I am honestly devastated and completely lost...

[Anonymous]

you all are assuming that these people are done with this nanny because they want to go on more vacation. we only know this because OP said this (I highly doubt the family said "we'd like to go on vacation more so we need to put DC in daycare"). is she that reliable of a storyteller given her extreme reaction and that she has "never been more disappointed in two people" in her entire life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious -- I can see why a move to daycare between 18-36 months is disruptive. What about a move to a morning preschool/nanny hybrid at 2 years?

We put all 3 of our children in morning preschool at 2 years old with the nanny picking them up. The two children who went 3 mornings a week took longer to adjust than the one who started 5 days a week (and she was only 25 months at the time and was adjusted by day 5 of preschool) but in general it's been great.

In my experience, there are some children who adjust well no matter the age. However, the vast majority of children do not adjust well between 18 and 36 months. And morning preschool with drop-off/pick-up by the nanny is far different from switching from nanny all day to daycare and losing nanny at the same time.

I'm the PP with 3 kids who went to school at 2 years and I completely agree - I never meant to make it sound like putting a 24 month old who's only ever been with a nanny in school would be an easy adjustment. I was just answering the question of how the move to morning preschool+nanny had worked for us when the kids were 2. Maybe that should be a different s/o thread, since it's an entirely different situation than the OP's charge who's moving, losing his nanny and entering full time daycare all at once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you all are assuming that these people are done with this nanny because they want to go on more vacation. we only know this because OP said this (I highly doubt the family said "we'd like to go on vacation more so we need to put DC in daycare"). is she that reliable of a storyteller given her extreme reaction and that she has "never been more disappointed in two people" in her entire life?

I actually believe her 100%. I have known people who have short-changed their kids right and left for vacations, trips, fancy cars and clothes for themselves. Be grateful that you are around people who make you feel that this is so unbelievable. The truth is that it happens all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you all are assuming that these people are done with this nanny because they want to go on more vacation. we only know this because OP said this (I highly doubt the family said "we'd like to go on vacation more so we need to put DC in daycare"). is she that reliable of a storyteller given her extreme reaction and that she has "never been more disappointed in two people" in her entire life?

Exactly.

I bet the parents' side of this could read something like "We had this seemingly great nanny but the longer she was with us the more over-attached she got, and the more judgmental she became. It felt like she was questioning our authority as parents and really being way too emotional. But we like her, and we can't bring ourselves to fire her. So we decided, when Junior was old enough, to make a switch to daycare and we gave her more than a month's notice. We figured that would be easier on everyone. Instead she lost her mind and just totally convinced us we were making the right decision."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are assuming that these people are done with this nanny because they want to go on more vacation. we only know this because OP said this (I highly doubt the family said "we'd like to go on vacation more so we need to put DC in daycare"). is she that reliable of a storyteller given her extreme reaction and that she has "never been more disappointed in two people" in her entire life?

I actually believe her 100%. I have known people who have short-changed their kids right and left for vacations, trips, fancy cars and clothes for themselves. Be grateful that you are around people who make you feel that this is so unbelievable. The truth is that it happens all the time.

Agreed! We are fairly affluent and I'm left speechless sometimes by those around us. Being driven by greed and consumption crosses all economic barriers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are assuming that these people are done with this nanny because they want to go on more vacation. we only know this because OP said this (I highly doubt the family said "we'd like to go on vacation more so we need to put DC in daycare"). is she that reliable of a storyteller given her extreme reaction and that she has "never been more disappointed in two people" in her entire life?

Exactly.

I bet the parents' side of this could read something like "We had this seemingly great nanny but the longer she was with us the more over-attached she got, and the more judgmental she became. It felt like she was questioning our authority as parents and really being way too emotional. But we like her, and we can't bring ourselves to fire her. So we decided, when Junior was old enough, to make a switch to daycare and we gave her more than a month's notice. We figured that would be easier on everyone. Instead she lost her mind and just totally convinced us we were making the right decision."

While the actual reel in mom's head was "My kid is more attached to the nanny than he is to me. Since I'm a selfish bitch and it's all about me, I'm going to dump this little rugrat in a KinderCare and I'll show him who's his mom".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are assuming that these people are done with this nanny because they want to go on more vacation. we only know this because OP said this (I highly doubt the family said "we'd like to go on vacation more so we need to put DC in daycare"). is she that reliable of a storyteller given her extreme reaction and that she has "never been more disappointed in two people" in her entire life?

