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OP, you've hired an inexperienced nanny, so you are going to need to train her in some way or you'll need to let her go and hire someone who has experience.
I would take a day off to spend with her and have her shadow you. Have her watch you properly prep a bottle, have her observe your baby's routines, etc. Ask her for questions, talk her through doing things the second time, then the 3rd time let her do her thing solo while you observe.
If this troubles her, then you'd be better off hiring someone with the experience you desire who needs less training.
I would take a day off to spend with her and have her shadow you. Have her watch you properly prep a bottle, have her observe your baby's routines, etc. Ask her for questions, talk her through doing things the second time, then the 3rd time let her do her thing solo while you observe.
If this troubles her, then you'd be better off hiring someone with the experience you desire who needs less training.
Anonymous wrote:I can't' seem to find anything on this topic. We have a nanny - 40 hours guaranteed, etc. Friends are looking to do a share with us but only 2 days week which is perfect for us as we still want all the perks of a full time (few errands, baby laundry, etc). My questions are:
1. Should they have to do guaranteed hours also (i.e. pay for Tues/Thurs whether or not they use her) or do we just pay our regular one child rate on the times they don't use her?
2. We only ever need 40 hours (9 - 5). In the case of them needing more than 8 hours say on a Tuesday, that would push us into an OT rate on Friday. It doesn't seem fair if that is the case so is it legal that whichever family causes the OT have to pay that?
1) If the other family plans to set and stick to a 2 day/week schedule for childcare, then yes, they need to offer guaranteed hours. They would pay their half of the nanny's share rate for all the hours they use, 52 weeks a year. I would also suggest that they accept that nanny will make her vacation plans as she has been doing with you as her only employer. Nanny needs to have time off from both families.
If, OTOH, this is more of a "drop in" situation, where days will vary, and some weeks they'll not use her at all, then I would suggest you stick with your current pay scale, and this other family pays an hourly rate completely separate from yours when they use nanny's services.
2) If the other family will use more than 8 hours per day, or otherwise need nanny longer each day than you do, then that pay is on them. As long as you carefully track nanny's hours (and there's likely an app for that!), and make it clear to her that she is "off the clock" after her 8 hours with you, that should be sufficient to keep you out of OT. Now, if the other family needs her 10 hours a day (unless the local/state laws determine OT starts after 8 hours in a day):
a) That should mean nanny and the other child return to the other family's home for the additional time, or
b) the family needs to try to make their hours match yours, even if that means having nanny 3 days/week instead of 2, and
c) that situation would cost them money, not you.
So, what sort of background check did you do on "Nanny T"? How many of her references did you call? Did you check (aka google) the names of her references to see if they aligned with where she claimed they lived?
If you are not making up a story to create drama, I am sorry you are going through this. Save all her texts and communications and contact the police to get a restraining order.
If you are not making up a story to create drama, I am sorry you are going through this. Save all her texts and communications and contact the police to get a restraining order.
Would you want a nanny to come to your house with a stomach virus and expose your whole family to it? I don't think so.
Irrelevant question. A nanny who chooses to go to work with a stomach virus is not responsible and not doing her job. A responsible nanny takes care of children, whether they are sick, cranky, or having a bad day. Every job has its hard parts. Responsible people don't complain about the hard parts of their jobs.
And for the posters who are so put out that their boss is unexpectedly in their workspace for a day, get over it. In the real world, the boss can show up anytime without notice, stay as long as they like, and even rearrange your whole schedule because they want you to do something different that day. Being passive aggressive or whining can get you fired.
So a nanny is not allowed to come to work with a stomach virus, but is expected to BE at work with littles who have a stomach virus? In that case, it's better for parents to leave nanny to tend to the ill kids, since the parents will have to take time off work later when nanny is ill and not allowed to come to work, right?
This is an old nanny family, right? So if you cut ties you will lose your chance to see and spend time with the kids.
