Nanny asking for ridiculous raise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fire her for looking at your financial papers. All employees make less than their employers — that’s how the world works. Threatening you that way and looking st financial papers is reason enough to find a new nanny. Most raises are cost of living raises

Not really. My nanny's HHI is way more than mine!

The point was that an individual nanny (or other employee) makes less than their boss. Otherwise, the boss couldn’t afford to pay them. The only exceptions are employees paid fully or at least supplemented other entities (grandparents, trusts, government, etc.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s time to renew our contract and our nanny is asking for an insane raise! We have given her a raise after each year she has been with us but this time she requests almost triple what we’ve raised her in the past. I was confused as to why she was demanding we pay her that much more. I then found out she saw our annual income because we had left our tax papers on the kitchen counter one day. She says we’re “rich“ and can “afford” the raise. However, her demand would mean paying her at least $150+ a week (depending if she does over time) and that is too much for my husband and I at the moment. I don’t want to let her go but I don’t want to lose her either. We countered her offer and said we could do the same we’ve always done but she’s not taking it.

Can you clarify the raise would be $150 more than what she is making or you only pay her $150?!

Right now she works 45 hours with us at $26.50/h. = 1192.5 per week.
She wants $30/h x 45= 1350 per week.
It’s a 150+ weekly increase

So you don't pay overtime for hours 41-45? I'd suggest correcting that issue (13.75 * 5 = $68.75) plus the dollar raise for the first 40 hours is a decent compromise imo. Less than the $175 she wants, more than the $45 you are offering.

I do pay overtime after 40 hours.

No you don't. If you paid OT, $1258.75 would be her weekly paycheck. Don't lie, because people have calculators and can do math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s time to renew our contract and our nanny is asking for an insane raise! We have given her a raise after each year she has been with us but this time she requests almost triple what we’ve raised her in the past. I was confused as to why she was demanding we pay her that much more. I then found out she saw our annual income because we had left our tax papers on the kitchen counter one day. She says we’re “rich“ and can “afford” the raise. However, her demand would mean paying her at least $150+ a week (depending if she does over time) and that is too much for my husband and I at the moment. I don’t want to let her go but I don’t want to lose her either. We countered her offer and said we could do the same we’ve always done but she’s not taking it.

Can you clarify the raise would be $150 more than what she is making or you only pay her $150?!

Right now she works 45 hours with us at $26.50/h. = 1192.5 per week.
She wants $30/h x 45= 1350 per week.
It’s a 150+ weekly increase

So you don't pay overtime for hours 41-45? I'd suggest correcting that issue (13.75 * 5 = $68.75) plus the dollar raise for the first 40 hours is a decent compromise imo. Less than the $175 she wants, more than the $45 you are offering.

I do pay overtime after 40 hours.

We pay her through pay roll so anything after 40 hours is automatically over time in the service we use. I didn’t realize this when I made the calculations. And at the end of the day I don’t really care if you think I’m lying or not.

No you don't. If you paid OT, $1258.75 would be her weekly paycheck. Don't lie, because people have calculators and can do math.

[Anonymous]

We pay her through pay roll so anything after 40 hours is automatically over time in the service we use. I didn’t realize this when I made the calculations. And at the end of the day I don’t really care if you think I’m lying or not

Had to repost bc Came out funny in the previous post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and it makes no difference what you make or what expenses you have. Makes no difference if you can afford more or not. Stick to your guns and tell her to grow up.

I will say, our nanny gave us a break on the raise she was asking for when she realized that we made a lot less than she thought and actually couldn’t swing it. (My husband is a trainee doctor — a fellow — and she definitely thought he was making 3-4x what he is.) So, for us, what we made mattered a little. We gave her a second week of paid time off at her election (3 total guaranteed, but really more like 4-6 depending on the year) and promised a $2 raise when he finished his fellowship next year.

Btdt. I’m happy to sit down with a family and hammer out what the position is really worth, what they can afford now, and write up a contract to reflect a significant increase when they will be able to afford it. I’m a live in, I can afford to do that, but most live out nannies have a bottom line.

Why is your income based off their income? So, if they make a larger salary, you feel you deserve it? No, that's not how i works.

Did you read what I posted? I’m a live-in nanny, so I don’t have the same type of inflexible bottom line that a live-out nanny has. I negotiate with a family for what they can afford at the moment AND what they will be able to afford down the road, that way there aren’t any surprises or hard feelings. It means that the family gets a great nanny earlier than they can truly afford it, I get longevity, goodwill, and the knowledge that my pay will go from under market to over market once they can afford it. I’m not looking at their pay stubs and bank statements, I’m listening to what they say they can afford now and later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she knows what you earn; she has no idea what your other expenses are. But now she's going to be resentful no matter what, which can lead to all sorts of bad behaviors whether she continues in your employ or not, such as venting to her friends about how "rich" you are. I would not be comfortable with someone like that having a key to my house. I understand you are conflicted but please be careful with your family and your home.

