I am honestly devastated and completely lost...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am going to be the tough one here.

Op, I feel you. I was with a family for 3 years and helped raised their son from 6 weeks. They decided to move to Montessori school. They gave me two weeks notice. I was blindsided and upset. Then I realized this is the nature of the job. My MB and DB make the decision for their family and I have no say in when or what time they move on to daycare, school, etc. They are making a decision best for their family and I had to respect that. They don't owe me anything but notice.

I understand your hurt but it seems like the gave you two weeks notice. I think you have become a little too attached, and they were quite shocked by your reaction and behavior. I'm hoping you didn't address why he shouldn't go to daycare at that age because it isn't your business. As long as they give you proper notice, they do not need to discuss any future plans with you.

Frankly, you seem naive. I think you acted very unprofessionally. As adults we realize things like this come to end, and even though it sucks, we finish out a commitment and move on. There will be infinite amount of changes and you need to develop the maturity to handle things a little better. Leaving right away has likely shown you in a very poor light. I wouldn't be surprised if you have to kiss that reference goodbye.

Lastly, you do not need to explain how good of a nanny you are. Choosing daycare has nothing to do with your work. They chose a route that better serves this phase in life. If transitions are this tough on you, maybe you should choose a profession with less emotional connections.

I would also like to note that I still am in touch with the family. I was upset but so glad for them. I finished out my two weeks and left gracefully. You seem a little immature and crazy. I think being a nanny is too difficult for you.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP, it hurts. I know from experience that you will never again be as close to any child as your first charge.

I have been blessed in always working for amazing families and have stayed with all my charges (two different sets of twins) from birth thru first grade. Their parents still want to be a part of their lives. I am with another great family now - a little boy - and I am bonded with him but nothing close to my feelings for my first set of twin charges (whom I still see).

It is heartbreaking that your charge's parents are throwing him into daycare at such a tender age and so suddenly. It is different when a child has always been in daycare and knows nothing else since infancy. Your charge will struggle. I am sure you will now prepare him as best you can. Whatever you do - remember your are doing it for the child and not the parents.

With preschool teaching experience, OP, you should be with an agency. You will get much higher income parents and better educated parents than with an online do-it-yourself service. Your current employers hired a nanny without realizing that they couldn't afford one - and now their child will suffer. He will adapt, of course, but at what cost and how many tears? Get with a wealthier family next time, OP.

[Anonymous]

Wtf pp, they employed a nanny for two years who are you to say they can't afford one?

Many agencies only want to work with nannies who have a college degree, which we don't know OP has.

Daycare is not institutionalization and if it's handled appropriately, there shouldn't be any tears after the first day or two. My charge went from being PT with grandma and PT with me into daycare at 2 without a hitch, and now at 3 she tells me all about her friends and teachers there.

Stop pretending like you all are the experts on this child's development, because you're not. Maybe the child's pediatrician advised it for some reason, that DOES happen. Maybe the parents recognized their nanny was getting a little too SWF with their child (who could blame them). Parents say it's to save money when it isn't anything YOU have done, they want you to know there is nothing you did wrong or could have done differently - it does not mean that's the real, or only, reason.

[Anonymous]

I'm shocked at your behavior and the fact that you said you're not working your very first job. This is the kind of behavior that wouldn't surprise me if you were 18-22.

Grow up, lady! You are an employee. Not a co-parent, and not in charge overall.

Maybe one of the parents just got laid off and they need to cut costs. Maybe the parents don't think you're as great as you think you are. Maybe a thousand things, but none of them are your business.

You need to do some real soul-searching and possibly get therapy about how attached you got here. Jobs end. ALL jobs eventually end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wtf pp, they employed a nanny for two years who are you to say they can't afford one?

Many agencies only want to work with nannies who have a college degree, which we don't know OP has.

Daycare is not institutionalization and if it's handled appropriately, there shouldn't be any tears after the first day or two. My charge went from being PT with grandma and PT with me into daycare at 2 without a hitch, and now at 3 she tells me all about her friends and teachers there.

Stop pretending like you all are the experts on this child's development, because you're not. Maybe the child's pediatrician advised it for some reason, that DOES happen. Maybe the parents recognized their nanny was getting a little too SWF with their child (who could blame them). Parents say it's to save money when it isn't anything YOU have done, they want you to know there is nothing you did wrong or could have done differently - it does not mean that's the real, or only, reason.

