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I'd like to invest in a camera that I can set up at each job and connect to skype or some other internet system that allows parents to view me and their child at play. I have a 24 hour job coming up and I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions on a camera system? Everything I find is a "hidden" camera. I'm thinking I should just get an ipad. I need to be able to set it up and carry it to each room we play in and take it with me when the job is done. Any tech savvy people out there who have suggestions?
Personally, I wouldn't mind being asked what happened if the parent is respectful. It's your child after all, not hers, and she is being paid, and you are the boss. I see it as the parent and I are a team. Team members cooperate and share information. It's what you do with that information that can cause problems, or when you assume something without all the information.
Also, a three-year-old is going to be testy and moody. It's always kind of sad when they stop being the sweet toddler that follows instructions so well. As a provider, it is my job to be a disciplinarian as well as a friend. I'm very clear about my boundaries with a child. I'm not mean. I don't humiliate. I say sorry if I make a mistake. I don't neglect children. Nevertheless, I don't budge when there's a boundary violation. Ex: If I warned the child that the car is going to get a time-out if it's thrown, then that's exactly what is going to happen if the car is thrown.
Disciplinary acts like this can make the kiddo hate me for the day. I have to be thick skinned enough to deal with that. It's the nature of the job.
Also, a three-year-old is going to be testy and moody. It's always kind of sad when they stop being the sweet toddler that follows instructions so well. As a provider, it is my job to be a disciplinarian as well as a friend. I'm very clear about my boundaries with a child. I'm not mean. I don't humiliate. I say sorry if I make a mistake. I don't neglect children. Nevertheless, I don't budge when there's a boundary violation. Ex: If I warned the child that the car is going to get a time-out if it's thrown, then that's exactly what is going to happen if the car is thrown.
Disciplinary acts like this can make the kiddo hate me for the day. I have to be thick skinned enough to deal with that. It's the nature of the job.
I always offer my resume upfront. However, that resume does not have my address, references, or the last names & addresses of the people I worked for. It's not until after the interview, if I want to accept the job from that family (and visa versa), that I give my references. The references do not include an address, just the phone number, email, and name.
I think anyone, including nannies, should have a resume to present to an employer. It's professional and not a big ask. I think its also reasonable for the resume to be non-tradition in the sense that it does not include contact info right of the bat since we're dealing with residences.
I think anyone, including nannies, should have a resume to present to an employer. It's professional and not a big ask. I think its also reasonable for the resume to be non-tradition in the sense that it does not include contact info right of the bat since we're dealing with residences.
Thanks everyone for the opinions. I've never gone through an agency. I was trying to get in with one and was prevented because of that employers animosity. Even with his track record, it was his word against mine. I completely understood the agencies position at that time. Better safe than sorry when endorsing nannies. Plus, I was 22 at the time and very naive. The situation ended badly, but looking back, there were red flags I should have noticed.
The heartbreak led to me leaving the nanny role for several years. I worked with children in other capacities instead. Since then, I've decided to get a degree in Child Development so that I can have more than a reference to show that I know what I'm doing, and that I've invested into learning everything I can about providing quality childcare. I've been building up my reputation again as a babysitter, and now I'm thinking about resuming a nanny role.
Having a forum like this is wonderful! I love hearing from other nannies and parents.
The heartbreak led to me leaving the nanny role for several years. I worked with children in other capacities instead. Since then, I've decided to get a degree in Child Development so that I can have more than a reference to show that I know what I'm doing, and that I've invested into learning everything I can about providing quality childcare. I've been building up my reputation again as a babysitter, and now I'm thinking about resuming a nanny role.
Having a forum like this is wonderful! I love hearing from other nannies and parents.
When interviewing with a family for a possible position as their nanny, is it commonplace to ask questions of the family as well, specifically for references about the family from previous nannies? I took a job in the past with a man who ended up treating me very badly in the end. I came to find out completely by chance from the director of a local nanny agency that he had a high turnover of their nannies and was very difficult to deal with. I wish I had the foresight to ask him for his references. Also, would it be strange to ask for a background check on them too to make sure that I will be in a safe work environment? What is the correct protocol in your opinion?
On my end, I am supportive of cameras, drug tests, background checks, references, and honesty clauses because I don't have anything to hide. Should I expect the same from a family I work for?
