I am honestly devastated and completely lost...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:23:59 is right on.

SWF = Single White Female. I'm sure you understand the cultural reference.

And you're either a troll or a liar, because there is no way your MB said they made this choice to go on a vacation. Nice try.

You do not have a degree or you would know that he's going to be just fine in daycare and that part of your job as his nanny is to encourage him in this next step of his life, with confidence and enthusiasm. Most 20 year old nannies I met understand that.

So, whatever, you're behaving atrociously and behaved atrociously to his parents. Any MB supporting you is reading over the part where you gave his parents what for, told them to mail you your check, and stormed out. No parent wants their nanny to say goodbye to their child like that, and no worthy nanny would either. Being emotional is one thing, behaving like an adolescent is seriously worrying.

Sock puppet. Nice try but you are 23:59. Your poor grammar gave you away.

Not a sock puppet. You can report to Jeff and he will verify. Go ahead.

Please highlight my poor grammar, keeping in mind I corrected the verb tense of "understood" which remained after I rewrote that sentence. I'm always looking to improve myself.

[Anonymous]

P.S. Obviously I AM the poster who used the SWF reference, hence my addressing OPs question about the acronym.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is very difficult when you have to leave a charge - I know. I am sorry, OP.

Please ignore the nasty posters. Any good nanny feels a loss when she has to leave a charge. Give it time, OP.

Did you read what OP did? How she responded to the parents and her assertions that she knows better than they do what's best for their son? That is nothing like the sadness I felt when saying goodbye to my former charges. Painful, yes, but I certainly didn't lose my temper. We are not being nasty we are being honest. OP is not cut out for nannying if she thinks that getting attached to a child means acting like she did when the job ends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very difficult when you have to leave a charge - I know. I am sorry, OP.

Please ignore the nasty posters. Any good nanny feels a loss when she has to leave a charge. Give it time, OP.

Did you read what OP did? How she responded to the parents and her assertions that she knows better than they do what's best for their son? That is nothing like the sadness I felt when saying goodbye to my former charges. Painful, yes, but I certainly didn't lose my temper. We are not being nasty we are being honest. OP is not cut out for nannying if she thinks that getting attached to a child means acting like she did when the job ends.

She might know what it better for their son than they do. Not everything we we do is perfect and right. I am an MB and I don't have trouble seeing that.

I don't think not being about to go on vacation or buy new clothes is a reason to pry a two-year-old from this nanny and start him in daycare. The parents should have started daycare when he was an infant or waited until three at the very least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very difficult when you have to leave a charge - I know. I am sorry, OP.

Please ignore the nasty posters. Any good nanny feels a loss when she has to leave a charge. Give it time, OP.

Did you read what OP did? How she responded to the parents and her assertions that she knows better than they do what's best for their son? That is nothing like the sadness I felt when saying goodbye to my former charges. Painful, yes, but I certainly didn't lose my temper. We are not being nasty we are being honest. OP is not cut out for nannying if she thinks that getting attached to a child means acting like she did when the job ends.

She might know what it better for their son than they do. Not everything we we do is perfect and right. I am an MB and I don't have trouble seeing that.

I don't think not being about to go on vacation or buy new clothes is a reason to pry a two-year-old from this nanny and start him in daycare. The parents should have started daycare when he was an infant or waited until three at the very least.

+1 Another MB here and motherhood doesn't make you infallible. Two is a bad time to start daycare and the nanny probably knows her kid better than she does. And the nanny having been a preschool teacher gives her more credibility.

The only issue is that the nanny loved her charge too much. That is a problem I would love to have.

I am sorry, OP. Are you in the DC area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so, so sorry, OP. So sorry. Take a breath - it just happened and you are stunned.


Let this be a lesson to other nannies. NEVER get too close, never think of your charge/job above yourself, and never make sacrificed for your employers. Never. ANY MB/DB can spring this on you out of the blue and BAM - you are out of the child'd life forever.

This. I am so sorry, OP. I can truly feel your heartbreak.

