Would you be offended?
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I've been with my current family for four months. Over the course of these four months I've noticed that their 14 year old son has something wrong with him. Sorry I'm not being politically correct, but he definitely has a learning disability and, additionally, has literally no idea how to handle social situations and therefore has no friendships. It makes me sad but he's also so difficult to deal with. I wasn't informed that the position would involve caring for a SN teenager. I don't know how to bring it up to the parents though, because they are both a little "off" and don't see anything wrong with the fact that their son would rather come home and play with action figures than try to be social and engaging. I have myriad examples but I'm on my iPad and they're too long to type out. Moms and dads would you be offended if your nanny approached you with this concern? Nannies would you approach parents or consider it intrusive? |
Anonymous
| For a 14 year old, if there is an issue that is truly affecting him, his teachers have likely pointed it out and are working with the parents on it. From your description, it doesn't sound like his quirkiness is making things difficult for you, or affecting your ability to do your job. Are you even responsible for the teenager? I would keep out of it, especially if you have no background in special needs, and your assessment stops at "he's a little 'off'". |
Anonymous
| I am responsible for taking care of him. I want to bring it up to the parents to let them know that they completely blindsided me with this by not mentioning it in the job description or interview. If they choose to seek therapy or medical help, that's great, but I'm not trying to force them into that. |
Anonymous
| Isn't he in school most of the day? What are your hours / how often do you see him? Is he not more or less self sufficient when he comes home from school? |
Anonymous
| You already asked us this last week. |
Anonymous
| I have to agree with the previous poster. He is 14, it is highly unlikely that you are the first person to have noticed something, and if the parents feel as though there is something to address, they are probably doing so. How much "care" does a 14 year old boy really need anyways? That, if anything, seems a bit off. |
Anonymous
| You want to bring it up to the parents. Okay, for what point? Just to vent? Sorry - vent to your family or friends, but not your employer. |
Anonymous
| Are you looking for a salary adjustment? |
Anonymous
| Yes, looking for a salary adjustment. |
Anonymous
| OP, you mention the parents are "a little off." Are they awkward socially or very introverted? If so, they probably don't have a problem with their son preferring to come home and be alone with his action figures. School is probably exhausting for him. You need to come up with concrete examples of how your job caring for him requires much more from you than with a typical teen. It's possible that they don't expect/want the additional effort you are putting into the job, in which case, they would not want to raise your pay. |
Anonymous
What exactly are you being paid to do for a 14 year old in the first place? I can't imagine it's much, certainly not enough to warrant a raise. |
nannydebsays
Member Offline
Member Offline
|
Although I am a nanny, if I were your employer I would absolutely be offended if you told me my child was "off" and that you wanted more money to take care of him.
However, if you approached me and ask whether I wanted you to do anything specific about XYZ behaviors that made your life and the child's life difficult, with examples of HOW this impacted my child (and you), I would likely be more apt to listen. I would NOT offer a raise though, until and unless I saw that you took action regarding our discussion and had made my child's life easier. Not made your job easier, but positively affected my child's life. |
Anonymous
| I think if they hired you to care for their 14 year old then they're aware that he is SN and needs supervision. |
Anonymous
| Are you also caring for additional siblings, OP? |