How can I make this better?

[Anonymous]

MB here who telecommutes. I generally lock myself in my office all day. However, we have a new nanny who doesn't have that much experience and I'm unsure about. I am trying to stay out of her hair but I just caught her microwaving a bottle of breastmilk. How do I leave her alone which I am sure she wants but at the same time make sure she's not making worse mistakes? Any general advice for work at home MB's would be great too.

[Anonymous]

You need to train her. Just let her know "I'll be around a little more than usual this week to let you know how we do things here, and answer any questions you may have."

[Anonymous]

That's basically what I did and she still seems annoyed. Maybe just not the right person for us. And yes, she knew I work at home when we went through the hiring process.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Reminds me of a friend's former nanny. She thawed out breastmilk and then tried to sneak it back in the freezer, among other things.

If she is inexperienced and isn't open to guidance, doesn't seem like a great fit.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, she's not inexperienced in general, mostly with breastfed infants, so I am cutting her some slack. Although I don't think you're supposed to heat formula in the microwave either. We're definitely just testing the waters here so if it's not a great fit, it's not a great fit. But after reading here about how nannies hate moms working from home, I don't want it to be me that runs her off.

[Anonymous]

We were all inexperienced once. I would tell her you want to show here your process and then pick a period of time that includes a feeding, play period and a nap to spend with her. As you go through the routine throw out any anecdotes she should know. The next day plan a lunch date with them, again tell her what time. This should give you ample opportunity to help and observe. Also, be sure to share any time saving techniques, we all need those sometimes but she has not had the experience to figure them out.

[Anonymous]

After hiring her, you should give her a few days or up to a week of training.

While she is caring for your child, you can be by her side for a day or two and answer any questions or concerns she may have.
Also, by shadowing her she can get a feel of what a typical day is like being around your child.

Then for another day or two, you can be close by, maybe doing chores such as cleaning or laundry, and have the nanny more on her own caring for the baby w/out being shadowed. Again, you are nearby if any questions or concerns arise.

If that hasn't been done yet, then I strongly encourage you both to participate in this immediately. Doing so will clear up any confusion as well as bring up any topics not mentioned previously.

Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

Send her an email with breast milk rules and also give her verbal directions. Have you ever had your hungry baby have to wait 15 min for a frozen bottle to be ready? Plz put several in fridge at night for next day so they are not always frozen. It sucks, and as every dad who has done the breast milk thing knows sometimes it's better to speed up the process than stress the baby. Yes it kills the good stuff, but along as it's in a glass (not plastic) it won't hurt baby. This is the big drawback for nannies it's huge hassle to warm a bottle at the park or in the car!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send her an email with breast milk rules and also give her verbal directions. Have you ever had your hungry baby have to wait 15 min for a frozen bottle to be ready? Plz put several in fridge at night for next day so they are not always frozen. It sucks, and as every dad who has done the breast milk thing knows sometimes it's better to speed up the process than stress the baby. Yes it kills the good stuff, but along as it's in a glass (not plastic) it won't hurt baby. This is the big drawback for nannies it's huge hassle to warm a bottle at the park or in the car!

What? This person doesn't know what (s)he is talking about. If you want to speed up the proccess, there are better ways. It takes 5 min, max to heat up a frozen bottle sans microwave. If you are even halfway competent you should be able to tell that the babybis getting fussy and get a bottle going, then just comfort the baby for 5 minutes. This is not rocket science.

[Anonymous]

I guess I just got spoiled by my last nanny who would actually go into the garage to the deep freezer and pull packages out. I did make up several bottles ahead of time but she used the microwave to heat them up (I thought you couldn't do that with formula either?). But really, it was more of a general question. I see nannies here complaining about work at home moms and don't want to be one of those moms, but clearly she needs some help. Unfortunately the PP's suggestion of working right next to her won't work since I am working. Is taking a day or week off to train typical? I haven't done it before.

[nannydebsays]

OP, you've hired an inexperienced nanny, so you are going to need to train her in some way or you'll need to let her go and hire someone who has experience.

I would take a day off to spend with her and have her shadow you. Have her watch you properly prep a bottle, have her observe your baby's routines, etc. Ask her for questions, talk her through doing things the second time, then the 3rd time let her do her thing solo while you observe.

If this troubles her, then you'd be better off hiring someone with the experience you desire who needs less training.

[Anonymous]

Why do parents hire such nannies, then you get stuck and frustrated.I had a parent contact me saying they had hired an incompetent nanny and had heard if my raving references. There was no way I was going to jump at her offer, in such a case you don't know who to believe. She even tried to bribe me to take the job.lol

[Anonymous]

I get it, OP. You wanted to be hands off to show that you know that distance is an important part of being a WAHM with a nanny. Then the nanny showed youthat she wasn't ready for hands off and you aren't sure how to backtrack without making it obvious that she is not cutting the mustard.

I would be up front and say, "I've noticed that there are some things about infant care that aren't second nature for you yet. I feel I've done you a disservice in not taking time off to train you in how we do things in our house, so I will be shadowing you on Monday and Tuesday so that tou can see the routine and ask any questions."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. You wanted to be hands off to show that you know that distance is an important part of being a WAHM with a nanny. Then the nanny showed youthat she wasn't ready for hands off and you aren't sure how to backtrack without making it obvious that she is not cutting the mustard.

I would be up front and say, "I've noticed that there are some things about infant care that aren't second nature for you yet. I feel I've done you a disservice in not taking time off to train you in how we do things in our house, so I will be shadowing you on Monday and Tuesday so that tou can see the routine and ask any questions."

THANK YOU for getting it.

Yes, I know she is inexperienced with breastfed infants. But I don't want to be that overbearing WAHM that everyone here rants about. We're doing some training today. If that runs her off, so be it.

[Anonymous]

If she does not know basic safety issues such as not nuking the baby's milk of formula then you need to reevaluate if she is up to the task OR have a very lengthy top sheet on major issues - without assuming she knows them.