Elementary kids, small house, how do couples have sex?

[Anonymous]

I'm one of four kids. My parents told us not to disturb adult nap times unless the house was on fire. We would just play outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My paternal grandparents must have had some kind of scheme because they managed to have 5 kids while living in a 1-bedroom apt. for many many years. Mom and girls in the bedroom while dad and boys were in the living room.

I can't believe I am thinking about this but I just figured it out. My grandmother was a SAHM and my grandfather worked split shifts. I guess they were noon-ers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, and I should mention that I have asked my husband to install a lock on the door many times to prevent any unforeseen bust-ins, and he just...forgets.

A door lock isn’t that hard to install. You could do it by following the instructions or watching a YT video.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just gave up worrying about it. Remember that in prairie days people had one room cabins and still managed to have sex. People all over the world have sex in close quarters. And if our kids overhear? Well, at least they know their middle-aged parents still enjoy a healthy sex life.

Then again, I’m one of those mothers who gives her teen daughters vibrators.

In the prairie days women didn't have a way to decline.

On the prairie / on the farm kids knew early on how the young were conceived and born. DH loves re-telling his grandfather's stories of seeing the animals mate, then helping the animals who were having trouble birth-ing. He would pull out the calves, etc from their mothers. The grandfather said he knew early on if his momma would be having another baby soon. Those farm / prairie houses were tiny with no soundproofing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just gave up worrying about it. Remember that in prairie days people had one room cabins and still managed to have sex. People all over the world have sex in close quarters. And if our kids overhear? Well, at least they know their middle-aged parents still enjoy a healthy sex life.

Then again, I’m one of those mothers who gives her teen daughters vibrators.

In the prairie days women didn't have a way to decline.

On the prairie / on the farm kids knew early on how the young were conceived and born. DH loves re-telling his grandfather's stories of seeing the animals mate, then helping the animals who were having trouble birth-ing. He would pull out the calves, etc from their mothers. The grandfather said he knew early on if his momma would be having another baby soon. Those farm / prairie houses were tiny with no soundproofing.

People weren't so precious about these things back then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just gave up worrying about it. Remember that in prairie days people had one room cabins and still managed to have sex. People all over the world have sex in close quarters. And if our kids overhear? Well, at least they know their middle-aged parents still enjoy a healthy sex life.

Then again, I’m one of those mothers who gives her teen daughters vibrators.

In the prairie days women didn't have a way to decline.

On the prairie / on the farm kids knew early on how the young were conceived and born. DH loves re-telling his grandfather's stories of seeing the animals mate, then helping the animals who were having trouble birth-ing. He would pull out the calves, etc from their mothers. The grandfather said he knew early on if his momma would be having another baby soon. Those farm / prairie houses were tiny with no soundproofing.

They probably weren't doing their best to replicate porn scenes back then thus no real need for soundproofing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, Can you use the basement as your bedroom? I know plenty of couples with kids who do this.

Importantly, why don't you mind that you are not having sex with your husband?

OP here: I "do", but its not so important to me that I would ever move into our gross basement or stay up until 1am to sneak down there on a Tuesday. it's just not a top-of-mind priority for me where I'm constantly trying to outsmart my kids to bang my husband in a shower/closet/backyard. I think my husband wished that were my mindset and the desire was so overwhelming that I would just HAVE to initiate and find a way, but he cares much more about regular sex. Apparently not enough to install a lock though, which would make me feel more comfortable and assuage my very real and confirmed fear of a bust-in, even if they did hear something.

[Anonymous]

This is why the Japanese have love motels!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, Can you use the basement as your bedroom? I know plenty of couples with kids who do this.

Importantly, why don't you mind that you are not having sex with your husband?

OP here: I "do", but its not so important to me that I would ever move into our gross basement or stay up until 1am to sneak down there on a Tuesday. it's just not a top-of-mind priority for me where I'm constantly trying to outsmart my kids to bang my husband in a shower/closet/backyard. I think my husband wished that were my mindset and the desire was so overwhelming that I would just HAVE to initiate and find a way, but he cares much more about regular sex. Apparently not enough to install a lock though, which would make me feel more comfortable and assuage my very real and confirmed fear of a bust-in, even if they did hear something.

So you're both just testing each other and playing games. Got it.

[Anonymous]

these are all interesting ideas, especially the basement, but I wouldn’t even want to with the kids home. Just doesn’t feel sexy or fun. This is why we send them to summer camp for 8 weeks and otherwise try to find time here or there but I just can’t get into it knowing they’re one or two doorways over if if they’re sleeping.

[Anonymous]

I think the prairie day comparisons are really bad. It’s only in fairly modern time that we have been prioritizing women’s pleasure at all. It used to just be that the man would just need an outlet and the woman would comply. I really don’t think there was a lot of women getting oral back in the Prairie days, it seemed very functional to either get pregnant or get the man off.

Feel like women today, and rightly so, expect more and that’s why some of us have more trouble. I posted earlier that we just don’t like to have sex in our small house when our teens are in the house. I need a little time and I need to be able to relax a bit I’m not worried about being heard or interrupted. So yeah, we try to plan it a bit more and it means less frequency and less spontaneity but it works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the prairie day comparisons are really bad. It’s only in fairly modern time that we have been prioritizing women’s pleasure at all. It used to just be that the man would just need an outlet and the woman would comply. I really don’t think there was a lot of women getting oral back in the Prairie days, it seemed very functional to either get pregnant or get the man off.

Feel like women today, and rightly so, expect more and that’s why some of us have more trouble. I posted earlier that we just don’t like to have sex in our small house when our teens are in the house. I need a little time and I need to be able to relax a bit I’m not worried about being heard or interrupted. So yeah, we try to plan it a bit more and it means less frequency and less spontaneity but it works for us.

Yeah... no thanks.

[Anonymous]

My sister lives in Japan with a Japanese husband and the kids there generally sleep in the same BED with the parents and she's managed to conceive 3 times. I kind of asked for details and she acted like I was crazy "They're asleep of course."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister lives in Japan with a Japanese husband and the kids there generally sleep in the same BED with the parents and she's managed to conceive 3 times. I kind of asked for details and she acted like I was crazy "They're asleep of course."

This is how most of the world works. Only Americans have this particular mix of tacky vulgarity and miserable prudishness that is demonstrated so often on this board.

[Anonymous]

Safer, from the perspective of fire safety, for bedroom doors to be closed when people are sleeping.