Am I doing something wrong here or is it bad luck?

[Anonymous]

Get an au pair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP.
Your Nannies all sound like complete losers to me!

For your next hire - I strongly suggest that you do not contact references until you have met the potential Nanny first.
This way, the Nanny does not exhaust her references.
References are usually contacted as a last step before hire.

(This is just a friendly suggestion...... I personally do not think it has anything to do w/your Nanny issues!)

Do you work from home?
Does your husband??
Perhaps this dynamic is making it harder to get a decent Nanny since the majority of Nannies feel a bit uncomfortable when their charge’s parents are in the home at the same time.

And if you do telecommute, do you interfere w/the Nanny’s autonomy?
Nannies for the most part do not like being micromanaged at all so if you are coming into the room when your child cries for example, it may make the job a tad stressful.

Also if you have cameras set up in your home, this could also cause a Nanny to feel resentful especially if you mention something that you saw on the video that may seem benign.

Finally, are you hiring younger Nannies?
Younger Nannies tend to be on their phones more often & are usually not financially dependent on their job since their parents may still be supporting them.
Older Nannies tend to be more responsible in general.....
They usually have a much better work ethic.

I am basically speculating “possible” reasons.
Just some food for thought here.

If I were you, I would stay away from these online childcare websites where anyone can use the title “Professional Nanny” and choose instead to search for a reliable + responsible person through a good, reputable Nanny agency.

I wish you the best in your search!

I think it has a ton to do with who you hire. Most of us will give a job a pass if we have to give references first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny of 15 years and I prefer to have part-time jobs! For several years I worked in a daycare in the mornings and had school-aged kids in the afternoon, and for a couple of years I worked two full days at the daycare and 3 full days with a family who had similar needs as OP.

I don't think it's you, OP, those nannies are literally either not showing up or sleeping on the job. Part-time or not, that's unacceptable. From what you're saying I'm not getting the idea that they're feeling micromanaged. When you're being micromanaged you don't exactly have time for naps on the clock.

I think you maybe need to up your interview game: focus on the fact that you work from home, what the nanny sees as challenges in this situation, what she would do in specific situations, how she likes to communicate, etc. I'd personally be very happy with your job (though I can't comment on the salary as I'm not in the US) so I'm sure there is somebody out there for you.

Good luck!

I am 9:52 and you are proving my point because you would fall in the third category I mentioned: nannies who have something else going on and a part-time job fits like the perfect puzzle piece. But if you after-school family canceled on you, you would need to find a new job that either fits that slot perfectly or one full-time job or find two new jobs, etc. For a family like OP that is looking for most of the fay four days per week, there will be a limited number of nannies who need that specific schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Nanny & may be in the minority here, but there are many people out there who do not like watching kids every single day.

So these people would be happy taking on a part-time gig.
And it is false that an employer should offer higher pay for less hours because they cannot offer more hours!
What other jobs out there offer more p/h for part-time work.....??!

Also, YES.....Younger Nannies DO spend more time on their Smartphones via the older ones.
It is only natural since they were raised always having to be connected.
They have zero memory of a time when people did not always have to be within reach all the time.

Any job that is less desirable will have to offer better compensation. That is basic supply/demand economics. So if OP is offering an undesirable schedule (long enough hours and enough days to make another PT job hard to find but not enough hours to be a full-time job), then she will have to either extend her job search until she finds someone willing to work that schedule for that pay who doesn’t suck, or she will need to make the job more desirable. She could do that by adjusting the hours (such as by having the nanny come in 5 days a week and leave early enough to get to a typical after-school gig), or by extending the hours to make it a full-time position or by paying enough that someone is willing to run the risk of not finding a compatible weekend gig.


One other thought for OP: you could consider looking at a nanny share. A lot of families might be interested in a share where the other kid is only there 2/3 of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been through 6 nannies in 5 months. Most last only a few weeks.

The job is care for one infant, he was 4 months when the position started. I pay $20/hr and the job is to play with him and take him for one walk per day. I ask for the bottles and dishes to be put in the dishwasher and his toys cleaned up at the end of the day and one load of his laundry per week. The job is part time, 32 hours/week with taxes deducted. We pay 3 weeks PTO, sick leave, mileage reimbursement and a health insurance stipend. The job is 7AM - 3PM, 4 days/week.

