that women don't message him back on OLD because he makes similar jokes. They think it's hilarious, but the humor, for them, comes from putting someone down subtly (in their mind, anyway) and presenting themselves as someone who wouldn't do the thing they're "joking" about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, here’s a primer on how jokes work, since you said in your title this was a joke, not some “negging” attempt that went awry.

A joke is successful if the person who hears the joke laughs/finds it funny. If they don’t, the joke fails. Whether -the person who is telling the joke finds it funny is irrelevant (we’ve all been in a room with someone laughing at their own joke while no one else does). Whether someone on the internet thinks your joke is funny is irrelevant unless you were telling the joke to them.

The correct response to this woman was “bad joke— sorry!” And moving on. We’ve all been there. That doesn’t make YTA. Deciding that there is something wrong with her (she’s “petty”) because she didn’t like your joke at her expense is why YTA.

Nailed it. We have all said borderline stupid shit that we get called out on. He’s taking it to the next level and thinking about it enough to blame her and then ask the Internet because you’re so bothered by it. You called someone dumb Due to their interest in a widely accepted low brow hobby. I mean. Get better material.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just started dating about a month ago. We were talking on the phone and I asked her what she was up to. She said she had just finished watching the news. I replied with, “oh what news? TMZ, National inquirer, Star magazine?” and I started laughing. She paused, and said, “you must think I’m an airhead or not particularly bright for you to assume I read such low brow things as my source of news. I don’t appreciate it and don’t do that again”. In my defense I know she is into celebrity gossip. Heck, she’ll even ask me once in awhile if I want to hear the gossip of the day.

I think she was being petty. Thoughts?

You need badly for her yo be a petty airhead. Let her go and date a woman who does read those. Johnny Depp's domestic assault if she's experienced violence at home is NOTHING like photoshopped photos of successful women picking their noses.

[Anonymous]

“ I just started dating a guy and when we were catching up at the end of the day he asked me what I was doing. When I told him I was watching the news, he asked me if it was my celebrity gossip and inferred that because I read us weekly sometimes it must be the only new source I have because of my intelligence. It’s not the first time he’s teased me about my intelligence, Which is insulting and a little strange because he knows I have several degrees and I work at a complicated job. I asked him to stop jokes like that but now things are weird. Am I the asshole?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't sound insecure, rather the opposite. She sounds secure as hell to me. OP is the one who sounds insecure to make that "joke" in the first place.

Indeed. You need to be secure to call somebody out rationally like she did. You also need to be secure to accept re-direction, which OP did not.

“You must think I’m an idiot to read lowbrow trash” is not a rational reaction. That part was totally unnecessary. Unless it too, was a joke? If that’s the case this is all a nothingburger!

It’s a completely rational reaction. Perhaps she could have been more precise and said, “I feel like you think like I’m not very bright when you say things like that” but her conclusion is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t think it was that bad but I’m not her. It doesn’t matter what the rest of us think. Does she normally have a sense of humor? It sounds like your sense of humor doesn’t match with hers - that’s the issue.

Yea, she does have a sense of humor usually. That’s why this threw me off and made me think she’s petty because she doesn’t usually got offended and finds a lot of things humorous.

You were negging her. Not cool.

Also, you bringing this here is the petty part

[Anonymous]

I am a Female and would likely be okay w/this joke since I tend to be a laid back person in general who says a lot of tongue and cheek stuff all the time.

For her to react the way she did - may signal that you and her may be a bit incompatible.

[Anonymous]

You’re an idiot and this relationship is going to end sooner than you think.

[Anonymous]

This is the equivalent of guys who insist on doing something in bed that you have said you dislike because “all my other girlfriends like this!”

She is an individual, and so are you. You did something that she does not like and she told you so. Three things can happen now:
1) You accept that she means what she says and then work hard to modify your behavior so that you are treating her as she likes to be treated
2) You continue these kinds of jokes and she dumps you over it
3) The worst case scenario: you continue these jokes and she gives up trying to stand up for herself. Over time her resentment of you grows but because you are constantly telling her that her feelings don’t matter, she tries to ignore them. Then 10, 15 years in when you have kids and friends and financial ties she finally hits the wall and realizes she should have chosen someone who truly loves her and is kind, rather than someone who doesn’t mind hurting her. THEN she dumps you.

[Anonymous]

Your joke was dumb and she told you to knock it off. That should be the end. The fact that your ego is bruised and you are still thinking about it and being defensive about it is the red flag that she should walk away from. If you like to joke that way and she doesn’t think it’s funny, do yourself a favor and break up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just started dating about a month ago. We were talking on the phone and I asked her what she was up to. She said she had just finished watching the news. I replied with, “oh what news? TMZ, National inquirer, Star magazine?” and I started laughing. She paused, and said, “you must think I’m an airhead or not particularly bright for you to assume I read such low brow things as my source of news. I don’t appreciate it and don’t do that again”. In my defense I know she is into celebrity gossip. Heck, she’ll even ask me once in awhile if I want to hear the gossip of the day.

I think she was being petty. Thoughts?

Can we just revisit this for a minute? I’m assuming you’re just a troll who didn’t proofread carefully enough, because this is nonsense.

By those references, I assume OP is over 45 and trying to date younger or doesn’t understand where people other than middle age women get info/gossip.

[Anonymous]

Is she hot? Just ignore and ride the wave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just started dating about a month ago. We were talking on the phone and I asked her what she was up to. She said she had just finished watching the news. I replied with, “oh what news? TMZ, National inquirer, Star magazine?” and I started laughing. She paused, and said, “you must think I’m an airhead or not particularly bright for you to assume I read such low brow things as my source of news. I don’t appreciate it and don’t do that again”. In my defense I know she is into celebrity gossip. Heck, she’ll even ask me once in awhile if I want to hear the gossip of the day.

I think she was being petty. Thoughts?

Can we just revisit this for a minute? I’m assuming you’re just a troll who didn’t proofread carefully enough, because this is nonsense.

By those references, I assume OP is over 45 and trying to date younger or doesn’t understand where people other than middle age women get info/gossip.

+1

Seems like there is a reason why OP is single at his age.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like she has a stick up her @ss. She’s going to be exhausting to date because she will find everything a reason to start a fight. I know the type.

You aren’t compatible.