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[quote=Anonymous]I ruined my 3 years marriage and 6 years relationship and been divorced 3 months ago. She did not feel valued and respected for years. I was avoidant. I was not emotionally available and was feeling depressed throughout our relationship for personal reasons (guilt over my old father who I felt I "abandoned" by moving to a different country, job below my qualifications). I was also a serial cheater. One day, I felt too much guilt and confessed to her (to one cheating only). I also thought she deserved to know. Even after confessing, I was still acting like an entitled piece of shit, sending flirting messages to women, which she found out. This started a process that led to the divorce.

It has been 3 months and I am hitting rock bottom every day. It is hell. She was my soulmate. My everything. I can't live without her. I am empty. The divorce took the little sense of self I had. I am consumed with regrets, guilt, self-hatred and remorses. I also am a covert narcissist. Doing therapy.

Death and suicide are always on my mind, but I am too scared to hurt myself. I just can't live without her and can't accept that I repeatedly did everything to ruin the most precious thing I ever had. While she now feels happy without me.

I can't live with myself. [/quote]

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