How stressed is your senior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids take drugs to stay up everywhere. It doesn’t matter if it’s Ivy or Texas Tech. Why is this so surprising?

Because it is really unhealthy, and a sign that something is not right.

The parents on this site really demonstrate why we have the country we do at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess we should just be thankful to have gotten into UMD but not gonna lie, UVA and ED Vanderbilt rejection hurt. I get it you need a hook, but caption of 2 varsity sports, close to perfect grades 35 ACT and class President. It seemed like he lowered the bar to not apply to IVY but wow, kid is super depressed.

I am really sorry to read this. My kid is in a similar boat. I am trying very hard to stay upbeat and absorb his stress so he can be happy. Secretly, I am very worried for him.

This is because many schools (both "elite" publics and privates) have not come to terms with the reality of college acceptances in the past few years. It's been moving in this direction for decades, but it's the frog in the boiling water scenario, so not noticed, at least not until the pandemic and test optional changed the numbers of applications flooding into USNWR top rated colleges.

The US population has grown exponentially, yet the number of "elite" colleges in the US has remained roughly the same over the past century. Getting into the top (HYPSM-level) schools IS a lottery, no question. Grade and test inflation have lead kids to believe they're "qualified" for these T20 schools, leaving them incredibly disappointed when they don't win the lottery and get accepted. Many Ivies and SLACs now accept less than 5% of their applicants. There is simply no way a child with perfect grades and test scores and great ECs is "guaranteed" admittance to any USNWR "top" school these days.

I don't know why college counselors don't explain this to parents and kids. It's all about numbers. Drop down in the USNWR rankings, and your child will go to a great school and get a fantastic education. There's no need to feel disappointed that your child is going to Tulane instead of Princeton! Both are great colleges! Your kid will be happy and do fine! 2+2=2 at CC and Harvard, don't forget.

Try to reassure your child, PPs. All their hard work is NOT in vain because they didn't get into their "dream" prestigious college. My DH went to a no-name college, and he makes 10 times what I make, and I went to a HYPSM college. None of this elite college crap matters in the long run. Try to convince your child of that if you can.

[Anonymous]

2+2=4 I meant!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess we should just be thankful to have gotten into UMD but not gonna lie, UVA and ED Vanderbilt rejection hurt. I get it you need a hook, but caption of 2 varsity sports, close to perfect grades 35 ACT and class President. It seemed like he lowered the bar to not apply to IVY but wow, kid is super depressed.

I am really sorry to read this. My kid is in a similar boat. I am trying very hard to stay upbeat and absorb his stress so he can be happy. Secretly, I am very worried for him.

This is because many schools (both "elite" publics and privates) have not come to terms with the reality of college acceptances in the past few years. It's been moving in this direction for decades, but it's the frog in the boiling water scenario, so not noticed, at least not until the pandemic and test optional changed the numbers of applications flooding into USNWR top rated colleges.

The US population has grown exponentially, yet the number of "elite" colleges in the US has remained roughly the same over the past century. Getting into the top (HYPSM-level) schools IS a lottery, no question. Grade and test inflation have lead kids to believe they're "qualified" for these T20 schools, leaving them incredibly disappointed when they don't win the lottery and get accepted. Many Ivies and SLACs now accept less than 5% of their applicants. There is simply no way a child with perfect grades and test scores and great ECs is "guaranteed" admittance to any USNWR "top" school these days.

I don't know why college counselors don't explain this to parents and kids. It's all about numbers. Drop down in the USNWR rankings, and your child will go to a great school and get a fantastic education. There's no need to feel disappointed that your child is going to Tulane instead of Princeton! Both are great colleges! Your kid will be happy and do fine! 2+2=2 at CC and Harvard, don't forget.

Try to reassure your child, PPs. All their hard work is NOT in vain because they didn't get into their "dream" prestigious college. My DH went to a no-name college, and he makes 10 times what I make, and I went to a HYPSM college. None of this elite college crap matters in the long run. Try to convince your child of that if you can.

Very nicely put.

[Anonymous]

I think private schools don’t want to reveal this, because one way they lure parents to pay big bucks when we live in an area with good (FREE) public schools is by convincing them it will somehow pave their way to an Ivy (bait and switch).

