Am I doing something wrong here or is it bad luck?

[Anonymous]

I'm a middle aged nanny who gets most of my work via word of mouth. I started on sitter city and care.com. There are good nannies there, so don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.

I think a big part of the problem is you working from home. That is stressful and highly undesirable to nannies. I think also the $20 before taxes is undesirable unless you live in a very low cost of living area. In my coastal city, that would be around $13-14 after taxes which is absolutely not enough to live on. A studio apartment goes for around $1100 (starting price,) not including utilities.

Third, perhaps you could consider a nanny share where the nanny and kids spend more time at the other family's home. She'd make more money to offset your 32 hours, you'd save some money, and you'd attract someone with more patience and experience--someone who knows it's not going to be an easy gig with one baby. If you find someone willing to do a share, you'll find someone willing to work.

You don't say what ages the nannies have been, but if they're very young, look older and vice versa. In the interview, ask what kinds of things they do with the baby during the day. Ask what they do when the baby is napping. Ask when they'll get the laundry done. Ask what she'll do with the baby when it's walking, when it's 2 etc. An experienced nanny will have ready answers to these questions.

[Anonymous]

$20 an hour is reasonable. I'd consider day care.

[Anonymous]

I am the pp who suggested making it full time. I feel like there are plenty of ways to maximize this situation. Husband comes home at 3 and takes one kid out while nanny stays with kids. Husband goes to the gym, grocery shopping, art class after work. On your day off, you are home sometimes but you run errands, do laundry, go to the gym, meet friends, volunteer. Maybe you let her go home at 3 that day. Or you ask if she is willing to work later hours on your day off - she comes in at noon and then stays through dinner and you and your husband have a date night each week.

If you can afford it at all, full time will for sure change the pool of applicants. And if you can totally trust the nanny, you won’t have to come tend to the kid who falls or check on chores or worry about walks. You can actually stay “hidden” in your office because the nanny can be trusted.

[Anonymous]

It’s more than likely not you. The pay is low, and I doubt it’s a livable wage. Using care is a risk, as you now know. You need to screen references very well, whether you use an agency or not. “Would you hire Nanny X again? Why?” “How did Nanny X handle (any issue you’ve had)?” I strongly suggest you screen for nannies who can cope with a WAHP. Ask them what issues concern them about your being home. Ask them their thoughts on how to manage those issues. You want a person who believes in positive resolutions.

Oh, you need to seek out references on Social Media. There are people in every field who lie about references. Verify the people any potential hire offers up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP.
Your Nannies all sound like complete losers to me!

For your next hire - I strongly suggest that you do not contact references until you have met the potential Nanny first.
This way, the Nanny does not exhaust her references.
References are usually contacted as a last step before hire.

(This is just a friendly suggestion...... I personally do not think it has anything to do w/your Nanny issues!)

Do you work from home?
Does your husband??
Perhaps this dynamic is making it harder to get a decent Nanny since the majority of Nannies feel a bit uncomfortable when their charge’s parents are in the home at the same time.

And if you do telecommute, do you interfere w/the Nanny’s autonomy?
Nannies for the most part do not like being micromanaged at all so if you are coming into the room when your child cries for example, it may make the job a tad stressful.

Also if you have cameras set up in your home, this could also cause a Nanny to feel resentful especially if you mention something that you saw on the video that may seem benign.

Finally, are you hiring younger Nannies?
Younger Nannies tend to be on their phones more often & are usually not financially dependent on their job since their parents may still be supporting them.
Older Nannies tend to be more responsible in general.....
They usually have a much better work ethic.

I am basically speculating “possible” reasons.
Just some food for thought here.

If I were you, I would stay away from these online childcare websites where anyone can use the title “Professional Nanny” and choose instead to search for a reliable + responsible person through a good, reputable Nanny agency.

I wish you the best in your search!

I am a WAHM. I do not have the time or energy to micromanage because while I am home, I am in a private office working.

I have come out on a few occasions which was warranted, my child was crying unconsolably. Twice he had been injured, the first time had had his finger caught in a door and there was blood. The second time he had fallen backwards and hit his head on a hardwood floor! The nanny didn't come to get me either time to notify me or to even ask where the first aid kit is or what she should do.

