If private school is a financial stretch for you, has it been worth it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, at $500k this should be manageable. Maybe not trivial but hardly gut wrenching.

It’s probably 25% or take home pay.

[Anonymous]

Decide where your priorities are. Pretty simple.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Best money I don’t have that I’ve ever spent. Low expectations in public school pushed me toward private MS and HS. I sent him to Catholic schools and got FA which helped since it was a stretch on my public teaching salary.

[Anonymous]

Anecdotally, my parents and my in-laws made similar incomes.

My parents moved to the burbs and sent us through solid publics. My in-laws sent their kids to expensive privates. My parents now have significantly more money than my in-laws and we will inherit this money. It continues to grow.

The problem with private school is that it’s a very large fixed expense. It’s as large as a mortgage, yacht payment etc. Would you go and buy a yacht on your income and spend $4-5k a month on it? I get that it’s education, but you can also educate your children for free in a good public school district.

I think my in-laws wasted a lot of money on public schools and my husband and his siblings agree. They now the to make their kids feel guilty about how much they spent like they had any clue how much private K was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you. I'm a parent considering private school now for my three kids. HHI of $900k and a relatively low mortgage ($400k house, $2800/mo). And still the cost of private school is a major factor in our decision making process. About $100k/year in after tax dollars to send our three. I don't want to work forever but I want a retirement income that doesn't feel like a step back, so we need to save and invest a lot. Tuition would seriously impede our ability to do that, and it would also impact our travel budget, and just our general relaxed feeling about money. Three kids are expensive - all of the activities, enrichment, clothes, food, childcare for the baby. And like you said - when you add up the cost of a 13 year education for three kids - it most certainly is staggering. We are currently in public now and kids are doing well and are happy, but I am wrestling with whether we should move them to private to give them the best education we can.

You’re not in dc if you have a $400k HOUSE. And it sounds like private school is only $30k a kid where you live.

Yup, you got me. I'm not in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Best money I don’t have that I’ve ever spent. Low expectations in public school pushed me toward private MS and HS. I sent him to Catholic schools and got FA which helped since it was a stretch on my public teaching salary.

That’s not what OP is considering. She’s not FA and she’s not looking at Catholics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you. I'm a parent considering private school now for my three kids. HHI of $900k and a relatively low mortgage ($400k house, $2800/mo). And still the cost of private school is a major factor in our decision making process. About $100k/year in after tax dollars to send our three. I don't want to work forever but I want a retirement income that doesn't feel like a step back, so we need to save and invest a lot. Tuition would seriously impede our ability to do that, and it would also impact our travel budget, and just our general relaxed feeling about money. Three kids are expensive - all of the activities, enrichment, clothes, food, childcare for the baby. And like you said - when you add up the cost of a 13 year education for three kids - it most certainly is staggering. We are currently in public now and kids are doing well and are happy, but I am wrestling with whether we should move them to private to give them the best education we can.

You’re not in dc if you have a $400k HOUSE. And it sounds like private school is only $30k a kid where you live.

Yup, you got me. I'm not in DC.

I'm guessing Baltimore, hon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotally, my parents and my in-laws made similar incomes.

My parents moved to the burbs and sent us through solid publics. My in-laws sent their kids to expensive privates. My parents now have significantly more money than my in-laws and we will inherit this money. It continues to grow.

The problem with private school is that it’s a very large fixed expense. It’s as large as a mortgage, yacht payment etc. Would you go and buy a yacht on your income and spend $4-5k a month on it? I get that it’s education, but you can also educate your children for free in a good public school district.

I think my in-laws wasted a lot of money on public schools and my husband and his siblings agree. They now the to make their kids feel guilty about how much they spent like they had any clue how much private K was.

This! ONLY SEND YOUR KID TO PRIVATE IF THEY ARE NOT DOING WELL IN PUBLIC. (Or if you are RICH). We have a very similar experience and it is also playing out with our kids. One did not do well in public, had very mild ADHD/anxiety but too big was too much and now he is in a small school. My younger public school kid has a curriculum that is equally stimulating and he is doing great. We would not dream of switching him and we could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotally, my parents and my in-laws made similar incomes.

My parents moved to the burbs and sent us through solid publics. My in-laws sent their kids to expensive privates. My parents now have significantly more money than my in-laws and we will inherit this money. It continues to grow.

The problem with private school is that it’s a very large fixed expense. It’s as large as a mortgage, yacht payment etc. Would you go and buy a yacht on your income and spend $4-5k a month on it? I get that it’s education, but you can also educate your children for free in a good public school district.

I think my in-laws wasted a lot of money on public schools and my husband and his siblings agree. They now the to make their kids feel guilty about how much they spent like they had any clue how much private K was.

