Am I doing something wrong here or is it bad luck?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is crazy. How in the world are you hiring so many neglectful people? It just doesnt make sense.

She micromanages and doesn’t pay well. Who is really surprised all she is getting are duds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP.
Your Nannies all sound like complete losers to me!

For your next hire - I strongly suggest that you do not contact references until you have met the potential Nanny first.
This way, the Nanny does not exhaust her references.
References are usually contacted as a last step before hire.

(This is just a friendly suggestion...... I personally do not think it has anything to do w/your Nanny issues!)

Do you work from home?
Does your husband??
Perhaps this dynamic is making it harder to get a decent Nanny since the majority of Nannies feel a bit uncomfortable when their charge’s parents are in the home at the same time.

And if you do telecommute, do you interfere w/the Nanny’s autonomy?
Nannies for the most part do not like being micromanaged at all so if you are coming into the room when your child cries for example, it may make the job a tad stressful.

Also if you have cameras set up in your home, this could also cause a Nanny to feel resentful especially if you mention something that you saw on the video that may seem benign.

Finally, are you hiring younger Nannies?
Younger Nannies tend to be on their phones more often & are usually not financially dependent on their job since their parents may still be supporting them.
Older Nannies tend to be more responsible in general.....
They usually have a much better work ethic.

I am basically speculating “possible” reasons.
Just some food for thought here.

If I were you, I would stay away from these online childcare websites where anyone can use the title “Professional Nanny” and choose instead to search for a reliable + responsible person through a good, reputable Nanny agency.

I wish you the best in your search!

I am a WAHM. I do not have the time or energy to micromanage because while I am home, I am in a private office working.

I have come out on a few occasions which was warranted, my child was crying unconsolably. Twice he had been injured, the first time had had his finger caught in a door and there was blood. The second time he had fallen backwards and hit his head on a hardwood floor! The nanny didn't come to get me either time to notify me or to even ask where the first aid kit is or what she should do.

The third time, the nanny was cleaning and he was sitting in a corner of the room, unattended with dirty clothes and a very full, dirty diaper with caked on poop and the blue line on his diaper had almost turned white with saturation from the pee.

I know this is an unpopular opinion in the nanny community, but there are very few jobs in this world that offer minimal to zero supervision and unfettered access to children. Even outside of my home office in the building where my company is based, my bosses office is two doors down. She observes my interactions with clients and coworkers casually. She critiques my work. She gives me feedback. There is a way to do this without micromanaging. Nannies should know this and employers should be able to give feedback and supervise without seeming overbearing.

Part of receiving feedback is normal with any job. I do not mromanage, but a nanny *has* to be comfortable with receiving direction and feedback and supervision. It's part of any job. If a nanny has issues with parents being in their home I welcome her to find any job where he or she will never be under any supervision or performance monitoring.

I WFH several times a week and I did micromanage sitters, especially in the beginning. I don't care if I came across as overbearing - it’s my kid after all. I have hired three nannies within 7 years, and all three of them keep in touch with me and became friends with each other. I made sure to introduce the new nanny to the former ones, I warned them all that I am demanding and very involved, I sent them to classes, and payed to the best of my abilities. We had our moments, of course, but nothing you've described.

I can just imagine the desperate women who worked for you.

Oh, you poor thing, there is no need to overwork your imagination - I would not hire you with your attitude. I don’t want you to sleep on the job and get my kids injured.

Ma’am you need not worry as I would never accept a position from you. I’m not desperate for work so I don’t have to settle for positions with a neurotic and controlling mother who has been through 3 nannies in 7 years.

As opposed to the five unmanaged nannies the OP went through in a month? Employees need training, need to be held accountable, and know the expectations. I've more so when they are responsible for the life and wellbeing of someone’s child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP.
Your Nannies all sound like complete losers to me!

For your next hire - I strongly suggest that you do not contact references until you have met the potential Nanny first.
This way, the Nanny does not exhaust her references.
References are usually contacted as a last step before hire.

(This is just a friendly suggestion...... I personally do not think it has anything to do w/your Nanny issues!)

Do you work from home?
Does your husband??
Perhaps this dynamic is making it harder to get a decent Nanny since the majority of Nannies feel a bit uncomfortable when their charge’s parents are in the home at the same time.

And if you do telecommute, do you interfere w/the Nanny’s autonomy?
Nannies for the most part do not like being micromanaged at all so if you are coming into the room when your child cries for example, it may make the job a tad stressful.