Why are you the nanny for a child in daycare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP, it hurts. I know from experience that you will never again be as close to any child as your first charge.

I have been blessed in always working for amazing families and have stayed with all my charges (two different sets of twins) from birth thru first grade. Their parents still want to be a part of their lives. I am with another great family now - a little boy - and I am bonded with him but nothing close to my feelings for my first set of twin charges (whom I still see).

It is heartbreaking that your charge's parents are throwing him into daycare at such a tender age and so suddenly. It is different when a child has always been in daycare and knows nothing else since infancy. Your charge will struggle. I am sure you will now prepare him as best you can. Whatever you do - remember your are doing it for the child and not the parents.

With preschool teaching experience, OP, you should be with an agency. You will get much higher income parents and better educated parents than with an online do-it-yourself service. Your current employers hired a nanny without realizing that they couldn't afford one - and now their child will suffer. He will adapt, of course, but at what cost and how many tears? Get with a wealthier family next time, OP.

This, OP. Learn from this. I have been the nanny for a very wealthy, very high profile family for nearly eleven years (two children) and the parents respect me and my relationship to their children. Definitely go through a reputable agency.

And I am very sorry, OP. I too would be devastated in your shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wtf pp, they employed a nanny for two years who are you to say they can't afford one?

Many agencies only want to work with nannies who have a college degree, which we don't know OP has.

Daycare is not institutionalization and if it's handled appropriately, there shouldn't be any tears after the first day or two. My charge went from being PT with grandma and PT with me into daycare at 2 without a hitch, and now at 3 she tells me all about her friends and teachers there.

Stop pretending like you all are the experts on this child's development, because you're not. Maybe the child's pediatrician advised it for some reason, that DOES happen. Maybe the parents recognized their nanny was getting a little too SWF with their child (who could blame them). Parents say it's to save money when it isn't anything YOU have done, they want you to know there is nothing you did wrong or could have done differently - it does not mean that's the real, or only, reason.

Why are you the nanny for a child in daycare?

*My former charge

I babysit for her a few times a month now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wtf pp, they employed a nanny for two years who are you to say they can't afford one?

Many agencies only want to work with nannies who have a college degree, which we don't know OP has.

Daycare is not institutionalization and if it's handled appropriately, there shouldn't be any tears after the first day or two. My charge went from being PT with grandma and PT with me into daycare at 2 without a hitch, and now at 3 she tells me all about her friends and teachers there.

Stop pretending like you all are the experts on this child's development, because you're not. Maybe the child's pediatrician advised it for some reason, that DOES happen. Maybe the parents recognized their nanny was getting a little too SWF with their child (who could blame them). Parents say it's to save money when it isn't anything YOU have done, they want you to know there is nothing you did wrong or could have done differently - it does not mean that's the real, or only, reason.

OP here and I have a master's degree in Early Childhood Development. According to my employers, no one advised that their child be put in daycare. They are doing it to save for a house and go on vacation (MB's words were that she hasn't been on a vacation this year or bought new clothes as reasons to put her son in daycare).

It is my opinion that daycare is not right for my charge. My educated opinion and knowledge gained from being his nanny.

And I don't know what "SWF with the child" means.

I will grant you that I love him too much. I never should have gotten to attached to him, But I am proud of the work I have done with him and what a smart and polite little guy he is.

I am sorry if you feel I am overreacting. This has come out of the blue and I am simply stunned.


And to the OP who suggested and agency: yes, I am going to go through an agency this time. My weekend position was through an agency and it is a great job and well-paying. I will not make the same mistakes I made with this soon-to-be-former MB/DB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wtf pp, they employed a nanny for two years who are you to say they can't afford one?

Many agencies only want to work with nannies who have a college degree, which we don't know OP has.

Daycare is not institutionalization and if it's handled appropriately, there shouldn't be any tears after the first day or two. My charge went from being PT with grandma and PT with me into daycare at 2 without a hitch, and now at 3 she tells me all about her friends and teachers there.

