I ruined my marriage with my soulmate
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Anonymous
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I ruined my 3 years marriage and 6 years relationship and been divorced 3 months ago. She did not feel valued and respected for years. I was avoidant. I was not emotionally available and was feeling depressed throughout our relationship for personal reasons (guilt over my old father who I felt I "abandoned" by moving to a different country, job below my qualifications). I was also a serial cheater. One day, I felt too much guilt and confessed to her (to one cheating only). I also thought she deserved to know. Even after confessing, I was still acting like an entitled piece of shit, sending flirting messages to women, which she found out. This started a process that led to the divorce.
It has been 3 months and I am hitting rock bottom every day. It is hell. She was my soulmate. My everything. I can't live without her. I am empty. The divorce took the little sense of self I had. I am consumed with regrets, guilt, self-hatred and remorses. I also am a covert narcissist. Doing therapy. Death and suicide are always on my mind, but I am too scared to hurt myself. I just can't live without her and can't accept that I repeatedly did everything to ruin the most precious thing I ever had. While she now feels happy without me. I can't live with myself. |
Anonymous
| Shame and regret can be soul-crushing. Recognizing your mistakes and working to fix yourself (in therapy) will help so much. Your next relationship- and you can have a great next relationship- will benefit from your self-reflection and work. Even now, you matter. Don’t hurt yourself. |
Anonymous
| Yuck. |
Anonymous
| So your wife is your soul mate? Not the various APs and other women you had? You are not hers now. |
Anonymous
| Learn from this. Don’t make the same mistakes with a woman in your future. Give yourself time to heal. Let your ex go. She deserves to put this behind her. You both deserve happiness in the future on different paths. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like this was written by a woman who was cheated on |
Anonymous
| What is it with people feeling empathy for someone whose own actions make him a piece of shit? People with NPD have no capacity themselves for love or empathy and thus also for healthy, meaningful relationships. They also think too much of themselves to self-harm, so no one should be worrying about the OP on that account. |
Anonymous
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“Soulmate”
Puke. Grow up, OP. What are you, a middle schooler? |
Anonymous
| Your grief is temporary. It's just a twinge of pain because you are no longer the center of attention. You will soon find other women to try to fill the bottomless pit of selfishness within you. Luckily for you, women are interchangeable and disposable. This is the pattern for the rest of your life - you won't be happy because you can't find happiness in another person. You have to be content with yourself. Keep searching dating apps, though - you might find THE ONE. And the one after that, and the one after that. |
Anonymous
| You brought this on yourself you crying @$$ mother f#*@&$@. Shut your b*%-%/ @$$ up and get on with your life and back inside of what got you in trouble in the first place. Then find a new "soulmate" after you've gotten your piece wet enough to stop crying yourself to sleep. You sound like a b!?#& by the way, hope your father isn't ashamed of you. |
Anonymous
| Cool story, bro |
Anonymous
| Why are these troll posts always at 11:30pm? |
Anonymous
| She was not your soulmate. Grow up. |
Anonymous
Ouch! Harsh, but true. Well said |
Anonymous
| You have a lot of work to do on yourself. A lot. Dig deep and face the ugly truth that led you to treat someone you loved so horribly. At this point she’s not your soulmate, she’s your victim. |