I am honestly devastated and completely lost...

[Anonymous]

Ummm.....

Ladies please.
OP is clearly young and did not set emotional boundries. I'm sure her employers saw something odd about her behavior and decided to start preschool when the opportunity arose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These parents are nuts. I feel sorry for that poor child.

+1 a very poorly thought out move for their child.

+2 Two-years-old is a very bad time to move a child from a home environment with one-on-one attention to a daycare setting. Stupid economy on the parents part - their poor little boy will suffer because they couldn't wait a year.

MB here and these parents SUCK.

+3 Anyone who knows anything about child development knows that the transition is hardest between 1.5 and 3. Why would do it then, just for vacation?! Makes no sense to me.

+4 Horrible mother to do that for a child just to save money. You beg, borrow and steal to do what is in your child's best interest. This mother should have sacrificed her vacations for one more year and started her DS in daycare at three.

And I'm sorry, OP. I am an MB and I hate what your MB is doing to the child you clearly love. You are right (and good hearted) to do everything you possibly can to support him.

+5 The child was lucky to have this particular nanny in his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ummm.....

Ladies please.
OP is clearly young and did not set emotional boundries. I'm sure her employers saw something odd about her behavior and decided to start preschool when the opportunity arose.

I disagree. OP is NOT young as she stated she was a preschool teacher for 20 years and has a MA in ECD. That puts her at 44, at least, when she tarted this job 2 years ago. So she is 46 at the youngest now.

I do agree she did not set emotional boundaries - but few of us do with our first nanny job. If you did that is great. I know I didn't and I am a mother with grown children who started nannying at 58 - not a kid by any means - and still got way, way too emotionally invested in my first charge. Luckily, I am still with him (and his baby sister five years later!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how many of these sympathetic MBs are actually OP?

PP of an above comment and I am not OP.

I'm extremely sympathetic and I think this family has a marvelous nanny on their hands and it too stupid and cheap to see it. In my world, my kids come first. I don't economize to their deteiment.

Flame away, I think daycare is horrible. I'm a MB and the OP is the kind of nanny we had for our kids for many years. She is still very close to our kids am I'm secure enough in my role as a mother to allow another woman to hold a high place in my kids hearts.

Some mothers are terrified of people like the OP, too insecure to allow a woman in their lives who might love them as much as she does.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how many of these sympathetic MBs are actually OP?

PP of an above comment and I am not OP.

I'm extremely sympathetic and I think this family has a marvelous nanny on their hands and it too stupid and cheap to see it. In my world, my kids come first. I don't economize to their deteiment.

Flame away, I think daycare is horrible. I'm a MB and the OP is the kind of nanny we had for our kids for many years. She is still very close to our kids am I'm secure enough in my role as a mother to allow another woman to hold a high place in my kids hearts.

Some mothers are terrified of people like the OP, too insecure to allow a woman in their lives who might love them as much as she does.

+1 Probably why more MBs are sympathetic to OP than other nannies. Good mothers put their children first and understand that this is a mistake on the part of OP's MB. 24 months is the WORST TIME to start daycare for the first time!!! Who doesn't know this?! Do it before 18 months or after 36 months.

And hugs to you, OP. I know this is very hard for you. Quitting and walking out would have been easier for you but not for your young-but-aware charge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how many of these sympathetic MBs are actually OP?

PP of an above comment and I am not OP.

I'm extremely sympathetic and I think this family has a marvelous nanny on their hands and it too stupid and cheap to see it. In my world, my kids come first. I don't economize to their deteiment.

Flame away, I think daycare is horrible. I'm a MB and the OP is the kind of nanny we had for our kids for many years. She is still very close to our kids am I'm secure enough in my role as a mother to allow another woman to hold a high place in my kids hearts.

Some mothers are terrified of people like the OP, too insecure to allow a woman in their lives who might love them as much as she does.

Thank you, PP! YOU are the MBs that good nannies want to work for. Your children are blessed.

They CANNOT afford the nanny. No, they haven't had a vacation (which everyone deserves, btw), but they are also not paying her very well and acan't afford raises, etc.. And the nanny cannot afford that job. She loves the boy, but she has taken on extra jobs just to pay her bills. This is not a good situation for either party. The daycare is doing a good transition time, and he may love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how many of these sympathetic MBs are actually OP?

PP of an above comment and I am not OP.

I'm extremely sympathetic and I think this family has a marvelous nanny on their hands and it too stupid and cheap to see it. In my world, my kids come first. I don't economize to their deteiment.

Flame away, I think daycare is horrible. I'm a MB and the OP is the kind of nanny we had for our kids for many years. She is still very close to our kids am I'm secure enough in my role as a mother to allow another woman to hold a high place in my kids hearts.

Some mothers are terrified of people like the OP, too insecure to allow a woman in their lives who might love them as much as she does.

Thank you, PP! YOU are the MBs that good nannies want to work for. Your children are blessed.

They CANNOT afford the nanny. No, they haven't had a vacation (which everyone deserves, btw), but they are also not paying her very well and acan't afford raises, etc.. And the nanny cannot afford that job. She loves the boy, but she has taken on extra jobs just to pay her bills. This is not a good situation for either party. The daycare is doing a good transition time, and he may love it.

There is "can't afford" and "can't afford", PP. Cannot afford something because the money simply isn't there in any, way, shape or form? Or cannot afford because you want to spend the money on more fun things like vacations and clothes or to save money (while saving money is a laudable goal it is not always possible - this boy staying with his nanny for another year is far more important than having money in the bank at this point).

We are not a wealthy couple by any means. My DH is still in graduate school and we live in a rental apartment. We exist on my salary alone. But we sacrifice for a great nanny for our boy and will continue to do so. We cut cable, vacations, new clothes and saving money - we actually dip into our savings every month to pay our nanny. However, our situation is not forever - once DH graduates he will go to work and we will have two incomes again - and be able to save, buy a house, go on vacations, etc.