We have been hiring through Care.Com. Our process is to send a full job description, schedule a phone interview, check 3 references and conduct a criminal background check, have a trial shift paid in cash and then hire if all goes well.

1st nanny. Fell asleep on the job multiple times while watching the baby. Spent half the time watching Netflix until 2PM in the afternoon until I asked her to not do that. She called in sick for a week straight and never returned.

2nd nanny lasted 1 day. We paid her in cash for a trial shift. She never showed up the next day and when I called her she said she had slept through her alarm. She begged for the job, stating she was not in a "good living situation" which was a red flag.

3rd nanny complained about the hours and was constantly on her phone. The toys were never picked up. She asked to start later so she could work out in the morning. She wanted to take my son for outings, everyday, for 2-3 hours at a time and clearly did not want to be in my house. My husband got frustrated because everytime he would come home he would have to clean up the mess while she sat on the couch, on her phone.

4th nanny took a 2 hour nap on our couch her first day. She nearly ate through my entire fridge. My son spent alot of time in his highchair while she spent her time, eating, and not doing anything I asked her to do. When I came home, she was asleep on the couch and my son was awake in his playroom. She said she was taking a nap to "prevent a mental breakdown. I let her go on the spot.

5th nanny never showed up. She claimed the weather was too bad for her to leave the house on both days that I asked her to come. I had to cancel two important meetings because she cancelled and it affected my work.

6th nanny lies about everything. Claims she can't take our son for a walk because she has a fractured leg, but is not wearing a brace and seems to weight bear just fine. Asks to come in later because she's "so tired" in the morning. Wants to leave early almost every day. Complains, at length, about her personal problems and stress. Spends an inordinate amount of time on her phone and listened to a Bachelor podcast SO loudly for 4+ hours/day, I could hear the podcast in my office. Talks about how she "loves nannying" but isn't sure if she wants to continue. I asked her to turn her podcast down and she became a bit shirty with me.

Please tell me what I am doing wrong. I am trying to be flexible and let our current nanny come in later to accomodate her sleep schedule. I let her do her schoolwork on her breaks instead of housekeeping. She is good at cleaning up at the end of the day. But she clearly has alot of issues and stress in her life and brings it alllllllll into the workplace.

I don't know what to do and am feeling at my wits end. Not having reliable childcare is a big stressor in my life and is affecting my work performance. Is it possible to find a nanny to work part time who a) won't sleep on the job b) is capable of picking up toys and putting them in the dishwasher and c) will not spend HOURS on her phone or wanting to watch netflix?

How do you know this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP.
Your Nannies all sound like complete losers to me!

For your next hire - I strongly suggest that you do not contact references until you have met the potential Nanny first.
This way, the Nanny does not exhaust her references.
References are usually contacted as a last step before hire.

(This is just a friendly suggestion...... I personally do not think it has anything to do w/your Nanny issues!)

Do you work from home?
Does your husband??
Perhaps this dynamic is making it harder to get a decent Nanny since the majority of Nannies feel a bit uncomfortable when their charge’s parents are in the home at the same time.

And if you do telecommute, do you interfere w/the Nanny’s autonomy?
Nannies for the most part do not like being micromanaged at all so if you are coming into the room when your child cries for example, it may make the job a tad stressful.

Also if you have cameras set up in your home, this could also cause a Nanny to feel resentful especially if you mention something that you saw on the video that may seem benign.

Finally, are you hiring younger Nannies?
Younger Nannies tend to be on their phones more often & are usually not financially dependent on their job since their parents may still be supporting them.
Older Nannies tend to be more responsible in general.....
They usually have a much better work ethic.

I am basically speculating “possible” reasons.
Just some food for thought here.

If I were you, I would stay away from these online childcare websites where anyone can use the title “Professional Nanny” and choose instead to search for a reliable + responsible person through a good, reputable Nanny agency.

I wish you the best in your search!

I am a WAHM. I do not have the time or energy to micromanage because while I am home, I am in a private office working.