Also if you have cameras set up in your home, this could also cause a Nanny to feel resentful especially if you mention something that you saw on the video that may seem benign.

Finally, are you hiring younger Nannies?
Younger Nannies tend to be on their phones more often & are usually not financially dependent on their job since their parents may still be supporting them.
Older Nannies tend to be more responsible in general.....
They usually have a much better work ethic.

I am basically speculating “possible” reasons.
Just some food for thought here.

If I were you, I would stay away from these online childcare websites where anyone can use the title “Professional Nanny” and choose instead to search for a reliable + responsible person through a good, reputable Nanny agency.

I wish you the best in your search!

I am a WAHM. I do not have the time or energy to micromanage because while I am home, I am in a private office working.

I have come out on a few occasions which was warranted, my child was crying unconsolably. Twice he had been injured, the first time had had his finger caught in a door and there was blood. The second time he had fallen backwards and hit his head on a hardwood floor! The nanny didn't come to get me either time to notify me or to even ask where the first aid kit is or what she should do.

The third time, the nanny was cleaning and he was sitting in a corner of the room, unattended with dirty clothes and a very full, dirty diaper with caked on poop and the blue line on his diaper had almost turned white with saturation from the pee.

I know this is an unpopular opinion in the nanny community, but there are very few jobs in this world that offer minimal to zero supervision and unfettered access to children. Even outside of my home office in the building where my company is based, my bosses office is two doors down. She observes my interactions with clients and coworkers casually. She critiques my work. She gives me feedback. There is a way to do this without micromanaging. Nannies should know this and employers should be able to give feedback and supervise without seeming overbearing.

Part of receiving feedback is normal with any job. I do not mromanage, but a nanny *has* to be comfortable with receiving direction and feedback and supervision. It's part of any job. If a nanny has issues with parents being in their home I welcome her to find any job where he or she will never be under any supervision or performance monitoring.

I WFH several times a week and I did micromanage sitters, especially in the beginning. I don't care if I came across as overbearing - it’s my kid after all. I have hired three nannies within 7 years, and all three of them keep in touch with me and became friends with each other. I made sure to introduce the new nanny to the former ones, I warned them all that I am demanding and very involved, I sent them to classes, and payed to the best of my abilities. We had our moments, of course, but nothing you've described.

I can just imagine the desperate women who worked for you.

Oh, you poor thing, there is no need to overwork your imagination - I would not hire you with your attitude. I don’t want you to sleep on the job and get my kids injured.

Ma’am you need not worry as I would never accept a position from you. I’m not desperate for work so I don’t have to settle for positions with a neurotic and controlling mother who has been through 3 nannies in 7 years.

Accepted? You’d never be considered to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP.
Your Nannies all sound like complete losers to me!

For your next hire - I strongly suggest that you do not contact references until you have met the potential Nanny first.
This way, the Nanny does not exhaust her references.
References are usually contacted as a last step before hire.

(This is just a friendly suggestion...... I personally do not think it has anything to do w/your Nanny issues!)

Do you work from home?
Does your husband??
Perhaps this dynamic is making it harder to get a decent Nanny since the majority of Nannies feel a bit uncomfortable when their charge’s parents are in the home at the same time.

And if you do telecommute, do you interfere w/the Nanny’s autonomy?
Nannies for the most part do not like being micromanaged at all so if you are coming into the room when your child cries for example, it may make the job a tad stressful.

Also if you have cameras set up in your home, this could also cause a Nanny to feel resentful especially if you mention something that you saw on the video that may seem benign.

Finally, are you hiring younger Nannies?
Younger Nannies tend to be on their phones more often & are usually not financially dependent on their job since their parents may still be supporting them.
Older Nannies tend to be more responsible in general.....
They usually have a much better work ethic.

I am basically speculating “possible” reasons.
Just some food for thought here.

If I were you, I would stay away from these online childcare websites where anyone can use the title “Professional Nanny” and choose instead to search for a reliable + responsible person through a good, reputable Nanny agency.

I wish you the best in your search!

I am a WAHM. I do not have the time or energy to micromanage because while I am home, I am in a private office working.

I have come out on a few occasions which was warranted, my child was crying unconsolably. Twice he had been injured, the first time had had his finger caught in a door and there was blood. The second time he had fallen backwards and hit his head on a hardwood floor! The nanny didn't come to get me either time to notify me or to even ask where the first aid kit is or what she should do.