[Anonymous]

The publics might’ve been good for your kids, but they were awful for mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think private schools don’t want to reveal this, because one way they lure parents to pay big bucks when we live in an area with good (FREE) public schools is by convincing them it will somehow pave their way to an Ivy (bait and switch).

Good yes. Free no. The good public schools in my district cost a fortune and the education is high quality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess we should just be thankful to have gotten into UMD but not gonna lie, UVA and ED Vanderbilt rejection hurt. I get it you need a hook, but caption of 2 varsity sports, close to perfect grades 35 ACT and class President. It seemed like he lowered the bar to not apply to IVY but wow, kid is super depressed.

I am really sorry to read this. My kid is in a similar boat. I am trying very hard to stay upbeat and absorb his stress so he can be happy. Secretly, I am very worried for him.

This is because many schools (both "elite" publics and privates) have not come to terms with the reality of college acceptances in the past few years. It's been moving in this direction for decades, but it's the frog in the boiling water scenario, so not noticed, at least not until the pandemic and test optional changed the numbers of applications flooding into USNWR top rated colleges.

The US population has grown exponentially, yet the number of "elite" colleges in the US has remained roughly the same over the past century. Getting into the top (HYPSM-level) schools IS a lottery, no question. Grade and test inflation have lead kids to believe they're "qualified" for these T20 schools, leaving them incredibly disappointed when they don't win the lottery and get accepted. Many Ivies and SLACs now accept less than 5% of their applicants. There is simply no way a child with perfect grades and test scores and great ECs is "guaranteed" admittance to any USNWR "top" school these days.

I don't know why college counselors don't explain this to parents and kids. It's all about numbers. Drop down in the USNWR rankings, and your child will go to a great school and get a fantastic education. There's no need to feel disappointed that your child is going to Tulane instead of Princeton! Both are great colleges! Your kid will be happy and do fine! 2+2=2 at CC and Harvard, don't forget.

Try to reassure your child, PPs. All their hard work is NOT in vain because they didn't get into their "dream" prestigious college. My DH went to a no-name college, and he makes 10 times what I make, and I went to a HYPSM college. None of this elite college crap matters in the long run. Try to convince your child of that if you can.

Agree!
I would add this, it used to be that a few kids took AP classes. But now anyone can take whatever AP classes they want. So taking AP classes is no longer special and doesn’t set you apart from your peers. It’s keeping up with the Jones’s scenario, my friends kid took 15 APs so my kid has to take 16 APs. Is it so surprising that now everyone thinks their kid is a genius and deserves to go to a top 20 school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think private schools don’t want to reveal this, because one way they lure parents to pay big bucks when we live in an area with good (FREE) public schools is by convincing them it will somehow pave their way to an Ivy (bait and switch).

Actually, that is what I used to think. But if you go to Big 3, you are pretty much guaranteed unless you are at the bottom of the class n

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess we should just be thankful to have gotten into UMD but not gonna lie, UVA and ED Vanderbilt rejection hurt. I get it you need a hook, but caption of 2 varsity sports, close to perfect grades 35 ACT and class President. It seemed like he lowered the bar to not apply to IVY but wow, kid is super depressed.

I am really sorry to read this. My kid is in a similar boat. I am trying very hard to stay upbeat and absorb his stress so he can be happy. Secretly, I am very worried for him.

This is because many schools (both "elite" publics and privates) have not come to terms with the reality of college acceptances in the past few years. It's been moving in this direction for decades, but it's the frog in the boiling water scenario, so not noticed, at least not until the pandemic and test optional changed the numbers of applications flooding into USNWR top rated colleges.

The US population has grown exponentially, yet the number of "elite" colleges in the US has remained roughly the same over the past century. Getting into the top (HYPSM-level) schools IS a lottery, no question. Grade and test inflation have lead kids to believe they're "qualified" for these T20 schools, leaving them incredibly disappointed when they don't win the lottery and get accepted. Many Ivies and SLACs now accept less than 5% of their applicants. There is simply no way a child with perfect grades and test scores and great ECs is "guaranteed" admittance to any USNWR "top" school these days.

