Ramifications of marrying outside of your social class
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Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
This is just ignorant. I suppose you're absolutely clueless to the why of it all as well. |
Anonymous
The rich need reasons to justify their place above the poor. Whether it's race, good neighborhoods, addiction, class, etc. Fortunately or unfortunately, the rain falls on the just and unjust and human nature is consistent across income bands. |
Anonymous
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Me: UC. DH: UMC but after a nasty divorce with his parents, LC
-Food -Teaching him about passports -Traveling (he had never left his state and I have been all around the world with my family) -Understanding how to invest in future opportunities for our children now ( summer program, equestrian and archery camps, clinics and competitions, enrichment experiences) -Traveling experiences for family -Clothes |
Anonymous
Can you give an example? Do you care less about ethics than your relatives do? |
Anonymous
I don’t have a deep seated hatred for the poor. I married someone poorer than me and it didn’t work out well. Over the 20 years I got to meet about 100 people in their circle and they were all the same. A lot of talk about how they swindled some freebie here and there. A lack of interest in working through conflict. Lots of Trump people who like the idea of getting rich without getting along or having standards. A lot of blaming other people for any ill in their life. Once the sister blamed a priest for turning her son away from the church. He got into college and failed out and it was the fault of the college not him. While the rich may blame the poor on their addictions and crime (and btw addiction is a sign of mental health issues) the lower class spend a lot of time hating the rich. Constant victim mentality. I don’t know anything about super rich people or super poor people. I was comparing upper middle class families where someone if they work hard all their life has a senior position in a company but not an owner or ceo to that of a family that grew up lower middle class not poor working as laborers or cashiers and the like. |
Anonymous
| We’re both bland umc kids though my DH was a slacker in school so his parents cut him off and he had to work his way through community college before transferring back to his 4 year school. |
Anonymous
| To add on I had a friend who flunked out of school freshman year partying. She wanted to go back to a college and finish her degree and the upper middle class parents cut off the funds and said she had to pay back the funds from the funded year and take classes at home and do well before they would pay again. She ended up graduating from college and now has a job and has a family while the lower income family gave up on their son attending college after freshman year and never encouraged him to take a class again. He finally has a steady job as a Target employee 10 years after just sitting at home doing nothing or having various jobs that always lasted less than a year. He has no family in his mid 30s and is a Target worker living at home without a lot of prospects. During that 10 year time the lower class family went on a lot of vacations with the money they had saved for college. For the lower class family college was optional. For the upper middle class family they weren’t going to enable but were going to work through whatever they could to have their daughter graduate. |
Anonymous
I’m the pp who posted about my DH and yes, almost the same story with my DH who is UMC. They weren’t going to enable and cut him off after he got kicked out of UVA for disciplinary reasons and made him pay them back . So he worked his way through nova and then did guarantee transfer to another state school. Once they figured out he was serious, they helped him out with tuition but made him work for room and board. Since they helped him out he graduated debt free. |
Anonymous
I guess I grew up in a similar family (minus reading and theatre part, those were always part of my life) , and it is really interesting to me how you chose to frame it. My parents actually told me something along the lines of "life costs money, you have to contribute", and I always view it as a contribution rather than being charged. And, of course, once I started contributing, I was a part of the family financial decision making. |
Anonymous
What? |
Anonymous
Hahaha, take a look at the SAT testing accommodations, eating disorders, gender stuff, etc - going by those metrics, it's the rich neighborhoods where all the mental illnesses are brewing. |
Anonymous
Social class? Are you from 1800's England? There is no social class and certainly no one is better than others for being lucky to have more opportunities. If someone thinks it makes them better, you don't want to be that person or their delusion of grandeur. |
Anonymous
Interesting. My husband grew up LMC and MC and he has much of the same metal hang ups around money. He doesn’t understand that yes, things cost that much. You cannot get a decent home in this area for 300k no matter how much you lament it. Yes, a decent home will cost “a million dollars”. He cannot comprehend paying more for organic foods or caring about certain brands of clothes. He steps out of the house even today in sneakers, jeans and a T shirt. He finds button downs to be restrictive and boring. It’s funny because his younger sister who grew up in the same house, married rich and has transitioned seamlessly into her UC life as the wife of a banker. She loves spending money and the more expensive something is, the better. My husband balks at spending $250 for a hotel room and she only stays at hotels no less than 1k a night. Growing up they’d stay at Holiday Inns. |
Anonymous
I don't dispute anything you say except for the fact that you don't have to be "part of that world" in NYC. There are 8 million people here--the idea that there's only one way to live is silly. |