If private school is a financial stretch for you, has it been worth it?

[Anonymous]

Has not been worth it for us for K-8 given that we live in an area where the public schools are excellent. I cringe at the idea that my kids would have had over a million dollars in their portfolio by the time they graduate college had we invested that money in some fund that follows the market.

It has been totally worth it for high school though but both kids went to catholic high schools which were well worth the money. They would not have had that experience at the local public high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved our kids from public to private years ago. It was and is a stretch, but we don't regret it.

People move their kids to private for a variety of reasons. For us, it was because of the environment. You only get one childhood and we didn't want our kids spending their childhood having to deal with bomb threats and lock downs, fights in the halls, afraid to use the bathrom during the day, unruly kids in the classroom, etc. I wouldn't want to spend years having to deal with the above, why would I ask my child to do so?

We did compromise and send our kids to a cheaper private though.

Why didn't you move to a better school district?

If you went to a religious private indoctrination yeah you are dumb.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't really pay off for college admits, but my kids loved being in a private school starting in 7th and 6th grade respectively and we made between 300-500K while they were there.

[Anonymous]

It will be a significant hit to your future net worth.

I'm a mom of 3 kids ages 14, 19, and 22. Our youngest did public for K-8, but is now in private for 9th. Our other 2 kids did private K-12.

Our income was similar to yours, and we had some grandparent help with tuition.

At the risk of stating the obvious, our net worth is definitely lower than it would have been if our kids had gone to public. Since we had 2 working parents, we figured that private school would be worth it since we did not have a SAHP to oversee everything more thoroughly than 2 working parents can do. (Note to self: I do hope that my 3 kids can have one SAHP if they choose to have kids. But I digress . . . )

At your income (and with 3 kids), private school is definitely a huge hit to your future net worth. Many people at private school are not necessarily paying tuition from their income. Instead, they are paying tuition from (a) assets; or (b) grandparents. They don't pay on a monthly plan, like we always have.

There was a recent thread on the Money/Finance forum about how it's totally common to have $3 million in net worth at age 55. A surprising number of people did this on government salaries -- the key was no private school.

One idea is to try your local public school for elementary school (K-5), and then go private. This approach is wealthy close-in suburbs, in my experience. The elementary schools are wonderful, and then you make friends in the neighborhood, which is so beneficial. (With my older 2 kids who went private K-12, they were a bit more lonely because they had fewer friends in the neighborhood. Everything required a parent-arranged playdate, sometimes with someone who lived 5-10 miles away.

BTW, even if the public schools are not always great, the college placements out of public high schools can be very good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved our kids from public to private years ago. It was and is a stretch, but we don't regret it.

People move their kids to private for a variety of reasons. For us, it was because of the environment. You only get one childhood and we didn't want our kids spending their childhood having to deal with bomb threats and lock downs, fights in the halls, afraid to use the bathrom during the day, unruly kids in the classroom, etc. I wouldn't want to spend years having to deal with the above, why would I ask my child to do so?

We did compromise and send our kids to a cheaper private though.

Why didn't you move to a better school district?

If you went to a religious private indoctrination yeah you are dumb.

These things happen in all MCPS high schools.

[Anonymous]

People would be surprised how many teachers in private schools send their kids to public school even when offered tuition remission. It is because we know the education in this area can be similar. It’s odd to not see if your kid would do well in a public school, if you have good options. Trend wise, we are now seeing a few kids leave private for more rigorous or innovative programs in public or for a better social experience. If you are tired and want more freedom it sounds like you should consider a different mix. But only you know where you live and what those school options are or whether you can move for better.

[Anonymous]

I think people are overestimating the ability to get into good privates at a later grade. But, to answer the question: I am sorry I enrolled my two DCs in private school PreK-12 and then private colleges. Their father and I separated during the college decision period and later divorced. He continues to tell lies about me and as a result my DCs are estranged.

[Anonymous]

Could you do a more affordable K-8?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotally, my parents and my in-laws made similar incomes.

My parents moved to the burbs and sent us through solid publics. My in-laws sent their kids to expensive privates. My parents now have significantly more money than my in-laws and we will inherit this money. It continues to grow.

