Update to previously deleted thread- my sister won’t let anyone hold her baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just cannot believe that OP is still harping in this. Yes the sister sounds overprotective at best and suffering from severe anxiety at worst.

But why OP is getting so worked up about not being able to hold this baby is beyond me. And OP is backtracking a little and now expressing worry about the sister “missing out” on time with the family (missing out in quotes because I sure wouldn’t think I was missing out if I avoided OP’s company), but OP’s whole issue started with a hissy fit about not being allowed to hold a one-month old infant during a pandemic. That’s far more bizarre than not allowing somebody to hold an infant at this stage of the pandemic.

If OP’s sister were here I’d tell her “get some help for your anxiety.” But since it’s only OP, I’ll just say to OP that you need to learn to respect boundaries, mind your own business, and stop making yourself the center of the universe.

Honestly this is the best response to the thread.

+2. I would not be surprised at all if the root of this is actually that OP's sister doesn't want to deal with OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the baby? Under 8 weeks without *any* shots, I would be that way also.

1. Drop off a meal, cookies or flowers. Leave them on the porch or have them delivered. Something that she'll appreciate
2. Give her some time
3. Tell her husband to be supportive
4. Suggest to husband that they ask at the baby's wellness appointments what the baby's doctor says is safe

Good luck - I feel for everyone here. Not easy to navigate.

Over 8 weeks and has had first round of shots
She will not accept food. We tried previously to drop off things to her. She believes it’s a COVID risk. She is still wiping down Amazon packages with Clorox wipes, etc. i am not trying to make fun of her- just trying to convey where she is at.
Dh is in a tough position because he has gone along with her preferences since March 2020. But like many of us, he’s ready for a gradual but eventual return to normalcy. He has not seen any of his family in 2 years because “they” weren’t comfortable with any travel. He suggested driving a ridiculously long way to see his sickly relative on lieu of flying (even though flying safer in all aspects) she said he can drive only if he will not stop. No rest stops no bathrooms, drive through food only and using the bathroom off the side of the road i guess.

The moment I saw the suggestion, I knew that your sister would not accept them. Does your sister have a history of OCD?

[Anonymous]

How about leave her alone. Get a life.

[Anonymous]

OP back. No one still can enter her home or touch the baby.
She did actually go into our parents' home last week to drop something off. First time she has been inside their home (or anyone's) since March 2020. She requested that everyone wear masks and keep distance. She stayed for about 10 min and did not bring the baby.
She has become so mean, honestly. I've found myself pulling back from our relationship. She now chastises and shames people we know who have gotten covid in the last few weeks.
One of our mutual friends is pregnant, vaccinated, and boosted. Like most in our circle/area, she does not wear masks outside, and she generally does not wear them inside. She lives a pretty normal life. She got Covid for the first time a few weeks ago. I am so embarrassed to say that my sister actually chuckled and said something like "See, that's what you get for being unsafe. Hope her baby doesn't end up with long term side effects because of her stupidity."

I was taken aback. Legitimately shocked to hear such MEAN words. Honestly, maybe this distance is for the best. The last 2 years have revealed some unpleasant truths. Hard to say it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. No one still can enter her home or touch the baby.
She did actually go into our parents' home last week to drop something off. First time she has been inside their home (or anyone's) since March 2020. She requested that everyone wear masks and keep distance. She stayed for about 10 min and did not bring the baby.
She has become so mean, honestly. I've found myself pulling back from our relationship. She now chastises and shames people we know who have gotten covid in the last few weeks.
One of our mutual friends is pregnant, vaccinated, and boosted. Like most in our circle/area, she does not wear masks outside, and she generally does not wear them inside. She lives a pretty normal life. She got Covid for the first time a few weeks ago. I am so embarrassed to say that my sister actually chuckled and said something like "See, that's what you get for being unsafe. Hope her baby doesn't end up with long term side effects because of her stupidity."

I was taken aback. Legitimately shocked to hear such MEAN words. Honestly, maybe this distance is for the best. The last 2 years have revealed some unpleasant truths. Hard to say it.

Stop posting and seek help, you psycho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. No one still can enter her home or touch the baby.
She did actually go into our parents' home last week to drop something off. First time she has been inside their home (or anyone's) since March 2020. She requested that everyone wear masks and keep distance. She stayed for about 10 min and did not bring the baby.
She has become so mean, honestly. I've found myself pulling back from our relationship. She now chastises and shames people we know who have gotten covid in the last few weeks.
One of our mutual friends is pregnant, vaccinated, and boosted. Like most in our circle/area, she does not wear masks outside, and she generally does not wear them inside. She lives a pretty normal life. She got Covid for the first time a few weeks ago. I am so embarrassed to say that my sister actually chuckled and said something like "See, that's what you get for being unsafe. Hope her baby doesn't end up with long term side effects because of her stupidity."

I was taken aback. Legitimately shocked to hear such MEAN words. Honestly, maybe this distance is for the best. The last 2 years have revealed some unpleasant truths. Hard to say it.

Stop posting and seek help, you psycho.

Hi OP’s sister!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. No one still can enter her home or touch the baby.
She did actually go into our parents' home last week to drop something off. First time she has been inside their home (or anyone's) since March 2020. She requested that everyone wear masks and keep distance. She stayed for about 10 min and did not bring the baby.
She has become so mean, honestly. I've found myself pulling back from our relationship. She now chastises and shames people we know who have gotten covid in the last few weeks.
One of our mutual friends is pregnant, vaccinated, and boosted. Like most in our circle/area, she does not wear masks outside, and she generally does not wear them inside. She lives a pretty normal life. She got Covid for the first time a few weeks ago. I am so embarrassed to say that my sister actually chuckled and said something like "See, that's what you get for being unsafe. Hope her baby doesn't end up with long term side effects because of her stupidity."