I have come out on a few occasions which was warranted, my child was crying unconsolably. Twice he had been injured, the first time had had his finger caught in a door and there was blood. The second time he had fallen backwards and hit his head on a hardwood floor! The nanny didn't come to get me either time to notify me or to even ask where the first aid kit is or what she should do.

The third time, the nanny was cleaning and he was sitting in a corner of the room, unattended with dirty clothes and a very full, dirty diaper with caked on poop and the blue line on his diaper had almost turned white with saturation from the pee.

I know this is an unpopular opinion in the nanny community, but there are very few jobs in this world that offer minimal to zero supervision and unfettered access to children. Even outside of my home office in the building where my company is based, my bosses office is two doors down. She observes my interactions with clients and coworkers casually. She critiques my work. She gives me feedback. There is a way to do this without micromanaging. Nannies should know this and employers should be able to give feedback and supervise without seeming overbearing.

Part of receiving feedback is normal with any job. I do not micromanage, but a nanny *has* to be comfortable with receiving direction and feedback and supervision. It's part of any job. If a nanny has issues with parents being in their home I welcome her to find any job where he or she will never be under any supervision or performance monitoring.

Just reading your above response tells me that YOU are the problem and you do micromanage and are a control freak.

Agree.

And adding that $20/hr for part time isn’t going to attract anyone who is actually professional and experienced. Care.com is a mess (even more so now that nannies have to pay to speak to most families). Try your local list serve but also reevaluate how you view nannies. Being a nanny isn’t like being in an office. Totally different jobs.

The nanny is SLEEPING IN THE JOB! First off, that is HIGHLY unprofessional when the baby is sleeping, but when the baby isn’t, is an immediate firable offense.

OP, maybe upping your rate for part time. But I think the best thing to do is to work with an agency. I am a nurturing and qualified career nanny. I work with WFH parents. I prefer Fridays off. I think what you are requiring is very basic and you should be able to find a qualified candidate, but you’re not, so something needs to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I have found with Part-Time nanny jobs. If a nanny is willing to work part-time it is because there is something “wrong” with her that precludes her ability to get a more desirable full-time job. So you need one of three things:

1) A high enough wage that she can work 32 hours and earn what she would earn in 40 hours elsewhere

2) 40 hours of work, even if one day per week DH just runs errands and hangs out.

3) A nanny whose needs and schedule line up perfectly with yours so that she needs exactly the hours you are offering (dicey because if anything changed she will quit).

If the nanny has a partner at home, she may not need full time work and PREFER part time. Not everything is so black and white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I have found with Part-Time nanny jobs. If a nanny is willing to work part-time it is because there is something “wrong” with her that precludes her ability to get a more desirable full-time job. So you need one of three things:

1) A high enough wage that she can work 32 hours and earn what she would earn in 40 hours elsewhere

2) 40 hours of work, even if one day per week DH just runs errands and hangs out.

3) A nanny whose needs and schedule line up perfectly with yours so that she needs exactly the hours you are offering (dicey because if anything changed she will quit).

If the nanny has a partner at home, she may not need full time work and PREFER part time. Not everything is so black and white.

I have been hiring pt nannies for years and if she is married and doesn’t want to work ft but wants a job just as ahobby then that counts as something “wrong” because she doesn’t need the money and may not be as serious about the job.

[Anonymous]

Possible causes:

1. The pay is good but the agency probably takes most of it?
2. you rub them off wrongly? -- I wouldn't work for "some mothers."
3. The agency is not screening them properly
4. They take the job because they need it, then find out it's too far and they can't arrive on time?

I'm sorry for your experiences, they do seem like losers, but the other red flag is that YOU are not screening them properly. Take a deep breath, don't rush into hiring someone because you are desperate.
There is something called "common denominator."

[Anonymous]

How did you know all these nannies were sleeping? Did you walk out and catch them? Seems crazy they would be sleeping knowing you were right there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP.
Your Nannies all sound like complete losers to me!

For your next hire - I strongly suggest that you do not contact references until you have met the potential Nanny first.
This way, the Nanny does not exhaust her references.
References are usually contacted as a last step before hire.