Exactly.

I bet the parents' side of this could read something like "We had this seemingly great nanny but the longer she was with us the more over-attached she got, and the more judgmental she became. It felt like she was questioning our authority as parents and really being way too emotional. But we like her, and we can't bring ourselves to fire her. So we decided, when Junior was old enough, to make a switch to daycare and we gave her more than a month's notice. We figured that would be easier on everyone. Instead she lost her mind and just totally convinced us we were making the right decision."

While the actual reel in mom's head was "My kid is more attached to the nanny than he is to me. Since I'm a selfish bitch and it's all about me, I'm going to dump this little rugrat in a KinderCare and I'll show him who's his mom".

Right. That's exactly how working moms who hire nannies think. You've nailed it. That way we don't do any actual work of parenting right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are assuming that these people are done with this nanny because they want to go on more vacation. we only know this because OP said this (I highly doubt the family said "we'd like to go on vacation more so we need to put DC in daycare"). is she that reliable of a storyteller given her extreme reaction and that she has "never been more disappointed in two people" in her entire life?

Exactly.

I bet the parents' side of this could read something like "We had this seemingly great nanny but the longer she was with us the more over-attached she got, and the more judgmental she became. It felt like she was questioning our authority as parents and really being way too emotional. But we like her, and we can't bring ourselves to fire her. So we decided, when Junior was old enough, to make a switch to daycare and we gave her more than a month's notice. We figured that would be easier on everyone. Instead she lost her mind and just totally convinced us we were making the right decision."

You bet and you think? Come on, you have less credibility than a biased OP.

Of course we have to take "her side" as truth otherwise there is not point in having a message board at all. This is not "point - counterpoint" where we will now hear the MB;s side of the story. A poster tell their "truth" and we advise or otherwise comment on it.


Sadly, as an MB, I have known parents even more selfish than just sacrificing their child's nanny for a couple of nice vacations and new shoes. As a PP wrote, you are very lucky to think those people don't exist.

There are parents in my kid's school who send the nanny and tutor to parent-teacher conferences and don't even show up. They don't even make the time to meet their child's teacher. Sad. And this is an expensive private school. What were both parents doing that is annually more important than their child?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are assuming that these people are done with this nanny because they want to go on more vacation. we only know this because OP said this (I highly doubt the family said "we'd like to go on vacation more so we need to put DC in daycare"). is she that reliable of a storyteller given her extreme reaction and that she has "never been more disappointed in two people" in her entire life?

Exactly.

I bet the parents' side of this could read something like "We had this seemingly great nanny but the longer she was with us the more over-attached she got, and the more judgmental she became. It felt like she was questioning our authority as parents and really being way too emotional. But we like her, and we can't bring ourselves to fire her. So we decided, when Junior was old enough, to make a switch to daycare and we gave her more than a month's notice. We figured that would be easier on everyone. Instead she lost her mind and just totally convinced us we were making the right decision."

While the actual reel in mom's head was "My kid is more attached to the nanny than he is to me. Since I'm a selfish bitch and it's all about me, I'm going to dump this little rugrat in a KinderCare and I'll show him who's his mom".

I think all MBs have know another MB who feels this way. Sad but true. Maybe that is why the MBs on this thread have been far more sympathetic to OP than the nannies - we simply know more MBs and have seen it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how many of these sympathetic MBs are actually OP?

PP of an above comment and I am not OP.

I'm extremely sympathetic and I think this family has a marvelous nanny on their hands and it too stupid and cheap to see it. In my world, my kids come first. I don't economize to their deteiment.

Flame away, I think daycare is horrible. I'm a MB and the OP is the kind of nanny we had for our kids for many years. She is still very close to our kids am I'm secure enough in my role as a mother to allow another woman to hold a high place in my kids hearts.

Some mothers are terrified of people like the OP, too insecure to allow a woman in their lives who might love them as much as she does.

Thank you, PP! YOU are the MBs that good nannies want to work for. Your children are blessed.

