Update to previously deleted thread- my sister won’t let anyone hold her baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait are you people serious? You think it’s reasonable to not even take a newborn for a stroller walk outside because…other people might have walked by? Clearly this poor woman is suffering from PPA and needs help..????

+1. OP might be a bit of a cow, but not taking your baby outdoors, ever “because someone might walk by” is also not normal.

Thing is (if she’s real) she probably is taking her baby for plenty of walks outside. She just doesn’t want to go for walks outside with OP who sounds like she’s a controlling busybody.

No really, haha. She isn’t going anywhere. She doesn’t go anywhere besides drs appts.
[b]She bathes the baby using bottled water.
She had allergies or a mild cold a few weeks ago and wouldn’t be in the same room as the baby for a full 24 hours. The nanny and dh handled the baby.
She is so terrified of “the baby getting sick” she legitimately wore an n95 in the house and did not hold or sit in the same room as the baby for an entire day.

I 100000% wish I was making this up. I wish.
Now you’re a troll

[Anonymous]

People love piling on an OP, no matter the situation. If the OP was the sister and asking if what she was doing was normal, she would absolutely have the majority saying she needs help, because, she does, you dingbats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few weeks ago, not sure why but my post was deleted. Gist is that my sister will not let anyone touch or hold her baby, except for her, her dh, and the live in nanny, “because of COVID.” All adults on family are vaxed, boosted, and some even have additional antibodies from having omicron. She agreed to two outdoor meet ups where family was allowed to double mask, stand a distance from baby and wave.

Many of you expressed opinions that we were pushing her and being unreasonable. I’ve let her be. There is now additional tension because her husband woujd like to travel domestically to see a sickly relative. She. Will. Not. Let. Him. #becausecovid

I had previously asked her if she’d like to take a stroller walk in a park or outdoors somewhere. We live in the south, warm weather. I’ll even wear masks outdoors for the walk (even though that goes against science, but whatever). She said she’s think about it and get back to me! I felt some encouragement that she would consider it.

She got back to me today. Nope! And in fact she has decided that there will be no more outdoor visits for her and baby. “Because a lot of people have been walking around outside and are in the parks lately because of the nice weather. A Lot of People around means It’s not safe.”

People thought I was flippant or being rude. That was not my intent. I am truly concerned because I don’t think she’s mentally or emotionally in a reasonable sound place. Her assessment of risk is totally off the wall. There is no acceptable amount of risk. She and the baby are literally staying in the house except for drs appts. Her dh is growing frustrated. She shuts down all conversations by saying “this isn’t safe” “someone Could get sick” “but it’s a pandemic”

We are at a loss. This isn’t about seeing touching the baby anymore. She is completely unreasonable.

Its her baby, let her decide what she feels comfortable with. Last thing a new mom needs is judgment and stress from her family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your paediatrician sister have to say?

That healthy full term babies who have had first round shots are at minimal risk of getting ill around vaccinated boosted and otherwise healthy people.
That fresh air, walks and social interaction are healthy and necessary for mom and baby.
That there are more ways to define health than just trying not to get COVID

Without realizing it, you’re still making it about the baby.

What does your sister say about her sister, who is clearly experiencing some form of post natal mental health concerns? I mean, she must know a thing or two about PPA, PPD, PPP as she must deal with newborns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your paediatrician sister have to say?

That healthy full term babies who have had first round shots are at minimal risk of getting ill around vaccinated boosted and otherwise healthy people.
That fresh air, walks and social interaction are healthy and necessary for mom and baby.
That there are more ways to define health than just trying not to get COVID

Without realizing it, you’re still making it about the baby.

What does your sister say about her sister, who is clearly experiencing some form of post natal mental health concerns? I mean, she must know a thing or two about PPA, PPD, PPP as she must deal with newborns.

That fresh air, walks and social interaction are healthy and necessary for mom and baby.
That there are more ways to define health than just trying not to get COVID

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your paediatrician sister have to say?

That healthy full term babies who have had first round shots are at minimal risk of getting ill around vaccinated boosted and otherwise healthy people.
That fresh air, walks and social interaction are healthy and necessary for mom and baby.
That there are more ways to define health than just trying not to get COVID

Without realizing it, you’re still making it about the baby.

What does your sister say about her sister, who is clearly experiencing some form of post natal mental health concerns? I mean, she must know a thing or two about PPA, PPD, PPP as she must deal with newborns.

That fresh air, walks and social interaction are healthy and necessary for mom and baby.
That there are more ways to define health than just trying not to get COVID

Yeah, I read that. It fits nicely with your narrative.

