I am honestly devastated and completely lost...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here and I have a master's degree in Early Childhood Development. According to my employers, no one advised that their child be put in daycare. They are doing it to save for a house and go on vacation (MB's words were that she hasn't been on a vacation this year or bought new clothes as reasons to put her son in daycare).

It's funny how everyone just latched onto the "vacation" part of it and forgot about saving for a house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:These parents are nuts. I feel sorry for that poor child.

+1 a very poorly thought out move for their child.

+2 Two-years-old is a very bad time to move a child from a home environment with one-on-one attention to a daycare setting. Stupid economy on the parents part - their poor little boy will suffer because they couldn't wait a year.

MB here and these parents SUCK.

Agree! I did this at age 3 and my son freaked out. He lasted in daycare 2 days. Yes, 2. I could not do that to him, he was so distraught. We ended up (thankfully) being able to bring our nanny back and kept her through Kindergarten, as I'm in Loudoun and we have half day. We now do APS now that our kids are school aged. I think institutionally based daycare are terrible unless the kid started out in that environment. It is a harsh environment foe children and I firmly believe in a small home based daycare or nanny attention.

I agree 100%! Hopefully OP's MB will see the light and not be afraid to admit her mistake.

Actually the nanny was the one left apologizing for her silly tantrum.

You not only missed the point, PP, - you also missed OP's subsequent posts.

I also think that OP's MB is making a huge mistake with her child. She should wait a year. And it will be hard for OP after a year as well but at least then she won;t have to worry about her charge.

I get it.

I didn't - she had to apologize for her outburst and ask for her job back. Her subsequent posts simply didn't shed any more light on the situation. I stand by my opinion that no matter how wonderful a nanny she has been for this boy, the parents' most lasting memory of her will be that tantrum and walkout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious -- I can see why a move to daycare between 18-36 months is disruptive. What about a move to a morning preschool/nanny hybrid at 2 years?

We put all 3 of our children in morning preschool at 2 years old with the nanny picking them up. The two children who went 3 mornings a week took longer to adjust than the one who started 5 days a week (and she was only 25 months at the time and was adjusted by day 5 of preschool) but in general it's been great.

In my experience, there are some children who adjust well no matter the age. However, the vast majority of children do not adjust well between 18 and 36 months. And morning preschool with drop-off/pick-up by the nanny is far different from switching from nanny all day to daycare and losing nanny at the same time.

My son started his excellent home daycare at 20 months and was done with adjustment by the end of his first week.

Major difference between home daycare and center.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious -- I can see why a move to daycare between 18-36 months is disruptive. What about a move to a morning preschool/nanny hybrid at 2 years?

We put all 3 of our children in morning preschool at 2 years old with the nanny picking them up. The two children who went 3 mornings a week took longer to adjust than the one who started 5 days a week (and she was only 25 months at the time and was adjusted by day 5 of preschool) but in general it's been great.

In my experience, there are some children who adjust well no matter the age. However, the vast majority of children do not adjust well between 18 and 36 months. And morning preschool with drop-off/pick-up by the nanny is far different from switching from nanny all day to daycare and losing nanny at the same time.

My son started his excellent home daycare at 20 months and was done with adjustment by the end of his first week.

Major difference between home daycare and center.

Did she say what kind of daycare it was? Don't think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe MB is 12 weeks along with a second child.

Maybe they were hoping to put off daycare a little longer, but know they can't afford a nanny for two small children.

Excellent daycares are difficult to get into, and it's much easier to get a sibling in than snag an open spot as a FTP. It would make sense, then, they'd take the opportunity of this spot opening up so they can have quality, secured childcare for both their children.

There are just so many possibilities here, I absolutely do not believe previous outraged posters are MBs. Let's all assume every mom we know is doing the best she can for her family.

Was my theory too reasonable to be skewered by the fake MBs? I feel so left out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe MB is 12 weeks along with a second child.

Maybe they were hoping to put off daycare a little longer, but know they can't afford a nanny for two small children.

Excellent daycares are difficult to get into, and it's much easier to get a sibling in than snag an open spot as a FTP. It would make sense, then, they'd take the opportunity of this spot opening up so they can have quality, secured childcare for both their children.

There are just so many possibilities here, I absolutely do not believe previous outraged posters are MBs. Let's all assume every mom we know is doing the best she can for her family.

Was my theory too reasonable to be skewered by the fake MBs? I feel so left out.

Your point was boring. Nobody cares.