(This is just a friendly suggestion...... I personally do not think it has anything to do w/your Nanny issues!)

Do you work from home?
Does your husband??
Perhaps this dynamic is making it harder to get a decent Nanny since the majority of Nannies feel a bit uncomfortable when their charge’s parents are in the home at the same time.

And if you do telecommute, do you interfere w/the Nanny’s autonomy?
Nannies for the most part do not like being micromanaged at all so if you are coming into the room when your child cries for example, it may make the job a tad stressful.

Also if you have cameras set up in your home, this could also cause a Nanny to feel resentful especially if you mention something that you saw on the video that may seem benign.

Finally, are you hiring younger Nannies?
Younger Nannies tend to be on their phones more often & are usually not financially dependent on their job since their parents may still be supporting them.
Older Nannies tend to be more responsible in general.....
They usually have a much better work ethic.

I am basically speculating “possible” reasons.
Just some food for thought here.

If I were you, I would stay away from these online childcare websites where anyone can use the title “Professional Nanny” and choose instead to search for a reliable + responsible person through a good, reputable Nanny agency.

I wish you the best in your search!

I am a WAHM. I do not have the time or energy to micromanage because while I am home, I am in a private office working.

I have come out on a few occasions which was warranted, my child was crying unconsolably. Twice he had been injured, the first time had had his finger caught in a door and there was blood. The second time he had fallen backwards and hit his head on a hardwood floor! The nanny didn't come to get me either time to notify me or to even ask where the first aid kit is or what she should do.

The third time, the nanny was cleaning and he was sitting in a corner of the room, unattended with dirty clothes and a very full, dirty diaper with caked on poop and the blue line on his diaper had almost turned white with saturation from the pee.

I know this is an unpopular opinion in the nanny community, but there are very few jobs in this world that offer minimal to zero supervision and unfettered access to children. Even outside of my home office in the building where my company is based, my bosses office is two doors down. She observes my interactions with clients and coworkers casually. She critiques my work. She gives me feedback. There is a way to do this without micromanaging. Nannies should know this and employers should be able to give feedback and supervise without seeming overbearing.

Part of receiving feedback is normal with any job. I do not mromanage, but a nanny *has* to be comfortable with receiving direction and feedback and supervision. It's part of any job. If a nanny has issues with parents being in their home I welcome her to find any job where he or she will never be under any supervision or performance monitoring.

I WFH several times a week and I did micromanage sitters, especially in the beginning. I don't care if I came across as overbearing - it’s my kid after all. I have hired three nannies within 7 years, and all three of them keep in touch with me and became friends with each other. I made sure to introduce the new nanny to the former ones, I warned them all that I am demanding and very involved, I sent them to classes, and payed to the best of my abilities. We had our moments, of course, but nothing you've described.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP.
Your Nannies all sound like complete losers to me!

For your next hire - I strongly suggest that you do not contact references until you have met the potential Nanny first.
This way, the Nanny does not exhaust her references.
References are usually contacted as a last step before hire.

(This is just a friendly suggestion...... I personally do not think it has anything to do w/your Nanny issues!)

Do you work from home?
Does your husband??
Perhaps this dynamic is making it harder to get a decent Nanny since the majority of Nannies feel a bit uncomfortable when their charge’s parents are in the home at the same time.

And if you do telecommute, do you interfere w/the Nanny’s autonomy?
Nannies for the most part do not like being micromanaged at all so if you are coming into the room when your child cries for example, it may make the job a tad stressful.

Also if you have cameras set up in your home, this could also cause a Nanny to feel resentful especially if you mention something that you saw on the video that may seem benign.

Finally, are you hiring younger Nannies?
Younger Nannies tend to be on their phones more often & are usually not financially dependent on their job since their parents may still be supporting them.
Older Nannies tend to be more responsible in general.....
They usually have a much better work ethic.

I am basically speculating “possible” reasons.
Just some food for thought here.

If I were you, I would stay away from these online childcare websites where anyone can use the title “Professional Nanny” and choose instead to search for a reliable + responsible person through a good, reputable Nanny agency.

I wish you the best in your search!

