If private school is a financial stretch for you, has it been worth it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 2 kids in private with an HHI of 320. It’s hard, but doable and totally worth it for us. Our third will start school in 1 year (2024). Our income should go up to 340-360, but honestly if income does not go up, I am not sure how we can make it happen. We are a big 3 and have experience public for 1 year and it was a night and day experience for us.

Similar income with 2 kids at a Big3. We got no aid for 2 kids but now almost full aid for kid #3 (who will start this fall in 9th). I think schools are more generous with aid when it's a limited (4 yr) commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 2 kids in private with an HHI of 320. It’s hard, but doable and totally worth it for us. Our third will start school in 1 year (2024). Our income should go up to 340-360, but honestly if income does not go up, I am not sure how we can make it happen. We are a big 3 and have experience public for 1 year and it was a night and day experience for us.

Similar income with 2 kids at a Big3. We got no aid for 2 kids but now almost full aid for kid #3 (who will start this fall in 9th). I think schools are more generous with aid when it's a limited (4 yr) commitment.

Thank you. That’s good to know. We started in K/PK so I doubt we would get any help, but we might try. You child must be a rockstar to get almost full aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotally, my parents and my in-laws made similar incomes.

My parents moved to the burbs and sent us through solid publics. My in-laws sent their kids to expensive privates. My parents now have significantly more money than my in-laws and we will inherit this money. It continues to grow.


I disagree. There is way too much screentime in public ES.

That's why I'm sending my 3 to private. Way too much time on screens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotally, my parents and my in-laws made similar incomes.

My parents moved to the burbs and sent us through solid publics. My in-laws sent their kids to expensive privates. My parents now have significantly more money than my in-laws and we will inherit this money. It continues to grow.

The problem with private school is that it’s a very large fixed expense. It’s as large as a mortgage, yacht payment etc. Would you go and buy a yacht on your income and spend $4-5k a month on it? I get that it’s education, but you can also educate your children for free in a good public school district.

I think my in-laws wasted a lot of money on public schools and my husband and his siblings agree. They now the to make their kids feel guilty about how much they spent like they had any clue how much private K was.

I would never send my typically developing kid to a private during the elementary years…total waste of money. Started sending to her private during middle school after I saw what a sh—-show the public middle schools were. Totally worth the expense imo

I disagree. There is way too much screentime in public ES.

Have you had a child in a public elementary school? How is private so much less screen time?

Yes my first was in public K-1 (pre-Covid). Way too much screentime. Moved over to private and much better. So I moved the second one over starting K.

I agree. Way too much screen time in the public schools these days. That's why my 3 children are attending private school.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s worth it if your child(ren) are not being served by your assigned public. Honestly, I would always start with public and move to private if/when the need arises. I am a parent of two children who went through two different private schools due to their needs not being met at our assigned school. No matter my income that is how I would approach the situation.

So, to answer your question, for us it was a big stretch, but we made it happen because my children’s education was more important to us than other large non essential expenditures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest of 3 is in a wonderful independent school for kindergarten. Or middle child is in preschool at a top school discussed on this Board. Our youngest is still a baby.

Our kindergartener is a hesitant and sometimes anxious kiddo and has been doing really well at his school. He's really thriving. We love our preschool and have seen both kids thrive there. We've never experienced public school so we have nothing to compare to but our oldest in particular is the kind of kid that I think could get lost in a big public school.

That said.... the price of all of this is pretty crushing. Our income is in the $500K range and the cost of 3 kids in private school for 15 years each (including preschool, before college) is kind of mind blowing. I believe these are special schools that will be great for my kids and it's been my approach to do everything I can to support their development.... but I also feel really, really tired and like we are always striving for something more... and that this private school choice leaves us no space to do less intense jobs or take some time off if we need it. (I am admittedly feeling professionally burnt out right now and started a new job without taking some much-needed time off because we couldn't afford the lack of income.) I'm just not sure if it's worth it. We aren't behaving irresponsibly by making this financial commitment but we absolutely are not saving much beyond retirement.

For those who are making good income but not uber wealthy / in a situation where money is no object -- and are toward the end of the journey, would you make the choice again?

Please don't pick apart if we should feel this way based on the income we are bringing in. That's not the point. The point is that we do feel stretched and I am surprised by the emotional toll of it. I feel tired and I don't really want to feel this way for the next 20 years. But I also know that my kids are my world and I would regret it if it pulled them out of an excellent environment and then saw them struggle so that my life felt easier.