The third time, the nanny was cleaning and he was sitting in a corner of the room, unattended with dirty clothes and a very full, dirty diaper with caked on poop and the blue line on his diaper had almost turned white with saturation from the pee.

I know this is an unpopular opinion in the nanny community, but there are very few jobs in this world that offer minimal to zero supervision and unfettered access to children. Even outside of my home office in the building where my company is based, my bosses office is two doors down. She observes my interactions with clients and coworkers casually. She critiques my work. She gives me feedback. There is a way to do this without micromanaging. Nannies should know this and employers should be able to give feedback and supervise without seeming overbearing.

Part of receiving feedback is normal with any job. I do not micromanage, but a nanny *has* to be comfortable with receiving direction and feedback and supervision. It's part of any job. If a nanny has issues with parents being in their home I welcome her to find any job where he or she will never be under any supervision or performance monitoring.

Just reading your above response tells me that YOU are the problem and you do micromanage and are a control freak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP.
Your Nannies all sound like complete losers to me!

For your next hire - I strongly suggest that you do not contact references until you have met the potential Nanny first.
This way, the Nanny does not exhaust her references.
References are usually contacted as a last step before hire.

(This is just a friendly suggestion...... I personally do not think it has anything to do w/your Nanny issues!)

Do you work from home?
Does your husband??
Perhaps this dynamic is making it harder to get a decent Nanny since the majority of Nannies feel a bit uncomfortable when their charge’s parents are in the home at the same time.

And if you do telecommute, do you interfere w/the Nanny’s autonomy?
Nannies for the most part do not like being micromanaged at all so if you are coming into the room when your child cries for example, it may make the job a tad stressful.

Also if you have cameras set up in your home, this could also cause a Nanny to feel resentful especially if you mention something that you saw on the video that may seem benign.

Finally, are you hiring younger Nannies?
Younger Nannies tend to be on their phones more often & are usually not financially dependent on their job since their parents may still be supporting them.
Older Nannies tend to be more responsible in general.....
They usually have a much better work ethic.

I am basically speculating “possible” reasons.
Just some food for thought here.

If I were you, I would stay away from these online childcare websites where anyone can use the title “Professional Nanny” and choose instead to search for a reliable + responsible person through a good, reputable Nanny agency.

I wish you the best in your search!

I am a WAHM. I do not have the time or energy to micromanage because while I am home, I am in a private office working.

I have come out on a few occasions which was warranted, my child was crying unconsolably. Twice he had been injured, the first time had had his finger caught in a door and there was blood. The second time he had fallen backwards and hit his head on a hardwood floor! The nanny didn't come to get me either time to notify me or to even ask where the first aid kit is or what she should do.

The third time, the nanny was cleaning and he was sitting in a corner of the room, unattended with dirty clothes and a very full, dirty diaper with caked on poop and the blue line on his diaper had almost turned white with saturation from the pee.

I know this is an unpopular opinion in the nanny community, but there are very few jobs in this world that offer minimal to zero supervision and unfettered access to children. Even outside of my home office in the building where my company is based, my bosses office is two doors down. She observes my interactions with clients and coworkers casually. She critiques my work. She gives me feedback. There is a way to do this without micromanaging. Nannies should know this and employers should be able to give feedback and supervise without seeming overbearing.

Part of receiving feedback is normal with any job. I do not micromanage, but a nanny *has* to be comfortable with receiving direction and feedback and supervision. It's part of any job. If a nanny has issues with parents being in their home I welcome her to find any job where he or she will never be under any supervision or performance monitoring.

Just reading your above response tells me that YOU are the problem and you do micromanage and are a control freak.

Agree.

And adding that $20/hr for part time isn’t going to attract anyone who is actually professional and experienced. Care.com is a mess (even more so now that nannies have to pay to speak to most families). Try your local list serve but also reevaluate how you view nannies. Being a nanny isn’t like being in an office. Totally different jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$20 an hour is reasonable. I'd consider day care.

It isn’t reasonable for PT. Since you think it is, you would have no other choice, but to consider daycare.