Stop pretending like you all are the experts on this child's development, because you're not. Maybe the child's pediatrician advised it for some reason, that DOES happen. Maybe the parents recognized their nanny was getting a little too SWF with their child (who could blame them). Parents say it's to save money when it isn't anything YOU have done, they want you to know there is nothing you did wrong or could have done differently - it does not mean that's the real, or only, reason.

OP here and I have a master's degree in Early Childhood Development. According to my employers, no one advised that their child be put in daycare. They are doing it to save for a house and go on vacation (MB's words were that she hasn't been on a vacation this year or bought new clothes as reasons to put her son in daycare).

It is my opinion that daycare is not right for my charge. My educated opinion and knowledge gained from being his nanny.

And I don't know what "SWF with the child" means.

I will grant you that I love him too much. I never should have gotten to attached to him, But I am proud of the work I have done with him and what a smart and polite little guy he is.

I am sorry if you feel I am overreacting. This has come out of the blue and I am simply stunned.

And to the OP who suggested and agency: yes, I am going to go through an agency this time. My weekend position was through an agency and it is a great job and well-paying. I will not make the same mistakes I made with this soon-to-be-former MB/DB.

Nanny from 22:38 here.

OP you are way way out of line. You're attitude is atrocious. When is it up to you to dictate what daycare you feel is best for him? You have no right because you did not give birth to this child. You are only a nanny. The only people who make those decisions are his parents. Im surprised you shave a degree in ECD with your attitude. Children are highly resilient creatures. He will adapt. They have done nothing wrong.

I think you need to take a hard look at yourself. I'm beginning to wonder if your employers witnessed this behavior and decided to terminate your employment because of it. For a woman in here 30-40's acting like a teenager shows that you need some therapy ASAP. You will be the one making this hard on your change by your unprofessional and inexcusable behavior.

Frankly, I do not think you belong in the nanny field at all. You are way too immature, unrealistic, and unprofessional. Young children need a nanny who will be a positive role model. You sound very clingy and emotional dependent on your job. Please seek therapy asap.
I would have never let you come back if I were your bosses. The lack of ownership and taking responsibility shows you are too incapable for this job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wtf pp, they employed a nanny for two years who are you to say they can't afford one?

Many agencies only want to work with nannies who have a college degree, which we don't know OP has.

Daycare is not institutionalization and if it's handled appropriately, there shouldn't be any tears after the first day or two. My charge went from being PT with grandma and PT with me into daycare at 2 without a hitch, and now at 3 she tells me all about her friends and teachers there.

Stop pretending like you all are the experts on this child's development, because you're not. Maybe the child's pediatrician advised it for some reason, that DOES happen. Maybe the parents recognized their nanny was getting a little too SWF with their child (who could blame them). Parents say it's to save money when it isn't anything YOU have done, they want you to know there is nothing you did wrong or could have done differently - it does not mean that's the real, or only, reason.

OP here and I have a master's degree in Early Childhood Development. According to my employers, no one advised that their child be put in daycare. They are doing it to save for a house and go on vacation (MB's words were that she hasn't been on a vacation this year or bought new clothes as reasons to put her son in daycare).

It is my opinion that daycare is not right for my charge. My educated opinion and knowledge gained from being his nanny.

And I don't know what "SWF with the child" means.

I will grant you that I love him too much. I never should have gotten to attached to him, But I am proud of the work I have done with him and what a smart and polite little guy he is.

I am sorry if you feel I am overreacting. This has come out of the blue and I am simply stunned.

And to the OP who suggested and agency: yes, I am going to go through an agency this time. My weekend position was through an agency and it is a great job and well-paying. I will not make the same mistakes I made with this soon-to-be-former MB/DB.

Nanny from 22:38 here.

OP you are way way out of line. You're attitude is atrocious. When is it up to you to dictate what daycare you feel is best for him? You have no right because you did not give birth to this child. You are only a nanny. The only people who make those decisions are his parents. Im surprised you shave a degree in ECD with your attitude. Children are highly resilient creatures. He will adapt. They have done nothing wrong.

I think you need to take a hard look at yourself. I'm beginning to wonder if your employers witnessed this behavior and decided to terminate your employment because of it. For a woman in here 30-40's acting like a teenager shows that you need some therapy ASAP. You will be the one making this hard on your change by your unprofessional and inexcusable behavior.