We recently decided to withdraw our son from one of the $50K+ schools in DC. While they have impressive facilities thanks to their resources, the curriculum is similar to what you’d find at DCPS NW or a Catholic school.

We’re opting for a much more affordable school now and plan to save the $50K+ for high school and college. Like you, we’re tired and want to use the money for other things like more traveling, buying vacation houses, more activities for us and the kids. I met a mother last week who plan to do the exact same things this year with her daughter.

The funny part is that many of our very wealthy friends (I’m talking $50M+ net worth) are sending their kids to affordable schools or public schools and refuse to go for the ‘big three,’ for example.
It’s a choice you have to make based on what you feel comfortable with. Start by slowly visiting more affordable schools and public schools—it will give you an idea of whether it’s the right decision for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest of 3 is in a wonderful independent school for kindergarten. Or middle child is in preschool at a top school discussed on this Board. Our youngest is still a baby.

Our kindergartener is a hesitant and sometimes anxious kiddo and has been doing really well at his school. He's really thriving. We love our preschool and have seen both kids thrive there. We've never experienced public school so we have nothing to compare to but our oldest in particular is the kind of kid that I think could get lost in a big public school.

That said.... the price of all of this is pretty crushing. Our income is in the $500K range and the cost of 3 kids in private school for 15 years each (including preschool, before college) is kind of mind blowing. I believe these are special schools that will be great for my kids and it's been my approach to do everything I can to support their development.... but I also feel really, really tired and like we are always striving for something more... and that this private school choice leaves us no space to do less intense jobs or take some time off if we need it. (I am admittedly feeling professionally burnt out right now and started a new job without taking some much-needed time off because we couldn't afford the lack of income.) I'm just not sure if it's worth it. We aren't behaving irresponsibly by making this financial commitment but we absolutely are not saving much beyond retirement.

For those who are making good income but not uber wealthy / in a situation where money is no object -- and are toward the end of the journey, would you make the choice again?

Please don't pick apart if we should feel this way based on the income we are bringing in. That's not the point. The point is that we do feel stretched and I am surprised by the emotional toll of it. I feel tired and I don't really want to feel this way for the next 20 years. But I also know that my kids are my world and I would regret it if it pulled them out of an excellent environment and then saw them struggle so that my life felt easier.

We recently decided to withdraw our son from one of the $50K+ schools in DC. While they have impressive facilities thanks to their resources, the curriculum is similar to what you’d find at DCPS NW or a Catholic school.

We’re opting for a much more affordable school now and plan to save the $50K+ for high school and college. Like you, we’re tired and want to use the money for other things like more traveling, buying vacation houses, more activities for us and the kids. I met a mother last week who plan to do the exact same things this year with her daughter.

The funny part is that many of our very wealthy friends (I’m talking $50M+ net worth) are sending their kids to affordable schools or public schools and refuse to go for the ‘big three,’ for example.
It’s a choice you have to make based on what you feel comfortable with. Start by slowly visiting more affordable schools and public schools—it will give you an idea of whether it’s the right decision for you.

I agree with this approach and would explore your options. With the stress OP is outlining, I don't think staying where they are is a good option. Tuition increases almost annually and they're at the start of the road. We started public and then moved to an affordable option once our kids were older and we knew what kind of school would best fit them, and us. I have no desire to be in the Big 3 and have been really happy with our parochial school. We also enjoyed your public, but opted to leave because the amount of supplementing we were doing wasn't how I wanted to spend our free time. However, I know many people that make their public option work just as well, or better, than privates because they have the extra income to supplement (classes, extracurriculars, trips and camps).

For OP, look around. If you're feeling the strain and stress of the cost now, I would move.

[Anonymous]

The difference in schools between certain areas of DC and the surrounding suburbs is very real, so it's hard to compare between posts on this thread since some people opting for public have good public options and their experience and decision making process is very different than those with neighborhood schools that are not viable options. We are EOTP in DC, do not have a good public option, and did very poorly in the lottery. We have weighed the costs of moving or staying put and going to private and we've decided not moving is right for us at this time.

[Anonymous]

It all depends on the kids and how much parents value what private schools offer (academically, socially, etc).

My kids are at 2 Big 3 (after trying our well rated NW DCPS) and the difference for us is huge.

