DH demanding sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So why aren’t you having sex w your husband?
May want to have a convo with him on what the issues are..

I’m tired and don’t want nightly sex. I feel the max I can have is twice a week. He wants at least 4 times a week. That’s hard for most women.

Most women don't have 24/7 childcare help and spa days

Your kids are young but tha'ts suspicious as you only mentioned it when people were laying into you. Final verdict: troll

I don’t have 24/7 childcare. We had a night nanny 3x a week during the first 3 months. We have a par time nanny come 3x a week for 5 hours a day to help with older child.

The spa day isn’t always. He bought me two spa days so far.

I didn’t think age of kids was super relevant.

Mother of two here -
I think you are super pampered.

SO pampered! A night nanny for 3 months and 15 hours of help every week!

Who cares if op is pampered?

[Anonymous]

I feel like there are other issues going on here.

I think sex is probably just what you are using to express different needs. He’s unhappy and that’s something easy. He can point too. But something else is going on. I refuse to believe if you were actually having sex 2 to 3 times a week which sounds like you are, and if you up to 4 to 5 or 6 times a week all your marriage problems would clear up.

He’s trying to gain more control in the relationship or he’s having trouble adapting to fatherhood or something but don’t think it’s a matter of just more sex.

[Anonymous]

Are the posters here missing that this woman is 3.5 months out from giving birth? The fact that this guy is getting sex 2x a week already is unusual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one should force you to have sex. Your husband isn’t entitled to your body because he’s nice to you. Parenting his own kids isn’t going above and beyond. He’s a jerk.

Not exactly a jerk. He’s communicating his relational needs like an adult rather than staying silent and resentful, and then eventually getting sex elsewhere.

Like an adult? Uh, no, he sounds like a pimp. But, no, not an adult.

Really?

Tell us: how does it sound when a wife/mother expresses to her husband that her sexual needs are not being met, and the man needs to put out more?

Is she a pimp too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one should force you to have sex. Your husband isn’t entitled to your body because he’s nice to you. Parenting his own kids isn’t going above and beyond. He’s a jerk.

Not exactly a jerk. He’s communicating his relational needs like an adult rather than staying silent and resentful, and then eventually getting sex elsewhere.

Like an adult? Uh, no, he sounds like a pimp. But, no, not an adult.

Really?

Tell us: how does it sound when a wife/mother expresses to her husband that her sexual needs are not being met, and the man needs to put out more?

Is she a pimp too?

If a woman came her complaining her husband didn't give her sex 4x a week when he was 3 months out of a major medical incident and saying "I pay for his stuff so he owes me more sex", yes, she'd be raked over the coals.

[Anonymous]

I'd have a hard time getting past this - doing nice things for your spouse should have NO STRINGS. OP HAS AN INFANT. She owes him NOTHING. I cannot believe anyone is defending him.
Does she "owe" him sex when she gets breast cancer and he gets her food or drives her to chemo?
Does she owe him sex if she gets sick and he has to do some extra around the house?

She carried and birthed his children. She deserves recovery time. She deserves emotional closeness, not simply throwing money at the problem. Because that's all he's doing. She is not getting love or empathy. This is a transaction, not a relationship.

OP - your life is about to get very very long. You should start couples therapy immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh told me he expects sex from me because he gives me a comfortable life.

You should consider yourself lucky. Most women here complain about not getting enough sex from their husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh told me he expects sex from me because he gives me a comfortable life.

You should consider yourself lucky. Most women here complain about not getting enough sex from their husbands.

Not at 3 months post partum, they don't.

[Anonymous]

I got nothing for about a year, when the kids were babies. Very active sex life before. Now, it has normalized again to almost every day.

Could you tell him to adjust his expectations? If he loves you, he will for sure.

[Anonymous]

[quote=

I don’t withhold because he asks for sex. I just don’t have sex every time he asks because I don’t want it. We are still having sex twice a week and usually one more that includes service for just him. I think that’s reasonable when you have a 3.5 month old and an almost 2 year old.

Context

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got nothing for about a year, when the kids were babies. Very active sex life before. Now, it has normalized again to almost every day.

Could you tell him to adjust his expectations? If he loves you, he will for sure.

+1 it's not reasonable to expect that much sex when you are still < 1 year post partum. My hormones were still out of whack for almost a year after giving birth. I was always so tired. I was also working.

After almost 4 years from when the youngest was born, we made some changes in our lives and reduced the stress waay down. My body was fully recovered from kids, and our sex life came roaring back.

I know DH was upset about the lack of sex, too. But we both soldiered through stressful times and came out for the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recoil viscerally when I think of a man demanding sex from a women he feels entitled to get it from.

Might be the biggest turn off of all time.

Major turn off.

[Anonymous]

3 holes - use one.