If private school is a financial stretch for you, has it been worth it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotally, my parents and my in-laws made similar incomes.

My parents moved to the burbs and sent us through solid publics. My in-laws sent their kids to expensive privates. My parents now have significantly more money than my in-laws and we will inherit this money. It continues to grow.

The problem with private school is that it’s a very large fixed expense. It’s as large as a mortgage, yacht payment etc. Would you go and buy a yacht on your income and spend $4-5k a month on it? I get that it’s education, but you can also educate your children for free in a good public school district.

I think my in-laws wasted a lot of money on public schools and my husband and his siblings agree. They now the to make their kids feel guilty about how much they spent like they had any clue how much private K was.

I would never send my typically developing kid to a private during the elementary years…total waste of money. Started sending to her private during middle school after I saw what a sh—-show the public middle schools were. Totally worth the expense imo

[Anonymous]

Faced similar situation and decided it didn’t make good financial sense. These schools are for the rich who don’t feel it at all and those able to get aid. The full pay folks in the middle get squeezed.

[Anonymous]

I only have 1 but make about half what you make. It really depends. Worth it because he was struggling in public and is doing well in private….l wouldn’t have considered private in the first place though if he was doing well in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Faced similar situation and decided it didn’t make good financial sense. These schools are for the rich who don’t feel it at all and those able to get aid. The full pay folks in the middle get squeezed.

What is the “middle?”

[Anonymous]

We’re on $750k w one kid and I’m totally made uncomfortable by the whole thing, but it’s more on principle then pure logic, which I get. Spending $20k to send your kid somewhere I get, but that’s not an option. The fact it’s $45k or overcrowded schools makes me sick. It’s all in extremes and it’s hard for me to sit with.

It also bothers me that it makes a huge impact on my husband and my future. That’s our child’s future when it comes to spending when they’re adults. I know it’s not totally black-and-white, but I do see things like, would I rather give them a down payment on a mortgage? Or send them to private school? Which would be a better leg up in life? If I’m in early retirement because they went to public and thus can help fund other aspects of their life, which might be better? I don’t have any answers to this, but I think for me, it very quickly gets outside the numbers and into our values and it really leaves me torn to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Best money I don’t have that I’ve ever spent. Low expectations in public school pushed me toward private MS and HS. I sent him to Catholic schools and got FA which helped since it was a stretch on my public teaching salary.

That’s not what OP is considering. She’s not FA and she’s not looking at Catholics.

DP. Isn’t it the same issue, though? Justifying the cost?

We send two to a Catholic high school, paying about $40K on $250K salary. The OP makes more, but is also looking at spending more.

It’s worth every penny to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re on $750k w one kid and I’m totally made uncomfortable by the whole thing, but it’s more on principle then pure logic, which I get. Spending $20k to send your kid somewhere I get, but that’s not an option. The fact it’s $45k or overcrowded schools makes me sick. It’s all in extremes and it’s hard for me to sit with.

It also bothers me that it makes a huge impact on my husband and my future. That’s our child’s future when it comes to spending when they’re adults. I know it’s not totally black-and-white, but I do see things like, would I rather give them a down payment on a mortgage? Or send them to private school? Which would be a better leg up in life? If I’m in early retirement because they went to public and thus can help fund other aspects of their life, which might be better? I don’t have any answers to this, but I think for me, it very quickly gets outside the numbers and into our values and it really leaves me torn to be honest.

At $750k, with one kid in private, you should be able to do all those things.

[Anonymous]

My income is about 450k, I live in DC, and I have two kids who are headed to very expensive schools next year. It's going to be hard and we will give up things. But as someone who experienced what public school was like for my Black child, I know it is money well spent. I went to private schools growing up and my parents sacrificed to send me. And I firmly believe that after the elite prep school I attended, it mattered less where I went to college. I learned more about how to navigate the business world from high school and even though I didn't attend an Ivy League college, I am working right along side people who did - and often running circles around them. So, even though it will be expensive and hard - I am going to spend it and not regret a cent of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you. I'm a parent considering private school now for my three kids. HHI of $900k and a relatively low mortgage ($400k house, $2800/mo). And still the cost of private school is a major factor in our decision making process. About $100k/year in after tax dollars to send our three. I don't want to work forever but I want a retirement income that doesn't feel like a step back, so we need to save and invest a lot. Tuition would seriously impede our ability to do that, and it would also impact our travel budget, and just our general relaxed feeling about money. Three kids are expensive - all of the activities, enrichment, clothes, food, childcare for the baby. And like you said - when you add up the cost of a 13 year education for three kids - it most certainly is staggering. We are currently in public now and kids are doing well and are happy, but I am wrestling with whether we should move them to private to give them the best education we can.

You’re not in dc if you have a $400k HOUSE. And it sounds like private school is only $30k a kid where you live.

NP. Seriously. Flyover or hicksville South. Why even bother to post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re on $750k w one kid and I’m totally made uncomfortable by the whole thing, but it’s more on principle then pure logic, which I get. Spending $20k to send your kid somewhere I get, but that’s not an option. The fact it’s $45k or overcrowded schools makes me sick. It’s all in extremes and it’s hard for me to sit with.

It also bothers me that it makes a huge impact on my husband and my future. That’s our child’s future when it comes to spending when they’re adults. I know it’s not totally black-and-white, but I do see things like, would I rather give them a down payment on a mortgage? Or send them to private school? Which would be a better leg up in life? If I’m in early retirement because they went to public and thus can help fund other aspects of their life, which might be better? I don’t have any answers to this, but I think for me, it very quickly gets outside the numbers and into our values and it really leaves me torn to be honest.

You need a financial planner, stat. And lay of the credit cards.

[Anonymous]

1. Your current choice doesn’t have to be your forever choice. We are planning to send my daughter to private for K-8 and my son for K-2, but will definitely take advantage of the excellent high schools in FCPS

2. Parental stress affects kids. I am sure any child would prefer a slightly chaotic school environment + happy home environment over a perfect education but harried stressed-out parents. Most public schools around here are pretty decent, and getting a more relaxed job means you will have time to supplement any gaps

[Anonymous]

My parents blamed me for sending me to private school, starting when. I was 6.
It made no sense whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re on $750k w one kid and I’m totally made uncomfortable by the whole thing, but it’s more on principle then pure logic, which I get. Spending $20k to send your kid somewhere I get, but that’s not an option. The fact it’s $45k or overcrowded schools makes me sick. It’s all in extremes and it’s hard for me to sit with.

It also bothers me that it makes a huge impact on my husband and my future. That’s our child’s future when it comes to spending when they’re adults. I know it’s not totally black-and-white, but I do see things like, would I rather give them a down payment on a mortgage? Or send them to private school? Which would be a better leg up in life? If I’m in early retirement because they went to public and thus can help fund other aspects of their life, which might be better? I don’t have any answers to this, but I think for me, it very quickly gets outside the numbers and into our values and it really leaves me torn to be honest.

You need a financial planner, stat. And lay of the credit cards.

+1. One of the dumbest posts I have ever read (and we have a larger income)

[Anonymous]

I promise kids who go to big public schools are A ok. They are not suffering. They are successful. Only send your kid if you need to. Special needs. Anxiety. Quirky. Privates are filled with these kids and it helps them. If you're kid is more normal, don't be worried about a public. Or only go if you're loaded and have 500k you don't want to invest elsewhere.
signed by a parent who regrets sending kid to private
Don't act out of fear. Drive by your publics. You'll see lot's of happy kids, smart parents too.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not worth it for elementary school - maybe it makes sense in middle if your child is struggling or you really think the private high school options are better and you need to get your kid into the private school.