DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I may be an outlier here but I think she should go. I bet the same parents who complain about their teens being self centered and entitled are the same parents who would give their 16 year old a pass to attend her younger cousin’s bday party. You are a FAMILY! That’s what family members do. We are lucky that be surrounded by extended family and all the cousins, young and old, attend each others bday parties. The older kids take care of the younger ones. It’s just part of the responsibilities of being a member of a family.

Wrong! And this is why many older kids don't want to have kids. They have already raised yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes she should attend. Why are you coddling her? She sounds like a brat

A 16 year old is not a brat because she doesn't want to attend a new five year old birthday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My nieces and nephews are about ten years older than my kids too, and they never came or any of their parties. They also made clear that they had no interest in my kids more generally. Now they are in their twenties and have zero relationship with them.

Make her go. It going means she won’t be invited in the future and little kids are people and notice these things.

You don't know if the older kids had gone to your kid's birthdays they would be close. Just because you are related doesn't mean you get along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I may be an outlier here but I think she should go. I bet the same parents who complain about their teens being self centered and entitled are the same parents who would give their 16 year old a pass to attend her younger cousin’s bday party. You are a FAMILY! That’s what family members do. We are lucky that be surrounded by extended family and all the cousins, young and old, attend each others bday parties. The older kids take care of the younger ones. It’s just part of the responsibilities of being a member of a family.

Wrong! And this is why many older kids don't want to have kids. They have already raised yours.

Are you serious ?! Taking care of younger cousins for a couple of hours once a month or so at family gatherings now means “ raising them” ?!
No wonder this country is in serious decline. Very few people value the importance of family !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teenager should not have to go. This isn’t so much a family event as a 5yr old birthday party with their friends to which family is also invited. The teenager has an established relationship and will see them at other times. Have a family dinner if you want family to celebrate.

I agree with this. The birthday child won't have any idea that the cousin isn't there as they will be so busy with their friends. And your daughter will just be miserable and make your husband miserable. If he wants to go, great. But she's old enough that she can decide that she wants to stay at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I may be an outlier here but I think she should go. I bet the same parents who complain about their teens being self centered and entitled are the same parents who would give their 16 year old a pass to attend her younger cousin’s bday party. You are a FAMILY! That’s what family members do. We are lucky that be surrounded by extended family and all the cousins, young and old, attend each others bday parties. The older kids take care of the younger ones. It’s just part of the responsibilities of being a member of a family.

Wrong! And this is why many older kids don't want to have kids. They have already raised yours.

Are you serious ?! Taking care of younger cousins for a couple of hours once a month or so at family gatherings now means “ raising them” ?!
No wonder this country is in serious decline. Very few people value the importance of family !

The 16 yr old isn't just watching younger cousins, she's in charge of random kids at a birthday party that she doesn't know. She's free labor. At least pay her because she doesn't care about her cousins 5 yr old pre school besties that she'll likely never see again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I may be an outlier here but I think she should go. I bet the same parents who complain about their teens being self centered and entitled are the same parents who would give their 16 year old a pass to attend her younger cousin’s bday party. You are a FAMILY! That’s what family members do. We are lucky that be surrounded by extended family and all the cousins, young and old, attend each others bday parties. The older kids take care of the younger ones. It’s just part of the responsibilities of being a member of a family.

Wrong! And this is why many older kids don't want to have kids. They have already raised yours.

Are you serious ?! Taking care of younger cousins for a couple of hours once a month or so at family gatherings now means “ raising them” ?!
No wonder this country is in serious decline. Very few people value the importance of family !

No this country is not in serious decline because one 16 year old doesn't want to attend a five year cousin's birthday party. Get a grip. My Mom was the youngest of 7 and was expected to help babysit all her sisters/brothers kids for free. If she is forced to go she should be paid if she works.

Personally if I were her i would be sick and get to stay home that way. The five year old won't care!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I may be an outlier here but I think she should go. I bet the same parents who complain about their teens being self centered and entitled are the same parents who would give their 16 year old a pass to attend her younger cousin’s bday party. You are a FAMILY! That’s what family members do. We are lucky that be surrounded by extended family and all the cousins, young and old, attend each others bday parties. The older kids take care of the younger ones. It’s just part of the responsibilities of being a member of a family.

Wrong! And this is why many older kids don't want to have kids. They have already raised yours.

+100

[Anonymous]

She should go if she doesn’t have another commitment. Man, teenagers can be so difficult. Little kids love having big kids at their parties. We just had our DC’s 5th birthday yesterday and our 14 yo played with all the kids and the little kids genuinely loved it. It’s a little bratty for her to refuse to go, imo.

[Anonymous]

I am in the "Have her go" camp. It's family. What you learn by being part of an extended family is invaluable. Sometimes it is annoying; sometimes it is joyful; and sometimes the unexpected happens. If she likes kids, great. If not, oh well. Tell the birthday kid "Happy Birthday" and be socially appropriate for a few hours. It costs your child nothing to be polite and civil.

[Anonymous]

Don't make her go, especially if she is going to get roped into being a babysitter. After a long week at school, most teens don't want to deal with a bunch of screaming preschoolers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in the "Have her go" camp. It's family. What you learn by being part of an extended family is invaluable. Sometimes it is annoying; sometimes it is joyful; and sometimes the unexpected happens. If she likes kids, great. If not, oh well. Tell the birthday kid "Happy Birthday" and be socially appropriate for a few hours. It costs your child nothing to be polite and civil.

Yes! + 100 !

[Anonymous]

This is why old people in America get stuck in nursing homes. We no longer value family. OP is upset that husband is “choosing” this party of their daughter’s game? The teenager does not want to go? My oldest son is 17 and our two youngest are 6 and 7. The 17 year old goes to the younger kids parties be it his siblings or younger family members. He does not complain. Is he happy to go? No… does he deal with it? Yes… it’s about making memories and connections. The day is not about OP’s daughter and her feelings. She can put that aside along with her enjoyment for a couple of hours. She can help out for a couple of hours.

[Anonymous]

Would he make his 16yo ds go? No, he would not. And he certainly wouldn't be expected to 'watch' or 'help' the other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should go if she doesn’t have another commitment. Man, teenagers can be so difficult. Little kids love having big kids at their parties. We just had our DC’s 5th birthday yesterday and our 14 yo played with all the kids and the little kids genuinely loved it. It’s a little bratty for her to refuse to go, imo.

Irrelevant.