I was taken aback. Legitimately shocked to hear such MEAN words. Honestly, maybe this distance is for the best. The last 2 years have revealed some unpleasant truths. Hard to say it.

Stop posting and seek help, you psycho.

Hi OP’s sister!

This OP is a known troll. She contradicts herself, backtracks, and changes her story.

[Anonymous]

You were just as surprised when your previous thread was deleted.

If you are real you have no boundaries or respect. Leave your sister and her husband alone. They do not want you in their lives.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't know why this ridiculous pile-on writing fanfiction about your rabid motivations to fondle the baby and lying. If you are that's on you, but I don't see this egregious boundary stomping.

I agree that it's on the husband to deal with his wife but, if what you say is true, she's nuts and there's nothing you can do about it, unfortunately, and it will be hard-going for them.

There's not much more to say, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. No one still can enter her home or touch the baby.
She did actually go into our parents' home last week to drop something off. First time she has been inside their home (or anyone's) since March 2020. She requested that everyone wear masks and keep distance. She stayed for about 10 min and did not bring the baby.
She has become so mean, honestly. I've found myself pulling back from our relationship. She now chastises and shames people we know who have gotten covid in the last few weeks.
One of our mutual friends is pregnant, vaccinated, and boosted. Like most in our circle/area, she does not wear masks outside, and she generally does not wear them inside. She lives a pretty normal life. She got Covid for the first time a few weeks ago. I am so embarrassed to say that my sister actually chuckled and said something like "See, that's what you get for being unsafe. Hope her baby doesn't end up with long term side effects because of her stupidity."

I was taken aback. Legitimately shocked to hear such MEAN words. Honestly, maybe this distance is for the best. The last 2 years have revealed some unpleasant truths. Hard to say it.

Stop posting and seek help, you psycho.

Hi OP’s sister!

Wow. You're really gullible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. No one still can enter her home or touch the baby.
She did actually go into our parents' home last week to drop something off. First time she has been inside their home (or anyone's) since March 2020. She requested that everyone wear masks and keep distance. She stayed for about 10 min and did not bring the baby.
She has become so mean, honestly. I've found myself pulling back from our relationship. She now chastises and shames people we know who have gotten covid in the last few weeks.
One of our mutual friends is pregnant, vaccinated, and boosted. Like most in our circle/area, she does not wear masks outside, and she generally does not wear them inside. She lives a pretty normal life. She got Covid for the first time a few weeks ago. I am so embarrassed to say that my sister actually chuckled and said something like "See, that's what you get for being unsafe. Hope her baby doesn't end up with long term side effects because of her stupidity."

I was taken aback. Legitimately shocked to hear such MEAN words. Honestly, maybe this distance is for the best. The last 2 years have revealed some unpleasant truths. Hard to say it.

She sounds really smart and deserves to have a decent sister, which is not you.

[Anonymous]

So, OP, have you taken a single one of the helpful suggestions in either of the two threads about this? I’m assuming not, as yiu really seem to just like drama.

[Anonymous]

You know sometimes we just have to take a step back. I would not give this one more second of your attention. If your BIL reaches out you should tell him he needs to talk to the pediatrician- who can provide advice on babies and COVID. If she’s experiencing PPD she should speak to someone. It’s really his problem unfortunately. I would just stay out of it. You’re not going to win against a mom with a new baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, you’re posting so that you can get support from multiple internet strangers who can join you in piling on how “unreasonable “ your sister is?
Your sister gets to decide her own level of acceptable risk for herself — and to work out how to handle that with her husband.
Your sister is probably doing exactly what you have done — just with different conclusions and a different level of risk from yours.
That really is ok.

Maybe your SIL just wants to decide what to do in her own life without DH's family piling on OP.

It's up to her and dh what they decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few weeks ago, not sure why but my post was deleted. Gist is that my sister will not let anyone touch or hold her baby, except for her, her dh, and the live in nanny, “because of COVID.” All adults on family are vaxed, boosted, and some even have additional antibodies from having omicron. She agreed to two outdoor meet ups where family was allowed to double mask, stand a distance from baby and wave.

Many of you expressed opinions that we were pushing her and being unreasonable. I’ve let her be. There is now additional tension because her husband woujd like to travel domestically to see a sickly relative. She. Will. Not. Let. Him. #becausecovid

I had previously asked her if she’d like to take a stroller walk in a park or outdoors somewhere. We live in the south, warm weather. I’ll even wear masks outdoors for the walk (even though that goes against science, but whatever). She said she’s think about it and get back to me! I felt some encouragement that she would consider it.

She got back to me today. Nope! And in fact she has decided that there will be no more outdoor visits for her and baby. “Because a lot of people have been walking around outside and are in the parks lately because of the nice weather. A Lot of People around means It’s not safe.”

People thought I was flippant or being rude. That was not my intent. I am truly concerned because I don’t think she’s mentally or emotionally in a reasonable sound place. Her assessment of risk is totally off the wall. There is no acceptable amount of risk. She and the baby are literally staying in the house except for drs appts. Her dh is growing frustrated. She shuts down all conversations by saying “this isn’t safe” “someone Could get sick” “but it’s a pandemic”

We are at a loss. This isn’t about seeing touching the baby anymore. She is completely unreasonable.

I don't know where you live but where I live this is completely reasonable. I'd say your the one who needs therapy.