As I wrote earlier, I do not save money on my child's back. His welfare comes first - always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how many of these sympathetic MBs are actually OP?

PP of an above comment and I am not OP.

I'm extremely sympathetic and I think this family has a marvelous nanny on their hands and it too stupid and cheap to see it. In my world, my kids come first. I don't economize to their deteiment.

Flame away, I think daycare is horrible. I'm a MB and the OP is the kind of nanny we had for our kids for many years. She is still very close to our kids am I'm secure enough in my role as a mother to allow another woman to hold a high place in my kids hearts.

Some mothers are terrified of people like the OP, too insecure to allow a woman in their lives who might love them as much as she does.

Thank you, PP! YOU are the MBs that good nannies want to work for. Your children are blessed.

They CANNOT afford the nanny. No, they haven't had a vacation (which everyone deserves, btw), but they are also not paying her very well and acan't afford raises, etc.. And the nanny cannot afford that job. She loves the boy, but she has taken on extra jobs just to pay her bills. This is not a good situation for either party. The daycare is doing a good transition time, and he may love it.

There is "can't afford" and "can't afford", PP. Cannot afford something because the money simply isn't there in any, way, shape or form? Or cannot afford because you want to spend the money on more fun things like vacations and clothes or to save money (while saving money is a laudable goal it is not always possible - this boy staying with his nanny for another year is far more important than having money in the bank at this point).

We are not a wealthy couple by any means. My DH is still in graduate school and we live in a rental apartment. We exist on my salary alone. But we sacrifice for a great nanny for our boy and will continue to do so. We cut cable, vacations, new clothes and saving money - we actually dip into our savings every month to pay our nanny. However, our situation is not forever - once DH graduates he will go to work and we will have two incomes again - and be able to save, buy a house, go on vacations, etc.

As I wrote earlier, I do not save money on my child's back. His welfare comes first - always.

Yup. Nanny family here. We have not flew as a family since our kids were born. In this order : essential bills, savings, nanny, luxuries. I'm sure as hell not swapping out excellent stable childcare for luxuries.let's not bullshit here, many people put themselves before what is best for their kids.

[Anonymous]

She had to take on extra jobs to pay her bills. They could not afford her.

And I think you're crazy if you have zero cushion in case of job loss. Not only will you lose your nanny, but you could lose your home. But you do what you do, and I hope it works out for you.

[Anonymous]

Curious -- I can see why a move to daycare between 18-36 months is disruptive. What about a move to a mornign preschool/nanny hybrid at 2 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious -- I can see why a move to daycare between 18-36 months is disruptive. What about a move to a morning preschool/nanny hybrid at 2 years?

We put all 3 of our children in morning preschool at 2 years old with the nanny picking them up. The two children who went 3 mornings a week took longer to adjust than the one who started 5 days a week (and she was only 25 months at the time and was adjusted by day 5 of preschool) but in general it's been great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She had to take on extra jobs to pay her bills. They could not afford her.

And I think you're crazy if you have zero cushion in case of job loss. Not only will you lose your nanny, but you could lose your home. But you do what you do, and I hope it works out for you.

Who is advocatIing for a nanny over savings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious -- I can see why a move to daycare between 18-36 months is disruptive. What about a move to a morning preschool/nanny hybrid at 2 years?

We put all 3 of our children in morning preschool at 2 years old with the nanny picking them up. The two children who went 3 mornings a week took longer to adjust than the one who started 5 days a week (and she was only 25 months at the time and was adjusted by day 5 of preschool) but in general it's been great.

In my experience, there are some children who adjust well no matter the age. However, the vast majority of children do not adjust well between 18 and 36 months. And morning preschool with drop-off/pick-up by the nanny is far different from switching from nanny all day to daycare and losing nanny at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious -- I can see why a move to daycare between 18-36 months is disruptive. What about a move to a morning preschool/nanny hybrid at 2 years?

We put all 3 of our children in morning preschool at 2 years old with the nanny picking them up. The two children who went 3 mornings a week took longer to adjust than the one who started 5 days a week (and she was only 25 months at the time and was adjusted by day 5 of preschool) but in general it's been great.

In my experience, there are some children who adjust well no matter the age. However, the vast majority of children do not adjust well between 18 and 36 months. And morning preschool with drop-off/pick-up by the nanny is far different from switching from nanny all day to daycare and losing nanny at the same time.

I agree. Daycare and preschool are very different. THis is a child who has never slept/napped anywhere but his won bed. Has never eaten a meal with other children. Has always had one-on-one care for two years. All the other kids in his daycare room will be seasoned lifers (like my kids!) He will have a very, very hard time most likely and NOT worth MB's savings or vacation. 18 to 36 months is the worst time to move a toddler from home to daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious -- I can see why a move to daycare between 18-36 months is disruptive. What about a move to a morning preschool/nanny hybrid at 2 years?

We put all 3 of our children in morning preschool at 2 years old with the nanny picking them up. The two children who went 3 mornings a week took longer to adjust than the one who started 5 days a week (and she was only 25 months at the time and was adjusted by day 5 of preschool) but in general it's been great.

In my experience, there are some children who adjust well no matter the age. However, the vast majority of children do not adjust well between 18 and 36 months. And morning preschool with drop-off/pick-up by the nanny is far different from switching from nanny all day to daycare and losing nanny at the same time.

Yup. Huge difference between a child 10hrs a day with 25 other kids in a daycare and a child who spends from 3-5 days a week in a preschool from 9am-noon with 12 other children and the exact same teachers every single time the are there for the duration of the 3hrs.