[Anonymous]

Awesome! Thanks PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:you all are assuming that these people are done with this nanny because they want to go on more vacation. we only know this because OP said this (I highly doubt the family said "we'd like to go on vacation more so we need to put DC in daycare"). is she that reliable of a storyteller given her extreme reaction and that she has "never been more disappointed in two people" in her entire life?

Exactly.

I bet the parents' side of this could read something like "We had this seemingly great nanny but the longer she was with us the more over-attached she got, and the more judgmental she became. It felt like she was questioning our authority as parents and really being way too emotional. But we like her, and we can't bring ourselves to fire her. So we decided, when Junior was old enough, to make a switch to daycare and we gave her more than a month's notice. We figured that would be easier on everyone. Instead she lost her mind and just totally convinced us we were making the right decision."

You bet and you think? Come on, you have less credibility than a biased OP.

Of course we have to take "her side" as truth otherwise there is not point in having a message board at all. This is not "point - counterpoint" where we will now hear the MB;s side of the story. A poster tell their "truth" and we advise or otherwise comment on it.


Sadly, as an MB, I have known parents even more selfish than just sacrificing their child's nanny for a couple of nice vacations and new shoes. As a PP wrote, you are very lucky to think those people don't exist.

There are parents in my kid's school who send the nanny and tutor to parent-teacher conferences and don't even show up. They don't even make the time to meet their child's teacher. Sad. And this is an expensive private school. What were both parents doing that is annually more important than their child?!

Good grief, you people are judgmental. My husband is deployed (mom or dad could be on a business trip in another family). I have zero flexibility in my work schedule because I have to cover everything else while he's gone. So the nanny went to the parent/teacher conference. If I could have scheduled the conference at my convenience, I would have gone. But, the day was scheduled by the school. The nanny was available, so she went.

Also, I have four kids. I cannot take four days off four parent/teacher conferences twice a year during the day. I am sure there are others with similar issues.

And this is why I would never have 4 kids and work FT. You cannot parent them properly without a partner who is present.

Not making it to parent teacher conferences. Pitiful.

They just aren't as important as you think.

clearly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These parents are nuts. I feel sorry for that poor child.

+1 a very poorly thought out move for their child.

+2 Two-years-old is a very bad time to move a child from a home environment with one-on-one attention to a daycare setting. Stupid economy on the parents part - their poor little boy will suffer because they couldn't wait a year.

MB here and these parents SUCK.

Agree! I did this at age 3 and my son freaked out. He lasted in daycare 2 days. Yes, 2. I could not do that to him, he was so distraught. We ended up (thankfully) being able to bring our nanny back and kept her through Kindergarten, as I'm in Loudoun and we have half day. We now do APS now that our kids are school aged. I think institutionally based daycare are terrible unless the kid started out in that environment. It is a harsh environment foe children and I firmly believe in a small home based daycare or nanny attention.

I agree 100%! Hopefully OP's MB will see the light and not be afraid to admit her mistake.

Actually the nanny was the one left apologizing for her silly tantrum.

You not only missed the point, PP, - you also missed OP's subsequent posts.

I also think that OP's MB is making a huge mistake with her child. She should wait a year. And it will be hard for OP after a year as well but at least then she won;t have to worry about her charge.

I get it.

I didn't - she had to apologize for her outburst and ask for her job back. Her subsequent posts simply didn't shed any more light on the situation. I stand by my opinion that no matter how wonderful a nanny she has been for this boy, the parents' most lasting memory of her will be that tantrum and walkout.

I disagree 100%. As I wrote just today on a different forum, I am not a delicate flower and understand why people lose their cool. No big deal. Then again I am from a passionate and large family - and not a DC diplomat. Here in the midwest we are more honest in our presentation of our feelings.

And OP never asked for her job back - I read her posts carefully. She never quit - she just walked out on the discussion. Again, I get it. She was overwhelmed with emotion.

Different strokes, I suppose. I am just not delicate like you guys in DC are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe MB is 12 weeks along with a second child.

Maybe they were hoping to put off daycare a little longer, but know they can't afford a nanny for two small children.

Excellent daycares are difficult to get into, and it's much easier to get a sibling in than snag an open spot as a FTP. It would make sense, then, they'd take the opportunity of this spot opening up so they can have quality, secured childcare for both their children.

There are just so many possibilities here, I absolutely do not believe previous outraged posters are MBs. Let's all assume every mom we know is doing the best she can for her family.

Was my theory too reasonable to be skewered by the fake MBs? I feel so left out.