On my end, I am supportive of cameras, drug tests, background checks, references, and honesty clauses because I don't have anything to hide. Should I expect the same from a family I work for?
It's weird, but every employer has their thing. I had one that would get uppity that I tried to serve the kids snack on "bread plates." Another hated when I left the sponge in the sink.
I think you handled it beautifully. At the end of the day, it is her dryer lol.
I think you handled it beautifully. At the end of the day, it is her dryer lol.
I think you should always expect to work until the end of your shift, even when your boss is home - unless they dismiss you. However, if they come home unexpectedly and give you the rest of the day off, they should still pay you for the hours you were prepared to work since it wasn't discussed before hand. I also think that if you're ever unsure about what you can do when one or both parents are home, ask them directly what they expect of you. If the children are not paying attention to you because the parent is home, you can clean up their toys, their bath toys, fold laundry, load/unload the dishwasher, sweep, vacuum, wipe off tables and counters, etc.
I think the phone usage is subjective. Some parents care, some parents don't. You can partially gauge how normal this is by paying attention to yourself at work. Do you often find yourself texting a non-job related contact? How many times a day do you browse through your facebook or twitter. When are you writing the post above? Do you have several "water cooler" moments? How many non-work related conversations do you have with you co-workers? I agree with the person who says check at random during the day just to be sure she's not constantly on the phone.
I do think it important to keep in mind that constant adult interaction with an infant, or any child for that matter, is not necessarily a good thing. Would you want someone in your personal space all the time? (I'm a big fan of Magda Gerber - check out youtube.)
You might consider getting the nanny in touch with other moms and playgroups in the neighborhood so that she has somewhere to go that benefits the baby and allows her to have some social interaction. Being on the floor all day everyday can be taxing - even if you constantly switch things up - and especially if you're single, live alone, and have no one to go home to; or are too tired at the end of the day to go out and do all the nightlife activities like the rest of your friends. Most people don't give 2 cents about hearing how, "DD held her bottle today!", or "DD2 rolled onto her tummy all by herself!" It can be very isolating. I can see how I might want to call my husband while on the job just so I could talk to someone lol!
As for the daily reports, maybe she's stopped simply because she was under the impression that you weren't giving them much attention. I would tell her that you really like the reports, and you really appreciate her effort in making them, and you'd love it if she'd resume making them.
I do think it important to keep in mind that constant adult interaction with an infant, or any child for that matter, is not necessarily a good thing. Would you want someone in your personal space all the time? (I'm a big fan of Magda Gerber - check out youtube.)
You might consider getting the nanny in touch with other moms and playgroups in the neighborhood so that she has somewhere to go that benefits the baby and allows her to have some social interaction. Being on the floor all day everyday can be taxing - even if you constantly switch things up - and especially if you're single, live alone, and have no one to go home to; or are too tired at the end of the day to go out and do all the nightlife activities like the rest of your friends. Most people don't give 2 cents about hearing how, "DD held her bottle today!", or "DD2 rolled onto her tummy all by herself!" It can be very isolating. I can see how I might want to call my husband while on the job just so I could talk to someone lol!
As for the daily reports, maybe she's stopped simply because she was under the impression that you weren't giving them much attention. I would tell her that you really like the reports, and you really appreciate her effort in making them, and you'd love it if she'd resume making them.
Anonymous wrote:This way we feel that we are not using our vacation to cover for our nannies vacation. Otherwise, we would not be able to have our own time off.
I don't understand this statement. I would assume your "own time off" would mean spending quality time with your kids sans nanny. If you're hoping for date-nights sans kiddos, then maybe consider getting a separate date-night babysitter. You usually pay them less, and you're allowing the nanny to have her evenings/weekends/etc. to herself. Being a nanny is very rewarding, but its very demanding, so treat her the way you would want your employer to treat you (even if you're employer is an ass).
I think it's fair for the nanny to be able to choose her week whether it works for you or not. I say bite the bullet on this one. Then, when the new year comes around, sit down with your nanny and talk about this. I agree that if there are some dates where you know you absolutely can't have her absent, then that would be the time to call it out. I think that if you decide to black out some dates, you need to be very specific, and be reasonable. I'd advise you not to black out more that 2 weeks.
