Nanny asking for ridiculous raise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. A week ago she asked for $30/h. We discussed it again after that and again this week. She had 2 opportunities to accept. This was my last offer. I wasn’t going to sit around and let her manipulate us like were owe her a big raise. Now the 3rd time she wanted to think about it? Nope. Not in my book. And for those of you saying my 4 year old is going to pay, fortunately he’ll be fine. My housekeeper has been with us since before he was born so she is very familiar with him and so is he. She’s baby sat him before on days where the nanny couldn’t. He adores her as well.

Yeah, mothers like you always say "he'll be fine". And you're right - he is not going to die but it is not good for him either. Someone who cared for him has disappeared and he cannot understand why.You should have calmed down and given the nanny of four years a chance to accept the final offer and save face.

Sometimes, as a parent, it is not about "our book" - it is about our kids' books.

They’re my children. I did what I thought was best for them. If I had given her the raise I would not be happy with her and possibly would have let her go anyway. If she had accepted our raise, she might have been upset and quit anyway or her nannying abilities would have been compromised since she was also giving us a take it or leave it situation

You did what was best for you in your state of anger and resentment. Just be honest with at least yourself, OP, even if you can't admit it here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s time to renew our contract and our nanny is asking for an insane raise! We have given her a raise after each year she has been with us but this time she requests almost triple what we’ve raised her in the past. I was confused as to why she was demanding we pay her that much more. I then found out she saw our annual income because we had left our tax papers on the kitchen counter one day. She says we’re “rich“ and can “afford” the raise. However, her demand would mean paying her at least $150+ a week (depending if she does over time) and that is too much for my husband and I at the moment. I don’t want to let her go but I don’t want to lose her either. We countered her offer and said we could do the same we’ve always done but she’s not taking it.

Can you clarify the raise would be $150 more than what she is making or you only pay her $150?!

Right now she works 45 hours with us at $26.50/h. = 1192.5 per week.
She wants $30/h x 45= 1350 per week.
It’s a 150+ weekly increase

So you don't pay overtime for hours 41-45? I'd suggest correcting that issue (13.75 * 5 = $68.75) plus the dollar raise for the first 40 hours is a decent compromise imo. Less than the $175 she wants, more than the $45 you are offering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s time to renew our contract and our nanny is asking for an insane raise! We have given her a raise after each year she has been with us but this time she requests almost triple what we’ve raised her in the past. I was confused as to why she was demanding we pay her that much more. I then found out she saw our annual income because we had left our tax papers on the kitchen counter one day. She says we’re “rich“ and can “afford” the raise. However, her demand would mean paying her at least $150+ a week (depending if she does over time) and that is too much for my husband and I at the moment. I don’t want to let her go but I don’t want to lose her either. We countered her offer and said we could do the same we’ve always done but she’s not taking it.

Can you clarify the raise would be $150 more than what she is making or you only pay her $150?!

Right now she works 45 hours with us at $26.50/h. = 1192.5 per week.
She wants $30/h x 45= 1350 per week.
It’s a 150+ weekly increase

So you don't pay overtime for hours 41-45? I'd suggest correcting that issue (13.75 * 5 = $68.75) plus the dollar raise for the first 40 hours is a decent compromise imo. Less than the $175 she wants, more than the $45 you are offering.

I do pay overtime after 40 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s time to renew our contract and our nanny is asking for an insane raise! We have given her a raise after each year she has been with us but this time she requests almost triple what we’ve raised her in the past. I was confused as to why she was demanding we pay her that much more. I then found out she saw our annual income because we had left our tax papers on the kitchen counter one day. She says we’re “rich“ and can “afford” the raise. However, her demand would mean paying her at least $150+ a week (depending if she does over time) and that is too much for my husband and I at the moment. I don’t want to let her go but I don’t want to lose her either. We countered her offer and said we could do the same we’ve always done but she’s not taking it.

Can you clarify the raise would be $150 more than what she is making or you only pay her $150?!

Right now she works 45 hours with us at $26.50/h. = 1192.5 per week.
She wants $30/h x 45= 1350 per week.
It’s a 150+ weekly increase

So you don't pay overtime for hours 41-45? I'd suggest correcting that issue (13.75 * 5 = $68.75) plus the dollar raise for the first 40 hours is a decent compromise imo. Less than the $175 she wants, more than the $45 you are offering.

I do pay overtime after 40 hours.

I just realized I didn't include that in the calculations.

[Anonymous]

OP you did the right thing. Your income has nothing to do with nanny's income. Do you pay more for a meal or a haircut because you make more than other customers? Nanny is ridicoulous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you did the right thing. Your income has nothing to do with nanny's income. Do you pay more for a meal or a haircut because you make more than other customers? Nanny is ridicoulous.

No one on this forum thought the nanny was right. But people, including myself, have thought that firing the nanny before she had a chance to rethink the ultimatum was not in the best interest of OP's older child. That's all.

[Anonymous]

I think you made the right decision, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you made the right decision, OP.