Hmmm, well if you know of a great daycare that gives the same or better quality of care to two children than a nanny does to her sole charges, go for it. Personally, I usually work with 2+ kids because parents find that it's cheaper that way...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here and I have a master's degree in Early Childhood Development. According to my employers, no one advised that their child be put in daycare. They are doing it to save for a house and go on vacation (MB's words were that she hasn't been on a vacation this year or bought new clothes as reasons to put her son in daycare).

It's funny how everyone just latched onto the "vacation" part of it and forgot about saving for a house.

You can save for a house next year. So you buy your first home in 2020 instead of 2019 - what difference does it make? Her child's happiness and security is right now.

BTW OP - I am sorry for what you are going through. I dread the day (and there will be the day) when I have to leave my charges. Luckily I have a better MB/DB than you do. I have been with them for six years and no one went to daycare! Preschool for three hours a day, preK, K and elementary school for all day but not some toddler warehouse at two-years-old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These parents are nuts. I feel sorry for that poor child.

+1 a very poorly thought out move for their child.

+2 Two-years-old is a very bad time to move a child from a home environment with one-on-one attention to a daycare setting. Stupid economy on the parents part - their poor little boy will suffer because they couldn't wait a year.

MB here and these parents SUCK.

Agree! I did this at age 3 and my son freaked out. He lasted in daycare 2 days. Yes, 2. I could not do that to him, he was so distraught. We ended up (thankfully) being able to bring our nanny back and kept her through Kindergarten, as I'm in Loudoun and we have half day. We now do APS now that our kids are school aged. I think institutionally based daycare are terrible unless the kid started out in that environment. It is a harsh environment foe children and I firmly believe in a small home based daycare or nanny attention.

I agree 100%! Hopefully OP's MB will see the light and not be afraid to admit her mistake.

Actually the nanny was the one left apologizing for her silly tantrum.

You not only missed the point, PP, - you also missed OP's subsequent posts.

I also think that OP's MB is making a huge mistake with her child. She should wait a year. And it will be hard for OP after a year as well but at least then she won;t have to worry about her charge.

I get it.

I didn't - she had to apologize for her outburst and ask for her job back. Her subsequent posts simply didn't shed any more light on the situation. I stand by my opinion that no matter how wonderful a nanny she has been for this boy, the parents' most lasting memory of her will be that tantrum and walkout.

I disagree 100%. As I wrote just today on a different forum, I am not a delicate flower and understand why people lose their cool. No big deal. Then again I am from a passionate and large family - and not a DC diplomat. Here in the midwest we are more honest in our presentation of our feelings.

And OP never asked for her job back - I read her posts carefully. She never quit - she just walked out on the discussion. Again, I get it. She was overwhelmed with emotion.

Different strokes, I suppose. I am just not delicate like you guys in DC are.

You can do it all you want in your persona life. At work, you just cannot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here and I have a master's degree in Early Childhood Development. According to my employers, no one advised that their child be put in daycare. They are doing it to save for a house and go on vacation (MB's words were that she hasn't been on a vacation this year or bought new clothes as reasons to put her son in daycare).

It's funny how everyone just latched onto the "vacation" part of it and forgot about saving for a house.

You can save for a house next year. So you buy your first home in 2020 instead of 2019 - what difference does it make? Her child's happiness and security is right now.

BTW OP - I am sorry for what you are going through. I dread the day (and there will be the day) when I have to leave my charges. Luckily I have a better MB/DB than you do. I have been with them for six years and no one went to daycare! Preschool for three hours a day, preK, K and elementary school for all day but not some toddler warehouse at two-years-old.

You are honestly not equipped to make that decision for anyone other than yourself. For all you know, it makes a tremendous difference to the family for the reasons entirely beyond your ideas.

You also have no reason to believe that her child's happiness and security come solely from the nanny and will disappear with her departure. The child will be just as happy and secure six months from now. There's no need to engineer this great drama over nothing.

[Anonymous]

OP- you need to get a grip. I can't believe you walked out on the family and told them "I have never been more disappointed in two people in my entire life" Overly dramatic. You need to calm down. People put their kids in daycare all the time. I put 1 of my 4 kids in daycare at age 2. Guess what? She is the best student of all my kids.
You have to move on- jobs end. I can't believe you walked out though. Totally unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

If you want to maintain your reputation and get a decent reference, you should call the family back and tell them you will finish the next 2 weeks and end it on a nice note- especially for your charge who you say you love. (Unless you have another job already)

Tell them you are sorry for overreacting (which you did), but you are just very sad. That is understandable. Walking out is not.