DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't expect any family members to go to your daughter's graduation party then. Such events things are objectively boring for most of the guests and I guess you have the approach that showing up for family doesn't matter.

If it's a graduation party for teenagers, like this party for five year old friends, it's better that relatives don't show up anyhow or stay upstairs with the adults.

It's too bad there aren't family members or family friends there her own age, but mingling with others is an important social and life skill. I expect My 14yo to at least try and make conversation with adults as well as young children instead of emerging from the cave only to interact with other teens. Mine is capable of this and even enjoys it. Maybe it's because she has been in this situation at plenty of gatherings and I remind her it's important to be polite and take an interest in others, especially when it's family.

But what about all the 5 year olds who aren't families? Some of you are so fixated on the "family" thing you failed to notice this is a party for school friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't expect any family members to go to your daughter's graduation party then. Such events things are objectively boring for most of the guests and I guess you have the approach that showing up for family doesn't matter.

If it's a graduation party for teenagers, like this party for five year old friends, it's better that relatives don't show up anyhow or stay upstairs with the adults.

It's too bad there aren't family members or family friends there her own age, but mingling with others is an important social and life skill. I expect My 14yo to at least try and make conversation with adults as well as young children instead of emerging from the cave only to interact with other teens. Mine is capable of this and even enjoys it. Maybe it's because she has been in this situation at plenty of gatherings and I remind her it's important to be polite and take an interest in others, especially when it's family.

But what about all the 5 year olds who aren't families? Some of you are so fixated on the "family" thing you failed to notice this is a party for school friends.

You are pretty fixated on the teen being the only teen as though the horror will be scarring. There will be adults at this party too. If she really wants a challenge socially, then she can converse with the grownups. I don't get it. Mine wouldn't even batt an eyelash at being invited to such a party. She would happily go even if it wasn't her top choice of how to spend an afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all - very good points made here.

She just told me she wants to compromise by going to the party if she can go to her "friend" that's a boy's house tonight. Which I'm also not comfortable with as I don't know him or his family at all.. ah the saga continues.

Did everyone miss this post from OP? The child sounds like a spoiled brat and like she is up to no good. Even more reason that she needs to be around family instead of up under a boy.

She drives a hard bargain. She's not, in fact, 5 like her cousin. Too bad most of her family won't even be at the "family party" watch your own kids instead of getting free labor from family who don't want to come to your parties.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all - very good points made here.

She just told me she wants to compromise by going to the party if she can go to her "friend" that's a boy's house tonight. Which I'm also not comfortable with as I don't know him or his family at all.. ah the saga continues.

Did everyone miss this post from OP? The child sounds like a spoiled brat and like she is up to no good. Even more reason that she needs to be around family instead of up under a boy.

She drives a hard bargain. She's not, in fact, 5 like her cousin. Too bad most of her family won't even be at the "family party" watch your own kids instead of getting free labor from family who don't want to come to your parties.

If this is your attitude towards family and people in general, I genuinely feel bad for you. Your community probably won’t want to be there for you either when things get tough, since you can’t be bothered to be there for anyone else unless it suits you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't expect any family members to go to your daughter's graduation party then. Such events things are objectively boring for most of the guests and I guess you have the approach that showing up for family doesn't matter.

If it's a graduation party for teenagers, like this party for five year old friends, it's better that relatives don't show up anyhow or stay upstairs with the adults.

It's too bad there aren't family members or family friends there her own age, but mingling with others is an important social and life skill. I expect My 14yo to at least try and make conversation with adults as well as young children instead of emerging from the cave only to interact with other teens. Mine is capable of this and even enjoys it. Maybe it's because she has been in this situation at plenty of gatherings and I remind her it's important to be polite and take an interest in others, especially when it's family.

But what about all the 5 year olds who aren't families? Some of you are so fixated on the "family" thing you failed to notice this is a party for school friends.

You are pretty fixated on the teen being the only teen as though the horror will be scarring. There will be adults at this party too. If she really wants a challenge socially, then she can converse with the grownups. I don't get it. Mine wouldn't even batt an eyelash at being invited to such a party. She would happily go even if it wasn't her top choice of how to spend an afternoon.

Cue the poster who complains about people who include their teens in adult socialization, so the adult can't talk about drugs and sex and be generally boorish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let’s be clear. This is SIL/BIL getting free babysitting so they can enjoy the party. What sucks is that your DH and his sibling sound like such jerks that they won’t even show any appreciation for the teenager who gets to work her butt off all day so they can converse. How nice for the jerks.

I personally do not let crap like this fly. I’d be clear with DH that this has zero to do with being there for family, it’s having your daughter work all day for your sibling and pretending it’s for her benefit. I’d tell him he’s exploiting her and not recognizing either intentionally or foolishly what is going on.


+1. Venues like Pump it Up is expensive. Sounds like the parents want free labor and the teenage girl to be smiling while she does it.

Welcome to the reality of doing things you don't necessarily want to do for family. My husband is the parent liaison for my son's sports team (not soccer), I stepped up to be an assistant troop leader for my daughter's troop when no one else would. My daughter likely is too young to be much help, but if we wanted my son to help at a cousin's party, he would be there and be reasonably pleasant while doing it.

You know, some parents would be very unpleasantly surprised to learn that your teen son was supervising their little girls.

DP. You are messed up.

It’s true tho. No parent wants a strange male teen around their child.

Hi. I'm a parent and not a psycho who thinks every teen boy is raping groups of 5 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't expect any family members to go to your daughter's graduation party then. Such events things are objectively boring for most of the guests and I guess you have the approach that showing up for family doesn't matter.

If it's a graduation party for teenagers, like this party for five year old friends, it's better that relatives don't show up anyhow or stay upstairs with the adults.

It's too bad there aren't family members or family friends there her own age, but mingling with others is an important social and life skill. I expect My 14yo to at least try and make conversation with adults as well as young children instead of emerging from the cave only to interact with other teens. Mine is capable of this and even enjoys it. Maybe it's because she has been in this situation at plenty of gatherings and I remind her it's important to be polite and take an interest in others, especially when it's family.

But what about all the 5 year olds who aren't families? Some of you are so fixated on the "family" thing you failed to notice this is a party for school friends.

You are pretty fixated on the teen being the only teen as though the horror will be scarring. There will be adults at this party too. If she really wants a challenge socially, then she can converse with the grownups. I don't get it. Mine wouldn't even batt an eyelash at being invited to such a party. She would happily go even if it wasn't her top choice of how to spend an afternoon.

Cue the poster who complains about people who include their teens in adult socialization, so the adult can't talk about drugs and sex and be generally boorish.

That poster is the adult version of the teen in question I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don't expect any family members to go to your daughter's graduation party then. Such events things are objectively boring for most of the guests and I guess you have the approach that showing up for family doesn't matter.

lol you think that's a threat? You think grads want or need their cousins there when they are busy with their classmates?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't expect any family members to go to your daughter's graduation party then. Such events things are objectively boring for most of the guests and I guess you have the approach that showing up for family doesn't matter.

lol you think that's a threat? You think grads want or need their cousins there when they are busy with their classmates?

Extend this to weddings, showers, funerals, nursing home visits, etc. I guess some people prefer to live in a vacuum. That's fine I guess, but I do find it weird and not ideal.