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Tuesday's Most Active Threads

by Jeff Steele — last modified Feb 07, 2024 12:20 PM

Yesterday's topics with the most engagement included showering every day, a family vacation with a husband who wants to "relax", a dream boyfriend who doesn't make enough money, and a thread involving soccer and Arlington which I don't understand.

The most active thread yesterday was the one about King Charles which I already discussed and will, therefore, skip today. The next most active thread was titled, "Question for child health experts: Does a tween/teen HAVE TO shower every single day?" and posted in the "Tweens and Teens" forum. The original poster explained that she was performing a support role in a meeting between a child therapist and a 15-year-old girl and the therapist advised the girl that a daily shower or bath is medically essential. The girl in question does not have any hygiene problems and the original poster was shocked by this advice which contradicts much of her prior knowledge. She asks for opinions about whether a daily shower or bath are medically necessary, but she wants to limit responses to "therapists, pediatricians/doctors, counselors, psychologists, and child development experts." This stipulation is obviously not going to be adhered to by DCUM posters. The one place that you never want to find yourself is between a DCUM poster with an opinion and a keyboard because nothing is going to stop them from posting. In fact, the very first response is not only not from such a professional — or at least has no appearance of being from one — and does not address the topic, but rather questioned the original poster's motives. While a few of the professionals whose opinions were requested did reply, the limitation was honored more in the breach than the observance. More common were parents simply explaining their own children's showering habits or giving their personal preferences and opinions on the topic. Needless to say, this resulted in posters slugging it out from various points of view. Some think that daily showers are absolutely necessary. Some believe a day or perhaps even two can be skipped. Others argued that it depends on other factors such as whether the child has been exercising or done something else to become especially smelly or dirty. At least one poster argued for a more nuanced approach and said that showering needs can differ between children. A few posters argued that a lack of desire or interest in showering or bathing is connected to mental health and could be a sign of depression. In this regard, the posters thought the therapist might have been clumsy in the manner she discussed the issue, but not out of line. In the end, the original poster concluded from the responses, as well as additional opinions from professionals whom she knows personally, that there is no medical necessity for a daily shower or bath. However, she recognized that daily showers could have other benefits such as making it easier to fall asleep. The most surprising revelation of this thread for me is that there is a poster who has established a reputation due to her habit of changing underwear three times a day. Moreover, the poster does not seem to be perturbed by being identified as such. The poster further implied that those who don't share a similar dedication to hygiene are simply blind to their own body odor.

The next most active thread was posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. Titled, "Absent minded professor DH and vacation", the original poster says that she is currently on vacation with her husband, three young children, and her father. The original poster did all the planning and organizing for the trip, but has reached the point of what she called "decision fatigue". She desperately wants some down time but her husband and father refuse to step up, saying that they want to "just relax". But, the children, two of whom have special needs, require supervision and need to be kept active. If all three adults are "relaxing", the children will be neglected. Being forced to bear all responsibilities for the entire family, even after confronting her husband and father, has pushed the original poster to the point of wanting a divorce. She wants feedback about whether that is the proper next step. There is a lot involved in this situation and posters attempt to explore many different aspects. Some delve into the history of her relationship with her husband. The original poster says that he is a generally good guy who she likes and enjoys being around. However, he doesn't share in childrearing or household responsibilities and intimacy in their relationship mostly ended years ago. While he hasn't been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, she suspects he may suffer from it. While he has attended therapy, his heart hasn't been in it and he seems to do it only due to the original poster's insistence. Many posters suggest that the original poster may be too controlling and that rather sticking her with all responsibilities, others have simply learned to follow her instructions. As one poster put it, others have "been trained by you not to get in the way of the helicopter blades." The original poster rejects this speculation. Other posters delve into the issues with the children, wondering why they can't be afforded a bit more independence. While the original poster responded to many such posts, she eventually grew frustrated by them and reminded others that she was posting about her relationship with her husband and that she would post in the special needs forum if she wanted to discuss her kids. I often wonder how threads like this attract so much interest. In the case of this thread, a partial answer revealed itself when I noticed one poster repeatedly posting consecutive responses. This wasn't a case of sock puppeting, but rather simply appeared to be a poster reading the thread and responding to post after post. That poster replied 10 times on one page and 11 on the next. Clearly that sort of activity is going to result in a fairly long thread.