This! ONLY SEND YOUR KID TO PRIVATE IF THEY ARE NOT DOING WELL IN PUBLIC. (Or if you are RICH). We have a very similar experience and it is also playing out with our kids. One did not do well in public, had very mild ADHD/anxiety but too big was too much and now he is in a small school. My younger public school kid has a curriculum that is equally stimulating and he is doing great. We would not dream of switching him and we could.

Makes you wonder why you hear how stressful some privates are. The kids who attend have are the kid that always needed extra.

[Anonymous]

If you excessively worry over the cost of private....then I think you are answering your own question that it is not "worth it".

I honestly don't know what the answer could be for you as to why it is worth it, since everyone has a different definition. Seems like you should consider moving to a suburban school district that has highly regarded, but smaller public schools (Poolesville is one that comes to mind at least for HS which is only 1200 kids) or consider the application or magnet schools.

There is also no requirement you send your kids to $50k/year privates. There are definitely cheaper options...even a school like Maret is significantly cheaper than Sidwell (I think like $36k vs. $50k+ which seems strange to me), and certainly Catholic schools are cheaper.

[Anonymous]

NO, NO, NO.

1)I'm sure if you're making a combined $500K your jobs are probably both reasonably busy and stressful. It sucks to work hard and make that much money and then have to live like you're making half of it because the first $150K post tax is given straight to a school. You make a lot of money but $150K is a LOT of your post tax income.

2)We'd all love to put our kids in super quiet classrooms of 12 kids where the teachers know and love every single quirk our children have. The reality is that this isn't necessary or probably even ideal for 95% of kids. Learning to navigate a less than ideal situation is ultimately good for kids to learn how to manage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you. I'm a parent considering private school now for my three kids. HHI of $900k and a relatively low mortgage ($400k house, $2800/mo). And still the cost of private school is a major factor in our decision making process. About $100k/year in after tax dollars to send our three. I don't want to work forever but I want a retirement income that doesn't feel like a step back, so we need to save and invest a lot. Tuition would seriously impede our ability to do that, and it would also impact our travel budget, and just our general relaxed feeling about money. Three kids are expensive - all of the activities, enrichment, clothes, food, childcare for the baby. And like you said - when you add up the cost of a 13 year education for three kids - it most certainly is staggering. We are currently in public now and kids are doing well and are happy, but I am wrestling with whether we should move them to private to give them the best education we can.

You’re not in dc if you have a $400k HOUSE. And it sounds like private school is only $30k a kid where you live.

Yup, you got me. I'm not in DC.

I'm guessing Baltimore, hon!

Pittsburgh actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you excessively worry over the cost of private....then I think you are answering your own question that it is not "worth it".

I honestly don't know what the answer could be for you as to why it is worth it, since everyone has a different definition. Seems like you should consider moving to a suburban school district that has highly regarded, but smaller public schools (Poolesville is one that comes to mind at least for HS which is only 1200 kids) or consider the application or magnet schools.

There is also no requirement you send your kids to $50k/year privates. There are definitely cheaper options...even a school like Maret is significantly cheaper than Sidwell (I think like $36k vs. $50k+ which seems strange to me), and certainly Catholic schools are cheaper.

This year (2022-23), Upper School tuition at Maret is $45,530 (including the new student fee). That cost does not include books, athletics, and other fees. Tuition for 2023-24 will be at least $2,200 more. While Maret is cheaper than Sidwell, it certainly isn’t “significantly” less expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you. I'm a parent considering private school now for my three kids. HHI of $900k and a relatively low mortgage ($400k house, $2800/mo). And still the cost of private school is a major factor in our decision making process. About $100k/year in after tax dollars to send our three. I don't want to work forever but I want a retirement income that doesn't feel like a step back, so we need to save and invest a lot. Tuition would seriously impede our ability to do that, and it would also impact our travel budget, and just our general relaxed feeling about money. Three kids are expensive - all of the activities, enrichment, clothes, food, childcare for the baby. And like you said - when you add up the cost of a 13 year education for three kids - it most certainly is staggering. We are currently in public now and kids are doing well and are happy, but I am wrestling with whether we should move them to private to give them the best education we can.

You’re not in dc if you have a $400k HOUSE. And it sounds like private school is only $30k a kid where you live.

Yup, you got me. I'm not in DC.

I'm guessing Baltimore, hon!

Pittsburgh actually.

That's surprising, I thought life was pretty affordable there. I think you really need to look at your spending if yinz feel pinched even in Pittsburgh.

[Anonymous]

No. Should have done public and put the money in an investment account.