We give up on everything else (except vacations) to make it work.

If going out to restaurants to eat is important to you or buying new clothes , etc is important for you and cannot afford both, you may not want to go private.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you a made up fantasy family?

If anything in your OP is true, you must have financial planners falling all over themselves trying to court your business. They could actually answer your question with some degree of accuracy.

[Anonymous]

We have 1 child and a modest income compared to many in private school. We tried a very well-regarded DCPS and our child was not thriving so we pulled her. Private school has been a much better experience but also has tradeoffs. For example, private school can coddle the students and students are dispersed, which is an issue especially when younger. Had we had multiple children, we may well have opted for the suburbs and done public with a lot of enrichment.

I would try public first and then go to private or move if it is not working for you and your family. So many great kids entered our independent in middle school who had the benefit of a neighborhood school and the parents were confident as to what their child needed at that point versus some of the families whose parents had the "Just go private" mentality and have been there since the beginning.

Whatever you decide, make sure you are saving for retirement and funding 529b as those are critically important long-term.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest of 3 is in a wonderful independent school for kindergarten. Or middle child is in preschool at a top school discussed on this Board. Our youngest is still a baby.

Our kindergartener is a hesitant and sometimes anxious kiddo and has been doing really well at his school. He's really thriving. We love our preschool and have seen both kids thrive there. We've never experienced public school so we have nothing to compare to but our oldest in particular is the kind of kid that I think could get lost in a big public school.

That said.... the price of all of this is pretty crushing. Our income is in the $500K range and the cost of 3 kids in private school for 15 years each (including preschool, before college) is kind of mind blowing. I believe these are special schools that will be great for my kids and it's been my approach to do everything I can to support their development.... but I also feel really, really tired and like we are always striving for something more... and that this private school choice leaves us no space to do less intense jobs or take some time off if we need it. (I am admittedly feeling professionally burnt out right now and started a new job without taking some much-needed time off because we couldn't afford the lack of income.) I'm just not sure if it's worth it. We aren't behaving irresponsibly by making this financial commitment but we absolutely are not saving much beyond retirement.

For those who are making good income but not uber wealthy / in a situation where money is no object -- and are toward the end of the journey, would you make the choice again?

Please don't pick apart if we should feel this way based on the income we are bringing in. That's not the point. The point is that we do feel stretched and I am surprised by the emotional toll of it. I feel tired and I don't really want to feel this way for the next 20 years. But I also know that my kids are my world and I would regret it if it pulled them out of an excellent environment and then saw them struggle so that my life felt easier.

We recently decided to withdraw our son from one of the $50K+ schools in DC. While they have impressive facilities thanks to their resources, the curriculum is similar to what you’d find at DCPS NW or a Catholic school.

We’re opting for a much more affordable school now and plan to save the $50K+ for high school and college. Like you, we’re tired and want to use the money for other things like more traveling, buying vacation houses, more activities for us and the kids. I met a mother last week who plan to do the exact same things this year with her daughter.

The funny part is that many of our very wealthy friends (I’m talking $50M+ net worth) are sending their kids to affordable schools or public schools and refuse to go for the ‘big three,’ for example.
It’s a choice you have to make based on what you feel comfortable with. Start by slowly visiting more affordable schools and public schools—it will give you an idea of whether it’s the right decision for you.

I'm always perplexed when people talk about how much money their friends have...PP do your friends go around telling other people they have north of $50 million? Not one of my friends has ever told me how much money they have. Is this really something people talk about but I've managed to live 45 years without ever hearing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you a made up fantasy family?

If anything in your OP is true, you must have financial planners falling all over themselves trying to court your business. They could actually answer your question with some degree of accuracy.

Not sure why you're questioning OP. 500k income is probably 250k take home after taxes and retirement. Paying three expensive private schools out of the 250k is tight. Doable but tight. Because there's still an expensive mortgage too and the everyday living expenses.

[Anonymous]

No and I say this knowing how wonderful SOME private schools are, but your income may not keep up with the rate of tuition increases times three. Don’t forget college tuition times three! There is no way I would make the decision again given the unpredictable nature of education costs and college admissions.

[Anonymous]

First of all, where do you live and what are the actual neighborhood schools? For k-5 if money is a stretch, private school is almost never worth it. Middle school and high school are what matters most to whether your kid will end up stealing from CVS or pregnant.