Frankly, I do not think you belong in the nanny field at all. You are way too immature, unrealistic, and unprofessional. Young children need a nanny who will be a positive role model. You sound very clingy and emotional dependent on your job. Please seek therapy asap.
I would have never let you come back if I were your bosses. The lack of ownership and taking responsibility shows you are too incapable for this job.

Calm down, PP. Give the poor OP a chance to digest the news! She just found out a few hours ago!!!!

You people are heartless.

MB here and I am very sorry, OP. Know that the good you did your charge will be a part of him forever. I wish you better luck in the future.

[Anonymous]

23:59 is right on.

SWF = Single White Female. I'm sure you understand the cultural reference.

And you're either a troll or a liar, because there is no way your MB said they made this choice to go on a vacation. Nice try.

You do not have a degree or you would know that he's going to be just fine in daycare and that part of your job as his nanny is to encourage him in this next step of his life, with confidence and enthusiasm. Most 20 year old nannies I met understand that.

So, whatever, you're behaving atrociously and behaved atrociously to his parents. Any MB supporting you is reading over the part where you gave his parents what for, told them to mail you your check, and stormed out. No parent wants their nanny to say goodbye to their child like that, and no worthy nanny would either. Being emotional is one thing, behaving like an adolescent is seriously worrying.

[Anonymous]

*understood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:23:59 is right on.

SWF = Single White Female. I'm sure you understand the cultural reference.

And you're either a troll or a liar, because there is no way your MB said they made this choice to go on a vacation. Nice try.

You do not have a degree or you would know that he's going to be just fine in daycare and that part of your job as his nanny is to encourage him in this next step of his life, with confidence and enthusiasm. Most 20 year old nannies I met understand that.

So, whatever, you're behaving atrociously and behaved atrociously to his parents. Any MB supporting you is reading over the part where you gave his parents what for, told them to mail you your check, and stormed out. No parent wants their nanny to say goodbye to their child like that, and no worthy nanny would either. Being emotional is one thing, behaving like an adolescent is seriously worrying.

Sock puppet. Nice try but you are 23:59. Your poor grammar gave you away.

[Anonymous]

It is very difficult when you have to leave a charge - I know. I am sorry, OP.

Please ignore the nasty posters. Any good nanny feels a loss when she has to leave a charge. Give it time, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am been the nanny for a wonderful little boy for the last two years, since his birth. I have been a truly great nanny (even if you don't believe me, please accept this as true for argument sake). Beyond just being a great nanny, I have a bond with my charge and I love him more than I ever thought possible to love a child not my own. And I have sacrificed to stay this child's nanny - passing up far more lucrative positions and even taking a second weekend job just to stay his nanny.

Just a few minutes ago, the parents told me they are putting him in daycare. THis has been in the works - the preparation for daycare for awhile. When they told me, I was stunned. They both said that I was fantastic and that their child would not be the great and smart kid he is had it not been for me.

I lost it. First, all day daycare is a huge mistake for this particular boy at this time in his life. Second, because they just sprung it on me.

I don't know what to do now. I said my peace and told them my truth - that I have never been more disappointed in two people in my entire life. I walked in and kissed my beautiful charge and told him that I loved him. I asked them to send my last paycheck and walked out. Clearly, the parents did not expect me to be done that moment and they have no care for their son until daycare starts. But I don't know what to do.

I cannot see spending the next two weeks (or however long they had in mind) crying every time I look at him. How would I go around to our usual story times, music class, parent & me, etc when everyone knows us and explain that I will no longer be this fantastic and polite little boy's nanny anymore...

What is the right thing to do? I honestly don't know. THis is my first longterm nanny job (although I have been a preschool teacher for twenty years so I am obviously not a kid).

I am sick about this. Please - someone - tell me what to do. I know I got too attached. I know I sacrificed far too much to stay his nanny - but I thought I was appreciated.

BTW, they are only putting him in daycare to save money.

you must be kidding me .this to me a mother's writing to her self As a nanny.should not be feeling that way the charge is not yours you got that mom shouldn't feel that way come on do the work you leave to me me the people in this world they should love him more than you just saying?

Sorry, I have no clue what you are trying to say. Please try writing actual sentences with punctuation. Please.