[Anonymous]

Here is what I have found with Part-Time nanny jobs. If a nanny is willing to work part-time it is because there is something “wrong” with her that precludes her ability to get a more desirable full-time job. So you need one of three things:

1) A high enough wage that she can work 32 hours and earn what she would earn in 40 hours elsewhere

2) 40 hours of work, even if one day per week DH just runs errands and hangs out.

3) A nanny whose needs and schedule line up perfectly with yours so that she needs exactly the hours you are offering (dicey because if anything changed she will quit).

[Anonymous]

As a nanny of 15 years, and a former career in the chef/baking world before that- it makes me upset that not only are there so many terrible childcare providers, but so much unprofessional behavior on the job. I think maybe I come at things from an older perspective, but these were not nannies. Not even babysitters.

I 90 percent work via agencies. That way, you have a guarantee if we aren't a good match- at least that is how mine work- there is a 90 day trial period. I've had one job via care, and it was the best family ever- a very lucky find- and one job via a referrel. The rest were placements via agencies. If you can find a good one and can afford the placement fee, that might be a better plan.

I would also up the part time pay somewhat. And 3 solid references!

Good luck! You sound like a good employer. I wish i had those hours- but I would have to charge you more too

[Anonymous]

I am a Nanny & may be in the minority here, but there are many people out there who do not like watching kids every single day.

So these people would be happy taking on a part-time gig.
And it is false that an employer should offer higher pay for less hours because they cannot offer more hours!
What other jobs out there offer more p/h for part-time work.....??!

Also, YES.....Younger Nannies DO spend more time on their Smartphones via the older ones.
It is only natural since they were raised always having to be connected.
They have zero memory of a time when people did not always have to be within reach all the time.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone, we will look into an agency. I think that will at least make sure there is a sense of accountability. Care was such a waste of time.

We can go up to $25/hr. $20 is what we were quoted by the candidates so that’s what we paid.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny of 15 years and I prefer to have part-time jobs! For several years I worked in a daycare in the mornings and had school-aged kids in the afternoon, and for a couple of years I worked two full days at the daycare and 3 full days with a family who had similar needs as OP.

I don't think it's you, OP, those nannies are literally either not showing up or sleeping on the job. Part-time or not, that's unacceptable. From what you're saying I'm not getting the idea that they're feeling micromanaged. When you're being micromanaged you don't exactly have time for naps on the clock.

I think you maybe need to up your interview game: focus on the fact that you work from home, what the nanny sees as challenges in this situation, what she would do in specific situations, how she likes to communicate, etc. I'd personally be very happy with your job (though I can't comment on the salary as I'm not in the US) so I'm sure there is somebody out there for you.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Nanny & may be in the minority here, but there are many people out there who do not like watching kids every single day.

So these people would be happy taking on a part-time gig.
And it is false that an employer should offer higher pay for less hours because they cannot offer more hours!
What other jobs out there offer more p/h for part-time work.....??!

Also, YES.....Younger Nannies DO spend more time on their Smartphones via the older ones.
It is only natural since they were raised always having to be connected.
They have zero memory of a time when people did not always have to be within reach all the time.

I disagree about phones. Lots of people of all ages are addicted, and if this gen doesn't remember a time of not being connected constantly, that is on the parents for not educating them about work ethics and professional behavior.
My daughter is 22 and works in veterinary care. For 10- 12 hours a day, she is only on her phone during her lunch. She is on time, works hard in a very stressful industry, and understands having a work ethic. Many of her peers are the same. Either you understand it, or you don't- phones are just a newer distraction. Having trained people in kitchens for 25 years before I became a nanny, the amount of boomer/gen x folks that were always late, drunk, hungover, lazy, was no less than now.
There is no excuse for any of the nanny behavior the OP listed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Nanny & may be in the minority here, but there are many people out there who do not like watching kids every single day.

So these people would be happy taking on a part-time gig.
And it is false that an employer should offer higher pay for less hours because they cannot offer more hours!
What other jobs out there offer more p/h for part-time work.....??!

Also, YES.....Younger Nannies DO spend more time on their Smartphones via the older ones.
It is only natural since they were raised always having to be connected.
They have zero memory of a time when people did not always have to be within reach all the time.

So then please explain why it is so hard to find good and reliable part time care.

[Anonymous]

Definitely switch to daycare!