I am a WAHM. I do not have the time or energy to micromanage because while I am home, I am in a private office working.

I have come out on a few occasions which was warranted, my child was crying unconsolably. Twice he had been injured, the first time had had his finger caught in a door and there was blood. The second time he had fallen backwards and hit his head on a hardwood floor! The nanny didn't come to get me either time to notify me or to even ask where the first aid kit is or what she should do.

The third time, the nanny was cleaning and he was sitting in a corner of the room, unattended with dirty clothes and a very full, dirty diaper with caked on poop and the blue line on his diaper had almost turned white with saturation from the pee.

I know this is an unpopular opinion in the nanny community, but there are very few jobs in this world that offer minimal to zero supervision and unfettered access to children. Even outside of my home office in the building where my company is based, my bosses office is two doors down. She observes my interactions with clients and coworkers casually. She critiques my work. She gives me feedback. There is a way to do this without micromanaging. Nannies should know this and employers should be able to give feedback and supervise without seeming overbearing.

Part of receiving feedback is normal with any job. I do not mromanage, but a nanny *has* to be comfortable with receiving direction and feedback and supervision. It's part of any job. If a nanny has issues with parents being in their home I welcome her to find any job where he or she will never be under any supervision or performance monitoring.

I WFH several times a week and I did micromanage sitters, especially in the beginning. I don't care if I came across as overbearing - it’s my kid after all. I have hired three nannies within 7 years, and all three of them keep in touch with me and became friends with each other. I made sure to introduce the new nanny to the former ones, I warned them all that I am demanding and very involved, I sent them to classes, and payed to the best of my abilities. We had our moments, of course, but nothing you've described.

I can just imagine the desperate women who worked for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP.
Your Nannies all sound like complete losers to me!

For your next hire - I strongly suggest that you do not contact references until you have met the potential Nanny first.
This way, the Nanny does not exhaust her references.
References are usually contacted as a last step before hire.

(This is just a friendly suggestion...... I personally do not think it has anything to do w/your Nanny issues!)

Do you work from home?
Does your husband??
Perhaps this dynamic is making it harder to get a decent Nanny since the majority of Nannies feel a bit uncomfortable when their charge’s parents are in the home at the same time.

And if you do telecommute, do you interfere w/the Nanny’s autonomy?
Nannies for the most part do not like being micromanaged at all so if you are coming into the room when your child cries for example, it may make the job a tad stressful.

Also if you have cameras set up in your home, this could also cause a Nanny to feel resentful especially if you mention something that you saw on the video that may seem benign.

Finally, are you hiring younger Nannies?
Younger Nannies tend to be on their phones more often & are usually not financially dependent on their job since their parents may still be supporting them.
Older Nannies tend to be more responsible in general.....
They usually have a much better work ethic.

I am basically speculating “possible” reasons.
Just some food for thought here.

If I were you, I would stay away from these online childcare websites where anyone can use the title “Professional Nanny” and choose instead to search for a reliable + responsible person through a good, reputable Nanny agency.

I wish you the best in your search!

I am a WAHM. I do not have the time or energy to micromanage because while I am home, I am in a private office working.

I have come out on a few occasions which was warranted, my child was crying unconsolably. Twice he had been injured, the first time had had his finger caught in a door and there was blood. The second time he had fallen backwards and hit his head on a hardwood floor! The nanny didn't come to get me either time to notify me or to even ask where the first aid kit is or what she should do.

The third time, the nanny was cleaning and he was sitting in a corner of the room, unattended with dirty clothes and a very full, dirty diaper with caked on poop and the blue line on his diaper had almost turned white with saturation from the pee.

I know this is an unpopular opinion in the nanny community, but there are very few jobs in this world that offer minimal to zero supervision and unfettered access to children. Even outside of my home office in the building where my company is based, my bosses office is two doors down. She observes my interactions with clients and coworkers casually. She critiques my work. She gives me feedback. There is a way to do this without micromanaging. Nannies should know this and employers should be able to give feedback and supervise without seeming overbearing.

Part of receiving feedback is normal with any job. I do not mromanage, but a nanny *has* to be comfortable with receiving direction and feedback and supervision. It's part of any job. If a nanny has issues with parents being in their home I welcome her to find any job where he or she will never be under any supervision or performance monitoring.