The problem with private school is that it’s a very large fixed expense. It’s as large as a mortgage, yacht payment etc. Would you go and buy a yacht on your income and spend $4-5k a month on it? I get that it’s education, but you can also educate your children for free in a good public school district.

I think my in-laws wasted a lot of money on public schools and my husband and his siblings agree. They now the to make their kids feel guilty about how much they spent like they had any clue how much private K was.

I would never send my typically developing kid to a private during the elementary years…total waste of money. Started sending to her private during middle school after I saw what a sh—-show the public middle schools were. Totally worth the expense imo

I disagree. There is way too much screentime in public ES.

+1 So much screentime.

[Anonymous]

Yes, 2 at Holton. They've been there five years and so far, completely worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People would be surprised how many teachers in private schools send their kids to public school even when offered tuition remission. It is because we know the education in this area can be similar. It’s odd to not see if your kid would do well in a public school, if you have good options. Trend wise, we are now seeing a few kids leave private for more rigorous or innovative programs in public or for a better social experience. If you are tired and want more freedom it sounds like you should consider a different mix. But only you know where you live and what those school options are or whether you can move for better.

Funny you say that. I work at a good public school and know so many colleagues who have decided to send their kids to private school. Particularly during the pandemic and they never went back.

[Anonymous]

I have two in high school that have been in private school since PK. Yes, it’s been a financial strain and, yes, that has caused stress for us. However, I believe it’s been worth every penny and would do the same thing again without hesitation.

My kids have teachers who know them well and my kids feel inspired by them. They are surrounded by kind, high-achieving, well-rounded kids. They’ve had athletic and EC opportunities they wouldn’t have had otherwise. They do tons of writing, give many presentations and have been taught to think critically rather than just think for a test. I recall a moment in middle school when my ADHD child told me how it wasn’t hard paying attention in class because it felt like a discussion rather than a lecture, which he would have tuned out.

My kids were not exposed to kids who did drugs or had sex in middle school, which kept them innocent a bit longer. We have some neighborhood kids who attend a highly rated public school and would talk about fights and the drugs and used condoms in the bathroom- my kids were horrified by this.

Other than the cost, I can’t think of one drawback to my kids’ educational experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People would be surprised how many teachers in private schools send their kids to public school even when offered tuition remission. It is because we know the education in this area can be similar. It’s odd to not see if your kid would do well in a public school, if you have good options. Trend wise, we are now seeing a few kids leave private for more rigorous or innovative programs in public or for a better social experience. If you are tired and want more freedom it sounds like you should consider a different mix. But only you know where you live and what those school options are or whether you can move for better.

My experience was the opposite. It was the public school teachers and counselors who kindly took me aside to let me know their kids were either in Catholic or Independent schools.

Once my kids entered the Independent schools, I learned that much financial aid goes to the children of public school teachers. It makes total sense when you read anything about how public school teachers rate their work environments.

We spent a ton of money, got FA for some years, and skipped many vacations while driving old cars.

We have no regrets, believing it was the best thing we ever did for our kids. One is now a working college graduate and the other is a HS senior.

Good luck to all of you. It’s really a shame. We both went to public schools and never anticipated having to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but this is why people move to the suburbs. No chance I would send 3 kids to private in DC on 500K. Our HHI is close to 1M and I still don't like it, but I do it because I want to be in the city. Almost everyone in your price range just sucks it up and moves to Bethesda or Potomac or Arlington, etc. and sends their special snowflake to public like 98% of the country.

Actually in my neighborhood at least 1/2 of the kids are in Independent or Catholic schools if not in a public magnet or IB program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People would be surprised how many teachers in private schools send their kids to public school even when offered tuition remission. It is because we know the education in this area can be similar. It’s odd to not see if your kid would do well in a public school, if you have good options. Trend wise, we are now seeing a few kids leave private for more rigorous or innovative programs in public or for a better social experience. If you are tired and want more freedom it sounds like you should consider a different mix. But only you know where you live and what those school options are or whether you can move for better.

Funny you say that. I work at a good public school and know so many colleagues who have decided to send their kids to private school. Particularly during the pandemic and they never went back.

I was surprised by that comment, as well. I’m a former public school teacher. Comfortably half of my colleagues sent their own kids to area privates.