I think OP made the right decision to stand her ground but not in firing the nanny without giving her a chance to come around over the weekend. And not for the nanny's sake - but for the older kid's sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you made the right decision, OP.

I think OP made the right decision to stand her ground but not in firing the nanny without giving her a chance to come around over the weekend. And not for the nanny's sake - but for the older kid's sake.

The nanny looked through her tax papers and then demanded a raise because, in her opinion, they have extra money. Who knows what she's saying about the parents to the child, especially once they denied the raise.

And she was given a lot of time to think about it. What did she think it meant when she said $27.50 wasn't acceptable? This is why you don't give ultimatums you aren't willing to follow through on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you made the right decision, OP.

I think OP made the right decision to stand her ground but not in firing the nanny without giving her a chance to come around over the weekend. And not for the nanny's sake - but for the older kid's sake.

The nanny looked through her tax papers and then demanded a raise because, in her opinion, they have extra money. Who knows what she's saying about the parents to the child, especially once they denied the raise.

And she was given a lot of time to think about it. What did she think it meant when she said $27.50 wasn't acceptable? This is why you don't give ultimatums you aren't willing to follow through on.

I agree with everything you have have posted. But still would have given the nanny the weekend to rethink her ultimatum.

Maybe it is different for OP but my children are very connected to their nanny and love her. I would soften my final decision for their sake and let the nanny come back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you made the right decision, OP.

I think OP made the right decision to stand her ground but not in firing the nanny without giving her a chance to come around over the weekend. And not for the nanny's sake - but for the older kid's sake.

The nanny looked through her tax papers and then demanded a raise because, in her opinion, they have extra money. Who knows what she's saying about the parents to the child, especially once they denied the raise.

And she was given a lot of time to think about it. What did she think it meant when she said $27.50 wasn't acceptable? This is why you don't give ultimatums you aren't willing to follow through on.

I agree with everything you have have posted. But still would have given the nanny the weekend to rethink her ultimatum.

Maybe it is different for OP but my children are very connected to their nanny and love her. I would soften my final decision for their sake and let the nanny come back.

Hell no! No matter how long I had employed my nanny, I would never be able to get past this. For lack of a better, less dramatic word, it’s a betrayal. It would just destroy my opinion of her and I wouldn’t be able to look at her or act the same. Op definitely did the right thing and I’m sure that woman has learned her lesson. What an ass.

It’ll be confusing for the child at first, but hopefully having a familiar face around to look after him will help with that and any possible sadness he may feel. Unfortunately, that’s just the way it is. I wouldn’t want a shady, manipulative person like that caring for my child. Nuh-uh, no thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you made the right decision, OP.

I think OP made the right decision to stand her ground but not in firing the nanny without giving her a chance to come around over the weekend. And not for the nanny's sake - but for the older kid's sake.

The nanny looked through her tax papers and then demanded a raise because, in her opinion, they have extra money. Who knows what she's saying about the parents to the child, especially once they denied the raise.

And she was given a lot of time to think about it. What did she think it meant when she said $27.50 wasn't acceptable? This is why you don't give ultimatums you aren't willing to follow through on.

I agree with everything you have have posted. But still would have given the nanny the weekend to rethink her ultimatum.

Maybe it is different for OP but my children are very connected to their nanny and love her. I would soften my final decision for their sake and let the nanny come back.

Hell no! No matter how long I had employed my nanny, I would never be able to get past this. For lack of a better, less dramatic word, it’s a betrayal. It would just destroy my opinion of her and I wouldn’t be able to look at her or act the same. Op definitely did the right thing and I’m sure that woman has learned her lesson. What an ass.

It’ll be confusing for the child at first, but hopefully having a familiar face around to look after him will help with that and any possible sadness he may feel. Unfortunately, that’s just the way it is. I wouldn’t want a shady, manipulative person like that caring for my child. Nuh-uh, no thanks.

The nanny, according to OP, had been wonderful for four years and they loved her.

Just me, but I would have given her a second chance for the sake of my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you made the right decision, OP.

I think OP made the right decision to stand her ground but not in firing the nanny without giving her a chance to come around over the weekend. And not for the nanny's sake - but for the older kid's sake.

The nanny looked through her tax papers and then demanded a raise because, in her opinion, they have extra money. Who knows what she's saying about the parents to the child, especially once they denied the raise.

And she was given a lot of time to think about it. What did she think it meant when she said $27.50 wasn't acceptable? This is why you don't give ultimatums you aren't willing to follow through on.

I agree with everything you have have posted. But still would have given the nanny the weekend to rethink her ultimatum.

Maybe it is different for OP but my children are very connected to their nanny and love her. I would soften my final decision for their sake and let the nanny come back.

You can actually imagine your nanny doing exactly what OP's nanny did, having the multiple conversations they had about it, and then you'd still feel that way about her?

I'm guessing your nanny is a better person to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Op here, I just want to say to everyone thank you for your comments and not attacking or saying rude things. I agree that my son might be affected but I did what I believed was the right choice. I was not going to be comfortable giving her another chance knowing she tried to manipulate us and she also gave us an ultimatum first.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you have a new nanny lined up?