Why do people have to use the phrase “ we don’t do...”

[Anonymous]

When I hear this phrasing, which is usually from nervous and very white first time moms, I picture the mom, her bearded wimpy husband, and kid getting together at some point and decreeing,”we don’t do ___.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did I post this? At a 3yr old birthday today my friend had on a Batman shirt, and was pretending to be Batman and I mentioned how my son is obsessed with Batman right now and one of the moms quickly said “oh we don’t do super heroes, we stick to pbs, I hope this doesn’t limit his play with the other children.”

Haha, this mom will lose her mind when her kid goes to school. My kid has never played fortnite, but he knows ALL about it from friends. He's learned all about things he's never been exposed to at home. Some wouldn't be my choice, but that's life. She needs to loosen the reins a bit.

It starts before elementary school. My DD came home from her 2 day a week preschool asking for paw patrol shirts and we never watched it at home. I actually didn’t know what it was! They start picking up things from friends VERY early, it’s a loosing battle to try to stop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We served organic juice boxes and water at five year old’s Birthday. I’ll never forget the mom who awkwardly tried to take the juice out of her kid’s hand and repeated, three times, “it’s just that we don’t do juice.” So strange.

I love that you had to include that the juice was organic. Never stop giving, DCUM. Never stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did I post this? At a 3yr old birthday today my friend had on a Batman shirt, and was pretending to be Batman and I mentioned how my son is obsessed with Batman right now and one of the moms quickly said “oh we don’t do super heroes, we stick to pbs, I hope this doesn’t limit his play with the other children.”

It will limit his play with other children. He won't understand what they're doing.

Nah, he'll pick it up quickly. If his mother hears, though, she may get the vapors.

I can attest to how quickly he'll pick it up. My kid knows all about TV shows she's never seen, video games she's never played, etc. It won't limit his play. He'll play superheroes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did I post this? At a 3yr old birthday today my friend had on a Batman shirt, and was pretending to be Batman and I mentioned how my son is obsessed with Batman right now and one of the moms quickly said “oh we don’t do super heroes, we stick to pbs, I hope this doesn’t limit his play with the other children.”

There are cartoon super heroes on pbs.

Haha! And what does that have to do with anything anyway? My child has never seen a superhero movie or tv show, but he loves to dress up in a cape and mask and fight crime. He also mostly just watched daniel tiger, but that doesn't stop him from liking Batman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did I post this? At a 3yr old birthday today my friend had on a Batman shirt, and was pretending to be Batman and I mentioned how my son is obsessed with Batman right now and one of the moms quickly said “oh we don’t do super heroes, we stick to pbs, I hope this doesn’t limit his play with the other children.”

There are cartoon super heroes on pbs.

Haha! And what does that have to do with anything anyway? My child has never seen a superhero movie or tv show, but he loves to dress up in a cape and mask and fight crime. He also mostly just watched daniel tiger, but that doesn't stop him from liking Batman.

Exactly. And what precisely is wrong with superheroes? Is it the element of violence (aka killing the bad guy) or is it something else?

People need to just calm down and remember how insanely lucky we all are to be living in this country and have the luxury of worrying about the sugar content of juice or whether to let our kids watch superhero shows.

[Anonymous]

We don’t do is just a phrase. I can say we don’t do diets, we don’t do daily showers. It’s just stuff you don’t do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds so pretentious. “We don’t do juice.” “We don’t do malls.” “We don’t do tablets.” It’s always said by parents with kids 5 and under too. For example if someone asked me if my kids liked pop tarts I would just respond “oh they haven’t tried them yet.” Instead of saying “We don’t do pop tarts.”

I don't think I say "We don't do..." but I don't have a problem with it. It's different from "oh they haven't tried them yet" because your statement implies you are open to it, just haven't done it for whatever reason. "We don't do x" means they are not interested in x and don't want to try x. Personally, I don't think you should drive yourself batty over a common phraseology. I'm sure there's something you've decided isn't good for your family and there's someone else out there who thinks its fine for theirs. Doesn't have to be a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds so pretentious. “We don’t do juice.” “We don’t do malls.” “We don’t do tablets.” It’s always said by parents with kids 5 and under too. For example if someone asked me if my kids liked pop tarts I would just respond “oh they haven’t tried them yet.” Instead of saying “We don’t do pop tarts.”

It’s less pretentious than “I don’t give my kids juice” or “I don’t take my kids to malls.”[/quote

No, it sounds much MORE pretentious.

I don't give my kid's X means you made a choice not to give them X.

We (almost like the royal "we") don't do X is a statement that not only means you don't give your child X, but it implies that X is distasteful and you don't agree with others giving X either. The height of pretension. Not only a statement, but a judgment of others who do.

"We don't do tablets" means that not only do these parents not allow their children tablets but they disagree with screen time for children. It's a judgmental and boorish phrase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds so pretentious. “We don’t do juice.” “We don’t do malls.” “We don’t do tablets.” It’s always said by parents with kids 5 and under too. For example if someone asked me if my kids liked pop tarts I would just respond “oh they haven’t tried them yet.” Instead of saying “We don’t do pop tarts.”

It’s less pretentious than “I don’t give my kids juice” or “I don’t take my kids to malls.”[/quote

No, it sounds much MORE pretentious.