They CANNOT afford the nanny. No, they haven't had a vacation (which everyone deserves, btw), but they are also not paying her very well and acan't afford raises, etc.. And the nanny cannot afford that job. She loves the boy, but she has taken on extra jobs just to pay her bills. This is not a good situation for either party. The daycare is doing a good transition time, and he may love it.

There is "can't afford" and "can't afford", PP. Cannot afford something because the money simply isn't there in any, way, shape or form? Or cannot afford because you want to spend the money on more fun things like vacations and clothes or to save money (while saving money is a laudable goal it is not always possible - this boy staying with his nanny for another year is far more important than having money in the bank at this point).

We are not a wealthy couple by any means. My DH is still in graduate school and we live in a rental apartment. We exist on my salary alone. But we sacrifice for a great nanny for our boy and will continue to do so. We cut cable, vacations, new clothes and saving money - we actually dip into our savings every month to pay our nanny. However, our situation is not forever - once DH graduates he will go to work and we will have two incomes again - and be able to save, buy a house, go on vacations, etc.

As I wrote earlier, I do not save money on my child's back. His welfare comes first - always.

Yup. Nanny family here. We have not flew as a family since our kids were born. In this order : essential bills, savings, nanny, luxuries. I'm sure as hell not swapping out excellent stable childcare for luxuries.let's not bullshit here, many people put themselves before what is best for their kids.

The bolded family cut savings for a nanny. They are borrowing from their future earnings.

[Anonymous]

All these PPs pretending to be MBs; if you have a child, you know every kid is different and you should never judge another parent for doing what's right for their family. Keep that sanctimommy shit locked down.

So in regards to these "MB" posts...I'll take "Things that never happened" for $200, Alex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are assuming that these people are done with this nanny because they want to go on more vacation. we only know this because OP said this (I highly doubt the family said "we'd like to go on vacation more so we need to put DC in daycare"). is she that reliable of a storyteller given her extreme reaction and that she has "never been more disappointed in two people" in her entire life?

Exactly.

I bet the parents' side of this could read something like "We had this seemingly great nanny but the longer she was with us the more over-attached she got, and the more judgmental she became. It felt like she was questioning our authority as parents and really being way too emotional. But we like her, and we can't bring ourselves to fire her. So we decided, when Junior was old enough, to make a switch to daycare and we gave her more than a month's notice. We figured that would be easier on everyone. Instead she lost her mind and just totally convinced us we were making the right decision."

You bet and you think? Come on, you have less credibility than a biased OP.

Of course we have to take "her side" as truth otherwise there is not point in having a message board at all. This is not "point - counterpoint" where we will now hear the MB;s side of the story. A poster tell their "truth" and we advise or otherwise comment on it.


Sadly, as an MB, I have known parents even more selfish than just sacrificing their child's nanny for a couple of nice vacations and new shoes. As a PP wrote, you are very lucky to think those people don't exist.

There are parents in my kid's school who send the nanny and tutor to parent-teacher conferences and don't even show up. They don't even make the time to meet their child's teacher. Sad. And this is an expensive private school. What were both parents doing that is annually more important than their child?!

Good grief, you people are judgmental. My husband is deployed (mom or dad could be on a business trip in another family). I have zero flexibility in my work schedule because I have to cover everything else while he's gone. So the nanny went to the parent/teacher conference. If I could have scheduled the conference at my convenience, I would have gone. But, the day was scheduled by the school. The nanny was available, so she went.

Also, I have four kids. I cannot take four days off four parent/teacher conferences twice a year during the day. I am sure there are others with similar issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how many of these sympathetic MBs are actually OP?

PP of an above comment and I am not OP.

I'm extremely sympathetic and I think this family has a marvelous nanny on their hands and it too stupid and cheap to see it. In my world, my kids come first. I don't economize to their deteiment.

Flame away, I think daycare is horrible. I'm a MB and the OP is the kind of nanny we had for our kids for many years. She is still very close to our kids am I'm secure enough in my role as a mother to allow another woman to hold a high place in my kids hearts.

Some mothers are terrified of people like the OP, too insecure to allow a woman in their lives who might love them as much as she does.

Thank you, PP! YOU are the MBs that good nannies want to work for. Your children are blessed.