I WFH several times a week and I did micromanage sitters, especially in the beginning. I don't care if I came across as overbearing - it’s my kid after all. I have hired three nannies within 7 years, and all three of them keep in touch with me and became friends with each other. I made sure to introduce the new nanny to the former ones, I warned them all that I am demanding and very involved, I sent them to classes, and payed to the best of my abilities. We had our moments, of course, but nothing you've described.

I can just imagine the desperate women who worked for you.

Oh, you poor thing, there is no need to overwork your imagination - I would not hire you with your attitude. I don’t want you to sleep on the job and get my kids injured.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is crazy. How in the world are you hiring so many neglectful people? It just doesnt make sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP.
Your Nannies all sound like complete losers to me!

For your next hire - I strongly suggest that you do not contact references until you have met the potential Nanny first.
This way, the Nanny does not exhaust her references.
References are usually contacted as a last step before hire.

(This is just a friendly suggestion...... I personally do not think it has anything to do w/your Nanny issues!)

Do you work from home?
Does your husband??
Perhaps this dynamic is making it harder to get a decent Nanny since the majority of Nannies feel a bit uncomfortable when their charge’s parents are in the home at the same time.

And if you do telecommute, do you interfere w/the Nanny’s autonomy?
Nannies for the most part do not like being micromanaged at all so if you are coming into the room when your child cries for example, it may make the job a tad stressful.

Also if you have cameras set up in your home, this could also cause a Nanny to feel resentful especially if you mention something that you saw on the video that may seem benign.

Finally, are you hiring younger Nannies?
Younger Nannies tend to be on their phones more often & are usually not financially dependent on their job since their parents may still be supporting them.
Older Nannies tend to be more responsible in general.....
They usually have a much better work ethic.

I am basically speculating “possible” reasons.
Just some food for thought here.

If I were you, I would stay away from these online childcare websites where anyone can use the title “Professional Nanny” and choose instead to search for a reliable + responsible person through a good, reputable Nanny agency.

I wish you the best in your search!

I am a WAHM. I do not have the time or energy to micromanage because while I am home, I am in a private office working.

I have come out on a few occasions which was warranted, my child was crying unconsolably. Twice he had been injured, the first time had had his finger caught in a door and there was blood. The second time he had fallen backwards and hit his head on a hardwood floor! The nanny didn't come to get me either time to notify me or to even ask where the first aid kit is or what she should do.

The third time, the nanny was cleaning and he was sitting in a corner of the room, unattended with dirty clothes and a very full, dirty diaper with caked on poop and the blue line on his diaper had almost turned white with saturation from the pee.

I know this is an unpopular opinion in the nanny community, but there are very few jobs in this world that offer minimal to zero supervision and unfettered access to children. Even outside of my home office in the building where my company is based, my bosses office is two doors down. She observes my interactions with clients and coworkers casually. She critiques my work. She gives me feedback. There is a way to do this without micromanaging. Nannies should know this and employers should be able to give feedback and supervise without seeming overbearing.

Part of receiving feedback is normal with any job. I do not mromanage, but a nanny *has* to be comfortable with receiving direction and feedback and supervision. It's part of any job. If a nanny has issues with parents being in their home I welcome her to find any job where he or she will never be under any supervision or performance monitoring.

I WFH several times a week and I did micromanage sitters, especially in the beginning. I don't care if I came across as overbearing - it’s my kid after all. I have hired three nannies within 7 years, and all three of them keep in touch with me and became friends with each other. I made sure to introduce the new nanny to the former ones, I warned them all that I am demanding and very involved, I sent them to classes, and payed to the best of my abilities. We had our moments, of course, but nothing you've described.

I can just imagine the desperate women who worked for you.

Oh, you poor thing, there is no need to overwork your imagination - I would not hire you with your attitude. I don’t want you to sleep on the job and get my kids injured.

Ma’am you need not worry as I would never accept a position from you. I’m not desperate for work so I don’t have to settle for positions with a neurotic and controlling mother who has been through 3 nannies in 7 years.