Nanny asking for ridiculous raise

[Anonymous]

It’s time to renew our contract and our nanny is asking for an insane raise! We have given her a raise after each year she has been with us but this time she requests almost triple what we’ve raised her in the past. I was confused as to why she was demanding we pay her that much more. I then found out she saw our annual income because we had left our tax papers on the kitchen counter one day. She says we’re “rich“ and can “afford” the raise. However, her demand would mean paying her at least $150+ a week (depending if she does over time) and that is too much for my husband and I at the moment. I don’t want to let her go but I don’t want to lose her either. We countered her offer and said we could do the same we’ve always done but she’s not taking it.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she’s saying all or none, so you need to let her know it won’t work. She has x weeks to find another position while you look for someone else.

[Anonymous]

what is she asking for? and are you paying her below market right now? if she doesn't already have a lot of benefits (good pto, health insurance, etc.) then you could try to compensate her that way.

[Anonymous]

I’d call her bluff. Tell her you will give her four weeks notice, I bet she will change her tune.

[Anonymous]

Would you mind sharing what her starting salary was, what her annual raises have been, and what she’s asking for? I asked for more than my bosses were expecting, but did so based on my performance and flexibility, not their increase me. There is a reason they make significantly more than me! We met in the middle and were all very happy. I wouldn’t dream of behaving the way you are describing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you mind sharing what her starting salary was, what her annual raises have been, and what she’s asking for? I asked for more than my bosses were expecting, but did so based on my performance and flexibility, not their increase me. There is a reason they make significantly more than me! We met in the middle and were all very happy. I wouldn’t dream of behaving the way you are describing.

*not their income. I should start proofreading first!

[Anonymous]

So she knows what you earn; she has no idea what your other expenses are. But now she's going to be resentful no matter what, which can lead to all sorts of bad behaviors whether she continues in your employ or not, such as venting to her friends about how "rich" you are. I would not be comfortable with someone like that having a key to my house. I understand you are conflicted but please be careful with your family and your home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s time to renew our contract and our nanny is asking for an insane raise! We have given her a raise after each year she has been with us but this time she requests almost triple what we’ve raised her in the past. I was confused as to why she was demanding we pay her that much more. I then found out she saw our annual income because we had left our tax papers on the kitchen counter one day. She says we’re “rich“ and can “afford” the raise. However, her demand would mean paying her at least $150+ a week (depending if she does over time) and that is too much for my husband and I at the moment. I don’t want to let her go but I don’t want to lose her either. We countered her offer and said we could do the same we’ve always done but she’s not taking it.

Can you clarify the raise would be $150 more than what she is making or you only pay her $150?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s time to renew our contract and our nanny is asking for an insane raise! We have given her a raise after each year she has been with us but this time she requests almost triple what we’ve raised her in the past. I was confused as to why she was demanding we pay her that much more. I then found out she saw our annual income because we had left our tax papers on the kitchen counter one day. She says we’re “rich“ and can “afford” the raise. However, her demand would mean paying her at least $150+ a week (depending if she does over time) and that is too much for my husband and I at the moment. I don’t want to let her go but I don’t want to lose her either. We countered her offer and said we could do the same we’ve always done but she’s not taking it.

Can you clarify the raise would be $150 more than what she is making or you only pay her $150?!

No you idiot, if they give her a raise it would be an additional $150 a week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you mind sharing what her starting salary was, what her annual raises have been, and what she’s asking for? I asked for more than my bosses were expecting, but did so based on my performance and flexibility, not their increase me. There is a reason they make significantly more than me! We met in the middle and were all very happy. I wouldn’t dream of behaving the way you are describing.

Op here. In 2014, her salary has $20/h for my 3 month old. Now, she has my 4 year old (who’s in school part time 5 days a week) and has my 9 month old full time. Last year before the contract was renewed, she went from making $22.50/h to $26.50/h. Now she’s asking for $30/h. We said we could give her $27.50. She doesn’t want that. We give her 2 weeks paid vacation, 3 sick days and $200 for cell phone (since we ask for pictures/videos/update throughout the day). We don’t see a reason to give her another $4/h since her duties have stayed the same.

[Anonymous]

Sorry I meant *$100 for cellphone per month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s time to renew our contract and our nanny is asking for an insane raise! We have given her a raise after each year she has been with us but this time she requests almost triple what we’ve raised her in the past. I was confused as to why she was demanding we pay her that much more. I then found out she saw our annual income because we had left our tax papers on the kitchen counter one day. She says we’re “rich“ and can “afford” the raise. However, her demand would mean paying her at least $150+ a week (depending if she does over time) and that is too much for my husband and I at the moment. I don’t want to let her go but I don’t want to lose her either. We countered her offer and said we could do the same we’ve always done but she’s not taking it.

Can you clarify the raise would be $150 more than what she is making or you only pay her $150?!

Right now she works 45 hours with us at $26.50/h. = 1192.5 per week.
She wants $30/h x 45= 1350 per week.
It’s a 150+ weekly increase

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she knows what you earn; she has no idea what your other expenses are. But now she's going to be resentful no matter what, which can lead to all sorts of bad behaviors whether she continues in your employ or not, such as venting to her friends about how "rich" you are. I would not be comfortable with someone like that having a key to my house. I understand you are conflicted but please be careful with your family and your home.

We do make a very attractive yearly income, however we pay mortgage, have 2 car payments, loans from college, health insurance for us 4 and my mother and father, plus we like to save money for our children’s college funds. She thinks we have a lot of left over money and we don’t

[Anonymous]

Given the level of compensation you describe, you will have no problem finding a replacement. I certainly wouldn't give her a $4/hr increase -- she's still going to expect a raise next year, too.

Good luck to her finding another job that pays as well.

I can't think of a worse justification for a raise than "my employer can afford it." Even if that's what you believe, you need to have a better justification for the ask: increased duties, you're worth more because x/y/z, your salary is low compared to other similar positions, cost of living has increased faster than your salary ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she knows what you earn; she has no idea what your other expenses are. But now she's going to be resentful no matter what, which can lead to all sorts of bad behaviors whether she continues in your employ or not, such as venting to her friends about how "rich" you are. I would not be comfortable with someone like that having a key to my house. I understand you are conflicted but please be careful with your family and your home.

+1. Given her behavior - insisting on an outsized raise because you're "rich" and refusing to negotiate - I would start looking for someone new. You don't want someone like this in your home.