I don't give my kid's X means you made a choice not to give them X.

We (almost like the royal "we") don't do X is a statement that not only means you don't give your child X, but it implies that X is distasteful and you don't agree with others giving X either. The height of pretension. Not only a statement, but a judgment of others who do.

"We don't do tablets" means that not only do these parents not allow their children tablets but they disagree with screen time for children. It's a judgmental and boorish phrase.

I'm looking for alternative statements. Should I just say, "We are trying our best not to expose our child to games on phones or other devices"? Then, should I pick different friends if they don't put them away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds so pretentious. “We don’t do juice.” “We don’t do malls.” “We don’t do tablets.” It’s always said by parents with kids 5 and under too. For example if someone asked me if my kids liked pop tarts I would just respond “oh they haven’t tried them yet.” Instead of saying “We don’t do pop tarts.”

It’s less pretentious than “I don’t give my kids juice” or “I don’t take my kids to malls.”[/quote

No, it sounds much MORE pretentious.

I don't give my kid's X means you made a choice not to give them X.

We (almost like the royal "we") don't do X is a statement that not only means you don't give your child X, but it implies that X is distasteful and you don't agree with others giving X either. The height of pretension. Not only a statement, but a judgment of others who do.

"We don't do tablets" means that not only do these parents not allow their children tablets but they disagree with screen time for children. It's a judgmental and boorish phrase.

I'm looking for alternative statements. Should I just say, "We are trying our best not to expose our child to games on phones or other devices"? Then, should I pick different friends if they don't put them away?

Sure, say that. Or say that your kid doesn't play with them.

I think "we don't do" has a super snooty air to it, but I could be wrong. I'll have to listen carefully the next time it's said. I think, however, that it's only been said in a snooty tone so far to my ears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds so pretentious. “We don’t do juice.” “We don’t do malls.” “We don’t do tablets.” It’s always said by parents with kids 5 and under too. For example if someone asked me if my kids liked pop tarts I would just respond “oh they haven’t tried them yet.” Instead of saying “We don’t do pop tarts.”

It’s less pretentious than “I don’t give my kids juice” or “I don’t take my kids to malls.”[/quote

No, it sounds much MORE pretentious.

I don't give my kid's X means you made a choice not to give them X.

We (almost like the royal "we") don't do X is a statement that not only means you don't give your child X, but it implies that X is distasteful and you don't agree with others giving X either. The height of pretension. Not only a statement, but a judgment of others who do.

"We don't do tablets" means that not only do these parents not allow their children tablets but they disagree with screen time for children. It's a judgmental and boorish phrase.

I'm looking for alternative statements. Should I just say, "We are trying our best not to expose our child to games on phones or other devices"? Then, should I pick different friends if they don't put them away?

So, your comment is intended to get the other person to comply with your preference? I mean, if someone is looking at their phone, and you tell them that you are trying not to expose your kid to phones, you expect them to put their phone away? Then yes, you need different friends, because you are very presumptuous.

[Anonymous]

faux elitist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds so pretentious. “We don’t do juice.” “We don’t do malls.” “We don’t do tablets.” It’s always said by parents with kids 5 and under too. For example if someone asked me if my kids liked pop tarts I would just respond “oh they haven’t tried them yet.” Instead of saying “We don’t do pop tarts.”

It’s less pretentious than “I don’t give my kids juice” or “I don’t take my kids to malls.”[/quote

No, it sounds much MORE pretentious.

I don't give my kid's X means you made a choice not to give them X.

We (almost like the royal "we") don't do X is a statement that not only means you don't give your child X, but it implies that X is distasteful and you don't agree with others giving X either. The height of pretension. Not only a statement, but a judgment of others who do.

"We don't do tablets" means that not only do these parents not allow their children tablets but they disagree with screen time for children. It's a judgmental and boorish phrase.

I'm looking for alternative statements. Should I just say, "We are trying our best not to expose our child to games on phones or other devices"? Then, should I pick different friends if they don't put them away?



Please return to this string when your kids are in MS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds so pretentious. “We don’t do juice.” “We don’t do malls.” “We don’t do tablets.” It’s always said by parents with kids 5 and under too. For example if someone asked me if my kids liked pop tarts I would just respond “oh they haven’t tried them yet.” Instead of saying “We don’t do pop tarts.”

It’s less pretentious than “I don’t give my kids juice” or “I don’t take my kids to malls.”[/quote

No, it sounds much MORE pretentious.

I don't give my kid's X means you made a choice not to give them X.

We (almost like the royal "we") don't do X is a statement that not only means you don't give your child X, but it implies that X is distasteful and you don't agree with others giving X either. The height of pretension. Not only a statement, but a judgment of others who do.

"We don't do tablets" means that not only do these parents not allow their children tablets but they disagree with screen time for children. It's a judgmental and boorish phrase.

I'm looking for alternative statements. Should I just say, "We are trying our best not to expose our child to games on phones or other devices"? Then, should I pick different friends if they don't put them away?

Make a statement that doesn't imply looking down your nose on other's who don't make the same choice as you.

You can say "We're limiting screen time." or "We're holding off on electronics until she's older" or "No electronics, please" Or "No thank you"