However, that means that the nanny might counter with a date that she absolutely has to take off. For example, I would absolutely need the week of Thanksgiving off every year. My brother is in the military and they don't give their soldiers a lot of flexibility. This also means that he is rarely in the same state as me. So, come hell or high water, Thanksgiving (the weekend before, the week of, and the weekend after) is the one time of year where I will devote everything to seeing him (or his wife and nephew if he is deployed). It's nonnegotiable. I agree that only having 2 weeks off a year is not enough, but each arrangement is unique. So if 2 weeks is all you can afford, at least let her have as much freedom as you possibly can to choose her week.
Until you renegotiate the contract, I say let go of any resentment you feel - it's on you that you weren't more specific. Start making notes of things that don't work for you, and encourage your nanny to do the same. That way, when you revisit this, both of you can address your concerns thoroughly, maturely, and respectfully. This won't be the last time y'all have a conflict of interest, and to keep the relationship intact, you need to be able to talk about these things openly.
This is why I think it is important to have a nanny contract, and to revisit it often. You're present compensation seems very fair, but it is customary to expect an additional $1-$2 per hour increase for a new child. When it comes to COL, if my family had a threshold they couldn't afford to pass I would appreciate them being honest with me about it. You can both agree to set a limit on COL increase so that when she's with you long enough to reach that threshold, you can stop the COL increase within reason (it's something to revisit again if the city y'all live in experiences a huge COL increase; that's what's happening in my city right now.) After that point, you can decide to do a one-time annual bonus each year to show your appreciation; or you can offer her more paid days off per year. I just know that if I work for a good family, and if they've have always been respectful to me, I'd be willing to figure out some way that is fair for both of us. I think communication is important on this issue. It's important to be honest with each other so that the relationship stays intact without resentment.
Is the nanny only caring for your 11-year-old, or are there other children in the home? I have found it to be difficult to entertain older children when there are two or more small children around because they require so much supervision. However, if the 11-year-old is the only person she's required to care for, then that should definitely change. Pre-teens are a blast because they're finally old enough for more complex activities. In my experience, there have been situations where every child had their own phone, plus an ipad, plus a tv, plus video games, etc. Those are hard to compete with. I've invested in so many different board games hoping that one of them will pull these kids away from their screens. So, if you're kid has too much technology, you might want to dial it down.
Expecting table manners from a 13m.o is ridiculous. It's a given that children are messy and gross. In my opinion, if you like everything else about your nanny, I don't think this is a fireable offense - especially if she's not hiding it from you. Us nannies are human. We all come from different backgrounds where things that are acceptable in our childhoods, ideologies, cultures, etc. might not be a good fit for you; and thats OK! I do think that her method is inappropriate for the 13 m.o. I personally don't think any child should be punished or rewarded with anything involving their breakfast, lunch, dinner, or potty time. Nevertheless, she's not endangering your child's life. I think you and the nanny can talk this out and brainstorm. However, you have ultimate authority if she can't adjust.
In my experience, I have always used the "more", "all done" sign language. So if the child is doing things that do not involve eating, then I would ask, "Are you all done? *insert sign*" The kiddos pick up on it really quickly. When they're "done" you dismiss them from the table, but the option to return to the table and eat is still left open until everyone else is finished. At that point, if you think the 13m.o is short on calories, then you can reintroduce a bottle. My 2-year-old charge always followed his meals with a bottle of whole milk.
However, if she is indeed eating and is just messy, then leave her be. Everything is a learning experience, even blowing the raspberries. There's nothing wrong with starting to introduce table manners to practice, but it shouldn't be a punishable thing. Let kids be kids. You might not get to go out to a restaurant with your kiddos for a while, but I think that's a small price to pay. They'll have the rest of their lives to conform to social norms.
In my experience, I have always used the "more", "all done" sign language. So if the child is doing things that do not involve eating, then I would ask, "Are you all done? *insert sign*" The kiddos pick up on it really quickly. When they're "done" you dismiss them from the table, but the option to return to the table and eat is still left open until everyone else is finished. At that point, if you think the 13m.o is short on calories, then you can reintroduce a bottle. My 2-year-old charge always followed his meals with a bottle of whole milk.
However, if she is indeed eating and is just messy, then leave her be. Everything is a learning experience, even blowing the raspberries. There's nothing wrong with starting to introduce table manners to practice, but it shouldn't be a punishable thing. Let kids be kids. You might not get to go out to a restaurant with your kiddos for a while, but I think that's a small price to pay. They'll have the rest of their lives to conform to social norms.
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