The third time, the nanny was cleaning and he was sitting in a corner of the room, unattended with dirty clothes and a very full, dirty diaper with caked on poop and the blue line on his diaper had almost turned white with saturation from the pee.

I know this is an unpopular opinion in the nanny community, but there are very few jobs in this world that offer minimal to zero supervision and unfettered access to children. Even outside of my home office in the building where my company is based, my bosses office is two doors down. She observes my interactions with clients and coworkers casually. She critiques my work. She gives me feedback. There is a way to do this without micromanaging. Nannies should know this and employers should be able to give feedback and supervise without seeming overbearing.

Part of receiving feedback is normal with any job. I do not mromanage, but a nanny *has* to be comfortable with receiving direction and feedback and supervision. It's part of any job. If a nanny has issues with parents being in their home I welcome her to find any job where he or she will never be under any supervision or performance monitoring.

I WFH several times a week and I did micromanage sitters, especially in the beginning. I don't care if I came across as overbearing - it’s my kid after all. I have hired three nannies within 7 years, and all three of them keep in touch with me and became friends with each other. I made sure to introduce the new nanny to the former ones, I warned them all that I am demanding and very involved, I sent them to classes, and payed to the best of my abilities. We had our moments, of course, but nothing you've described.

I can just imagine the desperate women who worked for you.

Oh, you poor thing, there is no need to overwork your imagination - I would not hire you with your attitude. I don’t want you to sleep on the job and get my kids injured.

Ma’am you need not worry as I would never accept a position from you. I’m not desperate for work so I don’t have to settle for positions with a neurotic and controlling mother who has been through 3 nannies in 7 years.

As opposed to the five unmanaged nannies the OP went through in a month? Employees need training, need to be held accountable, and know the expectations. I've more so when they are responsible for the life and wellbeing of someone’s child.

If your employees need all of that, then you are hiring the wrong people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP.
Your Nannies all sound like complete losers to me!

For your next hire - I strongly suggest that you do not contact references until you have met the potential Nanny first.
This way, the Nanny does not exhaust her references.
References are usually contacted as a last step before hire.

(This is just a friendly suggestion...... I personally do not think it has anything to do w/your Nanny issues!)

Do you work from home?
Does your husband??
Perhaps this dynamic is making it harder to get a decent Nanny since the majority of Nannies feel a bit uncomfortable when their charge’s parents are in the home at the same time.

And if you do telecommute, do you interfere w/the Nanny’s autonomy?
Nannies for the most part do not like being micromanaged at all so if you are coming into the room when your child cries for example, it may make the job a tad stressful.

Also if you have cameras set up in your home, this could also cause a Nanny to feel resentful especially if you mention something that you saw on the video that may seem benign.

Finally, are you hiring younger Nannies?
Younger Nannies tend to be on their phones more often & are usually not financially dependent on their job since their parents may still be supporting them.
Older Nannies tend to be more responsible in general.....
They usually have a much better work ethic.

I am basically speculating “possible” reasons.
Just some food for thought here.

If I were you, I would stay away from these online childcare websites where anyone can use the title “Professional Nanny” and choose instead to search for a reliable + responsible person through a good, reputable Nanny agency.

I wish you the best in your search!

I am a WAHM. I do not have the time or energy to micromanage because while I am home, I am in a private office working.

I have come out on a few occasions which was warranted, my child was crying unconsolably. Twice he had been injured, the first time had had his finger caught in a door and there was blood. The second time he had fallen backwards and hit his head on a hardwood floor! The nanny didn't come to get me either time to notify me or to even ask where the first aid kit is or what she should do.

The third time, the nanny was cleaning and he was sitting in a corner of the room, unattended with dirty clothes and a very full, dirty diaper with caked on poop and the blue line on his diaper had almost turned white with saturation from the pee.

I know this is an unpopular opinion in the nanny community, but there are very few jobs in this world that offer minimal to zero supervision and unfettered access to children. Even outside of my home office in the building where my company is based, my bosses office is two doors down. She observes my interactions with clients and coworkers casually. She critiques my work. She gives me feedback. There is a way to do this without micromanaging. Nannies should know this and employers should be able to give feedback and supervise without seeming overbearing.

Part of receiving feedback is normal with any job. I do not mromanage, but a nanny *has* to be comfortable with receiving direction and feedback and supervision. It's part of any job. If a nanny has issues with parents being in their home I welcome her to find any job where he or she will never be under any supervision or performance monitoring.