I would say something like:
Old MB, I was surprised to hear your reaction to my wrist tattoos the other day. I know you are aware of how much I miss my grandma, and these 2 small tattoos are my way of keeping her memory and my grandpa's memory alive, Frankly, I was pretty hurt by your comments that I would have to cover up these small tattoos in order to come and babysit for you again. I hope you will reconsider your position, since I definitely prefer to keep in touch with you and your kids.
I would say something like:
Old MB, I was surprised to hear your reaction to my wrist tattoos the other day. I know you are aware of how much I miss my grandma, and these 2 small tattoos are my way of keeping her memory and my grandpa's memory alive, Frankly, I was pretty hurt by your comments that I would have to cover up these small tattoos in order to come and babysit for you again. I hope you will reconsider your position, since I definitely prefer to keep in touch with you and your kids.
She might be fine with you being there, and annoyed that she is getting to be exposed to puking/diarrhea/fever.
Either way, the attitude isn't OK. I would suggest you take a day to calm down and then address this with her, possibly using the poop sandwich method:
"It was pretty tough Monday with X sick and me working from home. I know you probably didn't enjoy the day much - I know I didn't! I did notice that you seemed very put out, and I would like to know why you were upset."
Nanny responds
"I hear what you are saying, and I agree that <whatever she says the issue was> can be frustrating/distracting/bothersome. I do need you to know that I count on you to be a team player, even when we are all having a really tough day. You are always so cheerful/helpful/on top of things, and I appreciate that so much."
Either way, the attitude isn't OK. I would suggest you take a day to calm down and then address this with her, possibly using the poop sandwich method:
"It was pretty tough Monday with X sick and me working from home. I know you probably didn't enjoy the day much - I know I didn't! I did notice that you seemed very put out, and I would like to know why you were upset."
Nanny responds
"I hear what you are saying, and I agree that <whatever she says the issue was> can be frustrating/distracting/bothersome. I do need you to know that I count on you to be a team player, even when we are all having a really tough day. You are always so cheerful/helpful/on top of things, and I appreciate that so much."
Yes, condolences are needed. Be brief, tell her you're sorry, and maybe offer to arrange dinner delivery for the rest of the week.
Actually, a LI nanny position does mean the employers provide you living space and food. PP above who is provided food while on duty and provides her own off duty has a good solution. OTOH, I know LI nannies that have all food provided.
Frankly, I would find a background check company and have the check run independently from Care. That goes for whoever you choose to hire, not just this woman, obviously.
As a nanny, I find any Care check to be insufficient, to be honest.
As a nanny, I find any Care check to be insufficient, to be honest.
Speaking for myself, I would love a framed pic of me with my charges, perhaps even a professional picture.
I also treasure a book a former family gave me with pictures, special written memories, etc.
I also treasure a book a former family gave me with pictures, special written memories, etc.
Unless you have more than 3 kids, $17/hour gross is an great rate.
Write down her hours for her again in a letter outlining the discussion you had with her. I would add something like:
To clarify for you, your hours are 8 am - 6 pm. We pay you for 10 hours per day unless WE ask you to come in early or stay late. We do not want or need you to start work at 7:15 am, and we will not pay you for any time you choose to volunteer to work before 8 am.
You are welcome to come to our home at 7:15 if you have to do so due to a transportation issue, but we expect you to sit, relax, and read or listen to music until you are officially "on the clock".
Document EVERYTHING, so that you will have your house in order if she takes you before the wage and labor board.
(I do hope you have a contract that outlines her hours as well as her straight time and overtime rates? If not, and she works more than 40 hours a week and is paid $17 for every hour with no OT, you are likely going to be facing a claim before the wage and labor board!)
And if she tries to bully you into paying her extra again, I suggest you start looking for a new nanny. Heck, you might as well start looking now, because once your "nanny" realizes she can't bully you any more she may just quit.
Good Luck!
Write down her hours for her again in a letter outlining the discussion you had with her. I would add something like:
To clarify for you, your hours are 8 am - 6 pm. We pay you for 10 hours per day unless WE ask you to come in early or stay late. We do not want or need you to start work at 7:15 am, and we will not pay you for any time you choose to volunteer to work before 8 am.