We do make a very attractive yearly income, however we pay mortgage, have 2 car payments, loans from college, health insurance for us 4 and my mother and father, plus we like to save money for our children’s college funds. She thinks we have a lot of left over money and we don’t

OP, your situation sounds similar to ours with respect to your salary, expenses, and nanny hourly pay. We have had our nanny for five years and while she has never asked for a larger raise, she has continued to act more cavalier about our finances as time goes on. We got her a credit card so she could pay for stuff for our children while out and also pay for her gas. Once she was out with my MIL who said she wanted to pay for lunch and our nanny said "don't worry, I have their credit card and they can afford it." I could go on and on about the ways I feel like she has acted like we're rolling in dough with no consideration whatsoever for what we pay her, the cost of nanny taxes, all of her benefits (there are many, totaling over an additional $500/month), and the freedom that we grant her to do what she wants with our kids by paying for outings and meals. We are moving across the country this summer but if we were staying her I'd be done with her. I say this to point out to you how this could turn into something more even if your nanny does agree to your generous offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she knows what you earn; she has no idea what your other expenses are. But now she's going to be resentful no matter what, which can lead to all sorts of bad behaviors whether she continues in your employ or not, such as venting to her friends about how "rich" you are. I would not be comfortable with someone like that having a key to my house. I understand you are conflicted but please be careful with your family and your home.

We do make a very attractive yearly income, however we pay mortgage, have 2 car payments, loans from college, health insurance for us 4 and my mother and father, plus we like to save money for our children’s college funds. She thinks we have a lot of left over money and we don’t

OP, your situation sounds similar to ours with respect to your salary, expenses, and nanny hourly pay. We have had our nanny for five years and while she has never asked for a larger raise, she has continued to act more cavalier about our finances as time goes on. We got her a credit card so she could pay for stuff for our children while out and also pay for her gas. Once she was out with my MIL who said she wanted to pay for lunch and our nanny said "don't worry, I have their credit card and they can afford it." I could go on and on about the ways I feel like she has acted like we're rolling in dough with no consideration whatsoever for what we pay her, the cost of nanny taxes, all of her benefits (there are many, totaling over an additional $500/month), and the freedom that we grant her to do what she wants with our kids by paying for outings and meals. We are moving across the country this summer but if we were staying her I'd be done with her. I say this to point out to you how this could turn into something more even if your nanny does agree to your generous offer.

Good grief! Stupid of her to say that to your MIL. You'll be glad to be rid of her, but kudos to you for not succumbing to the temptation to fire her before your move because that would only cause other stresses when you don't need them. What will you do differently when you hire your next nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she knows what you earn; she has no idea what your other expenses are. But now she's going to be resentful no matter what, which can lead to all sorts of bad behaviors whether she continues in your employ or not, such as venting to her friends about how "rich" you are. I would not be comfortable with someone like that having a key to my house. I understand you are conflicted but please be careful with your family and your home.

We do make a very attractive yearly income, however we pay mortgage, have 2 car payments, loans from college, health insurance for us 4 and my mother and father, plus we like to save money for our children’s college funds. She thinks we have a lot of left over money and we don’t

OP, your situation sounds similar to ours with respect to your salary, expenses, and nanny hourly pay. We have had our nanny for five years and while she has never asked for a larger raise, she has continued to act more cavalier about our finances as time goes on. We got her a credit card so she could pay for stuff for our children while out and also pay for her gas. Once she was out with my MIL who said she wanted to pay for lunch and our nanny said "don't worry, I have their credit card and they can afford it." I could go on and on about the ways I feel like she has acted like we're rolling in dough with no consideration whatsoever for what we pay her, the cost of nanny taxes, all of her benefits (there are many, totaling over an additional $500/month), and the freedom that we grant her to do what she wants with our kids by paying for outings and meals. We are moving across the country this summer but if we were staying her I'd be done with her. I say this to point out to you how this could turn into something more even if your nanny does agree to your generous offer.

Good grief! Stupid of her to say that to your MIL. You'll be glad to be rid of her, but kudos to you for not succumbing to the temptation to fire her before your move because that would only cause other stresses when you don't need them. What will you do differently when you hire your next nanny?

Our new nanny is going to be part-time because our kids will both be in school starting this Fall, so her position will be very different. We will of course still pay for outings for the kids but there will be less of them because school will take up most of the time, and we'll set a budget for outside activities and meals every month so she can choose what to do and think about working within a budget. Part of it is my fault for being so accommodating with activities and meals over the years. Basically I gave several inches and she took a mile. I'm not going to punish my kids by limiting what fun things they can do, but I will be more cautious about keeping an eye on it and letting her know immediately if things are getting too expensive so that they don't snowball. Honestly though, our current nanny just makes really poor financial decisions. She told my husband that cash was tight but I saw on Facebook that she had booked a trip for two weeks down in Miami after we moved.