Nanny vacation requests

[Anonymous]

I am in need of some advice and would love to know how other people deal with vacations and Nannies. We offer two weeks vacation paid. One week during Christmas and New Years and the other week we ask in our contract for the nanny to work with us and find a vacation week that works for both parties. This way we feel that we are not using our vacation to cover for our nannies vacation. Otherwise, we would not be able to have our own time off. Our first nanny never asked for any time time off and just took the paid time that we took off as her vacation. Our new nanny has asked for a week off in August. I said that should work out for us because we also want to go to the beach. How about the first week in Augus? Her response was no I need the last week off. I said that we could be somewhat flexible and take the second week off instead, but we are not able to take off the last week because of work commitments. She was very firm that only that last week would work for her. I was a little surprised, but maybe it's because we have never had this issue. How do other handle this type of situation, pay the nanny the week the family goes away and the week she wants in August? i guess I am at a loss because I wasn't expecting this conflict? But maybe it's normal....

[Anonymous]

Most people give two weeks: one the nanny's choice, one your choice. Your contract is ambiguous. It says the second week must be "mutually agreed upon," which neither of your choices are (she doesn't agree) and hers is not (you don't agree).

Also, you said your contract says "best effort" to coordinate the second week. That leaves an opening for her to do exactly what she's doing and say that despite your best efforts, it is not possible and she wants her week.

As gently as I can (I am a MB) I am going to suggest that you start seeing nanny care as considerably more expensive than just wages. If you want a vacation yourself, then you need to be able to let it go that you are going to be paying someone who isn't working for a couple of weeks out of the year, and that you'll have to pay for backup care while she's on vacation.

Or, you need to write a new contract that tells the nanny that none of the vacation weeks are her choice, and then give her a list of weeks she can choose from. This is essentially how teachers have to plan vacations (around school breaks), so it's not the end of the world, but it's also not the standard.

[Anonymous]

Most give two eeeks-- one at your convenience anad one at Nannyy's choice. You have used your choice with the Christmas week vacation. In short, nanny gets her 2nd week the last week in Aug., as she requested.

[Anonymous]

everyone I know who has a nanny, does 1 week employer choosing, 1 week the nanny's. Which means, yes, we have to get coverage for the week the nanny chooses as it rarely coincides with our vacation plans.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's reasonable to have both vacation weeks as your choice. One can be yours, but one should also be her choice. What she wants to attend and spend her vacation on is clearly in that last week. You should hire a back-up nanny, or college kid who's home for the summer.

[Anonymous]

Why is it fair for her to have her vacation dictated by you, but you can't allow her to affect yours at all? I never say this, but perhaps nanny care isn't for you. You are insensitive to the needs of your employee and don't seem to be prepared for the responsibility.

[Anonymous]

You're already cheating your nanny by giving her the week of Christmas as one of her vacation weeks, considering that most employers give at least Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off. You do realize that, don't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're already cheating your nanny by giving her the week of Christmas as one of her vacation weeks, considering that most employers give at least Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off. You do realize that, don't you?

I assume she gave the week between xmas and New Year's, which is always a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're already cheating your nanny by giving her the week of Christmas as one of her vacation weeks, considering that most employers give at least Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off. You do realize that, don't you?

I assume she gave the week between xmas and New Year's, which is always a week.

Don't.

[Anonymous]

Your policy is ambiguous and also inconsiderate. Most nanny agreements with paid vacation are one week your choice, and one week her choice. Don't you want her to take a vacation at the time of her choosing for one week out of 52 weeks? Really? And here you are complaining that she is not being flexible enough. Check yourself. You're probably coming off as selfish and uncaring to her. Sorry to be blunt, but maybe you need to hear it.

[Anonymous]

And to answer your other question: Yes, if you take a different week to go to the beach and don't need her that week, you still pay her. I know you hate it, but it's part of having a nanny. You just got lucky that your previous nanny took her week's paid vacation when you did.

[Anonymous]

The current contract is ambiguous and is also nonstandard. This merits a sit down with your nanny to discuss what the actual policy is. It is entirely possible that your nanny believes that she is in keeping with the contract. She is giving you several months notice so that you can arrange your vacation time to cover the week she needs to be gone. It is possible that you will be able to work this out to your satisfaction, but my guess is that you insisting upon the cancellation of her summer plans in order to save you money is not going to go over well. It is a pretty standard nanny park that at least one week of vacation can happen at the nanny's discretion. If that is not something you can provide, then it will either cost you more in the time you spend replacing your nanny or it will cost you more because you will have to offer a higher salary to compensate for being so demanding. It is of course possible that you will have a nanny who has few enough other options or has been in the field such a short time that she doesn't realize how unusual this arrangement would be, so you can always hope for that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in need of some advice and would love to know how other people deal with vacations and Nannies. We offer two weeks vacation paid. One week during Christmas and New Years and the other week we ask in our contract for the nanny to work with us and find a vacation week that works for both parties. This way we feel that we are not using our vacation to cover for our nannies vacation. Otherwise, we would not be able to have our own time off. Our first nanny never asked for any time time off and just took the paid time that we took off as her vacation. Our new nanny has asked for a week off in August. I said that should work out for us because we also want to go to the beach. How about the first week in Augus? Her response was no I need the last week off. I said that we could be somewhat flexible and take the second week off instead, but we are not able to take off the last week because of work commitments. She was very firm that only that last week would work for her. I was a little surprised, but maybe it's because we have never had this issue. How do other handle this type of situation, pay the nanny the week the family goes away and the week she wants in August? i guess I am at a loss because I wasn't expecting this conflict? But maybe it's normal....

Yes you pay her for both weeks.
Yes it is normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in need of some advice and would love to know how other people deal with vacations and Nannies. We offer two weeks vacation paid. One week during Christmas and New Years and the other week we ask in our contract for the nanny to work with us and find a vacation week that works for both parties. This way we feel that we are not using our vacation to cover for our nannies vacation. Otherwise, we would not be able to have our own time off. Our first nanny never asked for any time time off and just took the paid time that we took off as her vacation. Our new nanny has asked for a week off in August. I said that should work out for us because we also want to go to the beach. How about the first week in Augus? Her response was no I need the last week off. I said that we could be somewhat flexible and take the second week off instead, but we are not able to take off the last week because of work commitments. She was very firm that only that last week would work for her. I was a little surprised, but maybe it's because we have never had this issue. How do other handle this type of situation, pay the nanny the week the family goes away and the week she wants in August? i guess I am at a loss because I wasn't expecting this conflict? But maybe it's normal....

Yes you pay her for both weeks.
Yes it is normal.

Well said! This is all that it boils down to OP. Yes you should pay her for both weeks, and yes her request is normal. The fact that you expected to dictate 100% of your employee's time off without conflict is what is not normal. How would you feel if your boss attempted to do the same to you?

[Anonymous]

OP, I wanted to add that not everyone with a nanny pays for extra coverage during her time off. But rather than expecting to control both of her weeks, what most folks do is require lots of notice as to when she will use her PTO and then YOU adjust your vacation to line up with her plans. So if you don't want to pay, take your vacation that week, even if less convenient. It's also reasonable to have certain blackout dates (let nanny know that she can't take PTO during spring break or the week you are on a business trip, e.g.), but that needs to be said up front.