A child therapist said today ((I was in a support role in the mtg, not said to my child) in a session with a 15 yr old that showering or bathing every day is a must, essential (not just face washing and tooth brushing, but actually showering/bathing). The teen in question is clean, never smells, practices appropriate hygiene as best we can tell, and a lack of hygiene was in no way part of the reason she was in the session. But daily showering came up with regard to a bedtime routine and when she said "I don't shower every day, more like every other day or every 3 days" the therapist seemed absolutely stunned and shocked and told her she has to shower every day. (Let's assume we're only talking about kids 10-18, not younger than 10.)
I've worked with families & kids for 20+ yrs around child health, development, child safety issues, and the where the lines are between sufficient care and neglect or abuse. I've NEVER in my professional life known a therapist, pediatrician or any child experts to say bathing every day is a bare minimum, is where the line is on hygiene and wellness. Both in my professional life and in my personal life, I've known families with all sorts of habits, routines, and opinions about the basics. I definitely know families who insist on everyone showering every day, sometimes more than once/day. I know other families that are lax about it, or it's up to each family member, but being clean and obviously not smelling like body odor or smelling at all (beyond perfume/intentionally smelly products) still being important and assumed. I know some families who have cultural beliefs around it, some where you must shower every day; others where you don't.
While I'm sure there are ALL kinds of opinions here on this, I'm directing this specifically to the therapists, pediatricians/doctors, counselors, psychologists, and child development experts: Do you consider not showering every day bad hygiene or insufficient hygiene? Is showering every day a standard you tell parents to adhere to? Not asking "recommended" or "suggested", I am asking do you consider a parent doing less than baseline good parenting if they don't insist their kids all shower/bathe every day let's say from age 10 on?
Do you really dislike this woman? Are you gathering evidence against her?
Because your reaction to her comment is bananas.
|Of course not. Sometimes my kid showers Monday night, and then not again until Wednesday morning. No big deal as long as they don't stink.
That tgerapist needs to apologize and that 15 year old needs a new therapist.
It is 100% inappropriate to hygiene shame a 15 year old girl whose hygiene is objectively not an issue!
|All the teens and adults I know who only shower every other day or third day do in fact smell. They think they don’t, but they do.
|I make my teen shower daily, or every other day if they are not going out of the house, but that's rare. Every three days is gross. If they do any physical activity they will smell.
Is that perhaps a you problem?
DP but it's true. You non bathers think nobody knows. But they do.
Didn't take you long. You must have an alert set for shower posts.
Admit it, you're the 3 times a day underwear changer.
OP, it's perfectly fine to not shower every day. Ignore these nutjobs.
Look, just because you are nose blind to your own pungent funk doesn't mean others don't notice it.
|That person was out of line and unprofessional. Completely different than if hygiene were part of the chief complaint.
|Does your teen do nothing at all? No sports. Does she menstruate? I do agree that teens should generally shower daily. Sure, skip a day here and there if too tired or whatever. Every other day should be a rarity, not common practice and every third day is just gross.
|I would give the therapist the benefit of the doubt and say she's attaching daily showers with better mental health. I don't think she's wrong in that regard, no matter the physical need. Although honestly, not showering for three days is pretty bad and there's no way a person wouldn't smell.
Well, not waiting or caring to shower is a sign of depression. But the therapist wasn’t professional in her approach