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I agree with PP that $13/14 an hour is very low for a fully-qualified, experienced nanny, but one thing to consider is if upping your offer by a couple of dollars per hour AND including light housekeeping (load/run/empty dishwasher, wash/dry/fold/put away kids' laundry, weekly vacuuming, preparing baby/toddler foods in advance, sorting through outgrown clothes, sanitizing toys, etc. - maybe even grocery shopping) would be a way to attract a great nanny while improving your quality of life. Having someone in your home to keep things running smoothly is a huge reason people employ nannies when daycares are cheaper, and it might be worth the extra expenditure for your family - only you'll be able to decide.
I'm a nanny and yes, I have paid federal holidays outlined in my contract, so if a holiday falls on a regular working day I am off with pay that day. If I weren't paid for federal holidays I'd have a tough time paying my bills this time of year - there are so many of them!
I always check. If I know a child is sick or teething, etc., I'll ask in the morning and MB/DB will typically tell me to medicate as necessary and keep the log updated. For things that come on suddenly I will call or text for permission before dosing. If I couldn't reach the parents and it was something serious, like a high fever, I would call the child's pediatrician and get the okay from her. If for some reason all the phones were down, yes I would use my best judgment; that's why they hired me!
OP, I think you and your nanny are just not on the same page and it doesn't have to be any kind of serious issue. Just thank her for keeping an eye on DC's temperature and using her judgment to medicate and bring the fever down and ask her to please get in touch with you or DH in the future before medicating. Then explain your contingency plan if you and DH are both unreachable - what you'd like her to do in that case - and ask if she's comfortable with all of it. Problem solved!
OP, I think you and your nanny are just not on the same page and it doesn't have to be any kind of serious issue. Just thank her for keeping an eye on DC's temperature and using her judgment to medicate and bring the fever down and ask her to please get in touch with you or DH in the future before medicating. Then explain your contingency plan if you and DH are both unreachable - what you'd like her to do in that case - and ask if she's comfortable with all of it. Problem solved!
Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 7-months-old and I keep overhearing my nanny calling her "chunky monkey" "the chunkster" "one with the chunk" "chunkzilla" and "chunkerella". I know she means to be endearing but it hurts my feelings that she calls my baby fat. If I ask her to stop do you think she'll get mad? I just know when my daughter gets older she"ll understand and it might give her body issues.
Babies are supposed to be fat, and it's quite common for family, friends, and caregivers to give nicknames to infants they would not use with older children.
Your nanny knows this. She will not be calling your daughter fat "when she gets older."
I personally don't think you should talk to her until you have figured out why it hurts your feelings, as it's a bit irrational to be hurt over this. If you do talk to her I think she'll be a little affronted and will become uncomfortable having you around, but will not be "mad."
Anonymous wrote:1. Get out of this job. It puts you in compromising position. 2. Call CPS. It could be nothing, but that's not really your call. Do your due diligence and leave it to a professional.
This is very unusual behavior and you have every right to be concerned.
+100000
And do it right away.
nannydebsays wrote:"Hi bosses. I noticed this week that you've installed a drop cam. Is there an issue with my job performance that we need to discuss, or is there something else I need to be aware of that is the reason behind your use of a camera when you are working?"
+100000
Talk to them! I'm hoping for all of you that there is something else going on and your mind will be at ease after MB explains it, but if not, you'll know to keep your eyes peeled for other opportunities. Sorry OP, it is a crappy feeling - but you won't know if it's about you if you don't ask!
For two, three-month-old infants, I do think $20/hr is a reasonable rate - that's $10/hr per family which is a large savings on what you'd paid for an individual nanny, and will allow you to attract candidates who have experience with multiple infants (twins or in a share).
If specific experience is less important to you, $18/hr could work too. Personally I'd err on the side of more money and more experience, as multiple infants is hard work and hiring someone who has done it before will alleviate any worries that they'll find it too overwhelming and quit on you, but you can post your ad with a range of hourly wages and negotiate it with the nannies you like best.
