13 m.o. sent to bed hungry
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
We have been struggling with table manners ever since DD2 (13 m.o) began solid foods at 6 months. She will eat but also likes to throw food on the floor. DD2 learned to blow raspberries a few months back and ends up spewing food in the process. Our table and any person sitting next to her get spewed with food. Sometimes her behavior is due to a tantrum, other times she seems to just be having fun playing in her lunch. My older DD (3 years) eats all of her meals at daycare but eats with our nanny anytime she is out for holidays, sick days, etc. Twice in the last two weeks the nanny has put the girls to bed hungry. She implemented a rule that after three warnings the kids will be removed from the table if they continue to throw or spew their food. The problem is that nap time is immediately after lunch, so DD2 has a hard time falling asleep because she is hungry. Older DD has never been a good eater. She falls asleep easily. She also seems to better understand the connection between throwing the food and not being allowed to remain at the table. I don't necessarily disagree with the girls being asked to leave the table when they are being disgusting, making it unpleasant for anyone else to eat with them. But, DD2 cries for an hour unable to fall asleep. We seem to have traded one problem for another.
I would love to suggest some other strategies to our nanny so that we can address the bad behavior - just not by putting the girls to bed hungry. Any ideas? |
Anonymous
| If they were so hungry they would be eating the food and not playing with it |
Anonymous
| What exactly is happening on the weekends, OP? |
Anonymous
Thatz harsh pp its a 13 month old baby!! I sincerely hope you are not in charge of caring one. OP your nanny should know better than that. Have her feed your baby a few bites and have alternatives handy that your child likes say a piece of fruit or milk so your child is not sent to bed hungry. |
Anonymous
| You need to fire her right away. Sending kids to bed hungry is unacceptable in my book, if this was my nanny I would have shown her the door. There is a fine line between discipline and tyranny. |
Anonymous
| I can't imagine doing that to a 13 month old. That just seems really, really wrong to me. |
Anonymous
|
I would be livid at our nanny if she was letting my 13 month old cry for an hour because she was hungry. I'd fire her.
I have no problem with her strategy for a 3-year-old. As you noted, the 3 year-old can understand the connection and modify her behavior. However, I personally would not use this strategy. I don't like to use food as a punishment or reward. I've never encountered a 13 month old with perfect table.manners who never gets.food on the floor and never plays with their food. Your nanny has unrealistic expectations and your child.is being punished for it. There are better ways to teach table manners. |
Anonymous
| Agree the strategy is fine for a 3yo who is testing boundaries, but absolutely wrong for a 13mo. |
Anonymous
Should she force feed her then. Clearly bathe child won't eat. She isnt hungry she is being a brat |
Anonymous
You've got to be kidding me... And no, it doesn't say the 13 month old is refusing to eat, it says she is having her food removed for poor table manners. Well yeah, she's little! She can be pulled away from the table so her behavior doesn't upset other people's meals, she can be given primarily foods that are difficult to spill, there are lots of ways to limit the mess. But no 13 month old 1) has consistent table manners or 2) should be sent to bed if she is still hungry. |
Anonymous
+1 At 13 mths. my youngest still had a bottle before bed. She'd eat solid foods but hadn't quite grasped the concept of eating enough to not be hungry any more. We went for a BLW between bottle feeds approach which worked quite well when she was that age. Your DD2 might simply not be ready for an "all solids" diet. |
Anonymous
|
I've got a 14 month old, and putting her to bed hungry would be awful! This is still a baby you're talking about. Try giving her one bite of food on her tray at a time. Don't give her another until she eats it. When she starts to blow raspberries while food is still in her mouth, turn her high chair around so she can't spew it on you. She won't like being excluded. When she stops, turn her back to face you.
Look, she's going to make a mess, even if she's 100% focused on eating the food in front of her. She doesn't yet have the fine motor skills to eat cleanly. It's not about table manners. Your nanny needs to wash down the high chair tray and rinse the baby's hands & face after every meal. This is just life with a one year old. |
Anonymous
| That is abuse in my book and I would have reported her and fired her as well. |
Anonymous
Good thing your not in charge. Who do you report her to ? CPS ? For giving a child food and a nap ? Yes all things a baby needs gosh to me she sounds like the best nanny Ive heard of in a long time |
Anonymous
| I guess it would depend on if the child is eating with poor manners? Or is not eating and is throwing food? If child is eating but hasnt perfected manners then this is a little harsh for a 13mo old. If child is not eating at all and just playing with food then she isn't hungry. At 13mo she should be eating breakfast around 7/8 then have a 4hr gap till lunch time around 11/12 then a snack around 3 and dinner around 7. If she is snacking constantly or have milk between meal times then she isn't hungry, and is just upset with the way nanny is putting her into bed. |