I WFH several times a week and I did micromanage sitters, especially in the beginning. I don't care if I came across as overbearing - it’s my kid after all. I have hired three nannies within 7 years, and all three of them keep in touch with me and became friends with each other. I made sure to introduce the new nanny to the former ones, I warned them all that I am demanding and very involved, I sent them to classes, and payed to the best of my abilities. We had our moments, of course, but nothing you've described.

I can just imagine the desperate women who worked for you.

Oh, you poor thing, there is no need to overwork your imagination - I would not hire you with your attitude. I don’t want you to sleep on the job and get my kids injured.

Ma’am you need not worry as I would never accept a position from you. I’m not desperate for work so I don’t have to settle for positions with a neurotic and controlling mother who has been through 3 nannies in 7 years.

Accepted? You’d never be considered to begin with.

You’re absolutely right bc one email from you would be enough to simply ignore. You’ll show your hand from the jump. Only a desperate nanny would even reply back to your job posting. Good luck with your 4th and 5th nannies.

[Anonymous]

Nannies have the option of quitting. I feel sorry for the child(Ren) who are stuck with her as their mother! Heaven help them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP.
Your Nannies all sound like complete losers to me!

For your next hire - I strongly suggest that you do not contact references until you have met the potential Nanny first.
This way, the Nanny does not exhaust her references.
References are usually contacted as a last step before hire.

(This is just a friendly suggestion...... I personally do not think it has anything to do w/your Nanny issues!)

Do you work from home?
Does your husband??
Perhaps this dynamic is making it harder to get a decent Nanny since the majority of Nannies feel a bit uncomfortable when their charge’s parents are in the home at the same time.

And if you do telecommute, do you interfere w/the Nanny’s autonomy?
Nannies for the most part do not like being micromanaged at all so if you are coming into the room when your child cries for example, it may make the job a tad stressful.

Also if you have cameras set up in your home, this could also cause a Nanny to feel resentful especially if you mention something that you saw on the video that may seem benign.

Finally, are you hiring younger Nannies?
Younger Nannies tend to be on their phones more often & are usually not financially dependent on their job since their parents may still be supporting them.
Older Nannies tend to be more responsible in general.....
They usually have a much better work ethic.

I am basically speculating “possible” reasons.
Just some food for thought here.

If I were you, I would stay away from these online childcare websites where anyone can use the title “Professional Nanny” and choose instead to search for a reliable + responsible person through a good, reputable Nanny agency.

I wish you the best in your search!

I am a WAHM. I do not have the time or energy to micromanage because while I am home, I am in a private office working.

I have come out on a few occasions which was warranted, my child was crying unconsolably. Twice he had been injured, the first time had had his finger caught in a door and there was blood. The second time he had fallen backwards and hit his head on a hardwood floor! The nanny didn't come to get me either time to notify me or to even ask where the first aid kit is or what she should do.

The third time, the nanny was cleaning and he was sitting in a corner of the room, unattended with dirty clothes and a very full, dirty diaper with caked on poop and the blue line on his diaper had almost turned white with saturation from the pee.

I know this is an unpopular opinion in the nanny community, but there are very few jobs in this world that offer minimal to zero supervision and unfettered access to children. Even outside of my home office in the building where my company is based, my bosses office is two doors down. She observes my interactions with clients and coworkers casually. She critiques my work. She gives me feedback. There is a way to do this without micromanaging. Nannies should know this and employers should be able to give feedback and supervise without seeming overbearing.

Part of receiving feedback is normal with any job. I do not mromanage, but a nanny *has* to be comfortable with receiving direction and feedback and supervision. It's part of any job. If a nanny has issues with parents being in their home I welcome her to find any job where he or she will never be under any supervision or performance monitoring.

I WFH several times a week and I did micromanage sitters, especially in the beginning. I don't care if I came across as overbearing - it’s my kid after all. I have hired three nannies within 7 years, and all three of them keep in touch with me and became friends with each other. I made sure to introduce the new nanny to the former ones, I warned them all that I am demanding and very involved, I sent them to classes, and payed to the best of my abilities. We had our moments, of course, but nothing you've described.

Of course they became friends. They each shared the same traumatic experience and probably formed a support group.

[Anonymous]

Daycare. Daycare. Daycare.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to do a better job weeding these people out. The nanny market is tough — there are many non-professionals, and it’s hard to get the few who are good. Start with working trials and do an in-depth interview with how would you handle X scenario/what’s important in this stage of development questions. Expect to go through like 40 candidates on care. com to find two or three plausible ones. I’m sorry, the search process is awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been through 6 nannies in 5 months. Most last only a few weeks.