You are welcome to come to our home at 7:15 if you have to do so due to a transportation issue, but we expect you to sit, relax, and read or listen to music until you are officially "on the clock".
Document EVERYTHING, so that you will have your house in order if she takes you before the wage and labor board.
(I do hope you have a contract that outlines her hours as well as her straight time and overtime rates? If not, and she works more than 40 hours a week and is paid $17 for every hour with no OT, you are likely going to be facing a claim before the wage and labor board!)
And if she tries to bully you into paying her extra again, I suggest you start looking for a new nanny. Heck, you might as well start looking now, because once your "nanny" realizes she can't bully you any more she may just quit.
Good Luck!
Designate a room with a door you can close as "The Cussing Room". When they start cursing, tell them those words aren't allowed in front of you, but they can go to the cursing room and curse as much as they want. They are free to come out as soon as they are done cursing. When they emerge, welcome them back. When they curse again, send them back to the designated room. Don't show emotion of any kind, just say, "Cussing Room now, come out when you are done."
You might want to have a room for each of them at first, since I bet the younger boy is egged on by his big brother. I would guess the younger will stop first, btw.
When you are out, bathroom stalls make good "Cussing Rooms".
You might want to have a room for each of them at first, since I bet the younger boy is egged on by his big brother. I would guess the younger will stop first, btw.
When you are out, bathroom stalls make good "Cussing Rooms".
60 hours a week for $600 is way too low.
Frankly, $10/hour plus applicable OT would still be low (40 x $10 + 20 x $15 = $700), especially with 3 weeks of unpaid vacation.
PP, what is your childcare budget? Can you afford more than $600/week?
Frankly, $10/hour plus applicable OT would still be low (40 x $10 + 20 x $15 = $700), especially with 3 weeks of unpaid vacation.
PP, what is your childcare budget? Can you afford more than $600/week?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I totally agree that no nanny should text when on the clock. I mean, since all the parents present are either texting or simply ignoring their kids, all nannies need to be standing ready to not only care for their charges but also to be the unpaid, unacknowledged caregivers for all the children present...oh. Wait. Is that expectation maybe just slightly stupid and unrealistic?
I have never texted when I was working so the expectation is absolutely not unrealistic. And by definition, not doing something unnecessary when working cannot be "stupid".
Although it may be hard for you to understand - not all of us are addicted to our cell phones.
Darn. The sarcasm went whooshing over your head. To be clear, I was making fun of the expectations from parents that nanny NEVER EVER EVER touch their phone even though the parents present at the zoo/playground/fill-in-the-blank are too involved in their phones to even watch their kids. If parents can ignore their children on a continuous basis, to the point of not knowing how their kid got hurt, why can't a nanny take 30 seconds to respond to an urgent text or call? Is the reason for that "Nannies must stand ready..."? If so, maybe the parents need to start paying a tiny bit of attention to their own kids.
And FWIW, I occasionally glance at my phone, but I certainly don't do what the nanny in OP's post did. There is such a thing as a happy medium for both paid childcare workers and for parents.
I think as long as your nanny is taking your kids to places like the zoo, playgrounds, splash parks, and so on, it might be a little much to have her report first who she and the kids may meet there, especially if they are meeting adults who also care for kids for what is, basically, a play date.
And since your kids will tell you what happened anyway, it's not like it's a secret.
OTOH, if the nanny is new to your family, and isn't offering up ANY info on daily activities, it's not unreasonable to ask her to keep a calendar with the kids schedules and let you know if she is going anywhere "out of the ordinary" and needs funds.
Now, if your kids were reporting that while at the park nanny met a man/woman and kissed them for a long time after telling your kids to go play...that might be worth some concern.
And since your kids will tell you what happened anyway, it's not like it's a secret.
OTOH, if the nanny is new to your family, and isn't offering up ANY info on daily activities, it's not unreasonable to ask her to keep a calendar with the kids schedules and let you know if she is going anywhere "out of the ordinary" and needs funds.
Now, if your kids were reporting that while at the park nanny met a man/woman and kissed them for a long time after telling your kids to go play...that might be worth some concern.
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