I agree with the bolded part. You have to put yourself first and you have to be professional. This is a job and nothing more. The parents owe you nothing, not even an explanation. Saving money is their right. A totally valid reason to go the daycare route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so, so sorry, OP. So sorry. Take a breath - it just happened and you are stunned.


Let this be a lesson to other nannies. NEVER get too close, never think of your charge/job above yourself, and never make sacrificed for your employers. Never. ANY MB/DB can spring this on you out of the blue and BAM - you are out of the child'd life forever.

This. I am so sorry, OP. I can truly feel your heartbreak.

I agree with the bolded part. You have to put yourself first and you have to be professional. This is a job and nothing more. The parents owe you nothing, not even an explanation. Saving money is their right. A totally valid reason to go the daycare route.

+1 This is a job and nothing more. Always keep this in mind, nannies - sometimes you will find amazing parents who will treat you well and encourage you to be in their child's life for their child's sake but most of the time you will not. Never give more of yourslef than you can afford to lose.

Hugs, OP. No time is ever as hard as the first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am been the nanny for a wonderful little boy for the last two years, since his birth. I have been a truly great nanny (even if you don't believe me, please accept this as true for argument sake). Beyond just being a great nanny, I have a bond with my charge and I love him more than I ever thought possible to love a child not my own. And I have sacrificed to stay this child's nanny - passing up far more lucrative positions and even taking a second weekend job just to stay his nanny.

Just a few minutes ago, the parents told me they are putting him in daycare. THis has been in the works - the preparation for daycare for awhile. When they told me, I was stunned. They both said that I was fantastic and that their child would not be the great and smart kid he is had it not been for me.

I lost it. First, all day daycare is a huge mistake for this particular boy at this time in his life. Second, because they just sprung it on me.

I don't know what to do now. I said my peace and told them my truth - that I have never been more disappointed in two people in my entire life. I walked in and kissed my beautiful charge and told him that I loved him. I asked them to send my last paycheck and walked out. Clearly, the parents did not expect me to be done that moment and they have no care for their son until daycare starts. But I don't know what to do.

I cannot see spending the next two weeks (or however long they had in mind) crying every time I look at him. How would I go around to our usual story times, music class, parent & me, etc when everyone knows us and explain that I will no longer be this fantastic and polite little boy's nanny anymore...

What is the right thing to do? I honestly don't know. THis is my first longterm nanny job (although I have been a preschool teacher for twenty years so I am obviously not a kid).

I am sick about this. Please - someone - tell me what to do. I know I got too attached. I know I sacrificed far too much to stay his nanny - but I thought I was appreciated.

BTW, they are only putting him in daycare to save money.

Have you considered that this statement might not bode well when it comes time for a reference? I know you are upset and sad to leave, but this was not a professional (or kind) thing to say. No job lasts forever -- if you decide to stay in the nanny profession, it might be wise figure out why you become so emotionally attached. Yes, it's great that you love your charge so much, but the bottom line is that the parents get to make all decisions regarding what is best for their child.

[Anonymous]

OP here. And thank you for all the comments. Love or hate me, please help me...

How can I best prepare my charge for all-day daycare? I don't want this transition to be hard for him. He is a sensitive little guy and small for his age. He is also hard to understand if you haven't been around him a lot.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. And thank you for all the comments. Love or hate me, please help me...

How can I best prepare my charge for all-day daycare? I don't want this transition to be hard for him. He is a sensitive little guy and small for his age. He is also hard to understand if you haven't been around him a lot.

Thank you.

OP again. There is a two-week orientation at his daycare where he stays for an hour a day and increasing each day. Should I do this with him or is that better left to his mother/father?

I truly want this to be as easy on him as possible and I will do whatever it takes.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. And thank you for all the comments. Love or hate me, please help me...

How can I best prepare my charge for all-day daycare? I don't want this transition to be hard for him. He is a sensitive little guy and small for his age. He is also hard to understand if you haven't been around him a lot.

Thank you.

OP again. There is a two-week orientation at his daycare where he stays for an hour a day and increasing each day. Should I do this with him or is that better left to his mother/father?