The job is care for one infant, he was 4 months when the position started. I pay $20/hr and the job is to play with him and take him for one walk per day. I ask for the bottles and dishes to be put in the dishwasher and his toys cleaned up at the end of the day and one load of his laundry per week. The job is part time, 32 hours/week with taxes deducted. We pay 3 weeks PTO, sick leave, mileage reimbursement and a health insurance stipend. The job is 7AM - 3PM, 4 days/week.

We have been hiring through Care.Com. Our process is to send a full job description, schedule a phone interview, check 3 references and conduct a criminal background check, have a trial shift paid in cash and then hire if all goes well.

1st nanny. Fell asleep on the job multiple times while watching the baby. Spent half the time watching Netflix until 2PM in the afternoon until I asked her to not do that. She called in sick for a week straight and never returned.

2nd nanny lasted 1 day. We paid her in cash for a trial shift. She never showed up the next day and when I called her she said she had slept through her alarm. She begged for the job, stating she was not in a "good living situation" which was a red flag.

3rd nanny complained about the hours and was constantly on her phone. The toys were never picked up. She asked to start later so she could work out in the morning. She wanted to take my son for outings, everyday, for 2-3 hours at a time and clearly did not want to be in my house. My husband got frustrated because everytime he would come home he would have to clean up the mess while she sat on the couch, on her phone.

4th nanny took a 2 hour nap on our couch her first day. She nearly ate through my entire fridge. My son spent alot of time in his highchair while she spent her time, eating, and not doing anything I asked her to do. When I came home, she was asleep on the couch and my son was awake in his playroom. She said she was taking a nap to "prevent a mental breakdown. I let her go on the spot.

5th nanny never showed up. She claimed the weather was too bad for her to leave the house on both days that I asked her to come. I had to cancel two important meetings because she cancelled and it affected my work.

6th nanny lies about everything. Claims she can't take our son for a walk because she has a fractured leg, but is not wearing a brace and seems to weight bear just fine. Asks to come in later because she's "so tired" in the morning. Wants to leave early almost every day. Complains, at length, about her personal problems and stress. Spends an inordinate amount of time on her phone and listened to a Bachelor podcast SO loudly for 4+ hours/day, I could hear the podcast in my office. Talks about how she "loves nannying" but isn't sure if she wants to continue. I asked her to turn her podcast down and she became a bit shirty with me.

Please tell me what I am doing wrong. I am trying to be flexible and let our current nanny come in later to accomodate her sleep schedule. I let her do her schoolwork on her breaks instead of housekeeping. She is good at cleaning up at the end of the day. But she clearly has alot of issues and stress in her life and brings it alllllllll into the workplace.

I don't know what to do and am feeling at my wits end. Not having reliable childcare is a big stressor in my life and is affecting my work performance. Is it possible to find a nanny to work part time who a) won't sleep on the job b) is capable of picking up toys and putting them in the dishwasher and c) will not spend HOURS on her phone or wanting to watch netflix?

[Anonymous]

1) the average rent is $2000. She is taking home less than that a month, and she has commute expenses.
2) you should expect the person your underpaying to eat your food. Obviously, the nanny will not be able to afford to eat.
3) you want a professional nanny; then pay for one. You are paying a babysitter to make sure your you kid stays alive and you don't go to jail for leaving your kid alone.
4)professional nannies get $30-35 an hour in rural areas; and $35-$100 per hour in the big cities. As well, as an apartment or at least a room. Plus health benefits and vacation.
luxury nannies get $200,000 a year++++. We have our specialties.
That is why you can't find a nanny. Hard truth.
I think you wanted someone to vent to-side with you- and say, "you poor thing."
BE Respectful to the person your under paying AND be kind.
Your not paying them enough to even come to work. Car insurance and upkeep. It's cheaper for them to stay home. GET IT?!
I hope this helps you for the future. Take Care.

[Anonymous]

for 30/hr ill do it! ha.

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing they're giving you fake references.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daycare. Daycare. Daycare.

Yeah, daycare workers love mothers like OP. /s

[Anonymous]

Not sure where you live, but it may have something to do with the quality of nannies in your city. I also don’t know any professional nannies that accept part time positions, considering we are professionals, who like most, need a full time job.

I’d be curious the age/experience of your nannies as well. What did their references say? I would also never use care.com. I’ve found great families on Nextdoor.com and found my dream job here on DCUM.