I don't know why college counselors don't explain this to parents and kids. It's all about numbers. Drop down in the USNWR rankings, and your child will go to a great school and get a fantastic education. There's no need to feel disappointed that your child is going to Tulane instead of Princeton! Both are great colleges! Your kid will be happy and do fine! 2+2=4 at CC and Harvard, don't forget.

Try to reassure your child, PPs. All their hard work is NOT in vain because they didn't get into their "dream" prestigious college. My DH went to a no-name college, and he makes 10 times what I make, and I went to a HYPSM college. None of this elite college crap matters in the long run. Try to convince your child of that if you can.

Very nicely put.

Yes! +1000

All of the people lamenting how their near-perfect stats kid didn't get in and "what does it take?!!!" simply don't understand the math. As a country we are producing far more top-caliber students than we did just 20 years ago. People need to stop thinking Ivy or T20 or the world has ended. T50 and state flagships are so much stronger than they used to be precisely because there isn't enough room at the "top" for all of the talented students. Anyone bemoaning "only" getting into UMD Honors needs to rethink their perspective. There is a reason why UMD has gotten so hard to get into and more programs have become limited enrollment. UMD has been enrolling top talent for 10 years and just gets stronger each year. Same thing for other state flagships. And while top students are so focused on their woes, they have overlooked that the glut of amazing students at state flagships has made those schools harder for above average students to get into. Those students are now filling second tier state schools, raising the caliber there. People may sneer at UMBC, but that program has grown much stronger over the past 10 years precisely because of the trickle down of more talented students who can't fit into the higher ranked schools.

Ranking may stay the same, but a rising tide floats all boats. Education has gotten stronger across the board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think private schools don’t want to reveal this, because one way they lure parents to pay big bucks when we live in an area with good (FREE) public schools is by convincing them it will somehow pave their way to an Ivy (bait and switch).

Good yes. Free no. The good public schools in my district cost a fortune and the education is high quality.

Houses are expensive for good school districts. The difference can easily go to tuition for private schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think private schools don’t want to reveal this, because one way they lure parents to pay big bucks when we live in an area with good (FREE) public schools is by convincing them it will somehow pave their way to an Ivy (bait and switch).

Actually, that is what I used to think. But if you go to Big 3, you are pretty much guaranteed unless you are at the bottom of the class n

IF that's true, it's largely because those schools are in a position to take only the most capable, hard-working, wealthiest, ambitious kids, who would probably get in regardless of where they attended high school.

[Anonymous]

My senior is pulling away too. She got into her EA, and most of her friend group got deferred or rejected from their EA app. The friends were shocked she got in, but they were only taking into account sat and gpa, which most had higher stats. She had what they did not which were Tier one EC's. High national rankings in sports, recruited, real non-profit, and stellar essays. Her friends spent very little time on the essays. Of course now she is saying but I could have been accepted into Princeton or Yale. I said please be happy with what you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My senior is pulling away too. She got into her EA, and most of her friend group got deferred or rejected from their EA app. The friends were shocked she got in, but they were only taking into account sat and gpa, which most had higher stats. She had what they did not which were Tier one EC's. High national rankings in sports, recruited, real non-profit, and stellar essays. Her friends spent very little time on the essays. Of course now she is saying but I could have been accepted into Princeton or Yale. I said please be happy with what you have.

Congrats to your daughter. I will say the level of recruited athletes at schools like Princeton and Yale can be extremely high...olympic caliber in some cases. There are ivy leaguers competing in the olympics right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My senior is pulling away too. She got into her EA, and most of her friend group got deferred or rejected from their EA app. The friends were shocked she got in, but they were only taking into account sat and gpa, which most had higher stats. She had what they did not which were Tier one EC's. High national rankings in sports, recruited, real non-profit, and stellar essays. Her friends spent very little time on the essays. Of course now she is saying but I could have been accepted into Princeton or Yale. I said please be happy with what you have.

Thank you for keeping her head in check. Those statements that I could have are very non-endearing for kids who got in, and elite sounding for those who did not. That attitude need to be corrected right away if she wants to have great friends.