I truly want this to be as easy on him as possible and I will do whatever it takes.

Thanks.

You may want to repost on the General Forum and under a different subject line her, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. And thank you for all the comments. Love or hate me, please help me...

How can I best prepare my charge for all-day daycare? I don't want this transition to be hard for him. He is a sensitive little guy and small for his age. He is also hard to understand if you haven't been around him a lot.

Thank you.

Op I'm confused , you said you quit ? How can you help him when you quit already ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. And thank you for all the comments. Love or hate me, please help me...

How can I best prepare my charge for all-day daycare? I don't want this transition to be hard for him. He is a sensitive little guy and small for his age. He is also hard to understand if you haven't been around him a lot.

Thank you.

Op I'm confused , you said you quit ? How can you help him when you quit already ?

OP here and no I didn't quit - I walked out of the discussion but called MB an hour later and talked it out. I agreed to stay for my charge's sake. His orientation starts in three weeks so I have three weeks to prepare him for the change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. And thank you for all the comments. Love or hate me, please help me...

How can I best prepare my charge for all-day daycare? I don't want this transition to be hard for him. He is a sensitive little guy and small for his age. He is also hard to understand if you haven't been around him a lot.

Thank you.

Have the parents asked you to help prepare him for this transition? If not, you need to ask them if there is anything they'd like you to do, and if not, you don't do anything. They are his parents.

You mentioned in your OP that you've turned down other jobs and taken a second job so that you cld stay with this family. I'm wondering if the attachment you demonstrated was too much for the family to handle? Job loyalty is a wonderful thing, but you've taken it a step too far. At this point, you need to make the next 2 weeks as less stressful as possible. Don't cry around your charge, remain positive and upbeat (kids can totally pick up stress) and leave with dignity.

I posted earlier abt references. A reference of, "she's wonderful and it was so hard to say goodbye" vs. "she was a wonderful nanny in every aspect, but when had to tell her we would be switching to daycare, it did not end well. She told us that 'she'd never been more disappointed with 2 people in her entire life' and spent the last 2 weeks so sad that my son picked up on her stress." Option 1 is good; option 2 cld make it very difficult for you to find a new job.

For the next two weeks: have a wonderful time making memories with your charge, follow the lead of the parents and if you haven't done so already, apologize for you earlier behavior. This hard, but no job lasts forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. And thank you for all the comments. Love or hate me, please help me...

How can I best prepare my charge for all-day daycare? I don't want this transition to be hard for him. He is a sensitive little guy and small for his age. He is also hard to understand if you haven't been around him a lot.

Thank you.

Have the parents asked you to help prepare him for this transition? If not, you need to ask them if there is anything they'd like you to do, and if not, you don't do anything. They are his parents.

You mentioned in your OP that you've turned down other jobs and taken a second job so that you cld stay with this family. I'm wondering if the attachment you demonstrated was too much for the family to handle? Job loyalty is a wonderful thing, but you've taken it a step too far. At this point, you need to make the next 2 weeks as less stressful as possible. Don't cry around your charge, remain positive and upbeat (kids can totally pick up stress) and leave with dignity.

I posted earlier abt references. A reference of, "she's wonderful and it was so hard to say goodbye" vs. "she was a wonderful nanny in every aspect, but when had to tell her we would be switching to daycare, it did not end well. She told us that 'she'd never been more disappointed with 2 people in her entire life' and spent the last 2 weeks so sad that my son picked up on her stress." Option 1 is good; option 2 cld make it very difficult for you to find a new job.

For the next two weeks: have a wonderful time making memories with your charge, follow the lead of the parents and if you haven't done so already, apologize for you earlier behavior. This hard, but no job lasts forever.

Thank you. OP here and yes, the parents asked me to help with his transition but they have no clue how to do it and neither do I. Of course, I don't want my charge to pick up on my sadness. I am not stressed or worried about finding another job - I am just sad to be leaving this charge.

Yes, I do love him too much and am too devoted to him. You get no argument from me there. Lesson learned, believe me. It was so much easier being a teacher and knowing the kids come and go.