If specific experience is less important to you, $18/hr could work too. Personally I'd err on the side of more money and more experience, as multiple infants is hard work and hiring someone who has done it before will alleviate any worries that they'll find it too overwhelming and quit on you, but you can post your ad with a range of hourly wages and negotiate it with the nannies you like best.
All of the PPs raise valid points about the pros and cons of SOME older and younger nannies, but these sweeping generalizations won't tell you anything about your two specific candidates. Have them each over for a couple of (paid) trial days if possible, to see how they each get along, and go from there.
A nanny in a share often has three or more children, but it really depends on their ages. How old are the twins?
nannydebsays wrote:That is astoundingly rude. Unless she is simply outstanding in every single way other than her pushy assumptions about deserving a (large) bonus, you might consider if keeping her employed is worth the stress.
+1
It really is quite an audacious and entitled thing to say - to demand extra money from her employer? I have never and would never ask for a bonus - I make a point of not even expecting anything, so when I do receive something it's a pleasant surprise - and agree with Nanny Deb that she doesn't sound like the right fit for your family (or any other, honestly).
The only way I can understand this is if you gave her a three-week bonus last year and she is having money troubles and asking for her bonus early seemed to her to be better than asking for an advance. If you think that is the case I would have a different conversation with her about that issue.
Anonymous wrote:Please lets ignore the trolls. Its not the nannies posting ridiculous rates, its someone trying to illicit an argument.
I agree.
I think $16-17 sounds right - you probably could go to $15 as PP suggested, but might find your candidates have less experience with two children of those ages (or maybe not). Best thing to do is to list your ad on the lower end of the range and see who you get for interviews - if you find your perfect nanny you have room to offer her more right off the bat or to give her a bonus/raise after three/six/nine months and if you don't find someone great, post your ad again at one or two dollars more per hour.
I negotiated Christmas Eve and the day after Thanksgiving in my contract, so I'll be sleeping off my turkey dinner on Friday. I have to wonder why you're trying to stir up complaints? Either people will complain or they won't, there's no need to encourage them just so you have a chance to bash them.
Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of her being a princess and having us fund her lifestyle.
Everything else you've posted is irrelevant - you are not happy with your nanny, so you should find someone else.
She sounds too comfortable in your home and in her ways to make substantial changes to her behavior, so begin looking for a new nanny and give your current one her appropriate notice when you have someone else lined up. Be sure to discuss your approach to spending with the new candidates, as well as your desire for her to do grocery shopping or anything else - I don't think you'll have trouble finding someone wonderful who shares your thrifty approach AND is happy to take your DC to the store once a week. A nanny should make your life easier, not add to your stress!
Anonymous wrote:You're doing it almost perfectly. Th only thing you might adjust is not to give her the reward snuggle after the tantrum. Dr. Rene says to not even acknowledge tht the tantrum happened.
The mother on the other hand? That's not good. You could try to talk/strategize with her but at the end of the day you can't force it.
I agree with all of this. The only thing that puts me off about your approach is the post-tantrum snuggles. Of course there is no problem giving kids hugs or snuggles, but don't make it about the tantrum. Just say, "Oh thanks for the snuggle! Do you want to do some coloring now?" and move on right away.
Anonymous wrote:If you are looking to hire someone who feels like your peer, you'll have a better outcome. A professional nanny can do her job and follow instructions, as well as make suggestions, without being subservient. You want someone who is comfortable in their job.
I absolutely agree with this. I've been lucky enough to always find a great fit with the families I've worked for, and I believe a huge part of that is our shared background - we attended similar colleges, have traveled, read the same books and magazines, see the same plays and concerts, etc. It has meant that we're able to connect on a level beyond employee-employer and that alone makes it easier to address issues quickly and casually before they become major concerns.
I'm not sure what you're looking for in a nanny, how you're deciding who to interview, or what you're asking the nannies and their references, but finding someone who fits into your home and life - and not just with your child - will probably make a big difference. What was it about your long-term nanny that made her stand out from the rest?
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