Nanny asking for ridiculous raise

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and it makes no difference what you make or what expenses you have. Makes no difference if you can afford more or not. Stick to your guns and tell her to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and it makes no difference what you make or what expenses you have. Makes no difference if you can afford more or not. Stick to your guns and tell her to grow up.

Yes, thank you. I plan on giving her her notice on Monday morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she knows what you earn; she has no idea what your other expenses are. But now she's going to be resentful no matter what, which can lead to all sorts of bad behaviors whether she continues in your employ or not, such as venting to her friends about how "rich" you are. I would not be comfortable with someone like that having a key to my house. I understand you are conflicted but please be careful with your family and your home.

We do make a very attractive yearly income, however we pay mortgage, have 2 car payments, loans from college, health insurance for us 4 and my mother and father, plus we like to save money for our children’s college funds. She thinks we have a lot of left over money and we don’t

.

Who cares!?! You earned the life you live and she is not owed any bit of it! I am the above nanny who asked for a higher raise than my bosses were expecting and I think you are paying a very fair and competitive salary. There is no chance I’d give into her demands. I just cannot believe someone would behave this way (not the kind of attitude she should be teaching your children either)! How badly do you want to keep this nanny is the big question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s time to renew our contract and our nanny is asking for an insane raise! We have given her a raise after each year she has been with us but this time she requests almost triple what we’ve raised her in the past. I was confused as to why she was demanding we pay her that much more. I then found out she saw our annual income because we had left our tax papers on the kitchen counter one day. She says we’re “rich“ and can “afford” the raise. However, her demand would mean paying her at least $150+ a week (depending if she does over time) and that is too much for my husband and I at the moment. I don’t want to let her go but I don’t want to lose her either. We countered her offer and said we could do the same we’ve always done but she’s not taking it.

Can you clarify the raise would be $150 more than what she is making or you only pay her $150?!

Right now she works 45 hours with us at $26.50/h. = 1192.5 per week.
She wants $30/h x 45= 1350 per week.
It’s a 150+ weekly increase

Thanks for clarifying. She should never have snooped through your stuff. Even if it was out in the open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and it makes no difference what you make or what expenses you have. Makes no difference if you can afford more or not. Stick to your guns and tell her to grow up.

Yes, thank you. I plan on giving her her notice on Monday morning.

I wouldn't give her notice. I would tell her on Friday when you get home from work. Make sure to get keys, car seats etc . She is no longer willing to do the job for the rate you pay. How can you give her notice ? What would you pay her, according to her she won't work for your rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and it makes no difference what you make or what expenses you have. Makes no difference if you can afford more or not. Stick to your guns and tell her to grow up.

Yes, thank you. I plan on giving her her notice on Monday morning.

I am a nanny and I agree with this nanny. How much you can afford is of no concern (for better or worse). Does she think extremely wealthy people and celebrities pay their nannies based on their own incomes?!

At $30 an hour, a nanny had better have an advanced degree in child development and a decade of preschool teaching experience!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she knows what you earn; she has no idea what your other expenses are. But now she's going to be resentful no matter what, which can lead to all sorts of bad behaviors whether she continues in your employ or not, such as venting to her friends about how "rich" you are. I would not be comfortable with someone like that having a key to my house. I understand you are conflicted but please be careful with your family and your home.

+1. Given her behavior - insisting on an outsized raise because you're "rich" and refusing to negotiate - I would start looking for someone new. You don't want someone like this in your home.

Agreed. Just because she thinks you're rich she deserves more? Entitled and greedy.

[Anonymous]

Another nanny here and your nanny is dead wrong.

However, she has been with your older child for his/her whole life. I would let her quit if $27.50 isn't enough but not fire her for asking. You need to set her straight - yes. You need to tell her that your finances or what you can afford are none of her business. Hold tight to the $27 and hour but don't fire her.

[Anonymous]

I am also a Nanny & I find it problematic that she admitted to looking at your tax returns.
It is YOUR home + you should feel free to not have to hide every important document.
I see personal checks, utility bills, invoices, etc. all the time around my employer’s home.
My MB even keeps a daily gratitude journal.
(I accidentally opened it, thinking it was a hardcover novel.
Once I figured out what it was, I closed it immediately.)