They CANNOT afford the nanny. No, they haven't had a vacation (which everyone deserves, btw), but they are also not paying her very well and acan't afford raises, etc.. And the nanny cannot afford that job. She loves the boy, but she has taken on extra jobs just to pay her bills. This is not a good situation for either party. The daycare is doing a good transition time, and he may love it.

There is "can't afford" and "can't afford", PP. Cannot afford something because the money simply isn't there in any, way, shape or form? Or cannot afford because you want to spend the money on more fun things like vacations and clothes or to save money (while saving money is a laudable goal it is not always possible - this boy staying with his nanny for another year is far more important than having money in the bank at this point).

We are not a wealthy couple by any means. My DH is still in graduate school and we live in a rental apartment. We exist on my salary alone. But we sacrifice for a great nanny for our boy and will continue to do so. We cut cable, vacations, new clothes and saving money - we actually dip into our savings every month to pay our nanny. However, our situation is not forever - once DH graduates he will go to work and we will have two incomes again - and be able to save, buy a house, go on vacations, etc.

As I wrote earlier, I do not save money on my child's back. His welfare comes first - always.

Yup. Nanny family here. We have not flew as a family since our kids were born. In this order : essential bills, savings, nanny, luxuries. I'm sure as hell not swapping out excellent stable childcare for luxuries.let's not bullshit here, many people put themselves before what is best for their kids.

The bolded family cut savings for a nanny. They are borrowing from their future earnings.

And that is so bad - why? I wrote earlier that this is what we do. My DH is still in graduate school and we exist on my salary alone until he finishes - but he will finish and start working. Our situation is temporary. If OP's family is in a similar circumstance that it makes sense to borrow from future earnings now when it matters to their child the most. So, we have to wait another two years before we buy our first house - why does that matter? As long as my child is healthy, thriving, secure and we are all happy with the arrangement with our nanny, it makes good economic sense.

Changes are, at the age of most young parents, we will never be earning less than we do now. If you choose to have a child during the "salad years" then you sacrifice for the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are assuming that these people are done with this nanny because they want to go on more vacation. we only know this because OP said this (I highly doubt the family said "we'd like to go on vacation more so we need to put DC in daycare"). is she that reliable of a storyteller given her extreme reaction and that she has "never been more disappointed in two people" in her entire life?

Exactly.

I bet the parents' side of this could read something like "We had this seemingly great nanny but the longer she was with us the more over-attached she got, and the more judgmental she became. It felt like she was questioning our authority as parents and really being way too emotional. But we like her, and we can't bring ourselves to fire her. So we decided, when Junior was old enough, to make a switch to daycare and we gave her more than a month's notice. We figured that would be easier on everyone. Instead she lost her mind and just totally convinced us we were making the right decision."

You bet and you think? Come on, you have less credibility than a biased OP.

Of course we have to take "her side" as truth otherwise there is not point in having a message board at all. This is not "point - counterpoint" where we will now hear the MB;s side of the story. A poster tell their "truth" and we advise or otherwise comment on it.


Sadly, as an MB, I have known parents even more selfish than just sacrificing their child's nanny for a couple of nice vacations and new shoes. As a PP wrote, you are very lucky to think those people don't exist.

There are parents in my kid's school who send the nanny and tutor to parent-teacher conferences and don't even show up. They don't even make the time to meet their child's teacher. Sad. And this is an expensive private school. What were both parents doing that is annually more important than their child?!

Good grief, you people are judgmental. My husband is deployed (mom or dad could be on a business trip in another family). I have zero flexibility in my work schedule because I have to cover everything else while he's gone. So the nanny went to the parent/teacher conference. If I could have scheduled the conference at my convenience, I would have gone. But, the day was scheduled by the school. The nanny was available, so she went.

Also, I have four kids. I cannot take four days off four parent/teacher conferences twice a year during the day. I am sure there are others with similar issues.

Every year for the last four years? That is what these parents have done and no one is deployed.

BTW, even agreeing with someone is being judgmental. You are being judgmental in thinking that I am judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All these PPs pretending to be MBs; if you have a child, you know every kid is different and you should never judge another parent for doing what's right for their family. Keep that sanctimommy shit locked down.

So in regards to these "MB" posts...I'll take "Things that never happened" for $200, Alex.

Yes, when anyone proves you wrong just dismiss them as trolls and liars. That's a great way to learn and grow. I'll take "Living in Denial" for $800, Alex.