And what about flu, RSV, pertussis, and norovirus?

What does your sister say about the likelihood your sister is experiencing post partum mental health struggles?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really weird. I know tons of babies born since 2020 and none of their parents are like this. The people defending OP's sister sound as crazy as the sister does. OP, I'd talk to the husband alone and see if he can get her to see someone. He's really the only one with any say.

Op here. Our pediatrician sister had a baby several months ago! She is behaving and acting normally. Taking her baby son out for walks, to the store, to see our family indoors, to the park etc.

Serious question for all the posters who think I’m nuts/obsessed etc- are you people really not leaving your houses? Like still? In 2022?

It's really none of your business. The fact that your PEDIATRICIAN sister goes out for walks and sees family indoors does not mean the other sister must do the same. It is her business and her decision. Just back off.

[Anonymous]

I totally disagree with the “back off” posters, OP. The bottled water thing is….next level crazy.

She is clearly suffering from PPA and needs help. Can ped sister do an intervention?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally disagree with the “back off” posters, OP. The bottled water thing is….next level crazy.

She is clearly suffering from PPA and needs help. Can ped sister do an intervention?

her hormones are probably off, how old is the baby? the hormones thing is off for at least 3-4 months, at least it was for me. i had a baby in March, 2020. my COVID anxiety level was through the roof and new mom hormones on top of that. just give it a few months. our local grandparents and uncle saw the baby through the window till he was 3 mo old.

[Anonymous]

So what’s your goal / endgame to posting here, OP?
You’ve had people talk to you about giving her some space, gentle support, and helping within that framework but it doesn’t seem fast enough or something for you.

Is complaining on here about her level of anxiety making you happy? Does Comparing her to a sister whose very job makes her high risk and thus is less likely to be super cautions make you feel superior about your choices or something? What are you getting out of this, because it’s certainly not helping your sister or her family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People love piling on an OP, no matter the situation. If the OP was the sister and asking if what she was doing was normal, she would absolutely have the majority saying she needs help, because, she does, you dingbats.

Because the OP is the narrator, and seemingly and unreliable one.

If the sister posted here and said “my sister is weirdly obsessed with my baby. I have been using covid as an excuse to limit my interactions with her but now she’s stalking my husband insisting that something is wrong with me. I am trying to give noncommittal answers when she demands I take my baby somewhere, but every time I suggest that she and I go out together she insists HAVE to bring the baby” I imagine she’d also get different responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People love piling on an OP, no matter the situation. If the OP was the sister and asking if what she was doing was normal, she would absolutely have the majority saying she needs help, because, she does, you dingbats.

People ARE saying that she needs help, but they are doing it and framing it in an empathetic way that does not make the word or possibility of needing help some kind of grave insult or moral judgement.

It still doesn’t change the fact that OP is pushy, judgmental, and entitled. She is not owed access to the baby, and that goes doubly with the clear dislike and disdain she has for her sister, who would use a little extra handling with care right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally disagree with the “back off” posters, OP. The bottled water thing is….next level crazy.

She is clearly suffering from PPA and needs help. Can ped sister do an intervention?

her hormones are probably off, how old is the baby? the hormones thing is off for at least 3-4 months, at least it was for me. i had a baby in March, 2020. my COVID anxiety level was through the roof and new mom hormones on top of that. just give it a few months. our local grandparents and uncle saw the baby through the window till he was 3 mo old.

This is why people are telling OP to back off. SIL's hormones are probably messed up, she may have ppd, and she has all these relatives pestering her for baby access during a pandemic.

Take them some food or send them some groceries and do something productive to help SIL instead of piling on. Talk to your brother and suggest he encourage her to see someone for support (and don't tell SIL's it's your idea, but his.)

Does your SIL have issues? Yes.
Is she an adult who can make her own decisions and doesn't have to respond from pressure from you or your family? Yes.
Just chill for a few months OP. The baby will be fine.

[Anonymous]

She has a full time nanny. She’s not COVID-avoidant, she’s you-avoidant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People love piling on an OP, no matter the situation. If the OP was the sister and asking if what she was doing was normal, she would absolutely have the majority saying she needs help, because, she does, you dingbats.

People ARE saying that she needs help, but they are doing it and framing it in an empathetic way that does not make the word or possibility of needing help some kind of grave insult or moral judgement.

It still doesn’t change the fact that OP is pushy, judgmental, and entitled. She is not owed access to the baby, and that goes doubly with the clear dislike and disdain she has for her sister, who would use a little extra handling with care right now.

+1 and I cannot believe that OP is still pushing this.