And I never actually read any of their stuff because I respect them, their home + their things.
For your Nanny to admit she snooped would be the actual firing offense, not asking for a raise so ridiculous that I want to laugh.

I think you should fire her w/out notice.
Reason being -> I wouldn’t want MY child being cared for by someone who wasn’t happy w/their pay.
Plain & simple.

Good luck OP • Hopefully she will leave peacefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she knows what you earn; she has no idea what your other expenses are. But now she's going to be resentful no matter what, which can lead to all sorts of bad behaviors whether she continues in your employ or not, such as venting to her friends about how "rich" you are. I would not be comfortable with someone like that having a key to my house.

+1. Given her behavior - insisting on an outsized raise because you're "rich" and refusing to negotiate - I would start looking for someone new. You don't want someone like this in your home.

I totally agree with all of this!

I’m just surprised that after she admitted to snooping, you tried to negotiate with her. My response to her telling me she looked at my personal documents would have probably been more along the lines of, “excuse me?!”

She must have been an amazing nanny before this whole mess for you to not want to immediately fire her. I find it so disrespectful that she took the time to really look at your tax return, and then brought it up to you like there’s nothing wrong with what she did. You’re paying her fairly, and giving her good benefits, so you owe her nothing more. If you ask me, she’s really messed up a great position.

Good luck, and please update us on how Monday goes if you have time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and it makes no difference what you make or what expenses you have. Makes no difference if you can afford more or not. Stick to your guns and tell her to grow up.

I will say, our nanny gave us a break on the raise she was asking for when she realized that we made a lot less than she thought and actually couldn’t swing it. (My husband is a trainee doctor — a fellow — and she definitely thought he was making 3-4x what he is.) So, for us, what we made mattered a little. We gave her a second week of paid time off at her election (3 total guaranteed, but really more like 4-6 depending on the year) and promised a $2 raise when he finished his fellowship next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry I meant *$100 for cellphone per month.

That’s ridiculous! I have a personal and work phone. Work phone is on the family’s plan, and my personal phone costs $495/year for unlimited everything (straight talk). The only reason I have two phones is because my employers would pay for it anyway (cheaper with that many lines).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and it makes no difference what you make or what expenses you have. Makes no difference if you can afford more or not. Stick to your guns and tell her to grow up.

I will say, our nanny gave us a break on the raise she was asking for when she realized that we made a lot less than she thought and actually couldn’t swing it. (My husband is a trainee doctor — a fellow — and she definitely thought he was making 3-4x what he is.) So, for us, what we made mattered a little. We gave her a second week of paid time off at her election (3 total guaranteed, but really more like 4-6 depending on the year) and promised a $2 raise when he finished his fellowship next year.

Btdt. I’m happy to sit down with a family and hammer out what the position is really worth, what they can afford now, and write up a contract to reflect a significant increase when they will be able to afford it. I’m a live in, I can afford to do that, but most live out nannies have a bottom line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and it makes no difference what you make or what expenses you have. Makes no difference if you can afford more or not. Stick to your guns and tell her to grow up.

I will say, our nanny gave us a break on the raise she was asking for when she realized that we made a lot less than she thought and actually couldn’t swing it. (My husband is a trainee doctor — a fellow — and she definitely thought he was making 3-4x what he is.) So, for us, what we made mattered a little. We gave her a second week of paid time off at her election (3 total guaranteed, but really more like 4-6 depending on the year) and promised a $2 raise when he finished his fellowship next year.

Btdt. I’m happy to sit down with a family and hammer out what the position is really worth, what they can afford now, and write up a contract to reflect a significant increase when they will be able to afford it. I’m a live in, I can afford to do that, but most live out nannies have a bottom line.

its just funny how her "bottom line" is because of how "rich" they are. Not her actual abilities as a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she knows what you earn; she has no idea what your other expenses are. But now she's going to be resentful no matter what, which can lead to all sorts of bad behaviors whether she continues in your employ or not, such as venting to her friends about how "rich" you are. I would not be comfortable with someone like that having a key to my house. I understand you are conflicted but please be careful with your family and your home.

We do make a very attractive yearly income, however we pay mortgage, have 2 car payments, loans from college, health insurance for us 4 and my mother and father, plus we like to save money for our children’s college funds. She thinks we have a lot of left over money and we don’t

Your income is not relevant to her income. She is paid comfortably.