Do public school parents feel superior to private school ones?

[Anonymous]

I feel like all the private school parents are apologetic, saying things like, "It was the best fit for our child" or "Public was simply not an option for us", and public school parents are really proud, saying things like, "We're definitely public school folks!"

[Anonymous]

I have felt this way too. We are in upper NW DC and this is a not-rare exchange where I live.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my SIL said "we're public school people" to me last weekend. But now our DC are at an independent, so what can I say? I worry about the trade-offs, but try not to dwell on them.

[Anonymous]

You have to know you are opening up a can of worms by asking that question. I have never lived in a suburb my enire life. So, when I think of public schools -- I think of the worst -- chipped paint, stinky bathrooms, terrible teachers and schools.

I am Jewish and all of my Jewish friends give me considerable grief for sending my kid to a private school. They just love public schools. So, we don't talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

It is weird. I feel like I have to slunk around at the baseball games the moment all these Janney or Hardy parents arrive. I feel so dirty.

I am nice, damn it!

[Anonymous]

Sure I feel this. I feel like I need to justify and explain, but it is really MY own insecurities. For every person who seems to give me eyebrows about choice, there are 10 people who really could give a shit, so......

[Anonymous]

I think it's a "the best defense in a good offense" scenario in upper NW. Especially since many proud "public school people" will be trying to get their kids into independents come middle school. I have respect for people who stick it out through HS -- at that point the argument from principle is credible. But if public is just for elementary and elementary is an affluent neighbhorhood school, then more often than not the logic seems to be "hey, it's good enough and it's free." Nothing wrong with that logic and in other circumstances (more kids, different kid, less money), I'd make the same choice. But it's hardly the moral high ground. It's just a rational assessment of financial and educational priorities.

[Anonymous]

I know what you mean. I went to Harvard and I have lots of experience of smiling amiably while a casual acquaintance sings the praises of Podunk U, her alma mater, while I make vague comments about going North for school. It is just convention --- the party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground, and the party with more choice gets to mumble self-deprecatory comments. Keeps conversation going. No real significance to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a "the best defense in a good offense" scenario in upper NW. Especially since many proud "public school people" will be trying to get their kids into independents come middle school. I have respect for people who stick it out through HS -- at that point the argument from principle is credible. But if public is just for elementary and elementary is an affluent neighbhorhood school, then more often than not the logic seems to be "hey, it's good enough and it's free." Nothing wrong with that logic and in other circumstances (more kids, different kid, less money), I'd make the same choice. But it's hardly the moral high ground. It's just a rational assessment of financial and educational priorities.

Gosh, I really agree with this! I know some parents that just put it out there "I AM SAVING $$$, and then we are getting the hell out in 6th" and I totally respect that. But then I have people who I KNOW aren't staying and yet give me the "you hate diversity, you want people with less than you to fail, you think you are better, you spoil your kid" crap. I mean, if they really believed that, then great, but I know SOME of these people have applied to the big privates, got rejected, and were left with no choices. So their morally superior attitude really GRATES. And meanwhile, nothing would make me happier than if this country got its act together and provided a decent education...

[Anonymous]

I live in a neighborhood with highly regarded schools-ES, MS and HS. I have chosen to send my son to private though. Not b/c there is anything wrong with the schools but b/c I choose not to have him be taught to the test. I couldn't care less about the testing mandated by NCLB so I went the private school route. The moms with kids my son's age understand why I did it and I think a lot of them wish they had too since they complain about the ES all the time from the lame overemphasis on worksheets to the lack of recess and PE, art, etc.

[Anonymous]

Who cares? Just ignore them. That's what I do when I hear private school parents saying assinine things about public school students and familiies. (We're in private now.) There are transgressions on both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in a neighborhood with highly regarded schools-ES, MS and HS. I have chosen to send my son to private though. Not b/c there is anything wrong with the schools but b/c I choose not to have him be taught to the test. I couldn't care less about the testing mandated by NCLB so I went the private school route. The moms with kids my son's age understand why I did it and I think a lot of them wish they had too since they complain about the ES all the time from the lame overemphasis on worksheets to the lack of recess and PE, art, etc.

Where do you guys live that there is no recess, PE, art in the publics? My child is in FCPS. She has PE three times a week, art one (maybe 2 but I think one) time per week, Music one to two times per week, recess twice a day and Chinese two times a week. Sure, they teach to the test, but it hasn't been oppressive yet -- I may change my mind. BTW, my child is in 2nd grade and this is her first year in public. She seems to be learning much more this year than she was in private (in another city), but that may be a function of her hitting her stride so to speak.

I find the question posed kind of amusing because usually on this forum I find the private school parents always dogging on the public, not so much the other way around. I don't feel superior to private school parents (maybe because I've done both). I just felt that the publics here are so highly rated that we should give it a try before taking out what would be essentially a second mortgage to send our kids to private. It has been the right decision for us so far.

[Anonymous]

I didn't mean to say that there is no recess, PE, music, etc. It is limited. Once a week for PE, etc for 45 mins. Recess is maybe once a day for 15 mins even for the little K kids. It is work all day even starting in K. Heavy emphasis on test prep, lots of dittos. Lots of busywork for homework. Most kids in our neighborhood hate going to school and can't wait to be finished or to have a day off. Not what I want for my son.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Two of my kids go to a parish school and i frequently get the in your face response to what school my kids go to as "abc local public school" has better academics or better x, y, and z. Frankly I don't care to argue about it as i think school choice is a personal one so i just say "you may be right" and let it go. Or i just avoid mentioning what school my kids go to (which actually IS a great school in my opinion).