Third for today is a thread titled, "Dating a guy I’m crazy about but have concerns". Like the previous thread, this one was posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. The original poster says that she is dating a guy who is perfect in nearly every way, even describing him as her "dream man". Her biggest desire is to get married and have children. However, she explains that neither she nor her boyfriend have high-paying jobs. She worries that the cost of living in this area will making having a family difficult. She says that she doesn't want to act like a gold digger and break up with him to pursue someone with more money, but she is concerned about not being able to afford a family. In a subsequent post, the original poster said that their combined income is $140,000. However, after the post about their salaries, the original poster seems to have disappeared from the thread. I am not entirely convinced that this thread is not a bit of creative writing. It may be legitimate, but I am not really sure. There have been very similar threads in the past and the original poster's ghosting is suspicious. At any rate, responses are what you would expect. Some posters think that their combined salaries are sufficient to have a family. Others suggest trying to get higher-paying jobs. A few advise the original poster to break up with one saying, "No scrubs!" Another poster argues that "A man is not a plan" and contends that the original poster needs to get a better job herself and not expect to rely on a spouse. But, generally, posters think that breaking up with an otherwise great guy due to financial concerns doesn't make sense and either suggest several solutions or believe that that issue will take care of itself.

The last thread that I will discuss today was posted in the "Soccer" forum and titled, "Now arlington is teasing a big announcement...". For the first time since I have been writing this blog, I have no idea what a thread that I have to discuss is about. This is a completely new experience. The entire text of the initial post is, "Now Arlington is teasing a big announcement on IG. What's it going to be?!" I have no idea what is meant by "Arlington", but since this was posted in the soccer forum, I assume that it refers to something soccer-related. There is also the possibility that what is being discussed is actually "Now Arlington" rather than just "Arlington". Either way, I have learned that in this area there are soccer teams, soccer clubs, soccer organizations, soccer leagues, and various other soccer-related entities. I have no idea what sort of body is being referenced here. Reading the responses offers absolutely no clarification. For instance, here is an example of a reply:

"After the DA split they went to GA and then left GA for ECNL. If they declare that they're going MLS Next and going back to GA, that could be the beginning of a market shift."

Uh, translator please! The best that I can surmise is that whatever entity "Arlington" or "Now Arlington" is has posted a teaser for an announcement to be made today. Posters are tying to guess what that announcement might be, coming up with possible mergers with other organizations or perhaps league changes (at least I think this is what they are saying), or something as mundane as personnel announcements. As of the time of writing, there is no clarification about the announcement, at least as far as I can tell. However, some posters appear to be under the impression that the announcement might not amount to much. In fact, there are several posts dedicated to a discussion of whether the proper phrase to use is "I couldn't care less" or "I could care less". In this case, the poster doesn't seem capable of caring less.

Anonymous says:
Feb 07, 2024 04:47 PM
Autocorrect but funny: exorcism instead of exercising.

Others argued that it depends on other factors such as whether the child has been exorcising or done something else to become especially smelly or dirty.
Jeff Steele says:
Feb 07, 2024 04:48 PM
Thanks. That was probably just my spelling error rather than autocorrect. I am a terrible speller.
Anonymous says:
Feb 09, 2024 07:36 AM
Ha! Sounds like you had fun writing about the soccer post.
Anonymous says:
Feb 15, 2024 02:39 PM
Jeff, what happened to the Absent minded professor DH" thread? It was so good! :-)
Jeff Steele says:
Feb 15, 2024 03:55 PM
It is still there but sometimes the links in the blog posts get reformatted for some reason and don't work. But, the thread is here:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1184713.page
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